What made you smile/frown/mad/sad/cry today-thread for all your emotional needs! V5

IvyTheTerrible · 04-05-2012 8:32am

Well the annoying mosquito net has to come out already...my arm looks like a pincushion this morning, I got eaten alive. Bastard even got me on my face! The mosquito drowned in my glass of water though, so that made me feel better, mwahahahaha!

cynder · 04-05-2012 8:37am

Kitteetrix

Got my fingers and toes crossed for you and your hubby, hope it's good news you get..

Can't imagine what you must be going through.

Hugs

04-05-2012 8:38am

Oh kt, best wishes

im sure it'll be something benign.
Xxx

lilmissprincess · 04-05-2012 8:59am

Today will be a good day; and I will study this evening after work. Oh yes.

*hugs for the ladies*

mariebeth · 04-05-2012 9:18am

Hugs to kityeetrix

Hugs to Jane. - just wondering Jane, did your mum's attitude change happen before or since you started going out with the bf? If it's happened since, maybe she thinks she's lost you as her friend and is using the attitude as a defensive mechanism?

Good luck to all the ladies doing exams today.

Taking the morning off from studying & I'm going horse riding

it's the best way for me to unwind!

Acoshla · 04-05-2012 9:22am

Kitteetrix (I can't spell your new name!) hope everything's ok with your hubby xx

The weirdest thing happened this morning, I woke up with my engagement ring on my middle finger instead of my ring finger...where it has to be wedged on as it's too small for it. How did that happen? Did I really go to the bother of taking it off one finger and forcing it onto the other finger in my sleep?

Novella · 04-05-2012 9:28am

Today I'm getting a manicure and lots of waxing. I'm a little bit scared 'cause ouch but excited too.

Ilyana · 04-05-2012 9:31am

KittyeeTrix, I hope everything turns out okay for your husband xx
Hope you feel better soon Jane xx

Mah head hurts

There's a Chilean dude asleep in the kitchen so I can't get some water to take a painkiller. Also, I miss my boyfriend

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 9:47am

Thanks guys, I feel a little bit better today. Got a little bit of sleep and woke up feeling okay.

@mariebeth - I don't think she's changed since then, I think it's actually way before that. The time of my leaving cert and starting college in Athlone (2006/2007) seems to stick out in my mind for some reason. She seemed to want her own way and pushed me into doing things at that time. I know I make her sound horrible but she's still my mam and I love her. I just feel like she can be hard to deal with and so hard to talk to sometimes and it gets me down.

Stench Blossoms · 04-05-2012 9:50am

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

Thanks guys, I feel a little bit better today. Got a little bit of sleep and woke up feeling okay.

@mariebeth - I don't think she's changed since then, I think it's actually way before that. The time of my leaving cert and starting college in Athlone (2006/2007) seems to stick out in my mind for some reason. She seemed to want her own way and pushed me into doing things at that time. I know I make her sound horrible but she's still my mam and I love her. I just feel like she can be hard to deal with and so hard to talk to sometimes and it gets me down.

I think you need to move out.

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 9:54am

@StenchBlossoms I would if I could afford it.

Stench Blossoms · 04-05-2012 10:06am

Are you on the dole? I'm not sure how this works but can you apply for social housing?

confusticated · 04-05-2012 10:14am

EmilyO wrote: »

KittyeeTrix, I hope everything turns out okay for your husband xx
Hope you feel better soon Jane xx

Mah head hurts There's a Chilean dude asleep in the kitchen so I can't get some water to take a painkiller. Also, I miss my boyfriend

Is this one of the flatmate's loud friends? Wake him up! Don't be intimidated out of your own kitchen!

Hope it's all okay KittyeeTrix, must be horrible just waiting and not knowing. Fingers crossed for ye.

rebel girl 15 · 04-05-2012 10:16am

Acoshla wrote: »

Kitteetrix (I can't spell your new name!) hope everything's ok with your hubby xx

I keep mentally replacing it with fluffy!! Hope your husband is okay fluffy, fingers crossed for you both

I can kinda type with my right hand - repetitive strain injury of typing

Two and a half years after being referred to an orthopaedic surgeon for the problems with my knee, I got the appointment this morning.

Everyone has said it to me how happy I look this morning - must have looked like hell yesterday!

KittyeeTrix · 04-05-2012 10:16am

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

Are you on the dole? I'm not sure how this works but can you apply for social housing?

