Wedding loans

scobi

Hi gang

Look i know this has probably been up loads of times already but need help or some experienced advice.

Getting married in a couple of months and worried about the costs and if we will get the loan. Have about 5k save but wedding will probably cost close to 25k.

Just wondering if anyone has resently has got a wedding loan and who from?
Or should i go to a bank or credit union?
Or are even banks or credit unions even giving out money for wedding?

Any help would be much app.

Regards

Misticles

scobi wrote: »

Hi gang

Look i know this has probably been up loads of times already but need help or some experienced advice.

Getting married in a couple of months and worried about the costs and if we will get the loan. Have about 5k save but wedding will probably cost close to 25k.

Just wondering if anyone has resently has got a wedding loan and who from?
Or should i go to a bank or credit union?
Or are even banks or credit unions even giving out money for wedding?

Any help would be much app.

Regards

Depending on your credit union - I don't think they will give you 25k. My CU only gives 3 times what you have saved - so for you that would be 15k.

I don't think a bank would loan that soley for a wedding but you would have to check.

Is there anyway you can cut down the cost - I know the date is quite close but every little counts.

scobi

Ya trying to make cuts here and there buts its very hard.
Hoping i can get the loan for over 10 years but pay it back early.
Alot of places wont do any more cuts as they say there at there limits.
Also including honeymoon and spending money in the loan.

Any one know wheres the best place in cork for suit hire. Using lapel and they are very good but a small bit on the espensive side.

whiteandlight

Postpone the honeymoon and spending money for 6 months or so unless it's already booked. Got a smaller loan than you were looking for for ours from my credit union. I had paid several previous loans with them and they accepted it just for the wedding. However I'd say you will not get 20k (your balance) and hence the postponement. we got married at Christmas and are going on honeymoon in July and it was great. The gap gave us time to save and to be honest the weeks were so busy after the wedding that it worked out well.

scobi

Ya looked into that and because we have already paid deposits we have been told we migght not get all deposits back. (Bit of advice for people. For Honeymoons go through a travel agets at least your covered for things).

Also due to my partners work it really is only after the wedding we can go on our honeymoon.

foxy06

Am I the only person that thinks a 10 year loan for a wedding is very ott?

Acoshla

foxy06 wrote: »

Am I the only person that thinks a 10 year loan for a wedding is very ott?

Paying for one day for the next 10 years, feck that! A lesson in why it's better to have the wedding you can afford rather than the dream wedding.

Senna

The mind boggles at someone putting themselves into so much debt for a wedding. It maybe very close, but you really need to re-evaluate everything from start to finish.
You may have deposits paid with suppliers, but if its means huge debt, you might be better of losing some deposits.
Have you spoke to your venue, can they offer a smaller menu?
Can you cut down on cars/transport? We used a friends car instead of hiring a few.
Are you having video/photographer? Can any cuts be made there.

You really need to go through every expense and see what can be cut.

whiteandlight

Even having gotten a loan ours is significantly less than yours and we're paying it off in double time (2 years or less). Why did you put deposits down if you hadn't sorted the finances?

Quirkygirl

Crazy crazy. I have never before heard of someone getting a loan for a wedding? We had our wedding on our budget, there was no worries about money, that should not be a part of a wedding day in my opinion. You really need to work within what you can afford, I would be totally shocked if any financial provider will give a loan for this? Getting a loan to include spending money and paying for this over ten years, Jesus that's crazy talk.

scobi

Lads sorry time was wrong over loan. 1/0 years for loan. Meaning with our savings and gifts will have the loan paid off over a year or 2.

Lads venue and photos wont change as they arent willing to cut any more. Will probably cut out the honeymoon spending money. Doing that and going over deposits paid loan required will be around the 20k mark.

Some people think that it may be mad considering its only one day but should it not be what you want. Alright getting into debt but should all go to plan it will be cleared in under 2 years.

Look at what some people paid for cars and other luxary items so surely paying that kind of money for your wedding isnt crazy.

Thats just my view

Senna

scobi wrote: »

Some people think that it may be mad considering its only one day but should it not be what you want.

It should be what you want, but if you cant afford it, then its not worth going into debt over.
I think you have realised 10 years is madness, and your just trying to pretend you meant 1/0, whatever that means.
Debt like that over even 2 years works out at over €1000 per month and no one will lend you that if all you have in saving is €5k, how would you even pay it??

scobi wrote: »

Lads venue and photos wont change as they arent willing to cut any more.

Are you tied to contracts? everything can change. Lose your deposit and do without or find someone cheaper. If you are looking with a short led-in time and the supplier your are getting a quote off is free that day, then you can bet you will get some great deals. I would not recommend messing suppliers around with this, but if either this or a 10 year loan, i know what i would do.

Its your life and its your money, but really your going to be killing yourself with debt when there is no need. Plenty of people do weddings to a tight budget and they are every bit as good.

scobi

Lads thanks for all the input. It has helped in some way. Will be sitting down tomorrow going back into the planner book and reciepts and contracts and see if more can be cut or reduced.

