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Seroius question, one for the regular weed smokers. Sensible advice much appreciated!

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Does she drink? You could point out that alcohol is a drug. Reclaim the high moral ground.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Peetrik wrote: »
    I would suggest complete honesty also.

    I know nothing about the girl and I'm going to jump to a massive conclusion about her personality that is completely unfounded but... in my experience people who are 'not into the whole drugs thing' have preconceptions about any substances that aren't legal, the longer they have held these beliefs the less chance they have of changing their minds about them.

    If your honest and she accepts you then great, if she wants you to 'compromise' or stop hanging out with friends who smoke then she is not right for you.

    I dated a guy who was quite fond of the auld drugs while I had no interest in them. Tbh, it was difficult to be around him when he was stoned or off his face and the lovely guy I knew was less than coherent, rambling or dull-witted. It could be really annoying at times. A little depressing at times too.

    It's not always easy to date someone who has a fondness for drugs and I wouldn't do it again. It's not always to do with misconceptions about drugs either; she may have been around people who smoked a lot of hash in the past and couldn't gel with them.

    As you said though, if that's the case and the OP wants to keep smoking, they're probably not right for each other.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Millicent wrote: »
    I dated a guy who was quite fond of the auld drugs while I had no interest in them. Tbh, it was difficult to be around him when he was stoned or off his face and the lovely guy I knew was less than coherent, rambling or dull-witted. It could be really annoying at times. A little depressing at times too.

    It's not always easy to date someone who has a fondness for drugs and I wouldn't do it again. It's not always to do with misconceptions about drugs either; she may have been around people who smoked a lot of hash in the past and couldn't gel with them.

    As you said though, if that's the case and the OP wants to keep smoking, they're probably not right for each other.

    You make a good point. I smoke weed but I don't drink and I find drunk people an absolute pain in the arse. I've zero interest in hanging around when people embark on a session.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,672 ✭✭✭Peetrik


    Millicent wrote: »
    I dated a guy who was quite fond of the auld drugs while I had no interest in them. Tbh, it was difficult to be around him when he was stoned or off his face and the lovely guy I knew was less than coherent, rambling or dull-witted. It could be really annoying at times. A little depressing at times too.

    Hahaha I found myself right back in a past relationship but on the opposite side of the fence while reading that.
    I guess it boils down to the old adage of women expecting a man to change and are surprised they never do, while men are surprised when a woman inevitable changes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Be honest, don't bother putting yourself through this grief of hiding your secret and wondering how she'll react.

    She either hates people on drugs because of bad experience or has an OTT view on drugs that you inject weed through your toes while drinking liquid hash through your eye.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,678 ✭✭✭I Heart Internet


    Conbhar wrote: »
    Well if things go well my principal occupation will be wrecking HER every nite so no worries ;)

    Delightful....

    Listen, regardless of what it is (drugs, five-a-side soccer, 24 hour yoga marathons, train-spotting), if something is taking up so much of your time (5-7 nights a week) then any girl you get any way serious is going to find out real soon.

    If she decides that being with a regular drug user isn't her thing then you have two options:

    1) Decide that you want to change and be with her
    2) Decide you want to smoke your brains with your buddies

    Much as you'd love to have it both ways, you probably can't. That's life.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    Op, she may never accept it and it would cause huge problems if you both get serious together. I find that a girl who doesent like it will never accept it or even compromise.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,559 ✭✭✭Millicent


    Peetrik wrote: »
    Hahaha I found myself right back in a past relationship but on the opposite side of the fence while reading that.
    I guess it boils down to the old adage of women expecting a man to change and are surprised they never do, while men are surprised when a woman inevitable changes.

    I didn't expect him to change though. I thought because it didn't really bother me when my friends and other people I knew took drugs, it wouldn't bother me with him. Live and learn. :o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,645 ✭✭✭k.p.h


    Delightful....

    Listen, regardless of what it is (drugs, five-a-side soccer, 24 hour yoga marathons, train-spotting), if something is taking up so much of your time (5-7 nights a week) then any girl you get any way serious is going to find out real soon.

    And I would add, is probably not going to be too interested.

    A couple of little stories for you.

