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Close Security Diary in Dangerous Terrain

2

Comments

  • #52
    Delancey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,451 ✭✭✭Delancey


    Mods - please don't lock this - it's too good to kill off in it's prime.


  • #53
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Finally, investment's theme tune.......



  • #54
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    investment wrote: »
    Why has this been moved to walter mitty?

    Lock this thread NOW!!!....Its all about give and take and you keep taking and not giving...so you can all fo F youselves now....YOU DONT DESERVE MY KNOWNLEDGE


    If what your claiming is true why dont you pm a MOD with some proof and then your thread will be moved .......simples


  • #55
    Morpheus
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 2,688 Mod ✭✭✭✭Morpheus


    ChunkyLover_53 wrote: »
    OP said it was 10 to 10 yet you posted @ 1929hrs...2hr time difference to Dubai which means it should have been 2129hrs. Your watch is knackered.

    4 meals a day? 2nd breakfast? are you a Hobbit?

    Don't even know why I'm posting the guy is nuts, still good fun though.

    hobbit... priceless :) :pac:

    how do you draw an arrow in arabic!!?? :D

    Anyway on a more serious note, one way sign in Dubai is no different than the UK i believe? Red circle with white horizontal line through it.


  • #56
    Clitlady
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Clitlady


    investment wrote: »
    Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
    being compromised.

    This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

    I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


    The weather is good its over 30 degrees today :D

    take-my-money.jpg


  • #57
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    investment wrote: »
    [/SIZE][/SIZE]I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic.

    I see. Very confusing.

    SuperStock_1848-429965.jpg
    No entry sign, Financial District, Dubai, United Arab Emirates


  • #58
    goldie fish
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,195 ✭✭✭goldie fish


    MadsL wrote: »
    I see. Very confusing.

    SuperStock_1848-429965.jpg
    No entry sign, Financial District, Dubai, United Arab Emirates

    That could mean anything.....................

    I mean, it's in aramaic.


  • #59
    davetherave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,442 ✭✭✭davetherave


    investment wrote: »
    [/SIZE][/SIZE]I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:

    I find it hard to believe that you would still have a job after such an incident. Should you not have been scanning you surroundings and planning escape routes instead of sitting on the ground shooting the breeze with the milkshake.

    Of course there is a simple solution. It just so happens that this time tomorrow I shall be rubbing elbows with Sandhurst's finest cadets at a knees up in the academy. I'll just ask the prince if his old man has recently hired an incompetent paddy to be his CPO.


  • #60
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    davetherave wrote: »
    I find it hard to believe that you would still have a job after such an incident. Should you not have been scanning you surroundings and planning escape routes instead of sitting on the ground shooting the breeze with the milkshake.

    Of course there is a simple solution. It just so happens that this time tomorrow I shall be rubbing elbows with Sandhurst's finest cadets at a knees up in the academy. I'll just ask the prince if his old man has recently hired an incompetent paddy to be his CPO.

    Ah lads come on , we need to leave the OP alone , how else can we keep this valuable, in depth, truthful account of life as a bodyguard for a "shake" alive ????

    Oh btw Where is the OP , head buried in the sand ?? parked wrong way on a one way street ???


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  • #61
    Tabnabs
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,751 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tabnabs


    goldie fish wrote: »
    That could mean anything.....................

    I mean, it's in aramaic.

    Yeah, but they have ways of getting around that problem now

    engrish-funny-translation-fail.jpg


  • #62
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    investment wrote: »
    Diary 2

    Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

    I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

    I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

    I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


    I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week

    @investment - having re-read your posts, I think you should consider what you're being asked to do. 16 hrs per day @ about 13 euros an hour in that heat is not good, especially for a trained service provider. Even with meals and accommodation (Do you have use of a car?), it's still a pretty lousy deal when you consider the responsibility of the position.

    I think a decent Tier One operator could earn ten times what your being paid in Iraq, or alternatively, secure a good deal as a security consultant in Kuwait or working for Saudi ARAMCO.