Hopefully we can have the day we both want at a reasonably price and not have to cut too much out.

Thanks again and im sure i'll be back looking for more advice

hoodwinked

Noticed you are in Cork, honestly i don't think you will get that kind of money from a bank,

you might get about 5k of it,


Credit unions in Cork very much depend on which one you are a member of, some are doing ok, some aren't lending or have ridiculously high interest rates, i think for all CU's you have to be a member and have a record of savings with them to get a loan!


I am getting married in Cork, We are doing a church, hotel, white dress, flash cars with all our family and friends, typical wedding for 5k, so it can be done, im sure there is a breakdown of costs thread around here somewhere if you want to see it, you just have to choose what you want and see how do you achieve that at minimum cost, im also sure if you get stuck and cant think of a cheaper way to do what you like, you could ask here loads of people will help you out.

if i may ask what will you do if you don't get the money?
do you have a budget or financial plan made out?

Gatica

I agree with hoodwinked, you need a back-up plan. What do you do if you don't get the money? I assume you may stick with the venue (if its cost is <5000)... Cutting down your guest list is the main and most effective way to cut back a budget, since the per-head costs are what normally costs the most, e.g. 120 ppl at 50/head is 6000... So if you bring it down to 90 it'd be 4500, already a 1500 saving. Something to think about.

Everyone would love the wedding of their dreams, mine would be Kilshane for a long weekend (or even one of those beach-side intimate Hawaii celebrity-style weddings), but we can't afford that so realistically we had to make the venue fit our budget. We don't know your circumstances and maybe the reason you have only 5000 saved is because you've just got engaged 2 months ago and are having a quick wedding.
However if you've been saving that for a couple of years, then you really are putting yourself under immense pressure for a single day, even if it is the single most important day of your life (or one of). Do rethink it.

In answer to your actual question, I cannot see any bank giving out such a loan over such a long period of time if you haven't saved something similar already. It basically depends on previous loans and how you'd managed to pay those off, your savings, your income and your other expenses. You may get lucky, but personally I cannot see it working.

Sleepy

No bank will touch you for that kind of loan I'm afraid. I'd agree with the others that 25k is a huge amount to be spending on a wedding when you don't have it. Don't be counting on gifts to cover a major portion of that either, the boom's over, even with 300 guests you're likely to be a long way from receiving that kind of cash on the day.

Time to look at what elements you can cancel, even if it means losing the deposit. Maybe ditch the videographer? find a cheaper photographer or a friend who's a keen amateur (understanding that the results won't be as good), talk to the hotel about reducing choice on the menu or removing a course e.g. a choice of starter/soup instead of both courses, downgrade the reception from champagne to tea/coffee, cancel the band and get a DJ to do the full wedding, cancel the wedding cars and get a friend with a nice car to do the job for ye, wear a suit you already own and ask groomsmen to do the same (maybe buy matching ties / cravats instead), speak with your florist and don't bother with pew ends, postpone the honeymoon, ask the bridesmaids to wear their own shoes / get cheap dresses for them since they'll never be wearing them again anyway or (and this may be controversial on a forum of brides) slash the budget for the bride's dress: when you can get something custom made from China for under €200, something in the Barnardo's stores for around the same or something from a sample sale for not much more there's very little excuse to spend more than €500 on a dress imho. Honestly, there are so many ways to cut budget, it's crazy not to do it when you're clearly not able to afford the wedding you want.

I wouldn't be entirely against borrowing for a wedding, (unless something lands in my lap I'll be borrowing a few grand off my parents for our own wedding but our budget is *much* lower than yours, all in we're looking about the 10k mark thanks to all the cost cutting we've done) but there's borrowing a few quid you know you'll most likely cover with gifts on the day or that you can comfortably pay back inside 5/6 months and there's taking on so much debt it could destroy you if things don't go according to plan (losing a job in the next year, a honeymoon baby meaning one of you has to give up work / go on maternity leave at a reduced salary etc.).

clint_silver

Sleepy sums it up well. This has turned into a life planning/ financial awareness lesson.

If you have a wedding planning book, have your life planning book beside it as well which details every monetary in and out (and ensure it caters for unknowns like needing a new car/new baby) for the next 3-5 years. Can you fit 1k a month into it?

And if you can fit 1k into it (which is a lot of discretionary spend these days), ask yourself why do you only have 5k saved?

