Seroius question, one for the regular weed smokers. Sensible advice much appreciated!

Conbhar

Rite so the story goes that im sorta seeing a girl and shes lovely and nice and all that but she does not touch weed at all and dosent like the whole drugs thing and i dont really wana tell her that im fond of a j or four :P. Now id tend to smoke 5 - 7 nites a week and have done for the last 5 or so years and im not planing to give up any time soon. So my question is has anyone else had to come clean to potential girlfriends/boyfriends and what advice would you choose to pass on?

Yakult

Ask her if shes comfortable with it, if not then its unfair on both.

pbowenroe

weed brownies. don't tell her

Hande hoche!

Drop hints that you do coke/heroin. Then when she finds out you just smoke weed, it will seem mundane in comparison.

WoollyRedHat

Introduce her to the drug scene, set her up with your drug dealer, make her feel comfortable with it.

CreepingDeath

Right place to ask this question... the AH mods are regular users.

Conbhar

Yakult wrote: »

Ask her if shes comfortable with it, if not then its unfair on both.

Well she dosent like any sorta drug taking at all so thats that out!

Ghandee

Give them up, duuude.

Seriously.

WoollyRedHat

Conbhar wrote: »

Well she dosent like any sorta drug taking at all so thats that out!

Tell her to Light(en) up

Skylinehead

Can she not tell straight away? The stoneovers, that unremoveable smell from your clothes (:mad:), sneaking out for a spliff every night? :pac:

Conbhar

Skylinehead wrote: »

Can she not tell straight away? The stoneovers, that unremoveable smell from your clothes (:mad:), sneaking out for a spliff every night? :pac:

Wev only met at the weekends so far when iv been out for a few drinks and wat not and i tend not to get to baked when im drinkin so im afraid she would be none the wiser.

Conbhar

Ghandee wrote: »

Give them up, duuude.

Seriously.

No

token101

Conbhar wrote: »

Rite so the story goes that im sorta seeing a girl and shes lovely and nice and all that but she does not touch weed at all and dosent like the whole drugs thing and i dont really wana tell her that im fond of a j or four :P. Now id tend to smoke 5 - 7 nites a week and have done for the last 5 or so years and im not planing to give up any time soon. So my question is has anyone else had to come clean to potential girlfriends/boyfriends and what advice would you choose to pass on?

Cut back/Quit. They're your only options. No point in lying. As the relationship goes on she's going to wonder why you are getting stupider.

44leto

You smoke to much dope, its not as safe as people believe it is, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of future mental problems.

She should ditch you if you are honest, so continue with holding the truth.

WoollyRedHat

Embrace Jesus?

starbelgrade

You're looking for sensible advice from regular weed smokers?

Best of luck with that.

Conbhar

44leto wrote: »

You smoke to much dope, its not as safe as people believe it is, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of future mental problems.

She should ditch you if you are honest, so continue with holding the truth.

Ah here dont really wana take this down the whole route of "drugs are bad" argument but iv been smoking on and of for 10 years and been smoking nearly every nite for the last 5 years and my mental health is in fine shape

Lumbo

Two choices. Her or weed. You decide.

benway

Conbhar wrote: »

id tend to smoke 5 - 7 nites a week and have done for the last 5 or so years and im not planing to give up any time soon.

Aren't you bored of it at this stage? I mean ... it's not all that exciting after a while - even the biggest stoners end up cutting back and eventually more or less quitting eventually. Or so I'm told. Maybe this is the time?

Granted, it might not be great for the relationship for you to be able to blame her for you not being able to smoke, but I'd seriously give it a go for a couple of weeks and see how you get on, even just cut back a bit.

Otherwise, you need to to let her know, you'll know best how to go about this.

General General

All answers, nonsense, so far are... two options, must you choose from: deceit... lie to her... my mate Paul managed to get away with getting married to three different women... on the same day! It may stress you out to live this double life... but the stories you will collect will make you a popular dinner guest for years to come... you may even get a book deal out of it.

Of course, the other option is: tell her outright, say that you want to give it up, but your addiction is so bad that the only chance you have of overcoming it is hardcore riding.

WoollyRedHat

Lumbo wrote: »

Two choices. Her or weed. You decide.

Lol I totally read that in the Big Brother voice.

jam_mac_jam

Just tell her, if she minds then clearly she is not for you. fine if she doesnt but really if she is going to give you hassle about the odd joint then you have your answer really. You really shouldnt lie though, that's going to make it a lot worse. If she isnt into drugs does she not drink?

Conbhar

benway wrote: »

Aren't you bored of it at this stage? I mean ... it's not all that exciting after a while - even the biggest stoners end up cutting back and eventually more or less quitting eventually. Or so I'm told. Maybe this is the time?