    What your employer is doing - and asking of you - amounts to exploitation. Think about it - he has conned you with promises of money, luxury and women and failed to deliver on those promises. You're not the first to fall for the lure of easy money and nice weather and I doubt you'll be the last, but you need to wake up to what's happened and the situation you are now in.

    It is a classic example of a sheikh-down!


  • #63
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Jawgap wrote: »
    @investment - having re-read your posts, I think you should consider what you're being asked to do. 16 hrs per day @ about 13 euros an hour in that heat is not good, especially for a trained service provider. Even with meals and accommodation (Do you have use of a car?), it's still a pretty lousy deal when you consider the responsibility of the position.

    I think a decent Tier One operator could earn ten times what your being paid in Iraq, or alternatively, secure a good deal as a security consultant in Kuwait or working for Saudi ARAMCO.

    What your employer is doing - and asking of you - amounts to exploitation. Think about it - he has conned you with promises of money, luxury and women and failed to deliver on those promises. You're not the first to fall for the lure of easy money and nice weather and I doubt you'll be the last, but you need to wake up to what's happened and the situation you are now in.

    It is a classic example of a sheikh-down!

    I thought ARAMCO used local contractors?


  • #64
    fenris
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,078 ✭✭✭fenris


    MadsL wrote: »
    I thought ARAMCO used local contractors?


    Unless you know Roger!


  • #65
    FanadMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    Jawgap wrote: »
    What your employer is doing - and asking of you - amounts to exploitation. Think about it - he has conned you with promises of money, luxury and women and failed to deliver on those promises.

    Surely he can go to his union for some help on that. Hold on a sec, don't think Students Union have any sort of sway in Dubai. And prob even SIPTU won't rep for Close Security.

    Best idea - go downstairs and start crying to your mummy - I'm sure she'll have a word with the nasty shake and maybe then he'll pay you properly (or she might take away your internet privileges and ruin the whole thing)

    Sweet "dreams" :cool:


  • #66
    investment
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 573 ✭✭✭investment


    Ok I'm back due to the amount of pm's I have gotten from my followers....haters going to hate

    A lot has happened in the last week..last Sunday Abann gave me the day off to watch to Ireland match...he loves ireland and wants to buy a house here and visit...anyways myself and roger could not find a pub and we could not find beer for the match...but Abann came good even though the beer was warm and tasted like piss:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    We lost and we good hammered and roger stayed the night and took my watch shift

    On Monday Roger ****ed off home....:rolleyes: after 24 hours...so there I was back alone again... drinking warm piss:mad:


    On Tuesday i had to drive over to Mudon half drunk thank **** I was not stopped:o...we got there and back without any Close protection
    needed

    Wednesday was spend watching the gate and the **** who hangs around it


    Thursday was spend watching the ireland game....after Roger got to drunk and pissed in Abann garden:mad::mad:....and Abann's wife saw him too...and she told Abann and he went mad:rolleyes:....Ireland lost:mad:


    There is a **** hanging around the gate every night and I think he is up to something so I will be investigating that over the next week....Abann gave me a baton and a tourch...so heads will roll...

    My tan is also coming on:)


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  • #67
    Clitlady
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Clitlady


    investment wrote: »
    Ok I'm back due to the amount of pm's I have gotten from my followers....haters going to hate

    A lot has happened in the last week..last Sunday Abann gave me the day off to watch to Ireland match...he loves ireland and wants to buy a house here and visit...anyways myself and roger could find a pub and we could not find beer for the match...but Abann came good even though the beer was warm and tasted like piss:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    We lost and we good hammered and roger stayed the night and took my watch shift

    On Monday Roger ****ed off home....:rolleyes: after 24 hours...so there I was back alone again... drinking warm piss:mad:


    On Tuesday i had to drive over to Mudon half drunk thank **** I was not stopped:o...we got there and back without any protection


    Wednesday was spend watching the gate and the **** who hangs around it


    Thursday was spend watching the ireland game....after Roger got to drunk and pissed in Abann garden:mad::mad:....and Abann's wife saw him too...and she told Abann and he went mad:rolleyes:....Ireland lost:mad:


    There is a **** hanging around the gate every night and I think he is up to something so I will be investigating that over the next week....Abann gave me a baton and a tourch...so heads will roll...

