Do you feel safe on your own in a taxi/having a total stranger know where you live?

adrianna_cerva

Hi everyone! I am a very very long time lurker here and have enjoyed reading the posts on here for a long time so I said I would be brave and join, so please be nice!!

So basically in reference to my title, I was wondering how safe do you feel in a taxi when you are on your own. I have had many wierd experiences with drivers and to be fair met some very, very sound taxi drivers too, but a couple of days ago I had a driver who started talking about prostitures, a recent trip to amsterdam, sure they're only dirty whores gaggin for it etc, I felt so uncomfortable. I was debating whetehr I would report him but I didn't want to draw him on me so to speak or have him know I reported him.... when I know I porbably should have done, also gutted now he knows where I live as he was very strange.

How do others feel about this?

AnonoBoy

Sounds like a creep but.....

Does he know your name or your phone number or any other details about you other than where you live?

No.

You're grand so.

Mr. Rager

He was a horny taxi-driver, just because he started talking about whores doesn't mean he is going to track you down.

Millicent

fjsanchez wrote: »

He was a horny taxi-driver, so what, just because he started talking about whores doesn't mean he is going to track you down.

Not, "so what". He made a female customer feel uncomfortable and intimidated. Just because he may not track her down doesn't mean she requires such a flippant, blasé answer.

adrianna_cerva

fjsanchez wrote: »

He was a horny taxi-driver, so what, just because he started talking about whores doesn't mean he is going to track you down.

I thought it was really wierd and inappropriate and to be honest, not very normal behavior. It was clearly making me extremely uncomfortable, but he continued on, and that coupled with that fact you are very aware that you are totally, totally alone with his person too in their car!

Millicent

OP, might be worth reporting it to the Regulator and perhaps the local gardaí if you feel you might be in any danger.

frozenbanana

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

Hi everyone! I am a very very long time lurker here and have .....

Plenty of strangers know where you live, postman, hr dept in work or complete strangers seeing you go into your house.

But it's people you know you should be afraid of, statistics will tell you 9 out of 10 rape victims knew their assailant.

Then there are terrorists, large groups of youths and babysnatchers.

You're not safe anywhere these days...

Latchy

He probably get's off talking dirty to female passengers to get some reaction and he might be same with male ones to so you might just be another passenger .

Chucky the tree

No idea why you got him to pull him right outside your house then. Get off around the corner, or a few doors down and wait until he drives off.

fintonagirl

I generally feel grand in taxis and if I can I will order one from a company I know just to be on the safe side. At times I've had very random conversations though not weird enough to freak me out or make me feel threatened. I did have a taxi fella put his number through my door after he had left me home which I wasn't too fussed on because I did find him bit overpowering or friendly but what ye gonna do?

as regard them knowing where you live.. hmm don't know.. a lot of people can be strangers but know where you live - food delivery fellas, tradesmen.. saying that I live in an estate would maybe feel more vulnerable if I was living out in the country but think that would just be in general

adrianna_cerva

Millicent wrote: »

OP, might be worth reporting it to the Regulator and perhaps the local gardaí if you feel you might be in any danger.

Thanks Millicent - I am thinking I might (if I am brave enough!)

Chucky the tree wrote: »

No idea why you got him to pull him right outside your house then. Get off around the corner, or a few doors down and wait until he drives off.

I had called a taxi through a firm so he was collecting me from my house, would have totally done as you said all right had I flagged him down!

Millicent

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

Thanks Millicent - I am thinking I might (if I am brave enough!)



I had called a taxi through a firm so he was collecting me from my house, would have totally done as you said all right had I flagged him down!

Good luck with it. I've had a few odd, unsettling situations like that, so I know they're horrible. Try not to let it worry you.

WindSock

Get out near your gaf next time you are uncomfortable.

Edit: oh just see it was a collection.

adrianna_cerva

WindSock wrote: »

Get out near your gaf next time you are uncomfortable.

Unfortunately I had called him to to the house via a taxi firm, so I think that makes it all the more unsettling knowing he has your address and potentially your name (well just first name at least) and number, thats why I was thinking of reporting it as I could ring the firm and say it to them.

Mr. Rager

Millicent wrote: »

fjsanchez wrote: »

He was a horny taxi-driver, so what, just because he started talking about whores doesn't mean he is going to track you down.

Not, "so what". He made a female customer feel uncomfortable and intimidated. Just because he may not track her down doesn't mean she requires such a flippant, blasé answer.

