Close Security Diary in Dangerous Terrain

investment

Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
being compromised.

This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


The weather is good its over 30 degrees today

Morpheus

Is that shakai hislop or shakai khan!?



Investment on duty:

goldie fish

Dear investment.

I have discovered hair growing on the strangest places on my body. Is this normal. Do you want to see?

Regards etc.

A Man.

BigDuffman

Dear Investment,

I have been considering a career in Private Security. But I have a problem you may be able to help me with, I am a very handsome man, I also have amazing soldiering skills (honed by years of reading andy mcnabb books and watching ultimate force on repeat) and a body envied by adonis himself, a lot of traits shared by yourself. I'm worried that if I go to Muslamic country all their wimminz will be instantly wet and throw off their burkas and try have sex with me.

I know you have had a similar problem recently with roger and that incident involving the bikers and paddling pool of baby oil. What would you reccomend that I do in order to avoid offending their beliefs? As, aswell as being an awesome soldier and handsome I am sensitive and culturally aware.

Would you reccomend I avoid arsless chaps and desert boots? Or should I stick to the the standard jeans and baseball cap PSD chic?

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Dear Investment,

Can you please have a word with "FANTAPANTS" and "IRISHREDSTAR", who may or may not be sharing the same brain.

I think they would benefit from you and Roger "educating" them on military matters.

investment

Ok men cope the fcuk on :mad::mad:...I'm giving up my time when I could be out chasing black pussey and looking around dubai and shopping


Anymore stupid questions and your post will be reported. I've been asked to write this diary after receiving lots of pm's asking how I'm getting on being a CS in dubai

bodyguard1

Just came across your thread entitled Close Security Diary in Dangerous Terrain

Firstly I think the only danger there is in that Terrain, is YOU ! I'm hoping that you are really some 16 year old Walter Mitty type character sitting in the safety of their bedroom under the Close Protection of your parents roof because if you are for real and indeed recently appointed to the position of Head of Security for some well know shaki (as you so elegantly describe yourself) I feel sorry for your client, as I think his life is in serious danger !

If you are in fact contracted to the position you describe, and this blog is for genuine, I have learned a lot about a career in security abroad that obviously their standards are extremely low as you were hired to protect a WELL KNOWN figure in Dubai who is worth Billions.

It won't be too hard for the terrorists to track down your BOSS as he will be the one with bright red Paddy not wearing a T-shirt wandering approximately 30 feet behind him with his hands in his pockets enjoying the lovely weather.

twinytwo

to walter mitty with this drivel

Kat1170

Is it really called Dubai beacuse when you go there you Dubai lots of stuff 'cos its really cheap

goldie fish

Kat1170 wrote: »

Is it really called Dubai beacuse when you go there you Dubai lots of stuff 'cos its really cheap

It is called Dubai because the irish built their oil infastructure. The Locals were so impressed, now that they had enough wealth to create an independant arab state, they were most thankful to the Irish workers, and wished to name the land in their honour.

One of the Sheiks went to an irish builder, about to depart for his less sunny home in cork and asked
"Can I name this land after your people?"

The corkman replied...


DO BOY!

Owryan

goldie fish wrote: »

Kat1170 wrote: »

Is it really called Dubai beacuse when you go there you Dubai lots of stuff 'cos its really cheap

It is called Dubai because the irish built their oil infastructure. The Locals were so impressed, now that they had enough wealth to create an independant arab state, they were most thankful to the Irish workers, and wished to name the land in their honour.

One of the Sheiks went to an irish builder, about to depart for his less sunny home in cork and asked
"Can I name this land after your people?"

The corkman replied...


DO BOY!

That story has a greater ring of truth to it than the OP's

Jawgap

investment wrote: »

Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
being compromised.

This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


The weather is good its over 30 degrees today

I've never been to Dubai (apart to fly through it's airport), but I have been to other parts of the UAE and to Oman further along the coast and I would observe the following from your statement........