    My tan is also coming on:)


    Thank goodness your alive investment!!


  • #68
    FanadMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    investment wrote: »
    Ok I'm back due to the amount of pm's I have gotten from my followers....haters going to hate

    A lot has happened in the last week..last Sunday Abann gave me the day off to watch to Ireland match...he loves ireland and wants to buy a house here and visit...anyways myself and roger could not find a pub and we could not find beer for the match...but Abann came good even though the beer was warm and tasted like piss:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    We lost and we good hammered and roger stayed the night and took my watch shift

    On Monday Roger ****ed off home....:rolleyes: after 24 hours...so there I was back alone again... drinking warm piss:mad:


    On Tuesday i had to drive over to Mudon half drunk thank **** I was not stopped:o...we got there and back without any Close protection
    needed

    Wednesday was spend watching the gate and the **** who hangs around it


    Thursday was spend watching the ireland game....after Roger got to drunk and pissed in Abann garden:mad::mad:....and Abann's wife saw him too...and she told Abann and he went mad:rolleyes:....Ireland lost:mad:


    There is a **** hanging around the gate every night and I think he is up to something so I will be investigating that over the next week....Abann gave me a baton and a tourch...so heads will roll...

    My tan is also coming on:)

    WOOHOOOOO - mummy didn't block your net access :) Great to hear that the meds still haven't kicked in yet. Trust me, they can take a few months before you notice the difference.

    But we'll all be really upset when they do. It's amazing how different the world seems when you don't see/hear stuff that isn't really there. You'll really feel so much better when Roger and the shake aren't bothering you, but don't forget to get in contact with your nurse/doctor if they talk to you again ;)

    Oh, and please make sure that mummy puts some factor 30 on your skin before you go out in the sun (this is from personal experience and all joking aside....antipsychotic medication can make the skin more sensitive to the sun so please make sure you are covered) :)


  • #69
    goldie fish
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,195 ✭✭✭goldie fish


    Beer? Dubai?


  • #70
    westdub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 690 ✭✭✭westdub


    investment wrote: »
    .anyways myself and roger could not find a pub and we could not find beer for the match...but Abann came good even though the beer was warm and tasted like piss:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    Some pair of gob****es if you cant find a bar or beer in Dubai....:rolleyes:

    Heres a list for your next day out .....

    http://www.dubaicityguide.com/site/entertainment/pubs-bars.asp

    And dont forget the Irish pubs....

    http://www.mcgettigansdubai.com/

    Hang on a min...
    The legal drinking age is 21.
    Perhaps your mom can get you some next time...


  • #71
    Sappa
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 885 ✭✭✭Sappa


    investment wrote: »
    Ok I'm back due to the amount of pm's I have gotten from my followers....haters going to hate

    A lot has happened in the last week..last Sunday Abann gave me the day off to watch to Ireland match...he loves ireland and wants to buy a house here and visit...anyways myself and roger could not find a pub and we could not find beer for the match...but Abann came good even though the beer was warm and tasted like piss:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    We lost and we good hammered and roger stayed the night and took my watch shift

    On Monday Roger ****ed off home....:rolleyes: after 24 hours...so there I was back alone again... drinking warm piss:mad:


    On Tuesday i had to drive over to Mudon half drunk thank **** I was not stopped:o...we got there and back without any Close protection
    needed

    Wednesday was spend watching the gate and the **** who hangs around it


    Thursday was spend watching the ireland game....after Roger got to drunk and pissed in Abann garden:mad::mad:....and Abann's wife saw him too...and she told Abann and he went mad:rolleyes:....Ireland lost:mad:


    There is a **** hanging around the gate every night and I think he is up to something so I will be investigating that over the next week....Abann gave me a baton and a tourch...so heads will roll...

