Do you feel safe on your own in a taxi/having a total stranger know where you live?

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:11AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited,.You're not a child,he was not going to rape you,in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,i don't know but to report the man is getting on the tallest of high horses.

So it's her fault for talking to him? Your attitude is disgusting and slagging off her appearance really shows you for what sort of person you are.

kincsem · 02-02-2012 01:13AM

Did I read that right? Someone got a taxi to their house and now object to the taxi driver knowing the address. If that is the objection get a taxi to a random address.

adrianna_cerva · 02-02-2012 01:13AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited,.You're not a child,he was not going to rape you,in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,i don't know but to report the man is getting on the tallest of high horses.

Em this happened in Dublin.....

I think highly of myself/am inferring I am attractive, because I said I felt a taxi driver made me feel uncomfortable but talking about sex, prostitutes they were all money grabbin bitches etc etc.... ok then!

greimorm wrote: »

You should have voiced said grievance with him in calm manner.Maybe he didnt realize he was making you feel uncomfortable.I hardly think he was going to do anything to you since the company knew he picked you up.

That is a fair point greimorm, I did try and change topic a number of times, but maybe I should have said it striaght out.

harney · 02-02-2012 01:14AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

have you ever realised that this may have been an out of nature remark and by reporting him you may be taking food out his children's mouths due to a lousy busy body principle?

He could always send the mother of his children off to Amsterdam to undertake a bit of negotiable affection, safe in the knowledge that any woman who had children is clearly gagging for it so will naturally love the job. Crisis averted.

Celly Smunt · 02-02-2012 01:15AM

Millicent wrote: »

A lousy busybody principle? GTFO. He is a business person and if he cannot conduct himself in the appropriate manner, he does not deserve to keep getting business. Besides that, have you ever experienced the feeling or fear of sexual assault? The guy freaked the poster out enough that she suspects that she fears she may be in some danger as he knows her place of residence. That's hardly some fucking "lousy busy body principle".

perhaps the poster should be contacting the police rather than asking an internet forum for their opinion if she is in that much "fear" don't you think?.
It is a complete over reaction.

greimorm · 02-02-2012 01:17AM

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

That is a fair point greimorm, I did try and change topic a number of times, but maybe I should have said it striaght out.

Totally some people just do not think before they speak, and really do not realize they are saying something wrong if you dont tell them.I would say it straight out, and if he made it worse then get out of the cab and report him.But as you didnt say anything i would just leave it and learn from it.Better still is say sorry i have to make a phone call and keep person on phone for whole journey lol if you are worried about how they will react.

Stereomaniac · 02-02-2012 01:18AM

No. It's not her fault for talking to him. But maybe the situation could've been handled better.

Celly Smunt · 02-02-2012 01:18AM

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

Em this happened in Dublin.....

I think highly of myself/am inferring I am attractive, because I said I felt a taxi driver made me feel uncomfortable but talking about sex, prostitutes they were all money grabbin bitches etc etc.... ok then!

I never said it didn't happen in Dublin,i was talking about the amsterdam conversation.You clearly took it completely out of context and i would have loving to hear to tone he said the words in to be absolutely critical.

leggo · 02-02-2012 01:19AM

OP gets slated and personally insulted because she felt uncomfortable with a man, who she was paying for a service, forcing details of his sexual indiscretions upon her...

You stay classy, AH!

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:20AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

perhaps the poster should be contacting the police rather than asking an internet forum for their opinion if she is in that much "fear" don't you think?.
It is a complete over reaction.

How do you know? How do you know he wasn't some intimidating lech? It's not exactly a situation most people will know exactly what to do with. The OP has said she has considered contacting the guards but doesn't feel brave enough to.

Celly Smunt · 02-02-2012 01:22AM

Millicent wrote: »

How do you know? How do you know he wasn't some intimidating lech? It's not exactly a situation most people will know exactly what to do with. The OP has said she has considered contacting the guards but doesn't feel brave enough to.

ask the first question on the contrary and then query that she won't call the guards because deep down she knows too it's completely bollocks being blown out of proportion.

johnners2981 · 02-02-2012 01:23AM

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

I am a very easy going person but when a complete stranger starts telling me about whores who he had no respect for, good for only one thing etc etc in a confined space when i am alone with him, I dont think I am being over sensative in feeling uncomfortable to be fair! And after all I am paying him for a service to get me from a to b, I dont think I should be made feel very uncomfortable for the privilage!

