Wedding loans

bigneacy · 10-06-2012 01:09AM

scobi wrote: »

Have about 5k save but wedding will probably cost close to 25k

Regards

Look, I don't mean to be cruel, but here goes. It's not 2007 anymore, we are as close to bankrupt as a nation as we can get. If you only have 5000 saved, then thats all you can afford. Burdening yourself with 20000 debt to have a wedding like the cousins/workmates etc. is pure silliness. Take the 5k and either have a registry office & small reception with close family or take it and elope (dream holiday + tying the knot = lifelong memories)

You simply can't afford the ridiculous "big fat Irish wedding" with 300 guests and the chocolate fountain and the overpriced band. Just because all your friends and aunties say you have to, doesn't actually mean you have to.

Senna · 10-06-2012 02:23AM

I don't think any amount of warning posts on there are going to make the op change her mind.

Its your life, your decision and your money, hope you have a great wedding.

finbarrk · 10-06-2012 02:31AM

Senna wrote: »

I don't think any amount of warning posts on there are going to make the op change her mind.

Its your life, your decision and your money, hope you have a great wedding.

I have just come across this. I can't believe how anyone could think about borrowing money to get married. The mind boggles.

hoodwinked · 10-06-2012 08:14AM

scobi wrote: »

Had more money save but family emergency more or less wipe it out.

Started tread to see which would be better to try and get a loan off bank or credit union and people are giving it loads about it been too much and that those days are gone and to cut this and cut that.

I know everyone is trying to help and mean well and all advice is been read and listen to.

Will have the money in couple of years paid back

Have you tried to get this money yet op? again re-iterating im not sure if a bank or credit union will give it out,

make sure you have a back up plan where you won't need the money just in case they don't lend it!

tatli_lokma · 11-06-2012 09:04AM

scobi wrote: »

Had more money save but family emergency more or less wipe it out.

........

Will have the money in couple of years paid back

I find this quite baffling.

You plan for your wedding for a year or so, save money and in the blink of an eye a family emergency happens and it has wiped your savings. And yet, despite this, you have not learned a lesson from it. You feel confident that in 2 years you will have €20000 paid back. Can you not see how silly this is? All it will take is one more emergency, and you will be seriously screwed. NO ONE can be certain they can pay back that kind of money in 2 years - not with the way jobs are for people. If you can afford €1000 a month, then why not postpone the wedding 18mths?

Best of luck getting a lending institution to give you €20k, especially when they ask what you have in savings and discover you can only manage €5k.

However, as another poster said, I fear that you are hell bent on this course of action and won't be told otherwise.

Edit to add - I also notice that OP is reluctant to list where the costs are in the wedding - perhaps because they know in their heart of hearts that much of it is unneccessary but doesn't want to admit to where their spending is frivilous. Seems they want all the bells and whistles and to hell with the cost or consequences. :rolleyes:

Zulu · 11-06-2012 09:22AM

Sadly, I think the key point you are missing is that:
the family emergency wiped out your wedding, not your savings.

It's madness to try and proceed like nothing has happened. You are 20K short - thats a deposit on a family home. If you are thinking of having a family in the next decade, then you won't want to be paying for a party. This is a party you are paying for. And you can't afford it. (Sadly due to circumstance)

If you have your mind made up, and it sounds like you do, there's nothing anyone here can say to help you really. No one is going to give you a €20K loan with no security. If it was a car, or a house, at least the bank/union would have an asset, but with a wedding there's nothing.

And one last thing - you WILL NOT make up the difference with gifts. If you think you are going to get a gift/money from everyone you're in for a rude awakening.

Seriously: best of luck, I've a feeling you'll need it.

tatli_lokma · 11-06-2012 10:06AM

OP should ask themselves, which do I want more...the big wedding or to get married.

If its the big wedding you desperately want, then postpone, save for another year or so and have the big wedding you want. You won't have to compromise on all the things you really want on the day.

If you want to be marrried and this is why you don't want to postpone, then scale down, have a smaller affair.