Now, despite others above, I actually dont see a problem with a small loan. Maybe 5-7k tops. Something you can get down very quickly. You more then likely will get some cash on your wedding day but every person on here will tell you the same thing, do not count on it. And certainly do not tell anyone or speak about you depending on the cash from presents. You might not see a problem with discussing it, but it leaves a horrible taste with most people.

youve read all the above suggestions on how to reduce costs. Do it. In some cases, for example, an all day DJ instead of band might save you 1500k, you might have paid 200 deposit, youre losing 200 but saving 1500. think of it that way. (keep the band by the way but hopefully you see the lesson)

john_cappa

Gatica wrote: »

I agree with hoodwinked, you need a back-up plan. What do you do if you don't get the money? I assume you may stick with the venue (if its cost is <5000)... Cutting down your guest list is the main and most effective way to cut back a budget, since the per-head costs are what normally costs the most, e.g. 120 ppl at 50/head is 6000... So if you bring it down to 90 it'd be 4500, already a 1500 saving. Something to think about.

Cutting guest numbers is actually the least efficient way to make a saving as your fixed costs are being spread over a smaller number meaning an actual increase in the cost per head to host the entire wedding. Cutting guests means less presents (which in this day and age are 95% cash). Now I know in this forum people love to act outraged about expecting presents etc but..................on average the minimum present people will give 50 euro per head or 100 per couple. This is more than enough to cover each persons meal which is the only additional cost incurred by extra invites. Indeed I wouldnt expect you to pay more than 40-45 per head (all inclusive menu with welcome food, full banquet with choices for main, wine, evening food etc) unless you are getting married in a very fancy hotel.

Cut the fixed costs.

Just some examples...............

2000 for our band-A 1000 euro band would have been just as good.
350 for a Wedding car- Cut it!
700-Photographer just for prints no album. Pic an amateur or who will do it for from free to 300 or a friend with a decent camera.
1000-Video: Dont cut this. You will regret it.
600- videobooth. 600 quid for 40 mins of friends being idiots, funny but what a waste, this was her call and we argued about it.
200 quid- Sweet table-nice but not needed
700-Flowers-Could have done it for 400 if we had been more organised I am sure and less demanding.
Honeymoon-Go all inclusive

etc

Ginny

scobi wrote: »

Ya looked into that and because we have already paid deposits we have been told we migght not get all deposits back. (Bit of advice for people. For Honeymoons go through a travel agets at least your covered for things).

Also due to my partners work it really is only after the wedding we can go on our honeymoon.

I wouldn't advise going through travel agents for Honeymoons, I booked ours myself and for a break shorter then the one we went one, and in hotels a lower star then the ones we booked we were getting quoted a 300% markup on what I arranged.


Banks probably won't touch you for a loan. Cut everything back, no wedding these days should cost 25K. Losing a deposit of a couple of hundreds instead of having a service that will costs 1000's is a hit you might have to take.
What breakdown are you getting for 25k? Where is the money being spent?

Above all do not bank of gifts covering anything, people are broke, do not rely on others to pay for your wedding. I will promise you whatever you get will not cover 25% of your wedding, and if you're spending 25K then it will be an even lower %.

A wedding is one day, a marriage is a lifetime. We saved for 14 months for our wedding and paid it outright ourselves. We would never have taken a loan out, if we had then we wouldn't have been able to afford to have a baby this year, and would have been quite sad, putting life on hold because of one day.

Postpone the wedding, save some more most places will let you keep your deposits if you postpone.

AshAdele

I have to agree with everyone above.

I got engaged in Febuary, we both sat down and looked at finances straight away. we have just bought a house so had no savings.
We calculated how much we could save comfortably each month.
Then figured out how many months we would need to save for.
we are getting married sept 2013. We will comfortably have all the money saved by then.

25k wedding in these days is BIG.

Our hotel contract says we can postpone the date if needed. ask your hotel can you postpone by 6-8 month. give yourself some breathing space!

your wedding is 25k. you have 5k. you need 20k. you have said that you will offset your cash gifts against the loan. Assuming you have 100 people and they give 5o per person (remember its a recession) then that is only 5k. 150people=7500euro.
you may get more off some people but dont bank on it!
you could still have 15k loan to pay off. paying off 15k over 3 years will be at least 100euro per week! thats a big chunk of money!!

If you really want the day of your dreams then you need to weight up a few things.

Do you want to pay off 100euro a week for the next 3 years?
Are you happy to put off having babies for 3 years (can you afford both at the same time??)
Are you happy to not be able to do much saving for the next 3 years (assuming you dont have much dissposable money since you only have 5k saved so far)

Look at your weekly income, start calculating what you want for the next 5 years. house, new car, baby, holidays etc all of these things will need to be saved for. is one day really worth puting your life on hold for for the next 3 years!

Im making alot of assumptions about you (sorry if I am wrong:o) but you have planned a big wedding you cannot afford! cut down on cost and keep the wedding on the date planned,. or push it out and save like crazy!!

A_Sober_Paddy

Spending 25K on a wedding in this day and age is ridiculous especially if you don't have it.

Taking out a loan for a wedding is it really worth it? You'll be stuck with a fairly sizeable debt for just one day. We as a country have the highest personal debt to GDP rate in Europe.