    My tan is also coming on:)
    So glad your back posting Investment,I was worried you were sub contracted out by your employer as a rent boy.
    Your posts and your danger filled life is just like reading a realtime Tom Clancy book.
    Stay safe trooper


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  • #72
    investment
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 573 ✭✭✭investment


    westdub wrote: »
    Some pair of gob****es if you cant find a bar or beer in Dubai....:rolleyes:

    Heres a list for your next day out .....

    http://www.dubaicityguide.com/site/entertainment/pubs-bars.asp

    And dont forget the Irish pubs....

    http://www.mcgettigansdubai.com/

    Hang on a min...Perhaps your mom can get you some next time...


    who are calling a gob****s....Roger would **** you and make you his little bitch....you cnut:mad::mad::mad::mad:....and then I would **** you up too!!

    Perhaps your mom can let me come on her face next time!!!:rolleyes::rolleyes:


  • #73
    davetherave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,442 ✭✭✭davetherave


    investment wrote: »


    who are calling a gob****s....Roger would **** you and make you his little bitch....you cnut:mad::mad::mad::mad:....and then I would **** you up too!!
    Just a little word of advice. This only gets you a 9.5/10. I could feel the anger and outrage but you should have researched your chosen topic a bit further.
    Fyi same sex relations and intercourse are forbidden in saudi Arabia and is punishable by death. Surely you aren't going to being stoned to death just to prove a point. I doubt your boss would be to happy if he knew you kicked with the other foot.


  • #74
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    investment wrote: »
    Ok I'm back due to the amount of pm's I have gotten from my followers....haters going to hate

    A lot has happened in the last week..last Sunday Abann gave me the day off to watch to Ireland match...he loves ireland and wants to buy a house here and visit...anyways myself and roger could not find a pub and we could not find beer for the match...but Abann came good even though the beer was warm and tasted like piss:rolleyes::rolleyes:

    We lost and we good hammered and roger stayed the night and took my watch shift

    On Monday Roger ****ed off home....:rolleyes: after 24 hours...so there I was back alone again... drinking warm piss:mad:


    On Tuesday i had to drive over to Mudon half drunk thank **** I was not stopped:o...we got there and back without any Close protection
    needed

    Wednesday was spend watching the gate and the **** who hangs around it


    Thursday was spend watching the ireland game....after Roger got to drunk and pissed in Abann garden:mad::mad:....and Abann's wife saw him too...and she told Abann and he went mad:rolleyes:....Ireland lost:mad:


    There is a **** hanging around the gate every night and I think he is up to something so I will be investigating that over the next week....Abann gave me a baton and a tourch...so heads will roll...

    My tan is also coming on:)

    glad to hear that your tan is coming on, now lets work on your spelling ??

    As for the "**** hanging around the gate every night" is that just you in the mirror ?

    http://static.flickr.com/3037/3007575664_1fe88363d7.jpg


  • #75
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Owryan wrote: »
    glad to hear that your tan is coming on, now lets work on your spelling ??

    As for the "**** hanging around the gate every night" is that just you in the mirror ?

    http://static.flickr.com/3037/3007575664_1fe88363d7.jpg

    Hey, leave him alone about his spelling - it's tough to type with one hand and get the spelling right ;)

    ......especially when yer Mam is banging on the door shouting "What's going on? You and Roger have been in there a long time!! Are you two wrestling again?":D


  • #76
    Tekken
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Tekken


    This roger sounds like a right operator.

    What's rogers background investment!!!!!
    Sas, seal team 6, delta force, NASA.


  • #77
    westdub
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 690 ✭✭✭westdub


    Tekken wrote: »
    This roger sounds like a right operator.