    Buddy Number One, Left college with a degree in architectural technology, reasonably intelligent guy, we had been smoking since our late teens and having some epic sessions. After college buddy spends more time skinning up than looking for a job, only short term though just planning on taking it easy for a few months. Economy not in great shape and weed in good supply queue 5 years of sitting on his are smoking dope like a trooper. Not once during this time did he have a girlfriend(or even get the ride for that matter), poor social contact unless you count pro-evo sessions with a few lads good social contact. Slowly drifted into depression, more so from his status than the weed but again the weed obviously had a part to play.

    Gives up weed after some soul searching, 8 months later buddy now lives in Australia, super hot girlfriend, 100k a year drawing machine designs, living it large.

    Buddy number two, Epic alternative dude always the most hardcore, leaves school starts smoking like a trooper. Joins on the epic sessions with us, having a great time. Ends up getting with girl that he had been with in our secondary school years, turn out the girl that was not that popular in school has turned out to be the most unbelievable hottie ever. Ends up moving in with her and despite everything trys to hold down job after job, but the desire to smoke and play computer games is too much for him so he spends countless hours stuck in WOW with a dubee hanging out of his mouth, now don't get me wrong this guy is the soundest bloke in the world and I think she knew that, but alas after a few years she has had enough. Buddy heart broken, understands why but in response he moves home and starts smoking at industrial levels. He is currently one of the top WOW players in the world, dose not get the ride that often.

    Moral of the story, too much weed dose not bode well to having a serious girl friend. How can you show her enough attention if you do not know your own name let alone hers.

    Buddy number three, grabs an occasional joint ever now and then.Has smoked for years, if he gets some gear he smoke's it until he passes out and leaves it at that for a few weeks. Keeps the Doors CD's lined up for whenever he gets the feeling but he approaches it like normal people would approach drinking e.g Friday night,having a few smokes. He is hit with the ladies and no girl has ever had issues with him smoking.

    Smoking weed is often considered a social thing when in fact it is an antisocial device, now I'm not knocking anyone's choices but I definitely think you should consider it's place when you are smoking 5-7 times a week. If you cut back a few nights a week and make room for your girlfriend it would be unreasonable for you girlfriend not to make allowances so you can enjoy an occasional smoke.


  • Posts: 7,639 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I've been a regular smoker of the green, average 3-4 nights per week for the last 5 years and have gone through phases of 7 nights a week on occasion. I've always avoided posting in weed threads on Boards before but the OP's 'dilemma' reminded me of a similar experience from when I first started going out with my current girlfriend.

    From the first few dates I gathered that she was very anti-drugs/ drugs are bad mmm kay, and we were getting on like a children's hospital on fire (c'mon it's AH!) but of course I beared the same worries that the OP does now. I will admit that I 'downplayed' (read: lied) about my usage in the early days. I told her I had 'the odd smoke' but eventually before we moved in together I had to come clean with her as I was then of the same frame of mind as the OP, i.e. 'I love my weed and don't plan on stopping anytime soon'. When I told her, she admitted that her anti-drugs stance solely came from a very conservative upbringing and she had no first-hand experience with any drugs. I moved into her house and fair play to her, she was cool with me smoking. Once she seen first hand that weed didn't turn me into a zombie or was counter-productive to me, but actually did quite the opposite, she couldn't understand why it was illegal and had such a bad rep. No doubt, I probably went on a ramble something like 'it's the corporations man, they'd lose too much money blah blah'. She even tried it a few times herself with me but said she got nothing off it, and I could see that it was just wasted on her :D So anyway, that's my story in relation to the OP. But since I'm here I'm gonna go on a bit.

    Anyone who claims marijuana is harmless is wrong, and that is just that. Personally I have noticed in the last year that I am second guessing myself more often than ever when it comes to things like spelling and basic maths, things that have never been a problem for me. And it's not lack of practice as I write a lot and always have done.

    Also every once in a while when I am talking, a word might completely drop out of my head and I'd have to wrack my brain trying to recall the lost word, and I'm not talking about a word like 'onomatopoeia', the word could be as simple as 'diverge'. Anyway, do I have hard medical evidence to back up my claim? No, but I'm very sure it's the weed.

