Am I a **** up in life?

TeddyTedson · 08-03-2012 02:30AM

A **** up?
Far from it I'd say. Do what you want. You only get one life so live it your way. With 535 points in the leaving there's an awful lot of opportunities open to you. The world is yours. Don't be thinking of hanging yourself or anything like that again. What's the point in ceasing to exist!?
Best of luck.

celticcrash · 08-03-2012 02:31AM

Hello idunno, Your going through a rough patch at the moment, know one thing, this will pass. Your parents think there are doing the right thing putting pressure on you. But we are not all built to go to collage. You will find YOUR WAY. Remember that its your way. The drink will only make things look worse.
So try give that a knock on the head.
What do you want to do in life? You have to figure that out yourself!
The priest is right your going to have to sit your parents down and talk to them. Your parents dont want to see you suffering but you have to tell them the truth.
Tell them you need space, but also knock the drink and weed on the head.
You wont be able to sort yourself out with drink and weed.
Things and situations always change and you can change them.
Talk and keep talking.

Turner · 08-03-2012 02:31AM

535 points... You are nigh on a genius.

Use that brain to go out in the world and make some money...

You can spend your weekends smokin fags and drinking all you want then.

Doc Ruby · 08-03-2012 02:34AM

celticcrash wrote: »

But we are not all built to go to collage.

Truth. Banging the head off a wall in academia for years might only make a person feel worse and instill a longterm sense of failure.

i57dwun4yb1pt8 · 08-03-2012 02:39AM

All i can say is - find a healthy . constructive passion and follow it .
something you love to do ( that is positive ) .
that will keep your body and mind occupied - which is one thing we all wish for .

it may even be skydiving , but its what you want - not anyone else.

this will likely NOT be what your parents want - but thats your life choice.

best of luck .

full_irish · 08-03-2012 02:40AM

If you want to do Pharmacy then you should look at applying through UCAS, that's the UK version of CAO. I'd recommend going to Robert Gordon University http://www.rgu.ac.uk/future-students in Aberdeen (best reputation in the UK for Pharmacy).
I'm in 3rd year over there now and its a cool city. Nightlife is good and the girls are easy (well in comparison to Irish girls, thats not hard).
Not that'd be a problem for you with the €11m in the bank but you won't actually have to pay any fees as you're an undergraduate.
I think you've missed the initial deadline for applying this year but I would check out the later deadline:http://www.ucas.com/students/applying/whentoapply

Applying after the deadline
Applications received by the above deadlines are guaranteed to be considered by the universities and colleges. Applications received at UCAS after the deadlines, up until 30 June, will only be considered by the universities and colleges if they still have vacancies for the course(s) you have selected.

Shoot me a pm if you have any questions.

onemorechance · 08-03-2012 02:42AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHgeFE

Father Damo · 08-03-2012 02:44AM

idunnoshur wrote: »

Good evening lads, I've been feeling fairly low lately and I'd like to know what you all think of me and what I've done with my life so far.

I'll start by giving some family background. My old man milked 150 cows practically on his own on 170 acres from the age of 19 to (roughly) 30 when he married my mother, she helped out feeding calves and bringing in the cows every evening after work. In 1995 (roughly) he managed to buy another 50 acres about 30 miles from the home farm from the cash that he and my mother were earning, this farm remained rented out until 2004 when the man renting it decided to retire. My old man decided to sell this farm as land was making great money in the area for development. He out the farm up for sale and within 6 months it was sold for 11 million euro. My mother still works as an accountant and my old man drives a lorry to pass the time mostly. That's enough of the family background for now.

Next is my education so far. I've been told my mother that I was at the top of the class all throughout primary school. Once I started secondary school I stopped giving a **** about school but I still managed to get 5 As in the Junior Cert so the parents were still happy. I really stopped giving a **** about school once I hit fourth year, this is when I started smoking and drinking. I did sweet **** all throughout fifth and sixth year, when I was meant to be in after school study each day I went smoking joints with the rougher lads in the school. My leaving cert was a disaster as I expected; I got 310 points. I didn't get enough points on anything that was on my CAO form so I had no choice but to repeat the leaving.

My leaving cert results were a wake up call for me, I really put the head down for that year and I manged to get 535 points, just shy of pharmacy in <snip> which my mother really wanted me to do (I'd kind of like to do it myself too as I have a good enough interest in the chemistry of drugs). I ended up doing Civil engineering in <snip> as it was the next choice on my CAO form, I absolutely hated the first year of it but I battled through it just to keep the parents happy.

