Women enjoying a drink in the pub alone.

Fizzlesque

Yet another poster, on the 'does anyone wish they were born a woman' thread, has said she'd love to be able to go to the pub and enjoy a drink on her own, but won't ever do it because men will think she's up for being chatted up.

I've never had any problem having a drink in a pub on my own, reading the paper, or my book or just daydreaming and minding my own business. If I'm meeting a friend, and I get to the pub much earlier than them, I'd get a drink and wait for them, so the same applies if I fancy a pint alone, as one sometimes does.

Perhaps it depends on the pub. Pubs that serve food sometimes have women on their own having a meal, and maybe a glass of wine. Or a coffee in a pub. I find it difficult to believe women are being hit on all the time just because they're having a drink alone.

Reading about all these women who are afraid to go to the pub alone, for fear of men approaching them completely baffles me, and it makes men sound like they're incapable of being in a woman's company without hitting on her, which, quite simply, I don't accept is true.

So, as a man, would you think a woman in a pub alone is automatically up for being chatted up?

As a woman, would you feel comfortable enjoying a drink in a pub alone?

Have you tried it and had to stop because men just can't help falling at your feet every time :P

xzanti

I love to go for lunch by myself, get myself a magazine and munch away I'm a very independent person and I'm very comfortable with my own company..

But I draw the line at drinking alone in a bar... I'm sorry but if I saw a woman drinking alone in a bar I would judge her..

The words "do you come here often" spring to mind.

jaja321

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Yet another poster, on the 'does anyone wish they were born a woman' thread, has said she'd love to be able to go to the pub and enjoy a drink on her own, but won't ever do it because men will think she's up for being chatted up.

I've never had any problem having a drink in a pub on my own, reading the paper, or my book or just daydreaming and minding my own business. If I'm meeting a friend, and I get to the pub much earlier than them, I'd get a drink and wait for them, so the same applies if I fancy a pint alone, as one sometimes does.

Perhaps it depends on the pub. Pubs that serve food sometimes have women on their own having a meal, and maybe a glass of wine. Or a coffee in a pub. I find it difficult to believe women are being hit on all the time just because they're having a drink alone.

Reading about all these women who are afraid to go to the pub alone, for fear of men approaching them completely baffles me, and it makes men sound like they're incapable of being in a woman's company without hitting on her, which, quite simply, I don't accept is true.

So, as a man, would you think a woman in a pub alone is automatically up for being chatted up?

As a woman, would you feel comfortable enjoying a drink in a pub alone?

Have you tried it and had to stop because men just can't help falling at your feet every time :P

Go for a drink on my own from time to time, have never been bothered. Quite enjoy it actually.

shizz

Why drink in the pub, when you could enjoy one in the kitchen

mattjack

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Yet another poster, on the 'does anyone wish they were born a woman' thread, has said she'd love to be able to go to the pub and enjoy a drink on her own, but won't ever do it because men will think she's up for being chatted up.

I've never had any problem having a drink in a pub on my own, reading the paper, or my book or just daydreaming and minding my own business. If I'm meeting a friend, and I get to the pub much earlier than them, I'd get a drink and wait for them, so the same applies if I fancy a pint alone, as one sometimes does.

Perhaps it depends on the pub. Pubs that serve food sometimes have women on their own having a meal, and maybe a glass of wine. Or a coffee in a pub. I find it difficult to believe women are being hit on all the time just because they're having a drink alone.

Reading about all these women who are afraid to go to the pub alone, for fear of men approaching them completely baffles me, and it makes men sound like they're incapable of being in a woman's company without hitting on her, which, quite simply, I don't accept is true.

So, as a man, would you think a woman in a pub alone is automatically up for being chatted up?

As a woman, would you feel comfortable enjoying a drink in a pub alone?

Have you tried it and had to stop because men just can't help falling at your feet every time :P

Anyone sitting with you ?

BadGirl

I travel a lot with work and would spend most evenings on my own.
I would rather eat and have a couple of drinks with food as opposed to going to a bar (especially a busy one) on my own.
I would normally have my book with me too.