    I am also sure that it is psychologically addictive. There were times when the thoughts of not having any weed to smoke as I caught up on the latest episodes of any of my favourite shows was dire, it was hard to get back into the frame of mind of doing things that I'd normally do while smoking a joint, without smoking a joint. i.e. relax, write, compose, drive (ok that last one was an attempt at humour). But that said there were weeks when I wouldn't have a smoke, and not once have I ever felt any physical strain or anxiety or sickness. So yes I believe it is psychologically addictive, but not physically. These are all personal experiences. If we look at my friend who has been smoking chronically for 12 years now, oh fúck his brain is fried. I'm not gonna list examples of his behaviour but he isn't too far from a worst case scenario.

    So that's me and weed, in a nutshell's nutshell. Before anyone comes in with (as if anyone even read this far!) 'Of course if you do _______ as often as that you will feel effects', I may have smoked regularly in terms of days, but I always smoked to get high, not shít-brained. Rarely have I ever smoked more than 2 joints in a night. As of now, I am down to 1-2 nights a week, a place that a couple of years ago I never thought I'd want to be in. It is looking like I probably will just naturally go off it in the near future as it doesn't do nearly as much for me as it once did. Anyway, true story.

    ^^^And no, I don't know how you are going to get that 3 minutes of your life back!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,037 ✭✭✭Nothingbetter2d


    OP is probably just being paranoid :P


  • Posts: 7,639 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I smoked for 10 years up to 31st December last yr and have given up completely. Have gone out with anti-drug girls in the past and its just a pain in the arse. Plus you are lying to them the whole time and it probably meant that things could never push on and get serious for me as i always felt i was deceiving her.
    And those saying "does it not get boring?" obviously never smoked. Because life is sooooo boring since i stopped. TV is ****e. Live sport marathons feel like marathons and i find myself putting in a lot more time at the office. In other words, life sucks. Smoking removes that. But i aint going back

    100% fair play to you and the best of luck. You've obviously done a lot of reasonable thinking about it and went with the most logical choice, irrespective of your actual 'want'. Apt username considering the subject! Just on your 'does it not get boring' point, did you never find that sometimes you'd smoke so much that the lines between stoned and sober would become meshed, that you couldn't really feel a proper hit from a joint because it turns out that you were perma-stoned from smoking so much? I ask because that's what happened to me. Now though, because I smoke a joint or two a week, I can feel it instantly and it's better than it's been for a long time.

    Ah I feel dirty now 'dissing' my old friend Maria Juanita, she's been more than good to me more often than not, but for the long term I do not believe that regular use will do much for my brain. All good things come to an end as they say.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,306 ✭✭✭BOHtox


    Weed has less long term effects than alcohol. It is generally less dangerous than alcohol too, which is a more addicting drug. Unless she doesn't drink it would be wrong of her to be against drugs...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭I am pie


    BOHtox wrote: »
    Weed has less long term effects than alcohol. It is generally less dangerous than alcohol too, which is a more addicting drug. Unless she doesn't drink it would be wrong of her to be against drugs...

    Yes, you shouldn't indulge in either 5 to 7 nights a week to the extent you are intoxicated 5 to 7 nights a week.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,568 ✭✭✭Chinasea


    Pack it in, it is doing you no good.

    Ask yourself this? If she were to smoke as much as you how you would feel? The habit you describe is a slippery slope and if the two of you were at it, it will undoubtedly end in tears.

    As a Former deluded fan: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubi_Dwyer.

    RIP Ubi


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,678 ✭✭✭I Heart Internet


    BOHtox wrote: »
    Weed has less long term effects than alcohol. It is generally less dangerous than alcohol too, which is a more addicting drug. Unless she doesn't drink it would be wrong of her to be against drugs...

    OP could ponder her wrongness and discuss it with his buddies on all those long, sexless nights in his near future.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,645 ✭✭✭k.p.h


    Fair play stankratz, I think you have a good perspective on smoking.
    BOHtox wrote: »
    Weed has less long term effects than alcohol. It is generally less dangerous than alcohol too, which is a more addicting drug. Unless she doesn't drink it would be wrong of her to be against drugs...