Granted, it might not be great for the relationship for you to be able to blame her for you not being able to smoke, but I'd seriously give it a go for a couple of weeks and see how you get on, even just cut back a bit.

Otherwise, you need to to let her know, you'll know best how to go about this.

Cant really see me giving up to be honest maybe cutting down one day a long way down the road. Wit me and the mates i hang out wit its more of a social thing like wed all go around to each others houses during the week and have a few smokes just like some people would have a few cans.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

yeah but people who have a few cans will still probably hang out with each other if one or more of them stopped drinking

doesn't tend to happen with stoners. it's a very fickle "friendship"

jam_mac_jam

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

yeah but people who have a few cans will still probably hang out with each other if one or more of them stopped drinking

doesn't tend to happen with stoners. it's a very fickle "friendship"

no not really at all, some people like one or the other or both doesnt mean that your friendships are any shorter.

jased10s

44leto wrote: »

You smoke to much dope, its not as safe as people believe it is, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of future mental problems.

She should ditch you if you are honest, so continue with holding the truth.

FFS will you get a grip , Boards will make you more mental than weed.

To the OP , Be truthfull and if your a proper person then it shouldent matter. Just smoke outside as some people dont like the smell.

Maybe introduce her to it and get creative.

If she dont like it then she does not like the real you .

You are what you is.

Conbhar

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

yeah but people who have a few cans will still probably hang out with each other if one or more of them stopped drinking

doesn't tend to happen with stoners. it's a very fickle "friendship"

Not at all. In our group of 8 or 9 we have 4 who smoke weed and the rest dont, at all. Just because one of my mates who iv know for years dosent smoke thats not gona mean im gona stop hanging around wit him or her.

up for anything

jam_mac_jam wrote: »

Just tell her, if she minds then clearly she is not for you. fine if she doesnt but really if she is going to give you hassle about the odd joint then you have your answer really. You really shouldnt lie though, that's going to make it a lot worse. If she isnt into drugs does she not drink?

It's hardly the odd joint if he is smoking seven nights a week.

I'd imagine that you'll find it difficult to hold her interest if your principal occupation is getting wrecked with the lads every night.

benway

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

yeah but people who have a few cans will still probably hang out with each other if one or more of them stopped drinking

doesn't tend to happen with stoners. it's a very fickle "friendship"

Nah, don't think there's any difference. People might wonder about it when you pass, but they'll just go "more for me" when they think about it for a second and carry on. If you're able to keep up with the banter, or don't get bored if/when everybody gets couch-locked, you'll be grand.

If the girl has a phobia about it, but hasn't really been around stoners, she should be fine once she realises that you don't grow two heads and go all Trainspotting on her after a couple of tokes. It'll probably involve at least one night of "here, gimme some of that", "I'm not getting anything off this", then holding her hair while she pukes and being reassuring as she works through the whitey. At least, my stoner friends tell me this is what happens.

If she objects to it for any other reason, you'll have a problem.

Either way, best to tell her, she will find out and it'll be messy if she hasn't heard about it from you first.

Best of luck with it....

Conbhar

up for anything wrote: »

It's hardly the odd joint if he is smoking seven nights a week.

I'd imagine that you'll find it difficult to hold her interest if your principal occupation is getting wrecked with the lads every night.

Well if things go well my principal occupation will be wrecking HER every nite so no worries

Conbhar

benway wrote: »

Nah, don't think there's any difference. People might wonder about it when you pass, but they'll just go "more for me" when they think about it for a second and carry on. If you're able to keep up with the banter, or don't get bored if/when everybody gets couch-locked, you'll be grand.

If the girl has a phobia about it, but hasn't really been around stoners, she should be fine once she realises that you don't grow two heads and go all Trainspotting on her after a couple of tokes. It'll probably involve at least one night of "here, gimme some of that", "I'm not getting anything off this", then holding her hair while she pukes and being reassuring as she works through the whitey. At least, my stoner friends tell me this is what happens.

If she objects to it for any other reason, you'll have a problem.

Either way, best to tell her, she will find out and it'll be messy if she hasn't heard about it from you first.

Best of luck with it....

Pretty sound advice mate, cheers!

Super-Rush

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Right place to ask this question... the AH mods are regular users.

Are we?

Lash_Alert

ITS SPELT SERIOUS!

Statistician

44leto wrote: »

You smoke to much dope, its not as safe as people believe it is, you are opening yourself up to all sorts of future mental problems.
.

Inhaling any kind of smoke isn't safe.

milehip1

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

Embrace Jesus?

