Women enjoying a drink in the pub alone.

Doc Ruby · 17-06-2012 08:09PM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

how women's valid excuses can suddenly not matter when the guy is attractive enough

This alone tells me you have no idea what you're talking about. There are no excuses, they didn't do anything wrong (unless being unjustifiably nasty but the discussion has moved beyond that), there are only reasons. Like your other example of a hot woman in the street asking for a loan from strangers, there just doesn't seem to be any grasp that the physical side of things means almost nothing. That's why poor oul Brad doesn't matter in this conversation.

VEN · 17-06-2012 08:10PM

Women enjoying a coffee and book in Bewleys alone???

Doc Ruby · 17-06-2012 08:11PM

py2006 wrote: »

It's all well and good saying get over it and move on to the next girl if rejected but reality is different. Normal decent guys can be quite upset not just by a rejection but the nature of a rejection.

Far too often we hear the "grow a pair" response to men's woes!

The kind if guy who doesn't care and moves from girl to girl are usually total tossers!

I remember an 18yr old me (aww) who worked up the courage to talk to a girl I really liked only for her to turn her nose! It basically destroyed me and ruined the night!

Like I said, don't get too invested and you won't get burned. Looks matter not at all in some ways.

VEN · 17-06-2012 08:12PM

py2006 wrote: »

It's all well and good saying get over it and move on to the next girl if rejected but reality is different. Normal decent guys can be quite upset not just by a rejection but the nature of a rejection.

Far too often we hear the "grow a pair" response to men's woes!

The kind if guy who doesn't care and moves from girl to girl are usually total tossers!

so true

Scanlas The 2nd · 17-06-2012 08:13PM

Doc Ruby wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

how women's valid excuses can suddenly not matter when the guy is attractive enough

This alone tells me you have no idea what you're talking about. There are no excuses, they didn't do anything wrong (unless being unjustifiably nasty but the discussion has moved beyond that), there are only reasons. Like your other example of a hot woman in the street asking for a loan from strangers, there just doesn't seem to be any grasp that the physical side of things means almost nothing. That's why poor oul Brad doesn't matter in this conversation.

The excuse of wanting to read a book on her own. That's the excuse, a genuine excuse., but that excuse disappears once the man is attractive enough, and there's nothing wrong with that, she can choose to talk to whoever she wants.

I also never mentioned looks, I said once the guy is attractive enough.

Varied · 17-06-2012 08:14PM

Giselle wrote: »

They don't know you, and you don't know them. How you let their behaviour affect you is partly your responsibility.

That's a great reason to be a **** to the lad. :rolleyes:

A simple "no thanks I'm not interested". Don't be a twat about it.

Eve_Dublin · 17-06-2012 08:18PM

py2006 wrote: »

It's all well and good saying get over it and move on to the next girl if rejected but reality is different. Normal decent guys can be quite upset not just by a rejection but the nature of a rejection.

Far too often we hear the "grow a pair" response to men's woes!

The kind if guy who doesn't care and moves from girl to girl are usually total tossers!

Argentinian men are lovely *swoon*. Far from tosspots, believe me. I've only ever come across this bruised ago stuff in Ireland and by Boards posters. Argie men see it as fun and a bit of a game. If a man is looking for a ride (which, let's face it, that's what many, many men are looking for when they chat a woman up), which is essentially a bit of fun, then why take the chase so seriously? You're not asking a stranger to marry you, so why would you let your confidence get so knocked? It really isn't the end of the world.

Miss Lockhart · 17-06-2012 08:19PM

I understand men being hurt or upset about a nasty rejection. That's a natural reaction.

I understand men being hurt or upset about a rejection from somebody they liked. That's a natural reaction.

I understand feeling their pride is a bit dented after any rejection.

None the less, women still have every right to turn men down or say they're not interested. They're not doing anything wrong and sensitive men will just have to learn to get over it.

Doc Ruby · 17-06-2012 08:21PM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The excuse of wanting to read a book on her own. That's the excuse, a genuine excuse., but that excuse disappears once the man is attractive enough, and there's nothing wrong with that, she can choose to talk to whoever she wants.

Nah you've freudian slipped your way into dubious territory here I'm afraid, at least in the context of the rest of your posts. It doesn't seem to me you genuinely understand what you're talking about. At best you're cherry picking extreme examples to fit your worldview.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I also never mentioned looks, I said once the guy is attractive enough.

Oh yes you did, yes indeed, we had a big long discussion about that over your "sexy versus fat women asking strangers for a loan on the street". You're very much in the looks alone camp.