1 - what you're doing is close protection, not close security

2 - progressive and all as the Dubai Police Force are, I doubt they'd overlook a modesty offence as you describe - also, given the importance of dresscode in the UAE, I doubt your boss would have tolerated you going shirtless for whatever reason because your behaviour reflects on him, his family and his company (and even his tribe, depending on how traditional his outlook is) - if you got lifted by the cops he would drop you quicker than soggy jocks for what would be regarded as dishonourable and disrespectful behaviour

3 - this time of year the weather is always over 30 degrees in UAE - daytime temps get well over 40 and even at night it's over 30 degrees (desert temps can top 50!)

4 - I may be wrong on this one, but I think the Al Maktoum family own all the oilfields (or perhaps the state does) and licences exploitation of them to other companies - are you claiming to work for the Dubai Royal Family?

If you are going to post crap, at least make it well researched crap......

investment

Jawgap wrote: »

I've never been to Dubai (apart to fly through it's airport), but I have been to other parts of the UAE and to Oman further along the coast and I would observe the following from your statement........

1 - what you're doing is close protection, not close security

2 - progressive and all as the Dubai Police Force are, I doubt they'd overlook a modesty offence as you describe - also, given the importance of dresscode in the UAE, I doubt your boss would have tolerated you going shirtless for whatever reason because your behaviour reflects on him, his family and his company (and even his tribe, depending on how traditional his outlook is) - if you got lifted by the cops he would drop you quicker than soggy jocks for what would be regarded as dishonourable and disrespectful behaviour

3 - this time of year the weather is always over 30 degrees in UAE - daytime temps get well over 40 and even at night it's over 30 degrees (desert temps can top 50!)

4 - I may be wrong on this one, but I think the Al Maktoum family own all the oilfields (or perhaps the state does) and licences exploitation of them to other companies - are you claiming to work for the Dubai Royal Family?

If you are going to post crap, at least make it well researched crap......

First off if your going to post shoite about me here get your facts right or I'll put another gap in your jaw.

I'm in dubai working and I could not give a fcuk about you..sitting a home on the dole. While I live the dream

This is a diary not an inquire you MOG:mad::mad:

Tabnabs

investment wrote: »

Ok as many of you know I moved to dubai recently to start my new job. I will be head of security for a well know shakai who his worth billions through his oil fields. I'll update you on day to day events without security
being compromised.

This thread can answer a lot of questions for those who are considering a job in security abroad.

I've had a few minor run ins with the law over not wearing a tee shirt the first day I arrived.however my boss was able to save my ass (which sounds Irony when I should be saving his ass)


The weather is good its over 30 degrees today

"Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it"

Jawgap

investment wrote: »

First off if your going to post shoite about me here get your facts right or I'll put another gap in your jaw.

I'm in dubai working and I could not give a fcuk about you..sitting a home on the dole. While I live the dream

This is a diary not an inquire you MOG:mad::mad:

What's happening now (right now) in Dubai?

helimachoptor

Jawgap wrote: »

What's happening now (right now) in Dubai?

Off to google "current activities in Dubai":pac::pac::pac:

Erm Sunshine??

fenris

investment wrote: »

sitting at home on the dole. While I live in a dream

Fixed that for you

Jawgap

helimachoptor wrote: »

Off to google "current activities in Dubai":pac::pac::pac:

Erm Sunshine??

Wrong!!:D

Friday prayers - the place will be dead quiet until Jumu'ah ends in about 5 minutes (starts at mid-day and depending on the sermon can go on for 90 minutes or more). Today is like Sunday!

@investment is probably waiting for his boss outside the mosque and he can't tell us which mosque so the next one for him is an easy one.......

your boss' family - Shi'a or Sunni?

cyrusdvirus

awww lads lets let investment be investment.

he's much funnier when he thinks people are playing along.

we all know he's a wum, probably something along the lines of that fat kid in the airsoft gear, but its more fun when we pretend to take him seriously.