Is that a new strain on the go?

Conbhar

Lash_Alert wrote: »

ITS SPELT SERIOUS!

Indeed it is, well done!

Lash_Alert

Think they say smoking too much can affect your brain in the long run, things such as spelling etc.

Mod:

Poster banned.

Nailz

Lash_Alert wrote: »

ITS SPELT SERIOUS!

It is spelled "it's".

By the way, there's no need to shout.

Super-Rush

Nailz wrote: »

It is spelled "it's".

By the way, there's no need to shout.

And it will be spelled banned if this crap continues.

Conbhar

Lash_Alert wrote: »

Think they say smoking too much can affect your brain in the long run, things such as spelling etc.

Well "they" can go fuk themselves :P

mackg

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

yeah but people who have a few cans will still probably hang out with each other if one or more of them stopped drinking

doesn't tend to happen with stoners. it's a very fickle "friendship"

In my group we have people who never smoked, people who smoked and stopped, people who didn't smoke and started later and people who smoked at the start and still do. Never noticed what you're saying.

Lash_Alert

Nailz wrote: »

It is spelled "it's".

By the way, there's no need to shout.

I was actually going to correct that before i posted it, but decided to leave it in to show that small things like comas etc dont really bother me, its more the obvious spelling mistakes in a thread title that can be annoying for something so simple.

But well done to you anyways.

Mickey Dazzler

Telling my last bird the I was shooting smack intravenously into my cock was one of the hardest conversations i have ever had.

Statistician

benway wrote: »

It'll probably involve at least one night of "here, gimme some of that", "I'm not getting anything off this", then holding her hair while she pukes and being reassuring as she works through the whitey. At least, my stoner friends tell me this is what happens.

Do you stoner friends mix it with tobacco?
(Probably the tobacco making them puke)

Logical Fallacy

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

yeah but people who have a few cans will still probably hang out with each other if one or more of them stopped drinking

doesn't tend to happen with stoners. it's a very fickle "friendship"

I gave up smoking weed about 2 years ago now and my circle of friends hasn't diminished in the slightest. I've lost none of my old smoking buddies.

If anything i find my friends who drink seem to feel a bit awkward unless a good few others are drinking with them.

Doc

Tell her you smoke. Like her I don’t like any sort of drug taking but I don’t force my opinion on anyone else and have had girlfriends who did smoke. You should tell her soon as if you don’t she will find out and see your not telling her as a lie. Even if she would dump you for it then she should know.

Logical Fallacy

Doc wrote: »

Tell her you smoke. Like her I don’t like any sort of drug taking but I don’t force my opinion on anyone else if and have had girlfriends who did smoke. You should tell her soon as if you don’t she will find out and see your not telling her as a lie. Even if she would dump you for it then she should know.

Agreed.

I was seeing a girl who didn't smoke, I did. I didn't tend to smoke around her and it wasn't an issue.

She was asking me one day about weed and pills and the like, as she had never done them and was curious. I told her with her completely inability to control herself with regards to booze (she regularly got WAY too ****ing drunk and needed looking after) that she was best off avoiding drugs of all kinds.

stupidusername

I'm not really too sure what kind of advice anybody really could give you here. you know she has a problem with it, and you're going to tell her.... so ...what do you want anyone to say? do you need help with the wording or what is it?

Conbhar

stupidusername wrote: »

I'm not really too sure what kind of advice anybody really could give you here. you know she has a problem with it, and you're going to tell her.... so ...what do you want anyone to say? do you need help with the wording or what is it?

Yeah i dont really know how id drop it into a conversation to be honest or how to word it for that matter.

stupidusername

Conbhar wrote: »

Yeah i dont really know how id drop it into a conversation to be honest or how to word it for that matter.

Don't worry about dropping it into conversation - it's just not a topic that'll come up quite likely. tell her there's something you should discuss, you know she doesn't like drugs and that whole world, and that you're sorry you didn't mention it before (if you are) but you quite regularly smoke weed or whatever you smoke.

it's a matter for the two of you then as to whether or not you'll keep seeing each other. maybe you'll cut back/give up, maybe she'll be ok with it, maybe you'll break up. who knows.

Doc

stupidusername wrote: »

Don't worry about dropping it into conversation - it's just not a topic that'll come up quite likely. tell her there's something you should discuss, you know she doesn't like drugs and that whole world, and that you're sorry you didn't mention it before (if you are) but you quite regularly smoke weed or whatever you smoke.

it's a matter for the two of you then as to whether or not you'll keep seeing each other. maybe you'll cut back/give up, maybe she'll be ok with it, maybe you'll break up. who knows.

Couldn’t agree more.