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Did you ever get caught fapping by your parents/friends/other?

135

Comments

  • #62
    Iang87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭Iang87


    No.


  • #63
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    Simi wrote: »
    No it's off putting when your cat watches you and starts purring!
    or useful - you could put that vibration to good use.


  • #64
    CrackisWhack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 852 ✭✭✭CrackisWhack


    Not sure if I was caught but..... woke up on a sunday morning with a terrible hangover, couldnt sleep, so, I closed my eyes and was rubbing one out to a girl I had bumped into the night before etc. after a few minutes and I was finished I turned on to my side only to see a steaming hot cup of tea on my bedside locker:confused:


  • #65
    The Snipe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,484 ✭✭✭The Snipe


    Quandary wrote: »
    Must have been one sexy golf course!

    Was there a bend in the course?


  • #66
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    Abi wrote: »
    Nope, never been caught, or ever close to it. I need to start living on the edge.

    Danger ****?
    Big Steve wrote: »
    Nearly caught once or twice by the aul lad. He never knocked on the door.

    Me sisters mate may have seen me. I'm not sure about that, but the subject was never mentioned. Shame but she was really fit.

    Anyone who doesn't knock and await permission to enter a person's room is a nutter, can't understand people.


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  • #67
    massdebater
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,251 ✭✭✭massdebater


    CrackisWhack wrote: »
    Not sure if I was caught but..... woke up on a sunday morning with a terrible hangover, couldnt sleep, so, I closed my eyes and was rubbing one out to a girl I had bumped into the night before etc. after a few minutes and I was finished I turned on to my side only to see a steaming hot cup of tea on my bedside locker:confused:

    Urban myth.


  • #68
    Spread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Spread


    massdebater wrote: »
    Urban myth.

    Urban myth?

    Please specify. Was it:
    (a) hangover
    (b) bird he (she) rubbed against
    (c) playing with him/herself
    (d) steaming cup of tea


  • #69
    massdebater
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,251 ✭✭✭massdebater


    Spread wrote: »
    Urban myth?

    Please specify. Was it:
    (a) hangover
    (b) bird he (she) rubbed against
    (c) playing with him/herself
    (d) steaming cup of tea

    The whole story is an urban myth. It always crops up when people are talking about being caught **** and it's always from a different person, friend of a friend etc. A bit like the 'lob it in to me, boss' story.


  • #70
    Spread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Spread


    massdebater wrote: »
    The whole story is an urban myth. It always crops up when people are talking about being caught **** and it's always from a different person, friend of a friend etc. A bit like the 'lob it in to me, boss' story.

    OK, thank you for that. Now I'll just have a quick one before the wife gets home :D


  • #71
    castletownman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,366 ✭✭✭✭castletownman


    My mates told me about the **** technique where if you sit on your arm first it feels like someone else is doing it. I went home after school that day and went upstairs to my room to try it. In the eh....throes of passion....one of my friends walked in and I rather stupidly tried to push down the laptop screen with my limp hand, which was, as you can imagine, impossible to do. Mortification.


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  • #72
    Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 23,555 ✭✭✭✭Sir Digby Chicken Caesar


    my mother walked in on me when i was 15 or 16, long ago now.
    that wasnt the worst part, the worst part was she made a point of knocking loudly on the wall all the way from the stairs to my bedroom for months afterwards

    we both knew why she was doing it, neither of us said a word.


  • #73
    Surion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 239 ✭✭Surion


    Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »
    my mother walked in on me when i was 15 or 16, long ago now.
    that wasnt the worst part, the worst part was she made a point of knocking loudly on the wall all the way from the stairs to my bedroom for months afterwards

    we both knew why she was doing it, neither of us said a word.

    I kid you not, hearing that one....I would have been MARKED for life. I'm not sure I'd ever get over the emotional scare...my personality would implode. Dear God, I'd die a million times everytime I thought about it.....