Harsh reality is, with €5k saved you can't have both a big wedding and have it in 2 mths. Its one or the other I'm afraid.

SmilingLurker · 11-06-2012 03:55PM

scobi wrote: »

Have about 5k save but wedding will probably cost close to 25k.

Congratulations on deciding to get married, I wish you well. I am married over a year now, and that seems like a lot of money. If you have it, yes, enjoy spending it. But taking out loans when you don't have a lot saved is worrying.

Remember marriage is for a long time (hopefully life), a wedding is for a day (or a few days in some cases). Keep some of your money for being married. All a wedding needs to cost is €150 (registry office). Everything else is additional.

Back to the question, talk to your local Credit Union, bank and figure out the interest rate each institution will charge. Look at the repayments required, and add additional couple of percent for interest rate rises. See if you can afford this amount.

The money advice bureau (MABS.ie) might be able to help - be careful about getting into debt! Have a great day and good luck.

wildflower · 12-06-2012 11:33AM

OP no one here knows ue financial history, i think u need to go to bank and credit union asap and find out what they will give you and at what cost and for how long. then u need to decide how long you want to be in debt for- personally i wouldnt like to b in much debt for long after my wedding. imo 2 yrs is too long to repay as you dont know what will happen in that time. 6 mths is more realistic, how much can u afford to pay back in that timeframe. then look again at how much u can afford to pay each supplier, then phone all and ask for better offer- if they cannot lower price then cut them or if u want them badly cut something else to afford it. u will have to make some tough calls but u will regret putting ur life on hold for 2 yrs to pay for all these extras that no one will notice but u!
i am getting married this yr and we are having a 23k wedding so i know the pressure you are under but we are getting a gift from parents- we have a massive guest list and are cutting extras.
13.5k venue
3k band (doing church, band and disco)
1k magician
1.5k dress
1.5k bridal party and groom
500 flowers + decor
1k photograper
1k extras- dont know what they are yet but they wil pop up
no video
no honeymoon
no cars
suits, shoes and dresses are gifts for bridal party
friend doing invites
im making cake
im doing brooch bouquets

paying for lots just out of wages so we will have less to get loan for but saving into credit union every mth and have discussed borrowing 8k from them in 6mths for the wedding.

we have paid 3k on deposits, my dress, decor etc already. we will have 4k in savings,our parents giving us 10k. that leaves us about 7k to get as loan which with 300 guests we are hoping we might get back in some gifts but we are not banking on so we an afford to pay it back in a few mths- but we will be skint while we are paying it back quickly- not an ideal way to start married life! we were even discussing this week will we cut the hotel meals back a bit as now we are having top of the range service- champers and steak, cud save 1.5k just by switching to salmon and beef, and we cud cut another 2k by dropping guest list by 50 people- and we are def considering these and have spoken to hotel who said we have to decide within 6 weeks of wedding before they order in the supplies.

you really need to get more organised and contact suppliers and banks, have u discussed ur situation with ur parents, bridal party, siblings, are they in a position to help out with one or two suppliers in lieu of a gift? if ur desperate to have a dream wedding then u need to get the finger out and get working on how you can do alot of it yourself.

we are v lucky our parents are being so genourous but if they werent we wud have had a much smaller wedding. our parents are basically paying for their guests meals- which we dont mind- the more the merrrier!

POKERKING · 12-06-2012 02:44PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I find that strange (I'm a photographer, so my post may have some bias, I suppose?).

...........

It's a tricky situation you're in at the moment, and I don't envy you, but I'm sure it'll work out. If you do end up getting the money and going ahead with the 25K wedding, do us all a favour and make sure you thoroughly enjoy every last minute of it!