People really need to cop on and get realistic with how they spend money and what they spend it on.

Would that 20K loan, not be better used to be put towards a mortgage perhaps?

Just my 2cents

Bru79

hoodwinked wrote: »

Noticed you are in Cork, honestly i don't think you will get that kind of money from a bank,



I am getting married in Cork, We are doing a church, hotel, white dress, flash cars with all our family and friends, typical wedding for 5k, so it can be done, im sure there is a breakdown of costs thread around here somewhere if you want to see it, you just have to choose what you want and see how do you achieve that at minimum cost, im also sure if you get stuck and cant think of a cheaper way to do what you like, you could ask here loads of people will help you out.

I would be very interesting in hearing about how you got such a great deal, only starting the planning of our wedding and getting a bit overwhelmed.

ebbsy

The weddings Ive been at recently have had maybe 60-70 people max, and then everybody else piles into the afters.

Own cakes were made etc etc who cares, other bits and pieces were provided by the guests, the days of €25k weddings are long gone my friend.

john_cappa

A_Sober_Paddy wrote: »

Spending 25K on a wedding in this day and age is ridiculous

ebbsy wrote: »

the days of €25k weddings are long gone my friend.

These type of comments annoy me. They echo of the boring rhetoric of "everyone lost the run of them selves in the good old days of the celtic tiger". No they are not gone.

Just to clarify not everyone in the country is on their arse with out a pot to piss in. I am by no means rich but saved hard for two years and paid around 24000 for my wedding last year. And that wasnt over the top by any stretch.

So if you can afford a big day out and want a big day out then dont let people make you feel ashamed for having it.

Afford is the important word in that paragraph.

What I will say is two points:
1) Dont put guests under pressure to attend your wedding and "pay" for it through gifts as many are feeling the pinch. Argue hard with the hotel for reduced room rates for the wedding for those booking in and have it in the locality if possible

2) Do not get into debt for your dream day. Postpone and save hard and cut your cloth to measure so to speak.

A_Sober_Paddy

john_cappa wrote: »

These type of comments annoy me. They echo of the boring rhetoric of "everyone lost the run of them selves in the good old days of the celtic tiger". No they are not gone.

Just to clarify not everyone in the country is on their arse with out a pot to piss in. I am by no means rich but saved hard for two years and paid around 24000 for my wedding last year. And that wasnt over the top by any stretch.

So if you can afford a big day out and want a big day out then dont let people make you feel ashamed for having it.

Afford is the important word in that paragraph.

What I will say is two points:
1) Dont put guests under pressure to attend your wedding and "pay" for it through gifts as many are feeling the pinch. Argue hard with the hotel for reduced room rates for the wedding for those booking in and have it in the locality if possible

2) Do not get into debt for your dream day. Postpone and save hard and cut your cloth to measure so to speak.

I can see where you are coming from...But the OP doesn't have the money to spend on the wedding, just like a lot of people back in the Celtic Tiger days, who took out loans on things they didn't actually need...

I was referring to people who spend beyond their means, which from the look of the country was a hell of a lot of people during the boom, I myself consider myself fairly frugal, well I have to be as I'm currently on the dole...

As I've already pointed out, we have the highest ratio of Personnel debt to GDP in Europe:eek: We need to cop onto ourselves a bit in this country

john_cappa

john_cappa wrote: »

Just some examples...............

700-Photographer just for prints no album. Pic an amateur or who will do it for from free to 300 or a friend with a decent camera.
1000-Video: Dont cut this. You will regret it.

I find that strange (I'm a photographer, so my post may have some bias, I suppose?).

Surely it'd be the other way around? I've often seen couples getting a photo/s printed large and framed and hung on a wall, or showing their album off to everyone under the sun, but the DVD is usually watched once and then forgotten about (until the anniversary perhaps, or if a friend is looking for a videographer)?

Not that I'm trying to knock videographers or anything, I know some and they're all nice guys, but I do think that the photographs from the day should definitely take priority over the video footage (I'd also suggest sticking with a professional, not because I think that the 'mate with a camera' is necessarily a bad way to go, although it's easy to get poor photos and 'having a good camera' has nothing to do with taking good photos, but because I feel it's poor form to invite someone to your wedding and then ask them if they don't mind working all through it and not enjoying it, and then spending more days working on editing photos).

That's just me though, and as I say, I am a photographer, so I've probably got a different mindset to it than most people would (so apologies if that sounds like I'm a prick).


On topic though, I always see people getting loans for weddings. I don't think I know anyone who just had the money to pay for a wedding lying around the house. They're quite expensive things.


Whilst I agree that you'd need to be a bit mad to get into 10 years of debt, I do think a small loan and some budget-adjusting should be done.

If you do have service providers on the day (photo/video/catering/etc.) ask them if they have a cheaper package or option that you can move to. This way you're still working with them and not cancelling at the last minute, but you're also getting to save a few euro.