  • #74
    Flincher
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 686 ✭✭✭Flincher


    TeddyTedson wrote: »
    I have a UV light in my old room and it just glows all over.
    I wonder how many gallons of semen were splashed all over the house!

    CSI was just out around the time I discovered the joys of ****.

    I was always slightly paranoid that if I was ever murdered and the Crime Scene experts shone their UV lights around they'd have thought I never stopped dragging myself around room.

    They wouldn't have been incorrect.


  • #75
    fullstop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,889 ✭✭✭✭fullstop


    CrackisWhack wrote: »
    Not sure if I was caught but..... woke up on a sunday morning with a terrible hangover, couldnt sleep, so, I closed my eyes and was rubbing one out to a girl I had bumped into the night before etc. after a few minutes and I was finished I turned on to my side only to see a steaming hot cup of tea on my bedside locker:confused:

    Wondered how long this one would take :rolleyes:


  • #76
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    castletownman wrote: »
    My mates told me about the **** technique where if you sit on your arm first it feels like someone else is doing it. I went home after school that day and went upstairs to my room to try it. In the eh....throes of passion....one of my friends walked in and I rather stupidly tried to push down the laptop screen with my limp hand, which was, as you can imagine, impossible to do. Mortification.

    Hi 'jay' you twat


  • #77
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »
    my mother walked in on me when i was 15 or 16, long ago now.
    that wasnt the worst part, the worst part was she made a point of knocking loudly on the wall all the way from the stairs to my bedroom for months afterwards

    we both knew why she was doing it, neither of us said a word.

    If she'd have tried knocking on the door in the first place..

    My hen was one for the surprise attacks too. The best thing I could have done was let her catch me in the act. That said I think she thought I was just piercing another hole in something whenever the door was closed over.


  • #78
    Odysseus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,752 ✭✭✭Odysseus


    One of the visiting professors who used to lecture when I was in college used to ask the question what organ is used most intensely during masterbation? Answer the ear. It is still one of the strongest prohibitions today, yes we can say we speak freely about it. However, a significant number still lie, and most importantly one must not be caught.


  • #79
    Skerries
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,945 ✭✭✭✭Skerries


    A mate of mine after a night on the beer goes home and starts rubbing one out to porn on the telly in the front room but fell asleep half way through
    So the next morning the dad arrives into the front room to see his son on the floor with lad in hand fast asleep
    Untitled Image




  • #80
    Evie90
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 92 ✭✭Evie90


    Never been caught 'fapping', I have been caught having sex by the guards though possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. Middle of the night lakeside hi-jinx not a good idea apparently. :o


  • #81
    John Doe1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    Evie90 wrote: »
    Never been caught 'fapping', I have been caught having sex by the guards though possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. Middle of the night lakeside hi-jinx not a good idea apparently. :o

    PM sent:cool:


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  • #82
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Abi wrote: »
    If she'd have tried knocking on the door in the first place..

    My hen was one for the surprise attacks too. The best thing I could have done was let her catch me in the act. That said I think she thought I was just piercing another hole in something whenever the door was closed over.

    I suppose thats what female masturbation is really. By the way does hen mean mother? Havent heard that expression but I think ill steal it!


  • #83
    charlierunkle
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16 ✭charlierunkle


    Didnt get caught in the act as such, it was the afters. I think it was first year college and there was free condoms everywhere. Naturally i grabbed a few handfulls but it was unlikely they were going to be used for their rightful purpose. Hence 2004 saw a long run of posh ****. I should mention i was still living at home and one night i was having a particularly epic posh **** and in the throngs of passion just after completion condom went down the side of the bed....Two days later, the oul fella picks me up from the bus stop, he's very quiet hardly said a word til we got home. He says before we get out of the car, i have something to talk to you about.
    - Is there something you want to tell me?
    - Eh no
    -I wanna ask you, did you have a girl back here
    -Wha? no, of course not
    (Should note here, the mammy is strong catholic lady)
    -Your mother was changing the bed sheets today and she found a used condom, so do you wanna explain
    - Im thinking oh **** oh ****
    -again did you have a girl here
    Realising the boll$%$ing id get if i say yes i did
    - eh no da i didn't I.......I..... did it meself
    - wha?
    - You know, i did it meself
    Than went on to explain the free condoms situation
    - well why the **** didn't ye just flush it, ****'s sake

    Next day the mother says very little at first
    than it followed by:
    You do know thats a terrible sin
    Que a barrage of how ashamed, wrong and disrespectful ive been to myself comments.