Even if she was it would take about 6+ years to be socially housed.....Definitely not as easy as people think to get social housing.

One of my friends moms suffered 3 massive heart attacks and died yesterday in hospital. My hubby met her daughter down near the shop. the poor woman only went to A and E as she was vomiting quite a bit....................So shocking and totally unexpected:(:(

Thanks again for all the well wishes guys. spoke with him this morning and he said he felt better going into the place yesterday before he was subjected to the breakfast there this morning!! haha, he still has his sense of humour anyway!

mariebeth · 04-05-2012 10:28am

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

@mariebeth - I don't think she's changed since then, I think it's actually way before that. The time of my leaving cert and starting college in Athlone (2006/2007) seems to stick out in my mind for some reason. She seemed to want her own way and pushed me into doing things at that time. I know I make her sound horrible but she's still my mam and I love her. I just feel like she can be hard to deal with and so hard to talk to sometimes and it gets me down.

Hugs Jane xxx. My mum can be tough at times as well, but I know she has suffered from depression for years, and I've finally figured out the best way of reacting to her moods. I'm lucky in that it doesn't happen very often anymore, but I have a small idea of what it's like to live with someone who can be like that from time to time.

Ilyana · 04-05-2012 10:43am

confusticated wrote: »

Is this one of the flatmate's loud friends? Wake him up! Don't be intimidated out of your own kitchen!

This is the other housemate :rolleyes:
I just went in there earlier, feck them. I'm pretty much ignoring them and they probably think I'm a b**** but I don't really care, I don't want them here and she had no right inviting them to stay during the exams. She only asked if it was okay last Sunday, when they were arriving on Tuesday morning. Clearly she'd arranged it all before asking us like.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just sick to the back teeth of this apartment. Can't wait to go home for the summer.

Jane, I know your mam is tough to live with, it must suck. If it were me I'd just leave the room the second she started kicking off about something, so she'd know I'm not standing for it. But I know it's tough when it's family, and you miss being close to her. *hugs*

krudler · 04-05-2012 10:46am

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

@StenchBlossoms I would if I could afford it.

Houseshare?

The Big Red Button · 04-05-2012 10:51am

krudler wrote: »

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

@StenchBlossoms I would if I could afford it.

Houseshare?

And wouldn't you be entitled to rent allowance?

Dolbert · 04-05-2012 11:00am

chatterpillar wrote: »

And wouldn't you be entitled to rent allowance?

You need to be renting somewhere for 6 months before you can get rent allowance afaik. I think you would get full social welfare allowance if no longer living at home though.

Jane, if you're interested you could get a room in a houseshare in Laois for €40 a week, it's probably no more than you're paying your mother in rent and keep as it is. Does your bf live at home too? If so it might be nice for the two of you to have some space to yourselves!

Stench Blossoms · 04-05-2012 11:07am

Yeh sorry I was thinking more along the lines of rent allowance.

Good idea dolorus, was just gonna say the same myself.

How much rent are you giving your mother at the moment jane?

cynder · 04-05-2012 11:55am

Jane house sharing isn't too bad, it can be fun too. I was house sharing for 3 years before I got a place of my own. I was 16 when I left home and 19 when I got a place of my own. Electric is split 3 or 4 ways so isn't that expensive and rent is around 40 a week.

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 11:59am

I'm giving my mam 50 at the moment. Ah I don't know if I can move out tbh, I am thinking about it though. Thanks for the advice guys, I appreciate it a lot.

Got my hair done and I'm now sitting in McDonalds eating a McChicken Sandwich and reading Catching Fire.

rainbow kirby · 04-05-2012 12:03pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I'm giving my mam 50 at the moment. Ah I don't know if I can move out tbh, I am thinking about it though. Thanks for the advice guys, I appreciate it a lot.

Jane, your sanity is worth a lot, and it sounds like your family home is a bit of a toxic environment. Even if it does make things very tight financially, you would be far better off out of there.

My brother is in a similar situation with my parents at the moment, himself and my dad have the worst personality clash I have ever seen, and they argue all the time over the most stupid things. Unfortunately he refuses to cut down on booze for long enough to get a deposit together...

Bubblefett · 04-05-2012 12:06pm

Thinking of you KittyeeTrix! Xx sounds like you both have a good attitude about the whole thing though. We're all here for you

Jane I'm so sorry about tough you're having it. How is she with your brother? Is he getting it as hard?
PM is open if you want to talk love xx

Going to go take care of my poor niece and nephew for the day, she's got tonsilitis and he had on of those big freestanding basketball nets fall on him today! Thank god it fell in such a way that the bar landed between his legs, had he been any higher or lower he would have been seriously hurt or worse :eek:
He has brusied his little man parts though and is feeling very sorry for himself poor sod.