Yeah in fairness that was a bad choice of words, edited. Of course if she feels in danger she could contact the authorities, etc. but from her OP it sounded like he hadn't said enough to merit a call to the Gardaí. I'm sure whatever the driver said was a lot worse than just talking about whores if she feels she could be tracked down.

Nevertheless it sounds like a horrible cab journey.

fintonagirl

If you got his number I would report him.. I know I would feel uncomfortable reporting him if I had to let them work out which driver it was from which journey he had covered.. as if he is a bit of a weirdo he would then be able to know it was you who had complained?

Millicent

fjsanchez wrote: »

Yeah in fairness that was a bad choice of words, edited. Of course if she feels in danger she could contact the authorities, etc. but from her OP it sounded like he hadn't said enough to merit a call to the Gardaí. I'm sure whatever the driver said was a lot worse than just talking about whores if she feels she could be tracked down.

Nevertheless it sounds like a horrible cab journey.

Sorry for misinterpreting you so.

And to be honest, it can be the manner these things are said in. Enough to be unsettling but not enough to be able to say for definite that the person is doing it intentionally.

Chucky the tree

The Gardai will probably basically tell you to piss off in a nicer manner.

Millicent

frozenbanana wrote: »

Plenty of strangers know where you live, postman, hr dept in work or complete strangers seeing you go into your house.

But it's people you know you should be afraid of, statistics will tell you 9 out of 10 rape victims knew their assailant.

Then there are terrorists, large groups of youths and babysnatchers.

You're not safe anywhere these days...

Very reassuring, sensitive post there. :pac:

YFlyer

OP get the phone numbers of a few taxi drivers that you trust. Ring one of them when you need a taxi.

adrianna_cerva

fintonagirl wrote: »

If you got his number I would report him.. I know I would feel uncomfortable reporting him if I had to let them work out which driver it was from which journey he had covered.. as if he is a bit of a weirdo he would then be able to know it was you who had complained?

Yep thats it exactly, i wanted to ring the company and tell them, but then I knew he would know it would be me and I didnt want to then

Chucky the tree wrote: »

The Gardai will probably basically tell you to piss off in a nicer manner.

Yep and thats very true also!

Celly Smunt

why are women so over sensitive to the most flippant things?

greimorm

God if i had a cent for every time i heard a taxi driver or door man or man full stop say something to make a woman feel uncomfortable i would be richest person in the world.(its called forgetting you are not a man or their buddy)
Get on with your life and forget about it.
I personally wouldn't lose sleep over it.

One taxi driver used to insist on telling me about his constant affairs and how slutty they were.I told him once to shut it and didnt get in taxi with him again.Once ok, every time your company gets said taxi driver to pick you up and he goes on and on about it is enough,Sad lives some people have.

Millicent

pmcmahon wrote: »

why are women so over sensitive to the most flippant things?

Have you ever been trapped in a space that is not your own with someone probably larger than you who is being sexually aggressive?

WoollyRedHat

frozenbanana wrote: »

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

Hi everyone! I am a very very long time lurker here and have .....

Plenty of strangers know where you live, postman, hr dept in work or complete strangers seeing you go into your house.

But it's people you know you should be afraid of, statistics will tell you 9 out of 10 rape victims knew their assailant.

Then there are terrorists, large groups of youths and babysnatchers.

You're not safe anywhere these days...

Yeah, but the postman only rings twice.

Celly Smunt

Millicent wrote: »

Have you ever been trapped in a space that is not your own with someone probably larger than you who is being sexually aggressive?

have you ever realised that this may have been an out of nature remark and by reporting him you may be taking food out his children's mouths due to a lousy busy body principle?

adrianna_cerva

pmcmahon wrote: »

why are women so over sensitive to the most flippant things?

I am a very easy going person but when a complete stranger starts telling me about whores who he had no respect for, good for only one thing etc etc in a confined space when i am alone with him, I dont think I am being over sensative in feeling uncomfortable to be fair! And after all I am paying him for a service to get me from a to b, I dont think I should be made feel very uncomfortable for the privilage!

adrianna_cerva

pmcmahon wrote: »

have you ever realised that this may have been an out of nature remark and by reporting him you may be taking food out his children's mouths due to a lousy busy body principle?

It wasn't a remark it was 15 minutes of this when I tried countless times to change the subject and he kept on going back to something which I the paying passenger clearly did not want to talk about.

