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Did you ever get caught fapping by your parents/friends/other?

245

Comments

  • #32
    token101
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,050 ✭✭✭token101


    Once on a plane I whipped my lad out in front of a female journo and starting beating out a merry tune. I can't remember it though, too much Nurofen and wine. As a prominent radio DJ, I had to go apologise to her. Like she hadn't seen a one eyed milkman before :rolleyes:


  • #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,828 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    My flatmate always used a vibrator. I could here her as her room was next to mine! I knew it couldnt be an electric toothbrush as her teeth were filthy!
    Maybe it was, just handle first! :pac:


  • #34
    twistedsoul
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 184 ✭✭twistedsoul


    Danger **** there the best !


  • #35
    Gareth2011
    Closed Accounts Posts: 579 ✭✭✭Gareth2011


    Both parents walked in on me when I was sitting down on chair at seperate times and I couldn't do anything except try to cover up but sure they could still see my ass to the side and im sure they knew plus my face was prob red I could feel the heat off it :o.


  • #36
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Got caught by an ex once actually.

    Only time it's not a bad thing to get caught :D

    I also caught an girl doing it after a wedding party. She didnt stop all she said is "I didnt score so Im going to do THIS!!" which made me start laughing and ruin any chance of joining in!


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  • #37
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Maybe it was, just handle first! :pac:

    Explains the dirty teeth really!


  • #38
    gbee
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,384 ✭✭✭gbee


    Talk about being young, at least I could hear people and try and escape ... I'm ageing very early and I don't hear low sounds at all .... :mad:


  • #39
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I also caught an girl doing it after a wedding party. She didnt stop all she said is "I didnt score so Im going to do THIS!!" which made me start laughing and ruin any chance of joining in!

    She could have at least had the decency to even act ashamed.

    Brazen harlot
    :pac:


  • #40
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    I masturbated once on a golf course. God the passions of youth.


  • #41
    Gannicus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    kfallon wrote: »
    She obviously didn't like the cut of your jib jizz :pac:

    Don't know. It was pre money shot. I was in the living room, she rang the doorbell. Not sure if she saw me as she got passed the living room window before pressing the bell.


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  • #42
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    She could have at least had the decency to even act ashamed.

    Brazen harlot
    :pac:

    She had a choice of acting ashamed or keep going either one would have made me laugh out of akwardness really!


  • #43
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    I also caught an girl doing it after a wedding party. She didnt stop all she said is "I didnt score so Im going to do THIS!!" which made me start laughing and ruin any chance of joining in!

    At least she was honest about her intentions.


  • #44
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    She had a choice of acting ashamed or keep going either one would have made me laugh out of akwardness really!

    She could have easily have jumped you declaring 'You will HAVE to do'.

    Or cry, girls don't like being rejected.

    Awkward is a safe medium.


  • #45
    marty1985
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 788 ✭✭✭marty1985


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    Got caught by an ex once actually.

    Only time it's not a bad thing to get caught :D

    It's always awkward when you meet an ex, isn't it? I'd say the fact that you were masturbating made it extra awkward.


  • #46
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    marty1985 wrote: »
    It's always awkward when you meet an ex, isn't it? I'd say the fact that you were masturbating made it extra awkward.

    Wasn't an ex at the time.


  • #47
    steddyeddy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,565 ✭✭✭✭steddyeddy


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    She could have easily have jumped you declaring 'You will HAVE to do'.

    Or cry, girls don't like being rejected.

    Awkward is a safe medium.

    Yes like a robot! YOU will HAVE to do THIS!! I wasnt rejecting her I was laughing at the situation! It went from nice drinks with the in laws to a girl telling me that she really had to do THAT!


  • #48
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    xxxJennyxxx wrote: »
    She could have easily have jumped you declaring 'You will HAVE to do'.

    Like Sharon out of the Snapper.

    "Is that you squeaking, steddyeddy?"


  • #49
    Quandary
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,450 ✭✭✭Quandary


    Sindri wrote: »
    I masturbated once on a golf course. God the passions of youth.

    Must have been one sexy golf course!


  • #50
    Gannicus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    One of the lads did it on the sofa one night not realising his mates cousin was asleep on the other sofa. she woke up screamed and ran down the street.