VEN · 17-06-2012 08:22PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I've only ever come across this bruised ago stuff in Ireland and by Boards posters.

hahahahahahaha you should travel a bit more then

Varied · 17-06-2012 08:24PM

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

I understand men being hurt or upset about a nasty rejection. That's a natural reaction.

I understand men being hurt or upset about a rejection from somebody they liked. That's a natural reaction.

I understand feeling their pride is a bit dented after any rejection.

None the less, women still have every right to turn men down or say they're not interested. They're not doing anything wrong and sensitive men will just have to learn to get over it.

I think you would have to be a wee bit pathetic to take a friendly rejection too badly. Its the rudeness or insulting nature of the rejection is what pisses me off.

Miss Lockhart · 17-06-2012 08:25PM

Varied wrote: »

I think you would have to be a wee bit pathetic to take a friendly rejection too badly. Its the rudeness or insulting nature of the rejection is what pisses me off.

Then there are plenty of pathetic men around!

Scanlas The 2nd · 17-06-2012 08:26PM

Doc Ruby wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The excuse of wanting to read a book on her own. That's the excuse, a genuine excuse., but that excuse disappears once the man is attractive enough, and there's nothing wrong with that, she can choose to talk to whoever she wants.

Nah you've freudian slipped your way into dubious territory here I'm afraid, at least in the context of the rest of your posts. It doesn't seem to me you genuinely understand what you're talking about. At best you're cherry picking extreme examples to fit your worldview.

You've lost me. What do you think my worldview is? Do you disagree with my beliefs below.

Everyone has the right to approach whoever they want.

Everyone has the right to reject whoever they want.

The more attractive a man the less a woman's excuses/objections matter. The same for gender roles switched too.

I think that sums it up.

Varied · 17-06-2012 08:26PM

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

Then there are plenty of pathetic men around!

:rolleyes:

Doc Ruby · 17-06-2012 08:28PM

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The more attractive a man the less a woman's excuses/objections matter.

Hew boy. Thats a bit too freudian for me, I ain't touching it with a bargepole.

Scanlas The 2nd · 17-06-2012 08:28PM

Doc Ruby wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

The excuse of wanting to read a book on her own. That's the excuse, a genuine excuse., but that excuse disappears once the man is attractive enough, and there's nothing wrong with that, she can choose to talk to whoever she wants.

Nah you've freudian slipped your way into dubious territory here I'm afraid, at least in the context of the rest of your posts. It doesn't seem to me you genuinely understand what you're talking about. At best you're cherry picking extreme examples to fit your worldview.

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I also never mentioned looks, I said once the guy is attractive enough.

Oh yes you did, yes indeed, we had a big long discussion about that over your "sexy versus fat women asking strangers for a loan on the street". You're very much in the looks alone camp.

Im talking about this thread, all Insaid was attractive. Looks does increase attractiveness in men but it's far from the whole picture.

Miss Lockhart · 17-06-2012 08:30PM

Varied wrote: »

:rolleyes:

I'm afraid the number of men who have responded to "I'm sorry but I was hoping to spend some time by myself, thanks" (or similar) with abuse ("stuck up bitch", "frigid", "loner" etc etc) is, in my own limited experience, in double figures.

py2006 · 17-06-2012 08:33PM

Giselle wrote: »

py2006 wrote: »

I remember an 18yr old me (aww) who worked up the courage to talk to a girl I really liked only for her to turn her nose! It basically destroyed me and ruined the night!

Crushing as that was, you might do well to work on that for your own sake instead of expecting random girls to be more accepting of your approaches to spare your feelings.

They don't know you, and you don't know them. How you let their behaviour affect you is partly your responsibility.

I'm not expecting anything!!

I'm just recalling an incident some years ago. Some guys have feelings is all! :-)

Eve_Dublin · 17-06-2012 08:34PM

VEN wrote: »

hahahahahahaha you should travel a bit more then

I've travelled a fair bit already and to countries where men have no qualms about chatting up women and taking rejection on the chin....mainly Latin cultures.

Eve_Dublin · 17-06-2012 08:36PM

py2006 wrote: »

I'm not expecting anything!!

I'm just recalling an incident some years ago. Some guys have feelings is all! :-)

Can I ask you Py2006....did you try and read clues on whether the woman was open to being approached or not instead of just approaching the woman purely because of her looks?

Varied · 17-06-2012 08:37PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I've travelled a fair bit already and to countries where men have no qualms about chatting up women and taking rejection on the chin....mainly Latin cultures.