    What's rogers background investment!!!!!
    Sas, seal team 6, delta force, NASA.

    I'd say it's more likely to be Call Of Duty....:D


  • #78
    Tekken
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Tekken


    westdub wrote: »
    Tekken wrote: »
    This roger sounds like a right operator.

    What's rogers background investment!!!!!
    Sas, seal team 6, delta force, NASA.

    I'd say it's more likely to be Call Of Duty....:D

    The new one or the old one? Rumour is roger completed them all on the hardest level....


  • #79
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    westdub wrote: »
    I'd say it's more likely to be Call Of Duty....:D

    Nah, him and roger are founder members of the SAS - Special Airsoft Service :D


  • #80
    Tekken
    Registered Users Posts: 33 ✭Tekken


    Theres so many holes in the story it's actually hilarious.

    Head of security but yet your doing night shifts at the gate,,,, all you got was a torch and a baton and you had to wait for someone to give you that....
    A Multi billionaires head of security protects him with a maglite and a baton!!!!!


  • #81
    whydave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,062 ✭✭✭whydave


    Tekken wrote: »
    What's rogers background investment!!!!!
    Founding member of Delta Farce all the way !!!


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  • #82
    davetherave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,442 ✭✭✭davetherave


    Tekken wrote: »
    A Multi billionaires head of security protects him with a maglite and a baton!!!!!
    No recession in the UAE anyway. I would have expected him to double up his D-Cell maglite as his baton.


  • #83
    FanadMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    davetherave wrote: »
    No recession in the UAE anyway. I would have expected him to double up his D-Cell maglite as his baton.

    This means he has two battons - Bruce Lee all the way. Those baddies have no chance now :)


  • #84
    Cookie_Monster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,522 ✭✭✭✭Cookie_Monster


    goldie fish wrote: »
    Beer? Dubai?

    There's an awful lot of beer to be had in Dubai...


  • #85
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    I assume @investment will be updating this diary soon - the Junior Cert finished yesterday :)


    I, for one, can't wait for the next installment.


  • #86
    Tabnabs
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 15,751 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tabnabs


    @investment, I have a new mission for you.

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2012/0627/1224318806188.html


  • #87
    ChunkyLover_53
    Closed Accounts Posts: 901 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover_53


    investments last post


    I check this thread every other day & can now only assume due to the inactivity of the OP and the evidence of his/her last post that he was in Dubai & that Lacura suncare IS dangerous and dos not work.


    I believe a combination of the intense desert sun, Lacura suncare & his/her pale blue Irish skin he/she has combusted ála the Nuclear Detenation scene in T2: Judgement Day


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr9wyy54P6A



    RIP investment the world is a little bit more unsecure...or should that be more secure?


  • #88
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Roger went on a deep penetration mission with @investment and has gone 'dark' (apparently he likes a bit of 'dark' does old @investment).

    Anyway, I propose we launch a rescue mission like Operation Eagle Claw, only it'll be called Operation Sparrow Fart.

    The objective will be to relieve @investment and Roger, manually if necessary, and deliver them from bondage captivity.

    First phase - fund raising. Please pm me for details of the Ulster Bank account into which donations can be paid to finance this operation.

    Once I've raised about €10,000 I propose to set off to Dubai to pick up their trail. I promise to leave no McDonald's unvisited (to see if I can find the shake), no beer undrank and no truncheon unsniffed in the search for these brave boys.

    If I have to spend weeks visiting every bar in Dubai and drink beer there I will, I promise.

    Also, to blend in with the locals I'll need to buy some sheets, and if anyone has any contacts in Dublin Zoo can they let me know as it might be better to travel with my own camel, rather than rent one there.

    Once I locate them, I'll send for the extraction team - any volunteers to come and pull these lads off out? If you have your own chopper that would be useful, but if not I'm sure Roger will get his out for everyone to have a ride on it.

    Have I missed anything?


