Lies your school teachers would tell you

lazygal

Not talking about the God Made Us All variety, more stupid stuff you fell for as a kid. I had a teacher who told us the intercom in the corner of the room was a secret TV and the school principle would make sure we were all behaving ourselves by watching us. We all believed it for ages. Kids are stupid.

Lady Chuckles

"He pushed you so you fell over and hurt yourself? Awww, that means he loves you."

:mad: :pac:

IM0

that the leaving cert is the be all and end all :mad:

Professey Chin

The Junior Cert was just as important as the leaving

sensibleken

Condoms dont work in either the prevention of AIDS or pregnancy.

theteal

ehhhhh, religion. . .

clashburke

eat your crusts or you will turn into a girl!!:rolleyes:

theres only 2 woman in your life... your mother and me!!
creepy much

Attabear

IM0 wrote: »

that the leaving cert is the be all and end all :mad:

That the leaving cert is the hardest exam you'll ever do.

sensibleken

That there are nine planets in the solar system


...poor pluto

Duggy747

Pretty much that anything they taught me would somehow be useful in real life.

I'm still waiting for the oppertunity for when I'll have to use Calculus in a situation.....................and even then I won't be able to do it because I fecking forgot everything from school!

Oh, and that the Leaving Cert somehow is the biggest dealbreaker in your life.

smash

Yes, I'm sure this is how you conduct a proper medical.

Gumbo

very first day of school. It was 1985, sun was shining. i was walking holding my dads hand, he put me in a great seat, nice view, and near the back, so i wasnt a nerd

Teacher comes down, "Dads just gone to the toilet", While im enjoying the nice view, i see my dad running down the path and out of the school grounds.

Didnt like my teacher after that :mad:

newbee22

Not so much a lie but in school( it was either senior infants or 1st) our teacher told us we would be going to visit Letterland, we thought we were going to be visiting Letterland on the bus, I thought we were going to Dublin or somewhere far away, turns out Letterland was in our classroom and we had been there once we had learnt all the letters!!
Speaking as a teacher I have used the intercom being a camera line, kids still fall for it these days!

Dan133269

Christian Brother told us that the Virgin Mary appears every Friday at a certain time somewhere in the Former Yugoslavia. We were about 12/13. I asked him why cameras and television crews don't record it, he said "Oh sure everyone is so used to it now, people don't make a big fuss about it".

gamgsam

Reciting times tables - we never included 0
As in 0 x 9 = 0

One day the teacher goes "zero nines is nine, one nine is nine, two nines is eighteen"

I was ten years old and horrified! I thought of the cake logic they tell you when you are young. There are plates with nine slices of cake. You have no plates, how many slices of cake have you. I actually had to explain it like that to convince her.

Stupid teacher

Celly Smunt

"If you play with the girls toys your mickey will fall off"

davet82

The other kids let me do this to them

krudler

IM0 wrote: »

that the leaving cert is the be all and end all :mad:

I dont even put my leaving results on cv's just the year I did it, havent done in years, doesnt matter once you have experience on your cv. does your A in geography really influence a prospective employers opinion in a retail job, does it fcuk.

BunShopVoyeur

Religion was a real subject.

Attabear

krudler wrote: »

I dont even put my leaving results on cv's just the year I did it, havent done in years, doesnt matter once you have experience on your cv. does your A in geography really influence a prospective employers opinion in a retail job, does it fcuk.

Might ensure you could find your way into work though.

PseudoFamous

Poetry is just as important as trigonometry.

Coriolanus

I don't think we had any teachers like that in our school. It was pretty liberal so we usually got straight answers to anything we asked.

sensibleken

PseudoFamous wrote: »

Poetry is just as important as trigonometry.

way more important for talking to girls

Attabear

PseudoFamous wrote: »

Poetry is just as important as trigonometry.

But, but.....trigonometry is poetry.

Sonovagun

That She "had to suck the poison out or I'd die", I was 17!

Shanotheslayer

'There are no jobs' just so we would study so much hard to get into college.

I got one as did a good few of my mates

what the hell!

Ha I still use the intercom is a camera line too in my classroom!

IM0

newbee22 wrote: »

Not so much a lie but in school( it was either senior infants or 1st) our teacher told us we would be going to visit Letterland, we thought we were going to be visiting Letterland on the bus, I thought we were going to Dublin or somewhere far away, turns out Letterland was in our classroom and we had been there once we had learnt all the letters!!
Speaking as a teacher I have used the intercom being a camera line, kids still fall for it these days!

congratulations on keeping peoples mental health problems going strong and paranoia alive and well fostered *shakes hand*

fro9etb8j5qsl2

While handing me my corrected history mock paper in 6th year, the teacher told me I'd have to do better for 'the real thing'....

I HAD GOTTEN AN A1 FFS!!!!!

The dopey bint :rolleyes:

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Sonovagun wrote: »

That She "had to suck the poison out or I'd die", I was 17!

Are you still alive???? :pac:

danniemcq

Not really lies but more like useless teachers

I was told rattlesnakes were harmless to humans

when i asked why there is snow on top of mountains when the peak is closer to the sun so should be warmer i was told to get the atlas.

when i did she told me to feel the ridges that showed the mountains

then came out with the classic line "see its not all that different"

that was it, no further explanation, nothing.

El Weirdo

That we would be working in paperless offices when we were older - everything would be done on computers.

Bollocks.