    We can often hear me mates ma getting nailed or feeding the donkey while we're in the living room directly below her. (in the middle of the day)


  • #51
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    steddyeddy wrote: »
    Yes like a robot! YOU will HAVE to do THIS!! I wasnt rejecting her I was laughing at the situation! It went from nicedrinks with the in laws to a girl telling me that she really had to do THAT!

    Nah was thinking more along the lines of 'Why should I have to masturbate when there is someone with a perfectly functional (I hope) penis standing there awkwardly, STICK IT IN ME'.

    More along those lines.


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  • #52
    Sindri
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,059 ✭✭✭Sindri


    Quandary wrote: »
    Must have been one sexy golf course!

    Are you....are you...coming on to me?

    Very odd chat up line.:)

    Just so you know I swing;)


  • #53
    ringadingding
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭ringadingding


    When I was about 15 I found a load of porn mags whilst snooping a building site.
    Went home and layed all of them out on the bathroom floor, each one opened on my favourite page, it was like a mosaic of fannies.

    As I was flitting my eyes from page to page and pulling the tadger off myself, my dad opened the door and walked in.

    In my excitement of trying to pull 12 hidden magazines from my trouser leg , I had forgotten to lock the door.

    I nearly cried


  • #54
    Dan133269
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭Dan133269


    ringadingding wrote: »
    When I was about 15 I found a load of porn mags whilst snooping a building site.
    Went home and layed all of them out on the bathroom floor, each one opened on my favourite page, it was like a mosaic of fannies.

    As I was flitting my eyes from page to page and pulling the tadger off myself, my dad opened the door and walked in.

    In my excitement of trying to pull 12 hidden magazines from my trouser leg , I had forgotten to lock the door.

    I nearly cried

    Priceless.

    I suppose I should divulge my own story.
    In the place where I'm living now, I moved in about 4 months ago. My first week here, I still hadn't met some of the housemates. Sitting in front of my computer, happy as Larry just stroking away. My door opens and in walks a girl I've never seen before. She lives in the room across from mine, obviously got disoriented (she works night shifts) and came into my room by mistake. She thought it was her room at first and then realised I must be the new housemate. So I'm sitting down on the chair in front of the computer, she's half way in the door, the two of us just stare at each for about 10 seconds, in complete silence, until eventually she goes out and closes the door.

    About a week later I was introduced to her in the kitchen, and I politely extended my hand and shook hers. We made eye contact and both said "nice to meet you". We were obviously both thinking the same thing but neither of us said anything. I hope to god she hasn't told the other housemates, no one said anything yet! :)


  • #55
    Gannicus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    Dan133269 wrote: »
    About a week later I was introduced to her in the kitchen, and I politely extended my hand and shook hers. We made eye contact and both said "nice to meet you". We were obviously both thinking the same thing but neither of us said anything. I hope to god she hasn't told the other housemates, no one said anything yet! :)
    Oh she told us alright


  • #56
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,808 ✭✭✭✭smash


    It's off putting when your cat or dog watches you!


  • #57
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    I generally assume when people wiggle their legs about a lot they are attempting some sort of clandestine genital stimulation. This is probably usually incorrect, but it's kinda fun to think like this..
    Except the bouncing the leg up and down on the ball of the foot thing - that's just nervous energy


  • #58
    neil_hosey
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,712 ✭✭✭neil_hosey


    a fella in my class in school used to talk about "danger ****"... where he'd call his ma and then he'd try to knock one out before she walked in the door .. :confused:


  • #59
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    smash wrote: »
    It's off putting when your cat or dog watches you!

    I had an ex who had to make put the dog out of the room when we were having sex. The dog watching us use to freak me out


  • #60
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Gummy Panda wrote: »
    I had an ex who had to make put the dog out of the room when we were having sex. The dog watching us use to freak me out

    Next time he's getting jiggy on the green, pike him out of it. Then he'll know what it feels like.


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  • #61
    Simi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,027 ✭✭✭Simi


    smash wrote: »
    It's off putting when your cat or dog watches you!

    No it's off putting when your cat watches you and starts purring!


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