So do you think of calling the guards every time you feel uncomfortable? I'm not defending his behaviour (he probably is a creep, how on earth did he end up talking about that?) but I do think you're overreacting.

I know I would not stay in the taxi for the whole journey if I felt so uncomfortable that I'd consider calling the guard

Red21 · 02-02-2012 01:23AM

OP, your posts which seem sincere are completely at odds with your tread title

adrianna_cerva · 02-02-2012 01:24AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

I never said it didn't happen in Dublin,i was talking about the amsterdam conversation.You clearly took it completely out of context and i would have loving to hear to tone he said the words in to be absolutely critical.

I felt uncomfortable with the tone though whether he meant to purposfully or not and as I said I did try and change topic multiple times but he kept on going back to prostitutes and talking about them in a pretty horrible way.

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:24AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

ask the first question on the contrary and then query that she won't call the guards because deep down she knows too it's completely bollocks being blown out of proportion.

This right here is why people are afraid to report sexual assaults. This horrible attitude that presumes it's all in the OP's head and not that she may be questioning it because people like you make her feel like she must be imagining it without knowing the whole situation yourself.

adrianna_cerva · 02-02-2012 01:26AM

Red21 wrote: »

OP, your posts which seem sincere are completely at odds with your tread title

Ooops sorry I wasnt sure what to call it!! I guess it was more I had an uncomfortable incident and I was very aware of being alone in the taxi/having a stranger knoe where I live but probably should have phrased the title better!

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:26AM

johnners2981 wrote: »

So do you think of calling the guards every time you feel uncomfortable? I'm not defending his behaviour (he probably is a creep, how on earth did he end up talking about that?) but I do think you're overreacting.

I know I would not stay in the taxi for the whole journey if I felt so uncomfortable that I'd consider calling the guard

Not everyone responds to the same situations in the same way. Same as, for example, in an argument--some people will shout back, some people will get snarky, others will get quiet and others still might cry etc.

Same thing happens in intimidating situations. Not all people share the same fight or flight responses as you do.

Celly Smunt · 02-02-2012 01:27AM

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

I felt uncomfortable with the tone though whether he meant to purposfully or not and as I said I did try and change topic multiple times but he kept on going back to prostitutes and talking about them in a pretty horrible way.

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

greimorm · 02-02-2012 01:29AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

HAHA in AH fashion pmcmahon.Tell the truth you are the taxi driver

Leave the poor girl alone lol

Celly Smunt · 02-02-2012 01:29AM

Millicent wrote: »

This right here is why people are afraid to report sexual assaults. This horrible attitude that presumes it's all in the OP's head and not that she may be questioning it because people like you make her feel like she must be imagining it without knowing the whole situation yourself.

it wasn't a sexual assault.Step back and look at what you're saying now.

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:31AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

No. The taxi man continuing to talk about and intimidate a paying customer marks him out as a creep. The way the OP describes it (with talk of how that's all women are good for) sounds knowingly intimidating, especially given that the OP said she tried to change the subject several times to no avail. Reporting it to the guards is the sensible thing to do, just in case, if worst comes to the worst, there are any more incidents with the man.

harney · 02-02-2012 01:34AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

Yes appears to be the answer (or not), regardless of the amount of personal abuse you throw in her direction.

Taxi driver, or know one by any chance?

@OP. Report him. With a bit of luck he is one of the tools with a previous conviction and will get tossed out quite easily.

johnners2981 · 02-02-2012 01:34AM

Millicent wrote: »

Not everyone responds to the same situations in the same way. Same as, for example, in an argument--some people will shout back, some people will get snarky, others will get quiet and others still might cry etc.

Same thing happens in intimidating situations. Not all people share the same fight or flight responses as you do.

I'm in no way defending the taxi driver but I do not see this as the taxi driver telling this story to intentionally strike fear into the op.
Very uncomfortable? I don't doubt it. Intimidating? I don't think so, definitely not on such a level that the op should have a rational fear for her safety

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:36AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

it wasn't a sexual assault.Step back and look at what you're saying now.