I managed to pass all of my exams but I really didn't want to go back to finish out the degree, the parents told me that I could either find somewhere else to live or go back to college, I went back for a quite life. I went to most of the lectures for the first term but since Christmas you could count on one had the amount of lectures that I've been to, instead I passed the days by playing golf and walking around the college but the parents think that I've been going to all of my lectures and studying hard.

Last Monday I just got sick **** of it all and instead of going anywhere I just stayed at home sipping away at a couple of cans each day and browsing the internet. Last Friday after a week of staying at home drinking and smoking fags I got severely fed up with life, I went down the yard to the sheds, found a rope and spent about an hour thinking would I hang myself, thankfully I decided against it in the end, I thought of all of the people that I would hurt if I did do it. Any way this Monday I went into college and spoke to one of the chaplains, I opened my heart to him and he told me that the best thing to do was to sit my parents down and tell them everything that I had told him. I still haven't gotten my head around doing this as I don't know how they'll react.

I know you'll all probably think that I'm a right ****ing idiot for telling all of this to you all but I fell that I have to say it to someone else before the parents.

That should be enough information on my life to date for you to come to some kind of a decision on whether or not I'm a **** up.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this.

Yours
ids

Sounds like, like pretty much everyone else back home, the monotony of life has become too much.

Emigrate is your best bet. Or at least travel.

Deus Ex Machina · 08-03-2012 02:47AM

Is it really possible to be a fuçk up in life? We're like some sort of mould that started growing on a pear because light was shining on it, nobody knows what the fuçk any of this is about and by the looks of it there's a good chance we never will. Bo matter who you are there are infinite ways to negatively interpret or rationalise your station in life. You have already lived longer and more pleasantly than 99.999999% of the entities which have flickered over the face of this rock. The whole thing is absurd so don't get your hairy hanging hog huggers all in a twist over not meeting some weird perceived standards. Is a child born with 40 tumors in his brain a fuçk up because he'll never win an Oscar or drive a BMW? Son, the rest of the jizz missed the egg, where are those homeboys at now whassup!

Pacifist Pigeon · 08-03-2012 02:47AM

Watch one of those Concern or Trócaire advertisements with poor starving babies in Africa, then you'll know how lucky you are.

ToddyDoody · 08-03-2012 02:47AM

Replace 310 with 290, 535 with 425, civil eng with health and safety, <snip> with nuig, slipping lectures in fourth year with undertaking a mad final year project and using it to ignore the need to study and the rope in the shed with 'would a belt work off the balcony' and its just another twenty something's story. Add unemployed but masters and experience gained. 'Am i a fcuk up?' who gets to decide that and on what grounds, in a changing world? And suppose we get past that and say 'yes, a fcuk up', now what? Do we declare you an economic and social loss and throw you on an imaginary scrap heap? (which is by far the most expensive option, socially and economically) they call this an 'anihilatory' consciousness that western man has.. Can be a path to growth. Are you mature enough to have kids yet? Ans. No. Solution: get broken down (as the above poster currently is) built up then bust down again (psychological equivalent of sport) and you may be getting to what the species requires of the majority of men, in a modern day take on a classic.. The males quest away from the warm nuturing realm of the great mother (that last bit should get a few, nervous, laughs) long story short.. Who cares?

guitarzero · 08-03-2012 02:53AM

Bro, first, I'd recommend you stop listening to the chatter in your head, it can be a real threat to your morale. Then other peoples opinions, expectations and judgements will slowly lose their weight with time. If you can practice this then you can get in touch with your own feelings and hopes about life. Everyone eventually has to come around to themselves, you may as well start now.

You're not a **** up, you're just reaching the point of where doing what you're told has gone on for too long and your adult instincts are kicking in, a stronger sense of self basically. This is tough because you probably dont know what you want in life or what route to take.

I'd recommend taking care of your health as number one - exercise/work out and eat as good as you can.

Get some guidance around college, see how you feel about the course, what your options are.

Make sure you have at least one person you can talk to who actually gives a shít, be they a friend or counsellor or relative. Someone who can grasp where you are in yourself and give you some understanding.

Learn to relax, to stop and just chill your mind. Any time you get worked up, feel you'll do something extreme just breathe, look around at how everything is quiet, how everything is just still and just sink into it.

Journal. Write things down such as reoccurring thoughts, ideas, plans, solutions.

Engage in a hobby a few times a week that you are or could become quite passionate about, it could literally be anything.

Be opportunistic.

I these things are easy to say but I've also had to put them into practice. They do work so give it time man, even if you give it 70% you'll get some pay back.