Maybe i'm just puck ugly, but have never been 'chatted up' while alone in a pub/restaurant

ziggy23

Happened to me the other night a friend of mine stood me up so I said feck it I'm having a drink. I'm not gorgeous or anything but I think a woman standing on her own must send out a signal to men! The amount of men that came over to me way more than if I was with a friend.

xzanti

Oh I must add.. I would however have a drink in an airport alone.. that is the only exception tbh..

Fizzlesque

shizz wrote: »

Why drink in the pub, when you could enjoy one in the kitchen

It's good to get out of the house sometimes

Seriously though, sometimes you might be out and about doing stuff, fancy a pint/glass of wine or have plans to meet someone in an hour or two and have time to kill and a good book to read.

Also, sometimes it's just nice to be around people without actually being in their company or having to talk or listen to anyone.

BadGirl

Fizzlesque wrote: »

It's good to get out of the house sometimes

Seriously though, sometimes you might be out and about doing stuff, fancy a pint/glass of wine or have plans to meet someone in an hour or two and have time to kill and a good book to read.

Also, sometimes it's just nice to be around people without actually being in their company or having to talk or listen to anyone.

This.
LOVE sitting back and watching the world go by....

Fizzlesque

ziggy23 wrote: »

Happened to me the other night a friend of mine stood me up so I said feck it I'm having a drink. I'm not gorgeous or anything but I think a woman standing on her own must send out a signal to men! The amount of men that came over to me way more than if I was with a friend.

What kind of bar was it, ziggy?

I think a busy bar on a Friday night may be more likely to make men try to talk to a woman on her own. Especially if it was the kind of bar that by the end of the night people were dancing and hooking up.

flutterflye

I've never done it.
It's not something that would ever occur to me to do.
Can't imagine why you would want to tbh.

Pantsface

If I'm early to meet someone, no bother to me to head for a drink, always have a paper/mag/book with me however. Nice way to spend an hour. Wouldn't head out for a night in the pub on my own though!

policarp

Women drinking in a pub should do so in the snug. . .

Local-womanizer

BadGirl wrote: »

This.
LOVE sitting back and watching the world go by....

So your that weirdo that keeps staring! :pac:

But yea,I love sitting about town on my own at times too, having lunch and just having a good nosey at things.

Little My

No reason why not, it's really no different to sitting down and having a coffee on your own in a cafe.

If its a locally type place and it's busy you will probably just end up talking to people anyway. If its quiet then anyone else there is probably just enjoying a quiet drink too and will leave you alone.

Its also nice if you can sit outside, have a pint, and people watch. If you have time to kill its much better than going inside for a coffee.

However, it might be different if you were out on a Friday night on your own, downing drinks in a crowded pub full of groups of people.

tan11ie

It's impossible to enjoy a drink alone some men seem to think you're waiting to be picked up.I tend to wait outside the pub now if friends are running late.

D1stant

policarp wrote: »

Women drinking in a pub should do so in the snug. . .

And only if its air tight. The waft of perfume ruins the pint. So it does

mauzo

7 of my friends all work in 2 pubs across the road from each other.

Most weekends me and another girl would go about a half hour before they are off and start drinking, the others that are off later would join after.

I dont think theres ever been a time in either pub when men havent come over to talk to us when its just the 2 of us.

Sometimes its just to ask for a lighter, they'll sit with us, have their smoke and go. Other times they offer to buy us drinks, we decline, have a chat and they leave.

Sometimes they would just come straight over and ask us for our number, to go to a club with them or just sit with us and not leave!!!

I've done it a few times while waiting for mates and when I got locked out of my flat and it's always awkward and uncomfortable. Even if I don't get approached, people do stare. I don't see why anyone (especially a woman) would judge for sitting having a pint/glass of wine and reading the paper, but I think a lot of men do think woman on her own in a pub = fair game for harassment.

Gummy Panda

Just because a woman is drinking on her own doesn't make me think she wants to be approached. Now if she did a basic instinct leg cross at me, I'd be straight over.