Not all of your guests are going to show up (they never do) so I'd re-confirm with everyone that they'll definitely be there and won't be nursing their sick baby/auntie/etc. back to health after an unexpected illness on the morning of your wedding. Ring them and be sure. Adjust the numbers with your venue accordingly.


The long and short of it is that there are lots of ways to save money (though I'd advise against completely cutting your photo/video people, as these will likely be the only things you'll have after the wedding that will last forever, though again, I'm a photographer, so there may be bias in that, as it's an area I've experience in).

You could sell the dress after the wedding to recoup some money?

I'd really not be going ahead with a wedding that's going to be ten years of debt. There are so many things that will pop up in the next ten years that will make you regret spending so much, and the last thing you want is a blame-game when money gets tight because he/she wanted this and you're still paying for that (not that I'm saying this will happen, but what I mean is, you don't want to look back on your wedding with annoyance because it's taking so long to pay off, it's supposed to be a great day for you both).


A dream wedding and a realistic wedding are a very fine line, it'd seem, and you need to be careful with it. That said, it is a once in a lifetime event for most people so it's something you should always remember as something you enjoy.

Is it possible to move dates back a bit with your providers/vendors to give you more time to organise yourself?

It's a tricky situation you're in at the moment, and I don't envy you, but I'm sure it'll work out. If you do end up getting the money and going ahead with the 25K wedding, do us all a favour and make sure you thoroughly enjoy every last minute of it!

LizT

OP, could you maybe break down some of the costs? What's costing you the most money (apart from the venue). Could you renegotiate with the venue? Instead of going for the most expensive package, can you go for the cheaper meals, tea and coffee reception etc?

You need to think realistically - are you in a position to pay off a loan for ten years? Do you have your own house and a mortgage at the minute or is this something you intend to do in the next ten years? What would happen if you or your OH were to lose your jobs? It's a really tough position to be in but you don't know what will happen 2-3 years down the road and it's not like you will have any collateral from the wedding.

As regards gifts, you can see from many posts in this forum that at the minute, people do not have the means to give that much so I wouldn't even think about how much you are going to get as it probably won't even begin to cover any costs.

username123

Absolute madness.

You are 2 months away from your wedding and 20k short? How on earth did you let this happen? Does this not tell you that your financial planning skills may not be up to scratch?

And dont expect to get it back in gifts, not these days.

Even the fact you mentioned a planner? Why do you need a planner, you havent got a bean to your name - oh sorry, a paltry 5k, and you have a planner? Have you completely lost the run of yourself?

How are you expecting to pay back 20k plus interest in 2 years? You also have to keep a roof over your head, eat, and save for a rainy day, and maybe prepare for a family.

This thread is a perfect example of the wedding being more important than the marriage.

Will you seriously be happy in 2 or 3 years time when you are still paying this party off and its long forgotten?

LizT

scobi wrote: »

Lads sorry time was wrong over loan. 1/0 years for loan. Meaning with our savings and gifts will have the loan paid off over a year or 2.

Lads venue and photos wont change as they arent willing to cut any more. Will probably cut out the honeymoon spending money. Doing that and going over deposits paid loan required will be around the 20k mark.

Some people think that it may be mad considering its only one day but should it not be what you want. Alright getting into debt but should all go to plan it will be cleared in under 2 years.

Look at what some people paid for cars and other luxary items so surely paying that kind of money for your wedding isnt crazy.

Thats just my view

Paying for a luxury car is different, it's an item that you can sell to recoup some of the money if you need to. Paying 25k for a wedding is completely different - the only thing I can think of selling after the wedding is the dress and some of the gifts. The rest of the money cannot be recouped.

Can I ask why you think you will have the money in two years but not now? I notice from some of your other posts that you have been planning this wedding for over a year yet you've only saved 5k? Going by that, the loan won't even half be paid off in two years.

scobi

Had more money save but family emergency more or less wipe it out.

Started tread to see which would be better to try and get a loan off bank or credit union and people are giving it loads about it been too much and that those days are gone and to cut this and cut that.

I know everyone is trying to help and mean well and all advice is been read and listen to.

Will have the money in couple of years paid back

username123

scobi wrote: »

Will have the money in couple of years paid back

What if there is another family emergency?

I dont think anyone wants to see you not have a lovely wedding, but you are hearing the voices of experience here, it seems to you now like its the biggest most important thing to borrow for. Believe me, its not. Its a party.

Dont you think when pretty much everyone agrees that its madness to be borrowing that kind of money for a party that its worth listening to?

bigneacy

scobi wrote: »

Have about 5k save but wedding will probably cost close to 25k

Regards

Look, I don't mean to be cruel, but here goes. It's not 2007 anymore, we are as close to bankrupt as a nation as we can get. If you only have 5000 saved, then thats all you can afford. Burdening yourself with 20000 debt to have a wedding like the cousins/workmates etc. is pure silliness. Take the 5k and either have a registry office & small reception with close family or take it and elope (dream holiday + tying the knot = lifelong memories)

You simply can't afford the ridiculous "big fat Irish wedding" with 300 guests and the chocolate fountain and the overpriced band. Just because all your friends and aunties say you have to, doesn't actually mean you have to.