Can we swap the Irish women for the Latin wans then?!?!

:pac::pac:

I joke I joke.

py2006 · 17-06-2012 08:42PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

py2006 wrote: »

It's all well and good saying get over it and move on to the next girl if rejected but reality is different. Normal decent guys can be quite upset not just by a rejection but the nature of a rejection.

Far too often we hear the "grow a pair" response to men's woes!

The kind if guy who doesn't care and moves from girl to girl are usually total tossers!

Argentinian men are lovely *swoon*. Far from tosspots, believe me. I've only ever come across this bruised ago stuff in Ireland and by Boards posters. Argie men see it as fun and a bit of a game. If a man is looking for a ride (which, let's face it, that's what many, many men are looking for when they chat a woman up), which is essentially a bit of fun, then why take the chase so seriously? You're not asking a stranger to marry you, so why would you let your confidence get so knocked? It really isn't the end of the world.

I agree to a certain extent. On paper, if a
girl is a total bitch to you because she doesn't find you attractive you should be able to shrug your shoulders.

The example of the 18yr old me wasnt about chasing sex from a strange girl. I knew of her and liked her from a far.

Not all guys jump from girl to girl looking for a one night stand. The 'bad guys' (as they call them). Funny how a lot of girls go for them too!

skylight1987 · 17-06-2012 08:44PM

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Hi Skylight, it wasn't only your comment that caused me to start this thread, my curiosity had already been piqued, and your comment just gave me the final shove to start a thread about it.

I don't think women who aren't comfortable to go to bars alone are conceited, I understand it's not about thinking you're god's gift but more to do with comfort levels and having had experiences you (not you, specifically) don't care to repeat.

However, your comment that nature decides who can drink alone and who can't isn't fair or true. I'm an attractive woman (hard to find a way to say that without sounding full of yourself) so nature hasn't decreed I can't go to a bar alone. Men do sometimes talk to me, but they don't hassle me. Perhaps that's the real difference here - the places I go and the type of men that drink there. I don't know for sure, just trying to see if I can get a better understanding, that's all.

of course i was only messing about the nature thing and then felt bad about the post so deleted it , you know how after a glass of wine at home (not in a bar )things seem very witty when your typing them but offensive when you reread them

Fizzlesque · 17-06-2012 08:46PM

skylight1987 wrote: »

of course i was only messing about the nature thing and then felt bad about the post so deleted it , you know how after a glass of wine at home (not in a bar )things seem very witty when your typing them but offensive when you reread them

I do indeed

Sorry for reposting your original post so. Do you want me to delete it?

Eve_Dublin · 17-06-2012 08:50PM

Varied wrote: »

Can we swap the Irish women for the Latin wans then?!?!

:pac::pac:

I joke I joke.

Believe me when I say, they can reject a man like no other...so of course you can if you can handle it

VEN · 17-06-2012 08:51PM

its all too complex and not worth it

skylight1987 · 17-06-2012 08:53PM

Fizzlesque wrote: »

I do indeed

Sorry for reposting your original post so. Do you want me to delete it?

yes please , thanks

Eve_Dublin · 17-06-2012 08:55PM

py2006 wrote: »

I agree to a certain extent. On paper, if a
girl is a total bitch to you because she doesn't find you attractive you should be able to shrug your shoulders.

The example of the 18yr old me wasnt about chasing sex from a strange girl. I knew of her and liked her from a far.

Not all guys jump from girl to girl looking for a one night stand. The 'bad guys' (as they call them). Funny how a lot of girls go for them too!

I never said ALL guys. Nothing wrong with chatting up someone for sex though....nothing bad about it but it should be seen as a bit of fun and not taken so personally when a girl rejects you. She didn't fancy you. Big swing. You can't win them all....

So the 18yr old rejected you in a nasty way? Did she seem open to your advances? Also....18. People grow up and get some sense. I'd never compare how I treated people then to how I treat them now at 32 years of age. I was never a total bitch but my attitude has changed a lot in 14 years.

VEN · 17-06-2012 08:56PM

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I've travelled a fair bit already and to countries where men have no qualms about chatting up women and taking rejection on the chin....mainly Latin cultures.

they're not exactly loyal though, i hear promiscuity is rife in these parts. shocking in fact. not for mise, better to be safe than sorry and all that

Fizzlesque · 17-06-2012 08:56PM

skylight1987 wrote: »

yes please , thanks

Done

Women enjoying a drink in the pub alone.

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