Princess Peach

Hmmm I never have, but now I kinda want to! Been at lunch time alright, but always for food. I was downtown last Saturday around 6 o'clock alone, and the pubs were pretty lively looking and I wanted a drink, but I was nervous. Not of men coming onto me, but of looking weird and lonerish. I wouldn't go to a restaurant alone in the evening either.

Maybe I'll take this on as a challenge! If I get harassed, at least I'll know I'm looking well :pac:

syndeyfife

syndeyfife wrote: »

7 of my friends all work in 2 pubs across the road from each other.

Most weekends me and another girl would go about a half hour before they are off and start drinking, the others that are off later would join after.

I dont think theres ever been a time in either pub when men havent come over to talk to us when its just the 2 of us.

Sometimes its just to ask for a lighter, they'll sit with us, have their smoke and go. Other times they offer to buy us drinks, we decline, have a chat and they leave.

Sometimes they would just come straight over and ask us for our number, to go to a club with them or just sit with us and not leave!!!

That's true. When I go out with one or two other girls, we almost always get bothered. It really annoys me that so many men think we're there to get picked up or even assume that we want to chat to random strangers. I want to go out and catch up with my mates and spend time with them, not fend off drunken idiots. If you politely ask them to leave you alone, they often get aggressive as well. We've been driven out of pubs by groups of men who sat down at the table and wouldn't leave.

sunflower27

xzanti wrote: »

But I draw the line at drinking alone in a bar... I'm sorry but if I saw a woman drinking alone in a bar I would judge her..

The words "do you come here often" spring to mind.

Seriously?

I think that is insane I have enjoyed many a drink on my own with a paper, book, while waiting for a friend, bus, whatever.

No way in a million years would I judge someone for doing something as basic as enjoying a drink on their own.

staker

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Also, sometimes it's just nice to be around people without actually being in their company or having to talk or listen to anyone.

I dunno, going to a pub to be on your own kinda defeats the purpose. I understand whta you mean and I enjoy it too sometimes but I go to the pub to socialise. Isn't that what cafe/bars,hotels and wine bars are for?

yizorselves

They're gonna get it, and they dont even know it!

tan11ie

Madilynn Gentle Narcotic wrote: »

That's true. When I go out with one or two other girls, we almost always get bothered. It really annoys me that so many men think we're there to get picked up or even assume that we want to chat to random strangers. I want to go out and catch up with my mates and spend time with them, not fend off drunken idiots. If you politely ask them to leave you alone, they often get aggressive as well. We've been driven out of pubs by groups of men who sat down at the table and wouldn't leave.

What's with that!! It's really annoying.

tan11ie

tan11ie wrote: »

What's with that!! It's really annoying.

Arrogance. They think because you're there, they have the right to speak to you even though they don't know you at all. I've had people tell me I should stay at home if I don't want to socialise. As if going out to soak up the atmosphere and enjoy the company of your friends isn't acceptable.

tan11ie

Madilynn Gentle Narcotic wrote: »

Arrogance. They think because you're there, they have the right to speak to you even though they don't know you at all. I've had people tell me I should stay at home if I don't want to socialise. As if going out to soak up the atmosphere and enjoy the company of your friends isn't acceptable.

Two guys had to be dragged from a pub by bouncers because of this carry on!! ass holes!

Stheno

sunflower27 wrote: »

Seriously?

I think that is insane I have enjoyed many a drink on my own with a paper, book, while waiting for a friend, bus, whatever.

No way in a million years would I judge someone for doing something as basic as enjoying a drink on their own.

I'd be the same, I travel a lot with work, and there is nothing better than to head down at the end of the day be it to have a coffee or a drink, and just sit there and watch the world go by, read a book, whatever.

Here at home, I quite enjoy going in and sitting down for half an hour to chill out, or going to watch a sporting event on my own.

I've often found that if I go out to watch the golf/rugby, even if the OH who has no interest, is with me, that I end up chatting to other fans anyway.