Senna

I don't think any amount of warning posts on there are going to make the op change her mind.

Its your life, your decision and your money, hope you have a great wedding.

finbarrk

Senna wrote: »

I don't think any amount of warning posts on there are going to make the op change her mind.

Its your life, your decision and your money, hope you have a great wedding.

I have just come across this. I can't believe how anyone could think about borrowing money to get married. The mind boggles.

hoodwinked

scobi wrote: »

Had more money save but family emergency more or less wipe it out.

Started tread to see which would be better to try and get a loan off bank or credit union and people are giving it loads about it been too much and that those days are gone and to cut this and cut that.

I know everyone is trying to help and mean well and all advice is been read and listen to.

Will have the money in couple of years paid back

Have you tried to get this money yet op? again re-iterating im not sure if a bank or credit union will give it out,

make sure you have a back up plan where you won't need the money just in case they don't lend it!

tatli_lokma

scobi wrote: »

Had more money save but family emergency more or less wipe it out.

........

Will have the money in couple of years paid back

I find this quite baffling.

You plan for your wedding for a year or so, save money and in the blink of an eye a family emergency happens and it has wiped your savings. And yet, despite this, you have not learned a lesson from it. You feel confident that in 2 years you will have €20000 paid back. Can you not see how silly this is? All it will take is one more emergency, and you will be seriously screwed. NO ONE can be certain they can pay back that kind of money in 2 years - not with the way jobs are for people. If you can afford €1000 a month, then why not postpone the wedding 18mths?

Best of luck getting a lending institution to give you €20k, especially when they ask what you have in savings and discover you can only manage €5k.

However, as another poster said, I fear that you are hell bent on this course of action and won't be told otherwise.

Edit to add - I also notice that OP is reluctant to list where the costs are in the wedding - perhaps because they know in their heart of hearts that much of it is unneccessary but doesn't want to admit to where their spending is frivilous. Seems they want all the bells and whistles and to hell with the cost or consequences. :rolleyes:

Zulu

Sadly, I think the key point you are missing is that:
the family emergency wiped out your wedding, not your savings.

It's madness to try and proceed like nothing has happened. You are 20K short - thats a deposit on a family home. If you are thinking of having a family in the next decade, then you won't want to be paying for a party. This is a party you are paying for. And you can't afford it. (Sadly due to circumstance)

If you have your mind made up, and it sounds like you do, there's nothing anyone here can say to help you really. No one is going to give you a €20K loan with no security. If it was a car, or a house, at least the bank/union would have an asset, but with a wedding there's nothing.

And one last thing - you WILL NOT make up the difference with gifts. If you think you are going to get a gift/money from everyone you're in for a rude awakening.

Seriously: best of luck, I've a feeling you'll need it.

tatli_lokma

OP should ask themselves, which do I want more...the big wedding or to get married.

If its the big wedding you desperately want, then postpone, save for another year or so and have the big wedding you want. You won't have to compromise on all the things you really want on the day.

If you want to be marrried and this is why you don't want to postpone, then scale down, have a smaller affair.

Harsh reality is, with €5k saved you can't have both a big wedding and have it in 2 mths. Its one or the other I'm afraid.

SmilingLurker

scobi wrote: »

Have about 5k save but wedding will probably cost close to 25k.

Congratulations on deciding to get married, I wish you well. I am married over a year now, and that seems like a lot of money. If you have it, yes, enjoy spending it. But taking out loans when you don't have a lot saved is worrying.

Remember marriage is for a long time (hopefully life), a wedding is for a day (or a few days in some cases). Keep some of your money for being married. All a wedding needs to cost is €150 (registry office). Everything else is additional.

Back to the question, talk to your local Credit Union, bank and figure out the interest rate each institution will charge. Look at the repayments required, and add additional couple of percent for interest rate rises. See if you can afford this amount.

The money advice bureau (MABS.ie) might be able to help - be careful about getting into debt! Have a great day and good luck.

wildflower

OP no one here knows ue financial history, i think u need to go to bank and credit union asap and find out what they will give you and at what cost and for how long. then u need to decide how long you want to be in debt for- personally i wouldnt like to b in much debt for long after my wedding. imo 2 yrs is too long to repay as you dont know what will happen in that time. 6 mths is more realistic, how much can u afford to pay back in that timeframe. then look again at how much u can afford to pay each supplier, then phone all and ask for better offer- if they cannot lower price then cut them or if u want them badly cut something else to afford it. u will have to make some tough calls but u will regret putting ur life on hold for 2 yrs to pay for all these extras that no one will notice but u!
i am getting married this yr and we are having a 23k wedding so i know the pressure you are under but we are getting a gift from parents- we have a massive guest list and are cutting extras.
13.5k venue
3k band (doing church, band and disco)
1k magician
1.5k dress
1.5k bridal party and groom
500 flowers + decor
1k photograper
1k extras- dont know what they are yet but they wil pop up
no video
no honeymoon
no cars
suits, shoes and dresses are gifts for bridal party
friend doing invites
im making cake
im doing brooch bouquets

paying for lots just out of wages so we will have less to get loan for but saving into credit union every mth and have discussed borrowing 8k from them in 6mths for the wedding.