    Sounds like the usual bollox TBH, she dose not drink 5-7 nights a week dose she..!

    As usual the weed thread has thrown up the usual pro-legalization/weed comments etc.

    I feel the point is constantly missed in these threads, it's not the dangers of the substances themselves but rather the potential for habitual, heavy and prolonged use of the substances.

    Almost everything in moderation is OK, and the old saying too much of anything is bad for you is inherently true.

    The real question is should responsible users be criminalized for the attempted protection of the irresponsible users, and TBH the answer to that question is not as easily answered as people would like to think.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 991 ✭✭✭SuperGrover


    OP, there's a compromise situation here...

    Don't bring it up as a topic yet, no need. But don't deny it either if asked.

    On the other hand, if you have a weeknight together, just leave it out 'til later or the next evening.

    It's a good way to cut down a little too, which is never a bad thing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,706 ✭✭✭120_Minutes


    k.p.h wrote: »



    Buddy number two



    Buddy number three

    The biggest problem with the attitude of non smokers to legalisation in this country is that they they think 100% of smokers are buddy number two, when about 95% of them are buddy number three.

    I am buddy number three, as are a lot of my friends.

    people need to be educated about it rather than believing everything they read in the papers/see on tv/hear about from parents.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Conbhar wrote: »
    Ah here dont really wana take this down the whole route of "drugs are bad" argument but iv been smoking on and of for 10 years and been smoking nearly every nite for the last 5 years and my mental health is in fine shape :D

    Go on a google trip and pick a hit to read "man".

    Google
    Marijuana or pot and mental health and see what you are setting yourself up for, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia and in my experience of knowing long term cannabis abusers just general slowness and dullness.

    The odd joint is probably harmless, but OP you are not smoking the odd joint and you are doing it a long time, so you are probably long termed fukced already. But still more wont help.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 349 ✭✭talkinyite


    It's not weed that makes people paranoid it's the government and prohibition. If you don't want to stop smoking then just tell her and if shes against it tell her how it's way safer than booze, compare it to a vitamin and say how it works as a aphrodisiac, then if she still has a problem give her the boot before she has the chance to bin you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,801 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    talkinyite wrote: »
    It's not weed that makes people paranoid it's the government and prohibition.
    Keep it illegal so, I love a good paro buzz, its fun to mess with your brain


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,987 ✭✭✭Auvers


    44leto wrote: »
    Google
    Marijuana or pot and mental health and see what you are setting yourself up for, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia and in my experience of knowing long term cannabis abusers just general slowness and dullness.
    .

    what a crock


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,391 ✭✭✭✭mikom


    44leto wrote: »
    Go on a google trip and pick a hit to read "man".

    Google
    Marijuana or pot and mental health and see what you are setting yourself up for, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia and in my experience of knowing long term cannabis abusers just general slowness and dullness.

    Drink the Coolaid.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 349 ✭✭talkinyite


    Keep it illegal so, I love a good paro buzz, its fun to mess with your brain

    That's a tad seditious :p you could just break an actual law if you like the buzz of being labeled as a criminal by the government...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,996 ✭✭✭latenia


    k.p.h wrote: »

    Buddy number three, grabs an occasional joint ever now and then.Has smoked for years, if he gets some gear he smoke's it until he passes out and leaves it at that for a few weeks. Keeps the Doors CD's lined up for whenever he gets the feeling...

    Sounds like friend number three has the worst life of all.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,498 ✭✭✭Jamie Starr


    Just look at weed as if it were drink. If you were drinking until you could barely get up off the couch, every night of the week, I'd say that's pretty problematic. Most people have a bit of a session once a week, with a few friends, and leave it at that. Your girlfriend probably isn't staunchly anti-drugs, but wants a relationship with someone who isn't baked/wasted every night, which is a pretty reasonable outlook.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭zenno


    Just tell her brian cowen smokes it as well and she should be fine with that. or just say you have a fetish and like smoking shamrocks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 54 ✭✭canttellyou


    44leto wrote: »
    You smoke to much dope, its not as safe as people believe it is, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of future mental problems.

    She should ditch you if you are honest, so continue with holding the truth.

    Ha Ha High and Mighty


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