Anyway, no doubt manic will be along shortly so i'm IBTM

(in before the move)

Morpheus

ok... humour me

what equipment are you carrying when on close protection,

are you armed, overtly or covertly?

pistol or rifle or both?

with what weapon if you ARE armed?

what kind of holster,

have you body armour,

how many rounds are you carrying?

have you done and defensive driving courses?

what level of protection does the vehicle offer?

what kind of vehicle is it?

etc

Jawgap

Morphéus wrote: »

ok... humour me

what equipment are you carrying when on close protection,

are you armed, overtly or covertly?

pistol or rifle or both?

with what weapon if you ARE armed?

what kind of holster,

have you body armour,

how many rounds are you carrying?

have you done and defensive driving courses?

what level of protection does the vehicle offer?

what kind of vehicle is it?

etc

What kind of nonsense questions are those - the only question that matters for close protection personnel is......

.........Oakleys or Ray Bans

@investment, I suggest you read this before posting further......

Harry Bosch.

Lad's, i think i know who it is! Its Frank Framer from "The Bodyguard". Since Whitney Houston passed away this chap is obviously in demand!!

investment

Diary 2

Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week

whydave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00Kvyw7AEKU

Watch your back man !!!! and remember to drink as much beer as you can that heat can be a killer !!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YADH-QSSaxk

twinytwo

investment wrote: »

Diary 2

Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week

:eek: you dont say.....

Sappa

investment wrote: »

Diary 2

Ok I finished for the night its 10 to 10 and i'm ****ed the weather is warm and the days are long

I think I should be clear on my role ...I drive for my boss and I offer close protection. I have the skills required for this course. I got this job through roger who has been in the business for over 10 years

I get paid every month so I'm living on the money I brough over. Its no that expensive as I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free. I work 16 hour days and I get paid 60Dirhams an hour

I only have the one incident today which involved driving up a one way street because the signs were in arabic. The police were on my back within seconds and pulled us over. They would not accept my Irish drivers license and I need a UAE licence and they would not let me drive the skake home...so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road waiting for his bulter to get a taxi and drive us home....I got some filty looks on the way home would be an under statement:rolleyes:


I'm meeting up with roger sunday and we are going on a pussy patrol so hopefully I get some photos up next week

What balarney,I had a good laugh at least.
investment having spent a few years in the middle east I can tell you that no police officer would dare to leave a sheik at the side of the road,also its next to impossible for them to be pulled over as they have a diplomatic number plate.
How in the hell would you be hired without the proper papers,as I have a cousin in this industry I am going to cut this short as I know a bit abput the protocol of hiring for these roles,can you enlighten us to your military background or what qualifies you to protect the royals in Dubai.
Would that be Roger Melly the man on the telly?

Tekken

Right im a long time lurker here.

60 Emirati Dirham is 13 Euro an hour...... Absolute spoof merchant.

The girls on the checkout in dunnes are on nearly that....... but your getting 13 Euro an hour to do close protection for a sheikh thats a billionaire.
Someone would want to tell blackwater (xe) that their paying to much!!!

RMD

To people who are unaware of Investment's previous work he's either one of 2

1) Mentally deluded and living in a fantasy realm
2) Some kid taking the piss with ridiculous stories, spoofs and claims.

Personally I think it could be 1. It's seem to have gone beyond the point of it being a pisstake at this stage.

Jawgap

investment wrote: »

.......so they we were shake and myself sitting on the side of the road ........

Chocolate or strawberry?

ChunkyLover_53

OP said it was 10 to 10 yet you posted @ 1929hrs...2hr time difference to Dubai which means it should have been 2129hrs. Your watch is knackered.

4 meals a day? 2nd breakfast? are you a Hobbit?

Don't even know why I'm posting the guy is nuts, still good fun though.

Tekken

I can't wait to hear what kind of crazy wild adventures they get upto

ex_infantry man

my question to you investment is!!! who did you do your close protection course with over here in ireland???

Donny5

ChunkyLover_53 wrote: »

2hr time difference to Dubai

Dubai is 3 hours ahead of IST.

ChunkyLover_53

Donny5 wrote: »

Dubai is 3 hours ahead of IST.

Thanks for confirming that...but his time is still wrong.

Donny5

ChunkyLover_53 wrote: »

Thanks for confirming that...but his time is still wrong.