    Haven't had a posh **** since


  • #84
    Carlos_Ray
    Closed Accounts Posts: 685 ✭✭✭Carlos_Ray


    Possibly the most embarrassing moment of my life. Years ago I was tugging away in a standing position with my trousers around my ankles, sweating profusely, trying not to end it too quickly. It was late at night and I was being really quiet, didn't want to wake the folks up. I threw my head back and closed my eyes and decided to work the bum with my free hand. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see that my parents were looking up at me, now both fully awake. My father went mental and screamed at me to get get out their bedroom! To say I was mortified is an understatement. When I meet up with the family now we can look back and laugh at it. Its all part of growing up.....isn't it?


  • #85
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    Getting caught **** by a parent must be an instant hard on killer


  • #86
    Chris Martin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,277 ✭✭✭Chris Martin


    It would appear that a vast number of you haven't seen the masturbation is wrong video, where every time you do so,
    There is a strong chance that you will grow hair from your hands and your eyes will melt from their sockets.
    Also you'll be responsible for many a death of puppies and kittens.
    Keep this in mind next time you're about to climax.

    Tbh I don't understand what's so wrong about it...
    I'd nearly go as far as saying 80% of teens and young adults do it,
    Not something you'd go about proclaiming to the world either though.
    I'd say lads are slightly worse than women though,
    Women may be more hormonal but generally have better ethics...
    With lads it's whenever the opportunity arises...

    I, however, am quite content with a hot cup of tea/coffee, a good book and an early night.
    Living the life :D

    Oh and "if I did",
    I'll have nearly got caught on numerous occasions,
    Cat like reflexes would save me :D


  • #87
    AngryBollix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,536 ✭✭✭AngryBollix


    Chris Martin wrote: »
    It would appear that a vast number of you haven't seen the masturbation is wrong video, where every time you do so,
    There is a strong chance that you will grow hair from your hands and your eyes will melt from their sockets.
    Also you'll be responsible for many a death of puppies and kittens.
    Keep this in mind next time you're about to climax.

    Tbh I don't understand what's so wrong about it...
    I'd nearly go as far as saying 80% all of teens and young adults do it,
    Not something you'd go about proclaiming to the world either though.
    I'd say lads are slightly worse than women though,
    Women may be more hormonal but generally have better ethics...
    With lads it's whenever the opportunity arises...

    I, however, am quite content with a hot cup of tea/coffee, a good book and an early night.
    Living the life :D

    fyp


  • #88
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    AngryBollix wrote: »
    Getting caught **** by a parent must be an instant hard on killer

    You'd think so but it just spurred me on...


  • #89
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    Heard a psychologist say once all men go through a phase of sexual addiction in their lives at some stage.


  • #90
    Chris Martin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,277 ✭✭✭Chris Martin


    AngryBollix wrote: »
    fyp

    For the unadventurous,
    Bound to be some out there that aren't fully functioning,
    Or too posh...

    When you start to see the light at the end of a tunnel,
    Only justified reason to stop mid-deed.


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  • #91
    noelpat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 322 ✭✭noelpat


    Skerries wrote: »
    A mate of mine after a night on the beer goes home and starts rubbing one out to porn on the telly in the front room but fell asleep half way through
    So the next morning the dad arrives into the front room to see his son on the floor with lad in hand fast asleep
    your from cork then


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