Dudess · 08-03-2012 03:00AM

Definitely not a fuk-up - you're young and trying to find your way. Spectacularly normal. All those people who seem to be sailing along - well you don't know that. You've done extremely well for yourself. I don't think it's fair to tell you you have it so good and cop on - if you felt suicidal then your emotional/psychological state isn't in a good way and that clouds your thinking and sense of logic. Again, not unusual. At the same time though, it's no harm to have some perspective and consider the positives. I agree you should speak to a professional, and have a serious think about your options and ways to make positive changes. Try telling your folks this route isn't benefitting you - plus, the construction industry's fecked. I disagree that AH isn't a good place to talk about this kinda stuff though - always on these threads, the vast majority of people are sensitive and helpful. Anyone who wants to act the gobshyte, just ignore/report.

All the best - don't think it won't get better. You have your whole life ahead of you but you need to make the necessary changes - just get some help to do so...

08-03-2012 03:08AM

Aint got nothing to ad but here have a big hug and i hope u see things clearer soon .

No matter what your parents love the bones of you wanting you to do well is part of that they would be devastated to know your so low and wanting to help am sure .

Daftendirekt · 08-03-2012 03:09AM

No, you aren't a f*ck up. Things just aren't working for you at the moment. It's good that you've talked to someone, though. That can be incredibly hard to do.

Good luck anyway! Hope you can get yourself back on track.

kincsem · 08-03-2012 03:18AM

Exams are not that important for a happy life. It is ok to have targets in exams, career, job, but the pressure from that can mess you up. You need to get that stress down a bit, and that might mean getting the people who are pressuring you to do something else with their lives.

Dartz · 08-03-2012 03:34AM

No worse than me.

I can't get a job.

I don't even have any references.

Jev/N · 08-03-2012 03:40AM

Remember, do things for yourself, not to keep other people happy.

Viral Vector · 08-03-2012 03:50AM

You're far from a **** up by the sounds of things mate!

Go see some of the world and forget all this negativity nonsense!

starviewadams · 08-03-2012 04:36AM

First of all I'd strongly recommend you visiting your GP and explaining to them about how you have been feeling.You'd be surprised how helpful even just talking out loud about your feelings can actually be.

Secondly,you are not in the least bit a fúck up,you are just fed up with how your circumstances currently are.The good thing about that is you can change them,it may seem daunting right now,but you absolutely can.Nothing is set in stone.

You will also have to sit both of your parents down an explain to them too exactly how you've been feeling,and how much you loathe the course you're doing at the moment.I'm fairly sure that they will be surprisingly okay about it,after all they are your parents,and at the end of the day they just want you to be happy,healthy and to get on in life.

In the meantime,I'd recommend you cut out the drinking as it will only make your mood worse,and I'd also recommend getting you out during the day,even just out for a walk in the park or whatever for an hour or so,you'll go stir crazy sitting inside all say,believe me!

I on the other hand am an actual fúck up: 25 years old,suffered from anxiety and depression since my early teens,mitched school all the time cos of my anxiety which resulted in me getting 20 or so points on the leaving(threw the paper in the bin the day I got it so not sure of the exact mark).No qualifications or skills/prospects,quit a vec college course after 2 days cos of anxiety,no friends,no girlfriend,quit an easy office job 2 weeks ago cos I couldn't handle it anymore and am now eating away at my very limited savings.

Compared to me you are golden!

Jimbob 83 · 08-03-2012 04:49AM

Tell your parents that you have been through the education system non stop for 15 years and you need a year off to see the world and understand what all this **** is for.

Somewhere along the way in that year you will figure out what you want to do, hell im 28 and still clueless just bouncing from job to job, if i had a trade or degree i would be out of this country in a heartbeat

emigrate2012 · 08-03-2012 05:23AM

Been in that situation a couple a times meself,not a nice feeling.It can be tempting but it's any kind of real anwser to whats bothering you.I've lost a few friends that way maybe because they felt they couldn't talk to anyone about how they felt.I've had a few freakouts like that over the years,scared the sh!t outta me.Talk to your parents(or maybe a sound uncle/aunt/trusted friend don't be thinkin "ah they'll think I'm a weirdo" if their a true friend they'll only want to help however they can),they'll be concerned(of course and will probably keep a closer eye on you,it's natural.)but trust me you'll feel much better for it in the long run.I'd definitely consider going to your GP they have all seen it before and will be able to help with getting access to counselling etc.It's not for everyone(it's fcuking hard to open up to a stranger about stuff that your not even sure of yourself) but it can be helpful and it's always good to try different solutions for a problem.(I done it for about a year,hard going and i dunno how much of it i took in but I'm still here so I suppose it helped in some way) Find something that interest's/makes YOU happy,try and get out and socialise whenever ye fell up to it(going for a long walk helps me clear me head I find) but just try to stay positive. Ye seem like a smart young fella(you realise there's something up and your talking about it if even it's only here, it's a start and a definite step on the road to feeling better)It's a long road to getting out of a funk like that but your making a start and that's always a good sign.So I hope this help's you in some little way and the best of luck to you,try not to think to much into it,everyone has their off time's,just some people get it worse,FCuk know's i do! good luck mate and take care. P.S. the other post's are right in sayin to cut back on the gargle,especially the lone ranger craic go for a few pints in the evening in the pub if ye have to have a sup,there's usually a bit craic and banter to be had and almost always someone there in a worse pisser of a mood than you,it'll might just lighten your mood a bit to hear some cranky fcuk givin out out about sh!te! does for me anyway! take care man.:)

