Your hand shaking technique

supernova84

So apparently there are many ways to shake a persons hand. Do you go in hard, over the top or even go for the dreaded left handed shake. What is your technique?

whendovescry

I go for their cock, gets their attention.

TheStook

Grab their hand forcefully and shake it vigorously, all the while staring at them, then after about 5 seconds I say in a quiet tone, "I must leave now,"

KKkitty

I usually put it out there and see what happens.

Fentdog84

I take their right hand with mine at a reasonable force then I pull them in and give them a huge manhug

Pottler

I always spit on my palm and then clasp their hand tightly, tucking the cash away with my left, in one deft movement.

membersonly

Any handshake that isn't limp wristed is fine by me.

christmas2012

ya sweaty ones are even worse like the dead fish..

pull their hand in for an arm hug haha no just a mid firm handshake but dont squeeeze the hand off

Fentdog84

Seriously, the best handshake is firm but not too tight , but not too long and with good eye contact. Make sure your hand isnt depressing theirs downward as that comes across domineering. Also, sometimes you can use your left hand to pat them gently on the arm or shoulder but I wouldnt do this to someone in authority to you.

Scioch

I like to lean into it and shake nice and firm while meeting the eye. No messing about.

I did throw a left hander once because I had a fag in my right hand and he came at me from the right. Rather than turn and switch the fag I just stuck out the left. The awkwardness and confusion that followed haunts me to this day.

christmas2012

slap hand and finger tickle

Pottler

wtf is the story with the "limp handers"?? I never ever warm to feckers with limp, watery handshakes - if, at this stage, when everyone has read "Common things not to do to come across as a cnut or slimeball in everyday business transactions" by Joe Jetter, why do some people still shake hands like they have a nail in their elbow? Is it because they are truly cnuts and don't care what impression they make, or are they just Lizard people?

pragmatic1

I try and avoid. God knows where that hand has been.

Shake shake shake. Shake shake shake.

Pottler

Dónal wrote: »

Shake shake shake. Shake shake shake.

shake ya booty.

fasttalkerchat

Masonic style.

Rothko

Pottler wrote: »

wtf is the story with the "limp handers"?? I never ever warm to feckers with limp, watery handshakes - if, at this stage, when everyone has read "Common things not to do to come across as a cnut or slimeball in everyday business transactions" by Joe Jetter, why do some people still shake hands like they have a nail in their elbow? Is it because they are truly cnuts and don't care what impression they make, or are they just Lizard people?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKmoze-hlXU

uch

I'm a serial mastebater,
No one seems to want to shake my hand

Kurz

Firmness all the way. There's nothing worse than having to yank someone's arm up and down with their three fingers.

My grandad used to give the best handshakes. He wouldn't let your hand go for about ten minutes :pac:

Dave!

Do other lads soften/limpen their handshake when shaking hands with a female? I've been called on that before... Now I overcompensate by firmly grasping their hand, and punching them in the arm with the other fist.

policarp

If you're royalty, you can wear a glove. . .

Spread

I just shake my hips violently for a few seconds before zipping up. Sorry if this has been said before.

DonkeyStyle \o/

I present them with a socked foot, they may shake that if they wish.

1ZRed

Pottler wrote: »

shake ya booty.

Dónal, you so missed out on a thanks there dumbass!

Sindri

Limp. It makes them secretly despise you and think they can take advantage of you, just as I like it, they never suspect the limp ones and then when they're not looking you give 'em the oul fork in the eye.

policarp

Spread wrote: »

I just shake my hips violently for a few seconds before zipping up. Sorry if this has been said before.

You doing the Huckle **** hipshake?
Elizabeth and Philip's favourite jig. . .:D

mikemac1

Pottler wrote: »

wtf is the story with the "limp handers"?? I never ever warm to feckers with limp, watery handshakes - if, at this stage, when everyone has read "Common things not to do to come across as a cnut or slimeball in everyday business transactions" by Joe Jetter, why do some people still shake hands like they have a nail in their elbow? Is it because they are truly cnuts and don't care what impression they make, or are they just Lizard people?

Because they aren't yanks who spend too much time reading business schools articles on this subject and thinking it actually matters

jefreywithonef

I've retired from hand shaking. People took advantage of my limp shake and shattered my already frail confidence so now I just opt for a cool nod of the head, or if I'm in the mood, the eyebrows.

validusername1

Apparently mine is limp.. I don't wanna un-limp it 'cause I feel weird squeezing someone's hand firmly.. I don't know what's too tight and what's not :O

Martyn1989

At the age of 18 (possibly younger, can't remember) a mate of mine went to meet his gfs parents for the first time after only going out with the girl a short time, he went in and squeezed the life out of the poor Dads hand thinking the Dad would 'respect a man with a firm handshake'. Funnily enough the Dad wasn't impressed and he got an earful off her for being a gob****e.

krudler

I've never understood this obession with thinking you can tell so much by a quick handshake, I've gotten firm handshakes off some of the slimiest fcukers you could meet so it tells you fcuk all about someones character, especially if you catch someone on the hop and they just quickly do it without putting much thought into it.

The Big Red Button

We got a training session at work on how to shake hands! A lot of it is about eye contact, apparently!!

Intensive Care Bear

My most memorable hand shake happened in Hackney a few years ago, i was on my way home one night and i found a mobile phone on the street. I rang the last dialled number and explained what happened and an hour later this gangster looking rude boy turns up at my door to collect the phone. He was really surprised that someone was returning his girlfriends phone and was very grateful, just before he left came the handshake. I put my hand out for a regular hand shake but noticed at the last second that he had a fist made and was planning on bumping knuckles. I panicked and couldn't bring myself to do the "bumps" so i grabbed his clenched fist and gave it a good manly shake. I'll admit those couple of seconds when i was standing at my front door with a big black mans fist in my hand was one of the most awkward moments in my life.

biko

I grab the hand with a firm grip for a second or two and let go.
None of that old man stuff shaking hands while chatting away, that's just not right holding another man's hand for that long.

Jame Gumb

Nothing worse than someone doing that limp grab your fingers more so than your hand fake handshake thing...

Organic Cavity

Grab as hard as possible, shake like fook and stare straight in the eye.

Intensive Care Bear

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txuWGoZF3ew
This is how real men shake hands.

Spread

Got married in church in LA a few years after civil cermony. Being a friend of the priest, he had some of the old guard to welcome us up the steps. The Majordomo was an old Vietnam vet. 6'6", 75 years old, pencil moustache etc. Well he shook my hand so tightly that my hand-made wedding ring with Celtic motif on sides bit into both small and middle finger. There were black bruise marks for a week after.

Jimmy Iovine

As long as you don't shake a person's hand like Mark Latham did then you'll be fine. He was running for Australian PM in '04 and ruined his chances with this shambles of a handshake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hReBMauqhrY