we have paid 3k on deposits, my dress, decor etc already. we will have 4k in savings,our parents giving us 10k. that leaves us about 7k to get as loan which with 300 guests we are hoping we might get back in some gifts but we are not banking on so we an afford to pay it back in a few mths- but we will be skint while we are paying it back quickly- not an ideal way to start married life! we were even discussing this week will we cut the hotel meals back a bit as now we are having top of the range service- champers and steak, cud save 1.5k just by switching to salmon and beef, and we cud cut another 2k by dropping guest list by 50 people- and we are def considering these and have spoken to hotel who said we have to decide within 6 weeks of wedding before they order in the supplies.

you really need to get more organised and contact suppliers and banks, have u discussed ur situation with ur parents, bridal party, siblings, are they in a position to help out with one or two suppliers in lieu of a gift? if ur desperate to have a dream wedding then u need to get the finger out and get working on how you can do alot of it yourself.


we are v lucky our parents are being so genourous but if they werent we wud have had a much smaller wedding. our parents are basically paying for their guests meals- which we dont mind- the more the merrrier!

POKERKING

Deleted User wrote: »

I find that strange (I'm a photographer, so my post may have some bias, I suppose?).

...........

It's a tricky situation you're in at the moment, and I don't envy you, but I'm sure it'll work out. If you do end up getting the money and going ahead with the 25K wedding, do us all a favour and make sure you thoroughly enjoy every last minute of it!

Off topic, but im only recently married(less than a year) and video is far more important than the pics to me, infact(and this might sound ridiculus) we are yet to even get the album printed despite paying for an album already(we have some individual pics printed), we have seen the disk but havent gotten around to picking which ones while we have watched the video close to ten times and cherish that far more than the pics. Could be a personal thing though.

padd b1975

wildflower wrote: »

OP no one here knows ue financial history, i think u need to go to bank and credit union asap and find out what they will give you and at what cost and for how long. then u need to decide how long you want to be in debt for- personally i wouldnt like to b in much debt for long after my wedding. imo 2 yrs is too long to repay as you dont know what will happen in that time. 6 mths is more realistic, how much can u afford to pay back in that timeframe. then look again at how much u can afford to pay each supplier, then phone all and ask for better offer- if they cannot lower price then cut them or if u want them badly cut something else to afford it. u will have to make some tough calls but u will regret putting ur life on hold for 2 yrs to pay for all these extras that no one will notice but u!
i am getting married this yr and we are having a 23k wedding so i know the pressure you are under but we are getting a gift from parents- we have a massive guest list and are cutting extras.
13.5k venue
3k band (doing church, band and disco)
1k magician
1.5k dress
1.5k bridal party and groom
500 flowers + decor
1k photograper
1k extras- dont know what they are yet but they wil pop up
no video
no honeymoon
no cars
suits, shoes and dresses are gifts for bridal party
friend doing invites
im making cake
im doing brooch bouquets

paying for lots just out of wages so we will have less to get loan for but saving into credit union every mth and have discussed borrowing 8k from them in 6mths for the wedding.


we have paid 3k on deposits, my dress, decor etc already. we will have 4k in savings,our parents giving us 10k. that leaves us about 7k to get as loan which with 300 guests we are hoping we might get back in some gifts but we are not banking on so we an afford to pay it back in a few mths- but we will be skint while we are paying it back quickly- not an ideal way to start married life! we were even discussing this week will we cut the hotel meals back a bit as now we are having top of the range service- champers and steak, cud save 1.5k just by switching to salmon and beef, and we cud cut another 2k by dropping guest list by 50 people- and we are def considering these and have spoken to hotel who said we have to decide within 6 weeks of wedding before they order in the supplies.

you really need to get more organised and contact suppliers and banks, have u discussed ur situation with ur parents, bridal party, siblings, are they in a position to help out with one or two suppliers in lieu of a gift? if ur desperate to have a dream wedding then u need to get the finger out and get working on how you can do alot of it yourself.


we are v lucky our parents are being so genourous but if they werent we wud have had a much smaller wedding. our parents are basically paying for their guests meals- which we dont mind- the more the merrrier!

Magician!!!

Lol.

wildflower

padd b1975 wrote: »

Magician!!!