Susie_Q · 04-05-2012 12:09pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

@StenchBlossoms I would if I could afford it.

If you're already paying your Mum €50 per week in rent then you CAN afford to move out.

The Big Red Button · 04-05-2012 12:12pm

Jane no matter how tough it is at first, it sounds like you really need to get out of that house! My relationships with my parents improved enormously from when I moved out - we went from constant tension and fights, to being extremely close and much more respectful of each other. I think that almost all of my friends would say the same!

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:13pm

It's really not as simple as you all say. You don't really know what she's like.

@bubblefett she's the same with my brother. She's almost forcing him to do a course he doesn't really want to do just because he can go to and from the college on a bus everyday.

cynder · 04-05-2012 12:16pm

Jane it may be scary but you will be free, you can do what you want when you want, also your relationship with your mom could improve as you won't be seeing her 24/7. your not abandoning your family, you will be independent able to make your own choices...

You need to stand your ground, your a woman, an adult, make the adult choice and Look into it... You can't live under your mother thumb for the rest of your life.

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:17pm

I will look into it, thanks.

I just feel sad that I have to.

Looks like I'm gonna hear nothing about the job I applied for so I could be back in college in September.

Susie_Q · 04-05-2012 12:17pm

Well to put it bluntly, you have two choices.

1. Stand up to your mother like an adult and move out.

2. Stay where you are and live in misery.

Your choice. Sorry to be blunt but you're always complaining about your mother but never doing anything about it.

WesternNight · 04-05-2012 12:18pm

KittyeeTrix wrote: »

My husband had a sharp fleeting headache over the past 2 days so I made him go to our doctor this morning.

He sent him to A and E to be checked out. They did a Cat Scan and found a golfball size growth in his brain.:(

Have to wait for an MRI tomorrow to send to Beaumont so they can determine excactly what they are dealing with......

I'm scared and tired and still have to try to study like a mad thing.

I'm praying that it is just a simple cyst that can be drained or removed and not present any longterm problems but anything with the head is scary!!

That's such a shock to get, but hopefully it'll be nothing serious and easily resolved.

And you can always defer your exams if you need/want to. I'm pretty sure this kind of thing counts as "exceptional circumstances"!

Fingers crossed all turns out well

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:19pm

I just won't mention it again then because nobody understands. I've tried time and time again to stand up to her and she twists it back and says I'm being ungrateful. Some of you probably think I am but I'm really not that kind of person.

Bubblefett · 04-05-2012 12:20pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

It's really not as simple as you all say. You don't really know what she's like.

Ah that's fair enough, no family relationship is black and white and we don't know all the details of your family life. I just don't think any of us like to see you upset xx
Think about it anyway, you never know maybe if she sees you researching the possibility of moving out (maybe viewing a room or 2) it'll help her understand how unhappy you are. And who knows, you might absolutly fall in love with one of the places

(And may I just say, living away from home is great for the (ahem) relationship with the boyfriend

)

cynder · 04-05-2012 12:20pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I will look into it, thanks. I just feel sad that I have to.

r.

Don't be sad, everyone leaves home. Can't live with mammy forever.

It's great to be able to do what you want, when you want and how you want....

Think of yourself organize everything then when you can move in, drop it on her, don't tell her of your intentions or she will persuade you to stay. Just say one morning I'm moving out, I've paid the deposite you can come visit me when I'm settled, love you mom bye.

Hugs

The Big Red Button · 04-05-2012 12:21pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

It's really not as simple as you all say. You don't really know what she's like.

But it shouldn't matter what she's like? You have your own life to live, no matter how she reacts or what her opinions are. It's not healthy to live in that sort of an environment.

I do understand that the initial process of you moving out will be very upsetting and difficult for both of you. But I honestly think that, once you get out of there and get a bit of perspective on the whole thing, you'll begin to see the situation the way that the rest of us do.

The way things are now, you don't seem happy at all, and it doesn't sound like she is, either. The sooner you make a change, the better, in my opinion. I really don't think it's something you'd end up regretting - if anything, you'll wonder why you didn't do it sooner!