Off topic, but im only recently married(less than a year) and video is far more important than the pics to me, infact(and this might sound ridiculus) we are yet to even get the album printed despite paying for an album already(we have some individual pics printed), we have seen the disk but havent gotten around to picking which ones while we have watched the video close to ten times and cherish that far more than the pics. Could be a personal thing though.

padd b1975 · 13-06-2012 08:50AM

wildflower wrote: »

OP no one here knows ue financial history, i think u need to go to bank and credit union asap and find out what they will give you and at what cost and for how long. then u need to decide how long you want to be in debt for- personally i wouldnt like to b in much debt for long after my wedding. imo 2 yrs is too long to repay as you dont know what will happen in that time. 6 mths is more realistic, how much can u afford to pay back in that timeframe. then look again at how much u can afford to pay each supplier, then phone all and ask for better offer- if they cannot lower price then cut them or if u want them badly cut something else to afford it. u will have to make some tough calls but u will regret putting ur life on hold for 2 yrs to pay for all these extras that no one will notice but u!
i am getting married this yr and we are having a 23k wedding so i know the pressure you are under but we are getting a gift from parents- we have a massive guest list and are cutting extras.
13.5k venue
3k band (doing church, band and disco)
1k magician
1.5k dress
1.5k bridal party and groom
500 flowers + decor
1k photograper
1k extras- dont know what they are yet but they wil pop up
no video
no honeymoon
no cars
suits, shoes and dresses are gifts for bridal party
friend doing invites
im making cake
im doing brooch bouquets

paying for lots just out of wages so we will have less to get loan for but saving into credit union every mth and have discussed borrowing 8k from them in 6mths for the wedding.

we have paid 3k on deposits, my dress, decor etc already. we will have 4k in savings,our parents giving us 10k. that leaves us about 7k to get as loan which with 300 guests we are hoping we might get back in some gifts but we are not banking on so we an afford to pay it back in a few mths- but we will be skint while we are paying it back quickly- not an ideal way to start married life! we were even discussing this week will we cut the hotel meals back a bit as now we are having top of the range service- champers and steak, cud save 1.5k just by switching to salmon and beef, and we cud cut another 2k by dropping guest list by 50 people- and we are def considering these and have spoken to hotel who said we have to decide within 6 weeks of wedding before they order in the supplies.

you really need to get more organised and contact suppliers and banks, have u discussed ur situation with ur parents, bridal party, siblings, are they in a position to help out with one or two suppliers in lieu of a gift? if ur desperate to have a dream wedding then u need to get the finger out and get working on how you can do alot of it yourself.

we are v lucky our parents are being so genourous but if they werent we wud have had a much smaller wedding. our parents are basically paying for their guests meals- which we dont mind- the more the merrrier!

Magician!!!

Lol.

wildflower · 13-06-2012 10:16AM

padd b1975 wrote: »

Magician!!!

Lol.

lol sounds like a waste of money but we saw a mind reader at another wedding and we loved it and everyone was saying how much they loved it.

we were willing to cut other things like cars and video to afford it. we cut everything that only we wud benefit from- and kept the entertainment for our guests as they will add to the fun for them. we are even getting our rings in argos until we can afford decent ones in a few yrs, its all about priorities and our priority is fab meal and entertainment for our guests who are spending a small fortune coming to our wedding.:D

john_cappa · 13-06-2012 01:11PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I find that strange (I'm a photographer, so my post may have some bias, I suppose?).

Surely it'd be the other way around? I've often seen couples getting a photo/s printed large and framed and hung on a wall, or showing their album off to everyone under the sun, but the DVD is usually watched once and then forgotten about (until the anniversary perhaps, or if a friend is looking for a videographer)?

Not that I'm trying to knock videographers or anything, I know some and they're all nice guys, but I do think that the photographs from the day should definitely take priority over the video footage (I'd also suggest sticking with a professional, not because I think that the 'mate with a camera' is necessarily a bad way to go, although it's easy to get poor photos and 'having a good camera' has nothing to do with taking good photos, but because I feel it's poor form to invite someone to your wedding and then ask them if they don't mind working all through it and not enjoying it, and then spending more days working on editing photos).

That's just me though, and as I say, I am a photographer, so I've probably got a different mindset to it than most people would (so apologies if that sounds like I'm a prick).