  • #89
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    Jawgap wrote: »
    Roger went on a deep penetration mission with @investment and has gone 'dark' (apparently he likes a bit of 'dark' does old @investment).

    Anyway, I propose we launch a rescue mission like Operation Eagle Claw, only it'll be called Operation Sparrow Fart.

    The objective will be to relieve @investment and Roger, manually if necessary, and deliver them from bondage captivity.

    First phase - fund raising. Please pm me for details of the Ulster Bank account into which donations can be paid to finance this operation.

    Once I've raised about €10,000 I propose to set off to Dubai to pick up their trail. I promise to leave no McDonald's unvisited (to see if I can find the shake), no beer undrank and no truncheon unsniffed in the search for these brave boys.

    If I have to spend weeks visiting every bar in Dubai and drink beer there I will, I promise.

    Also, to blend in with the locals I'll need to buy some sheets, and if anyone has any contacts in Dublin Zoo can they let me know as it might be better to travel with my own camel, rather than rent one there.

    Once I locate them, I'll send for the extraction team - any volunteers to come and pull these lads off out? If you have your own chopper that would be useful, but if not I'm sure Roger will get his out for everyone to have a ride on it.

    Have I missed anything?

    We'll need a red shirted ensign named Kowalski to take the blame if it goes tits up, other than that it seems a foolproof plan.


  • #90
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    Jawgap wrote: »
    Anyway, I propose we launch a rescue mission like Operation Eagle Claw, only it'll be called Operation Sparrow Fart.


    Have I missed anything?

    Dont forget to look up one way streets for a car facing the wrong way


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  • #91
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Owryan wrote: »
    Dont forget to look up one way streets for a car facing the wrong way

    How will I know it's a one way street? I don't Dubarabic :(


  • #92
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    Jawgap wrote: »
    How will I know it's a one way street? I don't Dubarabic :(

    If you find investy, ask him, he ll know :D


  • #93
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Day one......

    Dublin... ****; I'm still only in Dublin... Every time I think I'm gonna wake up back in Meath.

    When I was home after my dinner last night, it was worse.

    I'd switch on the television and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a cup of tea and chocolate digestive. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the city. I'm here a week now... waiting for a mission... getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Roger squats in the bush, he gets stronger. Each time I looked around the walls moved in a little tighter.


  • #94
    Grizzly 45
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,076 ✭✭✭✭Grizzly 45


    ex_infantry man wrote: »
    my question to you investment is!!! who did you do your close protection course with over here in ireland???

    Proably with his most highness ,lord supreme,saviour of the universe and ender of the cold war Lord Baron Jim Shortt aka Jimbo,"Gym Short" of Castle Short, Co Louth.
    www.arrse.co.uk search James Shortt or Baron Short in the Walt section for a fasinating read of Walting supreme and his downfall.:D

    OR he went to the same airsoft course in CP and international freelance bolixology that got Micheal Dwyer killed.:(

    They are out there alright !!!

    "If you want to keep someone away from your house, Just fire the shotgun through the door."

    Vice President [and former lawyer] Joe Biden Field& Stream Magazine interview Feb 2013 "



  • #95
    BigDuffman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,512 ✭✭✭BigDuffman


    Jaw gap can we have cool code names if we join up? I'm going to attach a digital camera to a giant paper aeroplane so we can have UAVs?


  • #96
    cyrusdvirus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,752 ✭✭✭cyrusdvirus


    BigDuffman wrote: »
    Jaw gap can we have cool code names if we join up? I'm going to attach a digital camera to a giant paper aeroplane so we can have UAVs?

    We'll need something with a bit more control.

    i suggest these.
    http://www.toys.ie/20cm-3Channel-GViator-Helicopter-!122984-prd.aspx?qwSessionID=cda673eb-a3ca-4e8a-bd3d-b8bd02f89731

    They can even be armed with infra red beams to disrupt the evil shakes telly watching and control traffic lights.