Celly Smunt

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

I am a very easy going person but when a complete stranger starts telling me about whores who he had no respect for, good for only one thing etc etc in a confined space when i am alone with him, I dont think I am being over sensative in feeling uncomfortable to be fair! And after all I am paying him for a service to get me from a to b, I dont think I should be made feel very uncomfortable for the privilage!

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited,.You're not a child,he was not going to rape you,in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,i don't know but to report the man is getting on the tallest of high horses.

greimorm

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

I am a very easy going person but when a complete stranger starts telling me about whores who he had no respect for, good for only one thing etc etc in a confined space when i am alone with him, I dont think I am being over sensative in feeling uncomfortable to be fair! And after all I am paying him for a service to get me from a to b, I dont think I should be made feel very uncomfortable for the privilage!

You should have voiced said grievance with him in calm manner.Maybe he didnt realize he was making you feel uncomfortable.I hardly think he was going to do anything to you since the company knew he picked you up.

Millicent

pmcmahon wrote: »

have you ever realised that this may have been an out of nature remark and by reporting him you may be taking food out his children's mouths due to a lousy busy body principle?

A lousy busybody principle? GTFO. He is a business person and if he cannot conduct himself in the appropriate manner, he does not deserve to keep getting business. Besides that, have you ever experienced the feeling or fear of sexual assault? The guy freaked the poster out enough that she suspects that she fears she may be in some danger as he knows her place of residence. That's hardly some fucking "lousy busy body principle".

Millicent

pmcmahon wrote: »

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited,.You're not a child,he was not going to rape you,in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,i don't know but to report the man is getting on the tallest of high horses.

So it's her fault for talking to him? Your attitude is disgusting and slagging off her appearance really shows you for what sort of person you are.

kincsem

Did I read that right? Someone got a taxi to their house and now object to the taxi driver knowing the address. If that is the objection get a taxi to a random address.

adrianna_cerva

pmcmahon wrote: »

if you were just paying for a service to get you from a to b why did you open your mouth and converse in the first place and then feel uncomfortable when he elaborates on what is the tourist culture in the location you visited,.You're not a child,he was not going to rape you,in fact you probably aren't even attractive and are just thinking highly of yourself,i don't know but to report the man is getting on the tallest of high horses.

Em this happened in Dublin.....

I think highly of myself/am inferring I am attractive, because I said I felt a taxi driver made me feel uncomfortable but talking about sex, prostitutes they were all money grabbin bitches etc etc.... ok then!

greimorm wrote: »

You should have voiced said grievance with him in calm manner.Maybe he didnt realize he was making you feel uncomfortable.I hardly think he was going to do anything to you since the company knew he picked you up.

That is a fair point greimorm, I did try and change topic a number of times, but maybe I should have said it striaght out.

harney

pmcmahon wrote: »

have you ever realised that this may have been an out of nature remark and by reporting him you may be taking food out his children's mouths due to a lousy busy body principle?

He could always send the mother of his children off to Amsterdam to undertake a bit of negotiable affection, safe in the knowledge that any woman who had children is clearly gagging for it so will naturally love the job. Crisis averted.

Celly Smunt

Millicent wrote: »

A lousy busybody principle? GTFO. He is a business person and if he cannot conduct himself in the appropriate manner, he does not deserve to keep getting business. Besides that, have you ever experienced the feeling or fear of sexual assault? The guy freaked the poster out enough that she suspects that she fears she may be in some danger as he knows her place of residence. That's hardly some fucking "lousy busy body principle".

perhaps the poster should be contacting the police rather than asking an internet forum for their opinion if she is in that much "fear" don't you think?.
It is a complete over reaction.

greimorm

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

That is a fair point greimorm, I did try and change topic a number of times, but maybe I should have said it striaght out.

Totally some people just do not think before they speak, and really do not realize they are saying something wrong if you dont tell them.I would say it straight out, and if he made it worse then get out of the cab and report him.But as you didnt say anything i would just leave it and learn from it.Better still is say sorry i have to make a phone call and keep person on phone for whole journey lol if you are worried about how they will react.

Stereomaniac

No. It's not her fault for talking to him. But maybe the situation could've been handled better.

Celly Smunt

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

Em this happened in Dublin.....