From a personal perspective I got the most pleasure from the video. The photos are nice but its all so "wooden and posed". The video captures the essence of the day e.g

The bride getting ready in the hose, having a glass of champers, me looking nervous outside the cjurch meeting and greeting, on the phone organising, the actual ceremony, little funny moment during the ceremony, little things and whispers we shared on the alter, things people said to us leaving the church (we were miked). The speeches, the dancing etc.

All this for me is 1000 times better than the "ok and smile" snap snap snap!

john_cappa · 13-06-2012 01:13PM

POKERKING wrote: »

Off topic, but im only recently married(less than a year) and video is far more important than the pics to me, infact(and this might sound ridiculus) we are yet to even get the album printed despite paying for an album already(we have some individual pics printed), we have seen the disk but havent gotten around to picking which ones while we have watched the video close to ten times and cherish that far more than the pics. Could be a personal thing though.

13 months later and I am the same. Pics on a disc. Perhaps if we actually made the album we would appreciate it more but as of now the video rules all.

whiteandlight · 13-06-2012 01:33PM

john_cappa wrote: »

POKERKING wrote: »

Off topic, but im only recently married(less than a year) and video is far more important than the pics to me, infact(and this might sound ridiculus) we are yet to even get the album printed despite paying for an album already(we have some individual pics printed), we have seen the disk but havent gotten around to picking which ones while we have watched the video close to ten times and cherish that far more than the pics. Could be a personal thing though.

13 months later and I am the same. Pics on a disc. Perhaps if we actually made the album we would appreciate it more but as of now the video rules all.

I'm the reverse I adore my album. The video while nice isn't visually as good as the album. Having said that photographer was amazing! We gave all those moments in our album!

Firegaurd · 02-07-2012 01:17AM

wildflower wrote: »

1k magician

Im not having a pop, if your gonna have a magician thats your own business but what magician is charging you €1000.

If you pay him/her that, that will be the greatest trick they ever pull.

We toyed with the idea of one to entertain the guests at the drinks reception and priced a few of them and they all came in at 300-400.

DM addict · 02-07-2012 08:31AM

OP, any luck with getting your loan?

I'd have thought the CU would be a better option, but I've v. little knowledge of taking out a loan myself.

If you're confident that you can pay back the money within a short period of time, could either set of parents help out?

Monife · 05-07-2012 11:02PM

Definitely would not count on cash gifts to pay back a loan.

We had 55 people at our wedding and the cash gifts totalled €1,100 and one family member gave €400 and another relative gave €500.

We had a wedding on a budget and we were lucky that my father paid for the meal (had a meal in restaurant rather than doing the hotel thing, €35/head) and my mother and grandmother paid for my dress. We used family/friends cars. Bridesmaid dress was ordered and made to measure from China, didn't need any alterations, wore her own shoes. Didn't have a band, just a DJ.

A suggestion, would be to possibly ask some of your very close family members (if you personally know they are not struggling financially) if they could help out with a particular cost/aspect of the wedding.

Yeboah · 06-07-2012 08:36AM

Will have to get CU loan for our wedding too which is just over a year away...Putting away a little every week as want qualify for the loan that i need..Its tough as have recently purchased a house aswell but has to be done and only happens once - i think

.......although our wedding will be costing less than 10k so were talking much smaller money

gimmick · 06-07-2012 10:45AM

Yeboah wrote: »

Will have to get CU loan for our wedding too which is just over a year away...Putting away a little every week as want qualify for the loan that i need..Its tough as have recently purchased a house aswell but has to be done and only happens once - i think .......although our wedding will be costing less than 10k so were talking much smaller money

Word of warning - take a small loan in the meantime to pay it back. CU are very sceptical of wedding loans or first time loans lately.

This way they see you have capacity to repay and also capacity to save. ts daft, but its necessary!!!

Theboinkmaster · 06-07-2012 12:49PM

Yeboah wrote: »

Will have to get CU loan for our wedding too which is just over a year away...Putting away a little every week as want qualify for the loan that i need..Its tough as have recently purchased a house aswell but has to be done and only happens once - i think .......although our wedding will be costing less than 10k so were talking much smaller money

Why? If you need a loan for the wedding then you can't afford it.