Jimbob 83 · 08-03-2012 05:35AM

http://troll.me/images/hulk-smash/hulk-no-like-wall-of-text-hulk-smash-wall-of-text.jpg

Kirby · 08-03-2012 05:40AM

emigrate2012 wrote: »

Been in that situation a couple a times meself,not a nice feeling.It can be tempting but it's any kind of real anwser to whats bothering you.I've lost a few friends that way maybe because they felt they couldn't talk to anyone about how they felt.I've had a few freakouts like that over the years,scared the sh!t outta me.Talk to your parents(or maybe a sound uncle/aunt/trusted friend don't be thinkin "ah they'll think I'm a weirdo" if their a true friend they'll only want to help however they can),they'll be concerned(of course and will probably keep a closer eye on you,it's natural.)but trust me you'll feel much better for it in the long run.I'd definitely consider going to your GP they have all seen it before and will be able to help with getting access to counselling etc.It's not for everyone(it's fcuking hard to open up to a stranger about stuff that your not even sure of yourself) but it can be helpful and it's always good to try different solutions for a problem.(I done it for about a year,hard going and i dunno how much of it i took in but I'm still here so I suppose it helped in some way) Find something that interest's/makes YOU happy,try and get out and socialise whenever ye fell up to it(going for a long walk helps me clear me head I find) but just try to stay positive. Ye seem like a smart young fella(you realise there's something up and your talking about it if even it's only here, it's a start and a definite step on the road to feeling better)It's a long road to getting out of a funk like that but your making a start and that's always a good sign.So I hope this help's you in some little way and the best of luck to you,try not to think to much into it,everyone has their off time's,just some people get it worse,FCuk know's i do! good luck mate and take care. P.S. the other post's are right in sayin to cut back on the gargle,especially the lone ranger craic go for a few pints in the evening in the pub if ye have to have a sup,there's usually a bit craic and banter to be had and almost always someone there in a worse pisser of a mood than you,it'll might just lighten your mood a bit to hear some cranky fcuk givin out out about sh!te! does for me anyway! take care man.:)

Sweet jesus man. See that big "enter" key on your keyboard? Use it!

GombeanMan · 08-03-2012 05:49AM

You are only a **** up in life if you stop trying.

Rich11 · 08-03-2012 06:21AM

plain n simple, if you dont like civil engineering dont do it, if you dont quit you will hate yourself years from now, and dont let your parents tell you what to do, its your life, like, my ma and sister are a soliciter, da was an accountant, then theres me, a chef:eek:, parents hate me for doing what im doing, especially cause i never went to college:rolleyes: and never plan on going, but its my passion, so think about what you love doing, what you have passion for, and go from there:)

ringadingding · 08-03-2012 07:56AM

Your not even a third into your life yet my man, and live can go from shît to good in a matter of months.

Your not a **** up, your going through normal shît, the stuff that shapes who you'll end up as, going through rough patches is great character building stuff as they say.

Deep breath, grab your balls and tell your folks everything.

It's all gonna be good

cocoshovel · 08-03-2012 08:34AM

Damn I wish I got 310 points, or even 535!

mikemac1 · 08-03-2012 09:34AM

Cut out the drinking on your own at home

Nothing wrong with a few drinks to relax but you did it for a solid week

Also get out of the house.
Go for a walk, run, cycle. Just get moving

Also mind what your influences are.
Joe Duffy show would have you reaching for that rope some days. And I'll include boards.ie in this too, there are dole bashing threads I don't read and certain other forums I won't go into
If it bothers you then stay out of it.

Sykk · 08-03-2012 09:58AM

Hey there,

I wouldn't worry too much about your education. I made an absolute misery of my leaving cert.. and by that I mean I barely passed, due to absolutely not giving a crap about school and other family issues that meant I missed about 2/3 of 5th and 6th year.

Anyway I'm working now and doing a degree as a mature student to fill the box. As anyone can tell you, degrees are over rated.

Find something you love doing and try to figure out a way to do it as a profession. There are ways and means to do everything. It will all come along

Glad you decided against ending everything. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel

Am I a **** up in life?

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