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  • #97
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    No update on rogered in Dubai; I'll have to dig out some Tom Clancy instead for my fix.


  • #98
    FanadMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,820 ✭✭✭FanadMan


    Think we gonna have to hire the A Team to go looking for them. Anyone know their phone number?


  • #99
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,297 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    BigDuffman wrote: »
    Jaw gap can we have cool code names if we join up? I'm going to attach a digital camera to a giant paper aeroplane so we can have UAVs?

    Yes, your codename can be obtained from here....

    http://online-generator.com/name-generator/codename-generator.php

    We also need a password so we can recognise each other - here it is (I've protected from prying eyes using spoiler tags)
    tits out

    Operation Sparrowfart - UPDATE

    I arrived in Dubai with the money supplied by you all (Thank you). The people here are a lot friendlier than @investment led us to believe.

    I am close to completing one part of the mission - I've had loads of offers from gentlemen when I asked for a Roger - I just need to make sure it's the right Roger, there's obviously more than one here because one chap and his ten friends all said they could give me a Roger. I've agreed to meet them later because I think one of them must have 'our' Roger considering how excited he got when I told him about what I wanted.

    I have already retained the services of a local fixer who is part Irish, part Arab - his name is Abdul Abhaile.

    For safe keeping I gave him the $10,000 and told him to put it somewhere safe. He is a good man, and I know the money is very safe as he has travelled far to stash it. When he comes back, I'll find out where.

    The place teems with spies and brigands. It seems everyone could be potential assassins and I've been warned about ass-bandits too - I assume this means people are worried someone might steal the camel.

    To make it easier to move around I've disguised myself as a woman and I'm wearing a niqab. This will make it difficult for the support team to find me, so when you travel out here the easiest thing is probably to approach women and use the password above.

    Also be advised, the stun grenades I used on my last mission have left me partially deaf in one eye so you will have to shout the password. Alternatively, you could have it printed on some t-shirts and wear those and I will find you.

    Thank you for agreeing to provide some UAV cover, but will Dubai traffic lights be able to understand Irish infra-red?


  • #100
    whydave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,062 ✭✭✭whydave


    Any update ?????


  • #101
    Clitlady
    Registered Users Posts: 50 ✭✭Clitlady


    Jawgap wrote: »
    Yes, your codename can be obtained from here....

    http://online-generator.com/name-generator/codename-generator.php

    We also need a password so we can recognise each other - here it is (I've protected from prying eyes using spoiler tags)
    tits out

    Operation Sparrowfart - UPDATE

    I arrived in Dubai with the money supplied by you all (Thank you). The people here are a lot friendlier than @investment led us to believe.

    I am close to completing one part of the mission - I've had loads of offers from gentlemen when I asked for a Roger - I just need to make sure it's the right Roger, there's obviously more than one here because one chap and his ten friends all said they could give me a Roger. I've agreed to meet them later because I think one of them must have 'our' Roger considering how excited he got when I told him about what I wanted.

    I have already retained the services of a local fixer who is part Irish, part Arab - his name is Abdul Abhaile.

    For safe keeping I gave him the $10,000 and told him to put it somewhere safe. He is a good man, and I know the money is very safe as he has travelled far to stash it. When he comes back, I'll find out where.

    The place teems with spies and brigands. It seems everyone could be potential assassins and I've been warned about ass-bandits too - I assume this means people are worried someone might steal the camel.

    To make it easier to move around I've disguised myself as a woman and I'm wearing a niqab. This will make it difficult for the support team to find me, so when you travel out here the easiest thing is probably to approach women and use the password above.

    Also be advised, the stun grenades I used on my last mission have left me partially deaf in one eye so you will have to shout the password. Alternatively, you could have it printed on some t-shirts and wear those and I will find you.

    Thank you for agreeing to provide some UAV cover, but will Dubai traffic lights be able to understand Irish infra-red?


    I laughed so hard at this piss came out!


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