Yeboah · 06-07-2012 01:21PM

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

Why? If you need a loan for the wedding then you can't afford it.

Some people dont have parents or parents in law to foot the bill even for a small wedding. And maybe we just want a nice little wedding and honeymoon (everything is gonna be less than 10k), no difference to getting a holiday loan in my opinion.....if people couldnt "afford" things straight out of their bank account very little people that i know whould own their own homes, go on holidays or put their kids through college

John Mason · 06-07-2012 01:52PM

Yeboah wrote: »

Some people dont have parents or parents in law to foot the bill even for a small wedding. e

we had a small wedding and didnt get money from our parents, we saved and paid for selves without a loan.

if you cant pay for the wedding, put it off and wait until you can afford it

gimmick · 06-07-2012 02:23PM

Theboinkmaster wrote: »

Why? If you need a loan for the wedding then you can't afford it.

Nonsense. We took a loan. Had it paid back in full a week after.

Its handy to be able to put your hands on an extra few quid here if the need arises.

Each to their own and all that, but I hate your attitude.
Do you have a car loan, or any other sort of loan outstanding? Its the exact same principle.

Theboinkmaster · 06-07-2012 04:02PM

gimmick wrote: »

Nonsense. We took a loan. Had it paid back in full a week after.

Its handy to be able to put your hands on an extra few quid here if the need arises.

Each to their own and all that, but I hate your attitude.
Do you have a car loan, or any other sort of loan outstanding? Its the exact same principle.

No it's not the same principle at all. I have no loans but plan on getting a mortgage however when i do the house will be the security and will always be worth more than the loan outstanding.

And even with car loans you have the use of the car during the term of the loan and always have an asset, even when paid off.

With a wedding you have nothing. Getting into debt and paying interest on a loan for a wedding or holidays is not only bad economics but just stupid - you don't take out loans to fund current expenditure, generally only capital items.

Theboinkmaster · 06-07-2012 04:04PM

Yeboah wrote: »

Some people dont have parents or parents in law to foot the bill even for a small wedding. And maybe we just want a nice little wedding and honeymoon (everything is gonna be less than 10k), no difference to getting a holiday loan in my opinion.....if people couldnt "afford" things straight out of their bank account very little people that i know whould own their own homes, go on holidays or put their kids through college

I don't know who you hang around with but nobody i know gets loans for holidays or weddings. Generally only for cars & houses.

If you need to borrow for your wedding/holiday you can't afford it and are attempting to live beyond your means.

gimmick · 06-07-2012 04:23PM

Okay so. Impose your will on the situation.

I know loads of people who take out loans for holidays. And plenty who have done for weddings.

You are obviously betetr financially fixed than all these folks.

I do not regret taking a loan for my recent wedding, and would certainly not tell someone put off a wedding if they needed to take a loan. We did not live beyond our means by doing so. And going by your logic, having a car loan is not living within your means.

Happy W · 06-07-2012 04:54PM

Hi Scobi. I took out a wedding loan in the last few months. Got it from the credit union. I've has car loans with them in the past. Best friend did the same for their wedding

LizT · 06-07-2012 05:01PM

gimmick wrote: »

Okay so. Impose your will on the situation.

I know loads of people who take out loans for holidays. And plenty who have done for weddings.

You are obviously betetr financially fixed than all these folks.

I do not regret taking a loan for my recent wedding, and would certainly not tell someone put off a wedding if they needed to take a loan. We did not live beyond our means by doing so. And going by your logic, having a car loan is not living within your means.

I really don't see it as the same thing. If you can't afford the repayments on your car loan at least you can sell the car to cover it.

With a wedding all you have left at the end of the day are the clothes and the gifts which, in most cases, won't come near the amount spent on the wedding.

Yeboah · 06-07-2012 06:48PM

so getting a 3/4 grand loan from my credit union so that maybe our small foreign wedding with just immediate family including honeymoon can be that extra bit special and something we will remember for the rest of our lives, also giving ourselves less pressure before the event is living beyond our means and we should put off the wedding.

Plenty of High Horses trotting in this thread today

Wedding loans

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