I think highly of myself/am inferring I am attractive, because I said I felt a taxi driver made me feel uncomfortable but talking about sex, prostitutes they were all money grabbin bitches etc etc.... ok then!

I never said it didn't happen in Dublin,i was talking about the amsterdam conversation.You clearly took it completely out of context and i would have loving to hear to tone he said the words in to be absolutely critical.

leggo

OP gets slated and personally insulted because she felt uncomfortable with a man, who she was paying for a service, forcing details of his sexual indiscretions upon her...

You stay classy, AH!

Millicent

pmcmahon wrote: »

perhaps the poster should be contacting the police rather than asking an internet forum for their opinion if she is in that much "fear" don't you think?.
It is a complete over reaction.

How do you know? How do you know he wasn't some intimidating lech? It's not exactly a situation most people will know exactly what to do with. The OP has said she has considered contacting the guards but doesn't feel brave enough to.

Celly Smunt

Millicent wrote: »

How do you know? How do you know he wasn't some intimidating lech? It's not exactly a situation most people will know exactly what to do with. The OP has said she has considered contacting the guards but doesn't feel brave enough to.

ask the first question on the contrary and then query that she won't call the guards because deep down she knows too it's completely bollocks being blown out of proportion.

johnners2981

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

I am a very easy going person but when a complete stranger starts telling me about whores who he had no respect for, good for only one thing etc etc in a confined space when i am alone with him, I dont think I am being over sensative in feeling uncomfortable to be fair! And after all I am paying him for a service to get me from a to b, I dont think I should be made feel very uncomfortable for the privilage!

So do you think of calling the guards every time you feel uncomfortable? I'm not defending his behaviour (he probably is a creep, how on earth did he end up talking about that?) but I do think you're overreacting.

I know I would not stay in the taxi for the whole journey if I felt so uncomfortable that I'd consider calling the guard

Red21

OP, your posts which seem sincere are completely at odds with your tread title

adrianna_cerva

pmcmahon wrote: »

I never said it didn't happen in Dublin,i was talking about the amsterdam conversation.You clearly took it completely out of context and i would have loving to hear to tone he said the words in to be absolutely critical.

I felt uncomfortable with the tone though whether he meant to purposfully or not and as I said I did try and change topic multiple times but he kept on going back to prostitutes and talking about them in a pretty horrible way.

Millicent

pmcmahon wrote: »

ask the first question on the contrary and then query that she won't call the guards because deep down she knows too it's completely bollocks being blown out of proportion.

This right here is why people are afraid to report sexual assaults. This horrible attitude that presumes it's all in the OP's head and not that she may be questioning it because people like you make her feel like she must be imagining it without knowing the whole situation yourself.

adrianna_cerva

Red21 wrote: »

OP, your posts which seem sincere are completely at odds with your tread title

Ooops sorry I wasnt sure what to call it!! I guess it was more I had an uncomfortable incident and I was very aware of being alone in the taxi/having a stranger knoe where I live but probably should have phrased the title better!

Millicent

johnners2981 wrote: »

So do you think of calling the guards every time you feel uncomfortable? I'm not defending his behaviour (he probably is a creep, how on earth did he end up talking about that?) but I do think you're overreacting.

I know I would not stay in the taxi for the whole journey if I felt so uncomfortable that I'd consider calling the guard

Not everyone responds to the same situations in the same way. Same as, for example, in an argument--some people will shout back, some people will get snarky, others will get quiet and others still might cry etc.

Same thing happens in intimidating situations. Not all people share the same fight or flight responses as you do.

Celly Smunt

adrianna_cerva wrote: »

I felt uncomfortable with the tone though whether he meant to purposfully or not and as I said I did try and change topic multiple times but he kept on going back to prostitutes and talking about them in a pretty horrible way.

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

greimorm

pmcmahon wrote: »

so taxi man talking about prostitutes in amsterdam in a horrible way (which i don't discredit it isn't the nicest topic to talk about)after being on holiday with the lads for a weekend,makes you feel like he is going to smash through your window and rape you at any minute?

HAHA in AH fashion pmcmahon.Tell the truth you are the taxi driver

Leave the poor girl alone lol

Celly Smunt

Millicent wrote: »

This right here is why people are afraid to report sexual assaults. This horrible attitude that presumes it's all in the OP's head and not that she may be questioning it because people like you make her feel like she must be imagining it without knowing the whole situation yourself.

it wasn't a sexual assault.Step back and look at what you're saying now.