Lol.

lol sounds like a waste of money but we saw a mind reader at another wedding and we loved it and everyone was saying how much they loved it.

we were willing to cut other things like cars and video to afford it. we cut everything that only we wud benefit from- and kept the entertainment for our guests as they will add to the fun for them. we are even getting our rings in argos until we can afford decent ones in a few yrs, its all about priorities and our priority is fab meal and entertainment for our guests who are spending a small fortune coming to our wedding.:D

john_cappa

Deleted User wrote: »

I find that strange (I'm a photographer, so my post may have some bias, I suppose?).

Surely it'd be the other way around? I've often seen couples getting a photo/s printed large and framed and hung on a wall, or showing their album off to everyone under the sun, but the DVD is usually watched once and then forgotten about (until the anniversary perhaps, or if a friend is looking for a videographer)?

Not that I'm trying to knock videographers or anything, I know some and they're all nice guys, but I do think that the photographs from the day should definitely take priority over the video footage (I'd also suggest sticking with a professional, not because I think that the 'mate with a camera' is necessarily a bad way to go, although it's easy to get poor photos and 'having a good camera' has nothing to do with taking good photos, but because I feel it's poor form to invite someone to your wedding and then ask them if they don't mind working all through it and not enjoying it, and then spending more days working on editing photos).

That's just me though, and as I say, I am a photographer, so I've probably got a different mindset to it than most people would (so apologies if that sounds like I'm a prick).

From a personal perspective I got the most pleasure from the video. The photos are nice but its all so "wooden and posed". The video captures the essence of the day e.g

The bride getting ready in the hose, having a glass of champers, me looking nervous outside the cjurch meeting and greeting, on the phone organising, the actual ceremony, little funny moment during the ceremony, little things and whispers we shared on the alter, things people said to us leaving the church (we were miked). The speeches, the dancing etc.

All this for me is 1000 times better than the "ok and smile" snap snap snap!

john_cappa

POKERKING wrote: »

Off topic, but im only recently married(less than a year) and video is far more important than the pics to me, infact(and this might sound ridiculus) we are yet to even get the album printed despite paying for an album already(we have some individual pics printed), we have seen the disk but havent gotten around to picking which ones while we have watched the video close to ten times and cherish that far more than the pics. Could be a personal thing though.

13 months later and I am the same. Pics on a disc. Perhaps if we actually made the album we would appreciate it more but as of now the video rules all.

whiteandlight

john_cappa wrote: »

POKERKING wrote: »

Off topic, but im only recently married(less than a year) and video is far more important than the pics to me, infact(and this might sound ridiculus) we are yet to even get the album printed despite paying for an album already(we have some individual pics printed), we have seen the disk but havent gotten around to picking which ones while we have watched the video close to ten times and cherish that far more than the pics. Could be a personal thing though.

13 months later and I am the same. Pics on a disc. Perhaps if we actually made the album we would appreciate it more but as of now the video rules all.

I'm the reverse I adore my album. The video while nice isn't visually as good as the album. Having said that photographer was amazing! We gave all those moments in our album!

Firegaurd

wildflower wrote: »

1k magician

Im not having a pop, if your gonna have a magician thats your own business but what magician is charging you €1000.

If you pay him/her that, that will be the greatest trick they ever pull.

We toyed with the idea of one to entertain the guests at the drinks reception and priced a few of them and they all came in at 300-400.

DM addict

OP, any luck with getting your loan?

I'd have thought the CU would be a better option, but I've v. little knowledge of taking out a loan myself.

If you're confident that you can pay back the money within a short period of time, could either set of parents help out?

Monife

Definitely would not count on cash gifts to pay back a loan.

We had 55 people at our wedding and the cash gifts totalled €1,100 and one family member gave €400 and another relative gave €500.

We had a wedding on a budget and we were lucky that my father paid for the meal (had a meal in restaurant rather than doing the hotel thing, €35/head) and my mother and grandmother paid for my dress. We used family/friends cars. Bridesmaid dress was ordered and made to measure from China, didn't need any alterations, wore her own shoes. Didn't have a band, just a DJ.

A suggestion, would be to possibly ask some of your very close family members (if you personally know they are not struggling financially) if they could help out with a particular cost/aspect of the wedding.

Yeboah

Will have to get CU loan for our wedding too which is just over a year away...Putting away a little every week as want qualify for the loan that i need..Its tough as have recently purchased a house aswell but has to be done and only happens once - i think .......although our wedding will be costing less than 10k so were talking much smaller money

gimmick

Yeboah wrote: »

Will have to get CU loan for our wedding too which is just over a year away...Putting away a little every week as want qualify for the loan that i need..Its tough as have recently purchased a house aswell but has to be done and only happens once - i think .......although our wedding will be costing less than 10k so were talking much smaller money

Word of warning - take a small loan in the meantime to pay it back. CU are very sceptical of wedding loans or first time loans lately.

This way they see you have capacity to repay and also capacity to save. ts daft, but its necessary!!!