I never said it was a sexual assault. My point was, this minimising of a legitimate fear or upset is exactly the reaction that causes assault victims to keep their silence. You are excusing sexually inappropriate conversation from someone who is supposed to be businessperson and who abused his position on this occasion and blaming the OP because she apparently thinks too highly of herself. You have even insulted the OP, even though you agree that the man's behaviour is not appropriate. Does that not seem odd to you?

Millicent · 02-02-2012 01:39AM

johnners2981 wrote: »

I'm in no way defending the taxi driver but I do not see this as the taxi driver telling this story to intentionally strike fear into the op.
Very uncomfortable? I don't doubt it. Intimidating? I don't think so, definitely not on such a level that the op should have a rational fear for her safety

Trust me when I say I have encountered lechs of his sort before. Some people take pleasure from making others they consider more vulnerable being intimidated or made extremely uncomfortable from their behaviour. They know how to do it in a subtle enough way to avoid accusation too.

johnners2981 · 02-02-2012 01:52AM

Millicent wrote: »

Trust me when I say I have encountered lechs of his sort before. Some people take pleasure from making others they consider more vulnerable being intimidated or made extremely uncomfortable from their behaviour. They know how to do it in a subtle enough way to avoid accusation too.

Well I suppose I won't know whether he did it intentionally to intimidate or if he just lacked common sense and decency, hopefully it's the latter

joshrogan · 02-02-2012 02:06AM

Why didn't you ask him to stop because the conversation was making you uncomfortable.

up for anything · 02-02-2012 02:09AM

frozenbanana wrote: »

But it's people you know you should be afraid of, statistics will tell you 9 out of 10 rape victims knew their assailant.

She now 'knows' the taxi driver.

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

Yep thats it exactly, i wanted to ring the company and tell them, but then I knew he would know it would be me and I didnt want to then
!

You could still ring them now. I am sure they no more want him on your doorstep seeking vengeance for a job loss or a warning than you do so will be happy enough to keep it anonymous. I doubt you are the first woman he tried to woo/intimidate with such a conversation.

pmcmahon wrote: »

why are women so over sensitive to the most flippant things?

pmcmahon wrote: »

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited,.You're not a child,he was not going to rape you,in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,i don't know but to report the man is getting on the tallest of high horses.

Nice! :rolleyes:

kincsem wrote: »

Did I read that right? Someone got a taxi to their house and now object to the taxi driver knowing the address. If that is the objection get a taxi to a random address.

No, you didn't read it right. Next time, try reading it.

Sharpshooter · 02-02-2012 02:10AM

pmcmahon wrote: »

why are women so over sensitive to the most flippant things?

pmcmahon wrote: »

have you ever realised that this may have been an out of nature remark and by reporting him you may be taking food out his children's mouths due to a lousy busy body principle?

pmcmahon wrote: »

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited.

The taxi driver brought it up.

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

a couple of days ago I had a driver who started talking about prostitures, a recent trip to amsterdam, sure they're only dirty whores gaggin for it etc, I felt so uncomfortable.

pmcmahon wrote: »

in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,.

Mod:
Attack the post,not the poster!

Banned!

pmcmahon wrote: »

perhaps the poster should be contacting the police rather than asking an internet forum for their opinion if she is in that much "fear" don't you think?.
It is a complete over reaction.

The OP posted a thread and has given input on a situation that made her feel uncomfortable.

pmcmahon wrote: »

ask the first question on the contrary and then query that she won't call the guards because deep down she knows too it's completely bollocks being blown out of proportion.

It might be bollocks to you,but important to the OP.

pmcmahon wrote: »

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

MOD:

The OP never said that.
pmcmahon you are trolling to get a reaction, do not post again in this thread when your ban is up!

Seachmall · 02-02-2012 12:30PM

There was a taxi driver around where I live who, allegedly, used to buy drink for underage girls and approach them for stuff you shouldn't approach underage girls for.

If my memory serves correctly he topped himself after he started getting serious harassment from kids. I don't know if he did what the rumours suggested but I'm sure there are some serious creeps out there driving girls, and guys, home after a drunken night out.

Do you feel safe on your own in a taxi/having a total stranger know where you live?

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