Lies your school teachers would tell you

lazygal · 23-01-2012 04:09PM #1

Not talking about the God Made Us All variety, more stupid stuff you fell for as a kid. I had a teacher who told us the intercom in the corner of the room was a secret TV and the school principle would make sure we were all behaving ourselves by watching us. We all believed it for ages. Kids are stupid.

Lady Chuckles · 23-01-2012 04:11PM

"He pushed you so you fell over and hurt yourself? Awww, that means he loves you."

:mad: :pac:

IM0 · 23-01-2012 04:12PM

that the leaving cert is the be all and end all :mad:

Professey Chin · 23-01-2012 04:12PM

The Junior Cert was just as important as the leaving

sensibleken · 23-01-2012 04:12PM

Condoms dont work in either the prevention of AIDS or pregnancy.

theteal · 23-01-2012 04:12PM

ehhhhh, religion. . .

clashburke · 23-01-2012 04:13PM

eat your crusts or you will turn into a girl!!:rolleyes:

theres only 2 woman in your life... your mother and me!!
creepy much

Attabear · 23-01-2012 04:13PM

IM0 wrote: »

that the leaving cert is the be all and end all :mad:

That the leaving cert is the hardest exam you'll ever do.

sensibleken · 23-01-2012 04:14PM

That there are nine planets in the solar system

...poor pluto

Duggy747 · 23-01-2012 04:14PM

Pretty much that anything they taught me would somehow be useful in real life.

I'm still waiting for the oppertunity for when I'll have to use Calculus in a situation.....................and even then I won't be able to do it because I fecking forgot everything from school!

Oh, and that the Leaving Cert somehow is the biggest dealbreaker in your life.

smash · 23-01-2012 04:16PM

Yes, I'm sure this is how you conduct a proper medical.

Gumbo · 23-01-2012 04:16PM

very first day of school. It was 1985, sun was shining. i was walking holding my dads hand, he put me in a great seat, nice view, and near the back, so i wasnt a nerd

Teacher comes down, "Dads just gone to the toilet", While im enjoying the nice view, i see my dad running down the path and out of the school grounds.

Didnt like my teacher after that :mad:

newbee22 · 23-01-2012 04:16PM

Not so much a lie but in school( it was either senior infants or 1st) our teacher told us we would be going to visit Letterland, we thought we were going to be visiting Letterland on the bus, I thought we were going to Dublin or somewhere far away, turns out Letterland was in our classroom and we had been there once we had learnt all the letters!!
Speaking as a teacher I have used the intercom being a camera line, kids still fall for it these days!

Dan133269 · 23-01-2012 04:17PM

Christian Brother told us that the Virgin Mary appears every Friday at a certain time somewhere in the Former Yugoslavia. We were about 12/13. I asked him why cameras and television crews don't record it, he said "Oh sure everyone is so used to it now, people don't make a big fuss about it".

gamgsam · 23-01-2012 04:18PM

Reciting times tables - we never included 0
As in 0 x 9 = 0

One day the teacher goes "zero nines is nine, one nine is nine, two nines is eighteen"

I was ten years old and horrified! I thought of the cake logic they tell you when you are young. There are plates with nine slices of cake. You have no plates, how many slices of cake have you. I actually had to explain it like that to convince her.

Stupid teacher

Celly Smunt · 23-01-2012 04:18PM

"If you play with the girls toys your mickey will fall off"

davet82 · 23-01-2012 04:18PM

The other kids let me do this to them

krudler · 23-01-2012 04:18PM

IM0 wrote: »

that the leaving cert is the be all and end all :mad:

I dont even put my leaving results on cv's just the year I did it, havent done in years, doesnt matter once you have experience on your cv. does your A in geography really influence a prospective employers opinion in a retail job, does it fcuk.

BunShopVoyeur · 23-01-2012 04:19PM

Religion was a real subject.

Attabear · 23-01-2012 04:20PM

krudler wrote: »

I dont even put my leaving results on cv's just the year I did it, havent done in years, doesnt matter once you have experience on your cv. does your A in geography really influence a prospective employers opinion in a retail job, does it fcuk.

Might ensure you could find your way into work though.

PseudoFamous · 23-01-2012 04:20PM

Poetry is just as important as trigonometry.

Coriolanus · 23-01-2012 04:20PM

I don't think we had any teachers like that in our school. It was pretty liberal so we usually got straight answers to anything we asked.

sensibleken · 23-01-2012 04:21PM

PseudoFamous wrote: »

Poetry is just as important as trigonometry.

way more important for talking to girls

Attabear · 23-01-2012 04:22PM

PseudoFamous wrote: »

Poetry is just as important as trigonometry.

But, but.....trigonometry is poetry.

Sonovagun · 23-01-2012 04:23PM

That She "had to suck the poison out or I'd die", I was 17!

Shanotheslayer · 23-01-2012 04:23PM

'There are no jobs' just so we would study so much hard to get into college.

I got one as did a good few of my mates

what the hell! · 23-01-2012 04:25PM

Ha I still use the intercom is a camera line too in my classroom!

IM0 · 23-01-2012 04:26PM

newbee22 wrote: »

Not so much a lie but in school( it was either senior infants or 1st) our teacher told us we would be going to visit Letterland, we thought we were going to be visiting Letterland on the bus, I thought we were going to Dublin or somewhere far away, turns out Letterland was in our classroom and we had been there once we had learnt all the letters!!
Speaking as a teacher I have used the intercom being a camera line, kids still fall for it these days!

congratulations on keeping peoples mental health problems going strong and paranoia alive and well fostered *shakes hand*

fro9etb8j5qsl2 · 23-01-2012 04:33PM

While handing me my corrected history mock paper in 6th year, the teacher told me I'd have to do better for 'the real thing'....

I HAD GOTTEN AN A1 FFS!!!!!

The dopey bint :rolleyes:

fro9etb8j5qsl2 · 23-01-2012 04:35PM

Sonovagun wrote: »

That She "had to suck the poison out or I'd die", I was 17!

Are you still alive???? :pac:

danniemcq · 23-01-2012 04:56PM

Not really lies but more like useless teachers

I was told rattlesnakes were harmless to humans

when i asked why there is snow on top of mountains when the peak is closer to the sun so should be warmer i was told to get the atlas.

when i did she told me to feel the ridges that showed the mountains

then came out with the classic line "see its not all that different"

that was it, no further explanation, nothing.

Lies your school teachers would tell you

Comments