Your hand shaking technique

supernova84 · 29-06-2012 10:35PM #1

So apparently there are many ways to shake a persons hand. Do you go in hard, over the top or even go for the dreaded left handed shake. What is your technique?

whendovescry · 29-06-2012 10:36PM

I go for their cock, gets their attention.

TheStook · 29-06-2012 10:39PM

Grab their hand forcefully and shake it vigorously, all the while staring at them, then after about 5 seconds I say in a quiet tone, "I must leave now,"

KKkitty · 29-06-2012 10:41PM

I usually put it out there and see what happens.

Fentdog84 · 29-06-2012 10:41PM

I take their right hand with mine at a reasonable force then I pull them in and give them a huge manhug

Pottler · 29-06-2012 10:49PM

I always spit on my palm and then clasp their hand tightly, tucking the cash away with my left, in one deft movement.

membersonly · 29-06-2012 10:50PM

Any handshake that isn't limp wristed is fine by me.

christmas2012 · 29-06-2012 10:52PM

ya sweaty ones are even worse like the dead fish..

pull their hand in for an arm hug haha no just a mid firm handshake but dont squeeeze the hand off

Fentdog84 · 29-06-2012 10:55PM

Seriously, the best handshake is firm but not too tight , but not too long and with good eye contact. Make sure your hand isnt depressing theirs downward as that comes across domineering. Also, sometimes you can use your left hand to pat them gently on the arm or shoulder but I wouldnt do this to someone in authority to you.

Scioch · 29-06-2012 10:56PM

I like to lean into it and shake nice and firm while meeting the eye. No messing about.

I did throw a left hander once because I had a fag in my right hand and he came at me from the right. Rather than turn and switch the fag I just stuck out the left. The awkwardness and confusion that followed haunts me to this day.

christmas2012 · 29-06-2012 10:57PM

slap hand and finger tickle

Pottler · 29-06-2012 11:36PM

wtf is the story with the "limp handers"?? I never ever warm to feckers with limp, watery handshakes - if, at this stage, when everyone has read "Common things not to do to come across as a cnut or slimeball in everyday business transactions" by Joe Jetter, why do some people still shake hands like they have a nail in their elbow? Is it because they are truly cnuts and don't care what impression they make, or are they just Lizard people?

pragmatic1 · 29-06-2012 11:56PM

I try and avoid. God knows where that hand has been.

29-06-2012 11:58PM

Shake shake shake. Shake shake shake.

Pottler · 30-06-2012 12:00AM

Dónal wrote: »

Shake shake shake. Shake shake shake.

shake ya booty.

fasttalkerchat · 30-06-2012 12:15AM

Masonic style.

Rothko · 30-06-2012 12:52AM

Pottler wrote: »

wtf is the story with the "limp handers"?? I never ever warm to feckers with limp, watery handshakes - if, at this stage, when everyone has read "Common things not to do to come across as a cnut or slimeball in everyday business transactions" by Joe Jetter, why do some people still shake hands like they have a nail in their elbow? Is it because they are truly cnuts and don't care what impression they make, or are they just Lizard people?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKmoze-hlXU

uch · 30-06-2012 02:10AM

I'm a serial mastebater,
No one seems to want to shake my hand

Kurz · 30-06-2012 02:22AM

Firmness all the way. There's nothing worse than having to yank someone's arm up and down with their three fingers.

My grandad used to give the best handshakes. He wouldn't let your hand go for about ten minutes :pac:

Dave! · 30-06-2012 02:35AM

Do other lads soften/limpen their handshake when shaking hands with a female? I've been called on that before... Now I overcompensate by firmly grasping their hand, and punching them in the arm with the other fist.

policarp · 30-06-2012 02:50AM

If you're royalty, you can wear a glove. . .

Spread · 30-06-2012 02:59AM

I just shake my hips violently for a few seconds before zipping up. Sorry if this has been said before.

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 30-06-2012 03:03AM

I present them with a socked foot, they may shake that if they wish.

1ZRed · 30-06-2012 03:10AM

Pottler wrote: »

shake ya booty.

Dónal, you so missed out on a thanks there dumbass!

Sindri · 30-06-2012 03:14AM

Limp. It makes them secretly despise you and think they can take advantage of you, just as I like it, they never suspect the limp ones and then when they're not looking you give 'em the oul fork in the eye.

policarp · 30-06-2012 04:07AM

Spread wrote: »

I just shake my hips violently for a few seconds before zipping up. Sorry if this has been said before.

You doing the Huckle **** hipshake?
Elizabeth and Philip's favourite jig. . .:D

mikemac1 · 30-06-2012 04:23AM

Pottler wrote: »

wtf is the story with the "limp handers"?? I never ever warm to feckers with limp, watery handshakes - if, at this stage, when everyone has read "Common things not to do to come across as a cnut or slimeball in everyday business transactions" by Joe Jetter, why do some people still shake hands like they have a nail in their elbow? Is it because they are truly cnuts and don't care what impression they make, or are they just Lizard people?

Because they aren't yanks who spend too much time reading business schools articles on this subject and thinking it actually matters

jefreywithonef · 30-06-2012 04:30AM

I've retired from hand shaking. People took advantage of my limp shake and shattered my already frail confidence so now I just opt for a cool nod of the head, or if I'm in the mood, the eyebrows.

validusername1 · 30-06-2012 06:12AM

Apparently mine is limp.. I don't wanna un-limp it 'cause I feel weird squeezing someone's hand firmly.. I don't know what's too tight and what's not :O

Martyn1989 · 30-06-2012 06:31AM

At the age of 18 (possibly younger, can't remember) a mate of mine went to meet his gfs parents for the first time after only going out with the girl a short time, he went in and squeezed the life out of the poor Dads hand thinking the Dad would 'respect a man with a firm handshake'. Funnily enough the Dad wasn't impressed and he got an earful off her for being a gob****e.

krudler · 30-06-2012 09:16AM

I've never understood this obession with thinking you can tell so much by a quick handshake, I've gotten firm handshakes off some of the slimiest fcukers you could meet so it tells you fcuk all about someones character, especially if you catch someone on the hop and they just quickly do it without putting much thought into it.

Your hand shaking technique

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