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:22pm

I know, I just didn't think I'd want to move out because I was unhappy. Sorry guys I'll sort it out and I'll try not to mention it again.

rainbow kirby · 04-05-2012 12:24pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I know, I just didn't think I'd want to move out because I was unhappy. Sorry guys I'll sort it out and I'll try not to mention it again.

Jane, it'll be like whipping off a plaster. The thought of it is hard at first, the process isn't necessarily easy or nice (moving and packing are fairly high up on the list of things I dread), but once it's done you'll be very relieved.

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:25pm

Maybe you're right. I just have to think about it a lot before I make any decisions or look into anything.

cynder · 04-05-2012 12:26pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I know, I just didn't think I'd want to move out because I was unhappy. Sorry guys I'll sort it out and I'll try not to mention it again.

Don't tell her your unhappy, tell her you moving out because your an adult and want to live like one by being independent. That she can visit you and you will still visit her, but have everything arranged before you tell her so you can't back down. Have your deposit and rent paid before you tell her.

Time to step up.... H

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:28pm

I'm not going to tell her I'm unhappy. I was actually thinking about moving to Athlone for college and trying to get a job there. I need to get some driving lessons soon too.

cynder · 04-05-2012 12:30pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I'm not going to tell her I'm unhappy. I was actually thinking about moving to Athlone for college and trying to get a job there. I need to get some driving lessons soon too.

You thinking in the right direction, turn those thoughts In to actions and your sorted

Happy days

The Big Red Button · 04-05-2012 12:33pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I know, I just didn't think I'd want to move out because I was unhappy. Sorry guys I'll sort it out and I'll try not to mention it again.

Ah Jane, you shouldn't feel like you can't talk about it, it's good to vent, and we only want to help.

But listen, you shouldn't see you moving out as a bad, unhappy thing. It's just the next natural step in your life! You'll love the independence and freedom of it.

And also ... even the happiest of families have their rough patches. Sure, my family probably looks like the Brady Bunch from the outside - there are seven of us, and we get on like a house on fire, and are all very close to each other and to our parents. But it sure as hell wasn't always like that - if you saw some of the rows and tears, the horrible things said in the heat of the moment, the bickering and tension ... you'd never believe we'd all end up as close as we are now!

But I honestly believe that the key to things working out was the fact that we DID "fly the nest", as such, and gave our parents and ourselves the breathing space we all badly needed.

When you see and talk to your family by choice, rather than being forced into it every day, you enjoy it and appreciate it SO much more.

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:33pm

I've already applied for the course I want to do. I need to find out if I'm entitled to a grant and I know Athlone well enough. I was looking at cheap student apartments there too, I can get it as cheap as 55 a week. I'll be losing my dole when I go back so I'll need the grant badly. I'll have to look into that.

krudler · 04-05-2012 12:41pm

Jane_LS_88 wrote: »

I've already applied for the course I want to do. I need to find out if I'm entitled to a grant and I know Athlone well enough. I was looking at cheap student apartments there too, I can get it as cheap as 55 a week. I'll be losing my dole when I go back so I'll need the grant badly. I'll have to look into that.

wont you get back to education allowance? that's almost the same amount as the dole.

Lucyfur · 04-05-2012 12:44pm

You can get BTEA or the grant but as far as I know you can only apply for the grant if you haven't got a degree already.

BTEA would probably suit you better as it's weekly. I find if easier to manage bills weekly:)

x Purple Pawprints x · 04-05-2012 12:50pm

Oh I didn't know that. I do have a level 7 degree already and I'm going back to do a level 8 year long course. BTEA it is then. I have to go talk to someone is citizens advice or something. I'm not sure about fees, how much it is or if I can afford it. BTEA would probably be better I think if it's weekly.

Daisies · 04-05-2012 12:54pm

KittyTrixee, I hope it all works out for you. Anything with the head is scary but the brain is remarkably strong. Hugs x x

Best thing I ever did was move out. Could never live at home again, the freedom (and my sanity) is worth more than I could ever pay in rent!:o

Stench Blossoms · 04-05-2012 1:29pm

I'm the same Daisies. I'm so sorry I didn't do it sooner.

I've a much better relationship with my family since I left.

I think it's a real sign of independence. (Although I do go back looking for money when times are tough

)

Honey-ec · 04-05-2012 1:30pm

Just got told I can pick the winner of the epic competition I'm not allowed enter...

What made you smile/frown/mad/sad/cry today-thread for all your emotional needs! V5

Comments