Never ever felt harrassed by men, I might appear standoffish, or be pig ugly, or maybe it's the bars I'm in, I judge a bar on the basis that if I feel comfortable going in alone, I'll go there

Eve_Dublin

xzanti wrote: »

I love to go for lunch by myself, get myself a magazine and munch away I'm a very independent person and I'm very comfortable with my own company..

But I draw the line at drinking alone in a bar... I'm sorry but if I saw a woman drinking alone in a bar I would judge her..

The words "do you come here often" spring to mind.

I'm really surprised you feel that way, actually. Wouldn't have thought you'd think like that but there ye go! Entitled to your opinion, of course.

I do it during the day quite often here and it's really not the done thing. Women and men don't even have a coffee in the daytime alone here, but I don't care.

I've done it in Dublin too and I'd actually welcome the conversation with a randomer. I like talking with strangers. Usually go to the bars where I know I won't be sleazed on. You have to choose your bar carefully...

bb1234567

Fizzlesque wrote: »

Yet another poster, on the 'does anyone wish they were born a woman' thread, has said she'd love to be able to go to the pub and enjoy a drink on her own, but won't ever do it because men will think she's up for being chatted up.

I've never had any problem having a drink in a pub on my own, reading the paper, or my book or just daydreaming and minding my own business. If I'm meeting a friend, and I get to the pub much earlier than them, I'd get a drink and wait for them, so the same applies if I fancy a pint alone, as one sometimes does.

Perhaps it depends on the pub. Pubs that serve food sometimes have women on their own having a meal, and maybe a glass of wine. Or a coffee in a pub. I find it difficult to believe women are being hit on all the time just because they're having a drink alone.

Reading about all these women who are afraid to go to the pub alone, for fear of men approaching them completely baffles me, and it makes men sound like they're incapable of being in a woman's company without hitting on her, which, quite simply, I don't accept is true.

So, as a man, would you think a woman in a pub alone is automatically up for being chatted up?

As a woman, would you feel comfortable enjoying a drink in a pub alone?

Have you tried it and had to stop because men just can't help falling at your feet every time :P

Maybe youre just ugly?:P

Fizzlesque

bb1234567 wrote: »

Maybe youre just ugly?:P

No, I'm not ugly.

Fizzlesque

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I've done it in Dublin too and I'd actually welcome the conversation with a randomer. I like talking with strangers. Usually go to the bars where I know I won't be sleazed on. You have to choose your bar carefully...

Same here. I'm quite a friendly approachable person, and end up having conversations with people I don't know in lots of situations, and often do enjoy a conversation with a randomer in a pub, but I don't view it as being chatted up/hit on. As you say, you have to choose your bar carefully. There are a few bars in particular I'd have no problem going to to have a pint and do the crossword/read a book, but there are other bars I'd steer clear of.

validusername1

Well the woman who said that must be pretty conceited!

I'm a girl, I wouldn't go to the pub and have a drink by myself but that's because I'd just feel awkward, not 'cause I'd be afraid of men hitting on me. If I'm out at clubs though and lose my friends so I'm on my own, guys do tend to approach a bit more. I guess it's less intimidating for them approaching a girl on her own rather than if she's with a group of friends. But either way, it's so conceited to believe that you can't even go for a drink on your own without thinking men are gonna bombard you cause you're just that hot.

mauzo

validusername1 wrote: »

Well the woman who said that must be pretty conceited!

I'm a girl, I wouldn't go to the pub and have a drink by myself but that's because I'd just feel awkward, not 'cause I'd be afraid of men hitting on me. If I'm out at clubs though and lose my friends so I'm on my own, guys do tend to approach a bit more. I guess it's less intimidating for them approaching a girl on her own rather than if she's with a group of friends. But either way, it's so conceited to believe that you can't even go for a drink on your own without thinking men are gonna bombard you cause you're just that hot.

I dont think so. Like I said, whenever its me and another girl we have always been hit on. So with those experiences I just wouldnt put myself in the situation to have it happen to me alone. Its not conceited, some of these men would chat up a bar stool.

Saying you arent interested or you'd prefer them not to sit down, does anger them a lot of the time. They seem to think they have every right to sit down and talk to you. By all means sit down, but dont ask me to go to a nightclub, and then get aggressive when i wont go.