Not necessarily. He submitted the post at 1929, which would be 2229 Dubai time. He mentioned the time (10 to 10) in the second sentence of his post. If it took him 39 minutes to finish the next two odd paragraphs, and we can't rule out that kind of attention to detail from Investment, then his timing could check out.

R.Dub.Fusilier

is the OP David Ike ?

Owryan

Hmm I have my doubts, 16 hour days? Must be very tiring ?

I would also be having doubts if that "shake" were my boss, I mean he hired you as a driver in an arab country, which has it road signs in arabic, a language you either cannot or barely understand. Even worse he is letting you drive with an invalid licence, and as a result placed placed both himself and you in great jeopardy.

Delancey

From a ' people watching ' perspective this is a fascinating thread , I've never seen a ' Walt ' in action close up , the story has more holes than a collander.

endacl

Donny5 wrote: »

ChunkyLover_53 wrote: »

Thanks for confirming that...but his time is still wrong.

Not necessarily. He submitted the post at 1929, which would be 2229 Dubai time. He mentioned the time (10 to 10) in the second sentence of his post. If it took him 39 minutes to finish the next two odd paragraphs, and we can't rule out that kind of attention to detail from Investment, then his timing could check out.

Those were odd paragraphs indeed. Maybe he spent the 39 minutes checking his spelling. No... wait, he didn't do that.

Maybe his English teacher could help in this regard when he goes back to school in September.

goldie fish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDUm1geAUlw

A song about investment.

Jawgap

investment wrote: »

Diary 2

.....I get my meals 4 times a day and I have a house near the front gate for free.

Ramadan starts next month (it'll be a toughie this year because it's during the summer) - what are the plans for feeding you then?

cyrusdvirus

Uh-oh. Vesty is NOT going to be happy now that his latest piece of fiction has been consigned to Walt land.

John_D80

goldie fish wrote: »

It is called Dubai because the irish built their oil infastructure. The Locals were so impressed, now that they had enough wealth to create an independant arab state, they were most thankful to the Irish workers, and wished to name the land in their honour.

One of the Sheiks went to an irish builder, about to depart for his less sunny home in cork and asked
"Can I name this land after your people?"

The corkman replied...


DO BOY!

First time I heard that one i nearly fell off my dinosaur! :-)

cyrusdvirus

John_D80 wrote: »

goldie fish wrote: »

It is called Dubai because the irish built their oil infastructure. The Locals were so impressed, now that they had enough wealth to create an independant arab state, they were most thankful to the Irish workers, and wished to name the land in their honour.

One of the Sheiks went to an irish builder, about to depart for his less sunny home in cork and asked
"Can I name this land after your people?"

The corkman replied...


DO BOY!

First time I heard that one i nearly fell off my dinosaur! :-)

You have a pet dinosaur?? Cool!!

goldie fish

John_D80 wrote: »

First time I heard that one i nearly fell off my dinosaur! :-)

It must be true if its that old.

investment

Why has this been moved to walter mitty?

Lock this thread NOW!!!....Its all about give and take and you keep taking and not giving...so you can all fo F youselves now....YOU DONT DESERVE MY KNOWNLEDGE

twinytwo

investment wrote: »

Why has this been moved to walter mitty?

Lock this thread NOW!!!....Its all about give and take and you keep taking and not giving...so you can all fo F youselves now....YOU DONT DESERVE MY KNOWNLEDGE

why do you think it got moved:rolleyes:

goldie fish

investment wrote: »

Why has this been moved to walter mitty?

Lock this thread NOW!!!....Its all about give and take and you keep taking and not giving...so you can all fo F youselves now....YOU DONT DESERVE MY KNOWNLEDGE

You are a known ledge. Totally.

Sappa

investment wrote: »

Why has this been moved to walter mitty?

Lock this thread NOW!!!....Its all about give and take and you keep taking and not giving...so you can all fo F youselves now....YOU DONT DESERVE MY KNOWNLEDGE

By the way what defensive weapon do you carry and are allowed legally carry in Dubai?

whydave

Found a new picture of 'investment' on Cnn Link here

ex_infantry man

a trip to a mental hospital for a break is in order for ya investment