Conceited, no. Cautious because of experience, yes!

validusername1

syndeyfife wrote: »

I dont think so. Like I said, whenever its me and another girl we have always been hit on. So with those experiences I just wouldnt put myself in the situation to have it happen to me alone. Its not conceited, some of these men would chat up a bar stool.

Saying you arent interested or you'd prefer them not to sit down, does anger them a lot of the time. They seem to think they have every right to sit down and talk to you. By all means sit down, but dont ask me to go to a nightclub, and then get aggressive when i wont go.

Conceited, no. Cautious because of experience, yes!

Well I guess it's just difference of opinion then, I just wouldn't assume that if I'm going to a bar alone that I won't get left alone 'cause all the men will want me

tan11ie

validusername1 wrote: »

Well I guess it's just difference of opinion then, I just wouldn't assume that if I'm going to a bar alone that I won't get left alone 'cause all the men will want me

And I doubt there are many that think that tbh! most would be thinking they just don't need the hassle of some arse-wipe that just won't leave you alone.

I was put in a very scary situation at one point ...but it's not something I would go into on here..

du Maurier

Madilynn Gentle Narcotic wrote: »

That's true. When I go out with one or two other girls, we almost always get bothered. It really annoys me that so many men think we're there to get picked up or even assume that we want to chat to random strangers. I want to go out and catch up with my mates and spend time with them, not fend off drunken idiots. If you politely ask them to leave you alone, they often get aggressive as well. We've been driven out of pubs by groups of men who sat down at the table and wouldn't leave.

This isn't about going out with the girls, this thread.

Sorry that you almost always get bothered.

I would have thought when you go out people do tend to chat to others - random strangers, as you put it. Surely that's what they are initially.

This isn't the drunken idiots type of situation the OP is referring to.

Of course people always ask them politely to desist from the pawing their prey:pac:

validusername1

validusername1 wrote: »

Well the woman who said that must be pretty conceited!

I'm a girl, I wouldn't go to the pub and have a drink by myself but that's because I'd just feel awkward, not 'cause I'd be afraid of men hitting on me. If I'm out at clubs though and lose my friends so I'm on my own, guys do tend to approach a bit more. I guess it's less intimidating for them approaching a girl on her own rather than if she's with a group of friends. But either way, it's so conceited to believe that you can't even go for a drink on your own without thinking men are gonna bombard you cause you're just that hot.

And this is exactly what men who bother girls on their own say. 'Ah, you're so up yourself, sure I'm only trying to have a nice chat with ya.' We're not bloody idiots. I can tell the difference. I don't even mind strangers talking to me, but when I give the signal that I'd prefer to be left alone, I expect to be left alone. I don't have any obligation to talk to anybody, but a lot of guys don't seem to understand that.

And I'm not talking about what 'would' happen. I've never once sat in a bar with a drink on my own and not been chatted up or leered at. It even happens even when I'm out with my boyfriend and he's at the bar or the toilet. I guess I must be really hot then. :rolleyes:

Richard Hillman

I would never approach an unknown female in a pub full stop but definitely not a female on her own. If people are on their own its usually for a reason i.e they want to be alone. When i go to the boozer on my own to watch a match or kill time or whatever, I dont appreciate people chatting to me although im always polite and nod or whatever. It definitely must be a right pain for females who just want a bit of alone time only to be bothered by "de ladz havin d craic" :rolleyes: wanting to have sex with her.

Im genuinely embarrassed to be a male at times

Scanlas The 2nd

Richard Hillman wrote: »

I would never approach an unknown female a pub full stop but definitely not a female on her own. If people are on their own its usually for a reason i.e they want to be alone. When i go to the boozer on my own to watch a match or kill time or whatever, I dont appreciate people chatting to me although im always polite and nod or whatever. It definitely must be a right pain for females who just want a bit of alone time only to be bothered by "de ladz havin d craic" :rolleyes: wanting to have sex with her.

Im genuinely embarrassed to a male at times

So the only women you can be with are the ones in your social circle. It seems ridiculous to rule out 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of women.

Unless of course it's just the pub, if you approach them on the street then ignore above.

Halloran springs

shizz wrote: »

Why drink in the pub, when you could enjoy one in the kitchen

Or in the shower ?

thefinalstage

Richard Hillman wrote: »

I would never approach an unknown female a pub full stop but definitely not a female on her own. If people are on their own its usually for a reason i.e they want to be alone. When i go to the boozer on my own to watch a match or kill time or whatever, I dont appreciate people chatting to me although im always polite and nod or whatever. It definitely must be a right pain for females who just want a bit of alone time only to be bothered by "de ladz havin d craic" :rolleyes: wanting to have sex with her.

Im genuinely embarrassed to a male at times

Ahahahah. Being a white night won't get you love nor sex. It will however leave you wondering why all the girls you like go for the other guy .

Having a coherent conversation with a new person, be they male or female in a pub is always good fun. You don't know, you may find the love of your life or a new best friend.

Scanlas The 2nd

If you are attractive enough, witty, charming it doesn't matter if a single woman only went to the pub to read etc. she'll change her mind.

Richard Hillman

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

So the only women you can be with are the ones in your social circle. It seems ridiculous to rule out 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of women.

Unless of course it's just the pub, if you approach them on the street then ignore above.

Ive said it before here, i treat women in pubs/nightclubs etc as in they dont want to be bothered and just want to spend time with their circle of friends. It tends to my attitude as well, i like to keep to my own circle. I go out of my way to avoid the awkwardness of being around strangers

Jogathon

I would happily have lunch on my own and a bite to eat even at 6 on my own. I would happily have a coffee during the day-time on my own. I would gladly have a drink on my own in a hotel that I was staying in, or in an airport at anytime in the night.
However, if I was bored at home and wanted to get out for a little while, I would not go down to the pub and have a quiet glass of wine (like men often do). When I am meeting up with some friends, I am generally more punctual than them so sit in busy pubs on a Fri/Sat night for 10-15 mins on my own. Very rarely am I allowed to sit in peace. This is not a mark of how vain/self obsessed I am, but just my observations.
One other poster also mentioned that guys cannot take a hint and leave me alone. It's me with the problem (sarcasm!!)- I'm chatty and friendly, but that's not an open invitation a) into my knickers and b) that you can sit down and interrupt my night for the whole time. Also, guys do tend to get nasty if you are straight up with them - saying politely that you'd like to be left alone. So it's easier to chat then when the girls come in make eyes at them so we move pubs before they order a drink. This is my experience, so it's valid even if other posters don't believe it, or think that I'm totally in love with myself. (I do scrub up well - can reach 8 sometimes but generally a 7 ;-))

Callan57

policarp wrote: »

Women drinking in a pub should do so in the snug. . .

Ah God be with the Good Old Day's eh? :D:D:D:D:D

stovelid

Alco men-hating lezzers, tbh

Scanlas The 2nd

Richard Hillman wrote: »

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

So the only women you can be with are the ones in your social circle. It seems ridiculous to rule out 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of women.

Unless of course it's just the pub, if you approach them on the street then ignore above.

Ive said it before here, i treat women in pubs/nightclubs etc as in they dont want to be bothered and just want to spend time with their circle of friends. It tends to my attitude as well, i like to keep to my own circle. I go out of my way to avoid the awkwardness of being around strangers

Fair enough, but you're missing out on the fun of meeting women you know nothing about.

ABajaninCork

Before I got married, I'd often have dinner alone in a restaurant. And I've done the drinks alone thing too! Personally I have no problem having a drink on my own, and I wouldn't judge any woman who did so. But this was in London where a woman drinking or eating out on her own isn't unusual.

Sometimes, men tried to chat me up. But I'd then put on my ****-off face, and they'd leave me alone. Sometimes I might talk to anyone who came over. Depended on my mood really...:p

On one occasion, I even had drinks sent over for me. But that was in the 80's before the advent of Rohypnol! :eek: