Bridesmaids costs!

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 03:04PM #1

After a long search I have decided to buy my bridesmaids dresses online. The dresses in the bridal shops here are so expensive, I really wasn't expecting to have to pay the guts of €300 per dress. I have four bridesmaids and my buget just doesn't stretch that far!

So, am I supposed to buy shoes, a bag and jewellry aswell? Am I supposed to buy them a gift, or do I let them keep the dress? Do I cover the cost of their hair & make up too?

I don't want to come across as mean but money is tight. I'd have been happy with one bridesmaid but I had to even the sides up!

Minier81 · 20-01-2012 03:14PM

If you are happy for them to just wear shoes they already own then you won't have to buy new ones. Its not fair to expect bridesmaids to buy new shoes to go with the dresses you choose for your wedding. If the dresses are long their own shoes might do. Bags are harder, as everyone will see them so you'll need to buy some.

As for hair and make-up normally the bride would pay for these too. If they are good at doing their own make-up then let me off, but if not fair to expect the bridesmaids to fork out.

Personally I would make the present a piece of jewellery that they can wear on the day - kill 2 birds here!!

Why not look somewhere like Kildare village for Bridesmaids dresses - my cousin got 3 lovely dresses there for her bridesmaids for around a €100 each.

Cathmandooo · 20-01-2012 03:17PM

I believe the norm to be that the bride pays for bridesmaid dress, shoes, bouquet, hair, make up and you could buy jewellery as a gift.

If money is tight you could ask them if they'd mind if you tried to sell the dresses on afterwards. But you're buying them for them.

I don't see the need for buying bags

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 03:27PM

I wouldn't expect them to buy new shoes or a bag - a pre existing pair of black peeptoes would be fine, and I know they all have a pair!

I guess I'll pick up some bags / jewellry off eBay so.

It just seems a bit much to pay for absolutely everything, if they were coming as regular guests chances are they'd buy a new frock and get their hair done anyway. If I was a bridesmaid I wouldn't expect to be on a total and utter freebie. Maybe that's just me though!

Dolbert · 20-01-2012 03:28PM

Try the Debenhams sales for bridesmaids dresses, you could pick them up for a song.

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 03:32PM

The High Street is out unfortunately due to sizing.

Dolbert · 20-01-2012 03:40PM

Ah fair enough - afaik most of the Debenhams formal wear goes up to a 22.

Rew · 20-01-2012 04:03PM

My fiancee shopped around a lot got the dresses online for them all for about 300 total. Shoes on sale in Dorothy Perkins at 17 euro a pair. Jewelry off ebay. So it can def be done on a budget.

Cathmandooo · 20-01-2012 04:09PM

They'd be paying for their own accommodation so they're hardly getting everything as a freebie. Theyd probably give you and your partner a gift too.

Then you add in the time theyve spent helping you, the time going dress shopping, the time organising your hen night, gifts or games on the hen night, helping with the invites and mass booklets. Most bridesmaids do a lot of work, while I'm sure they're delighted to do it its still a lot of work so I wouldn't see it as a case of them having a freebie day and comparing them to what your normal guests fork out for themselves on the day

lazygal · 20-01-2012 04:13PM

I would think if you've asked people to help you by being part of the bridal party you absorb any and all costs. I only had one BM for this very reason, it was what I could afford. Did you not budget for the cost of several bridesmaids when you started planning the wedding? I'd be quite annoyed if I agreed to be a BM and had to pay for any part of my outfit. I know not everyone thinks that way but I wonder why people have more than one BM if they can't pay for it? We paid for all the outfits, accomodation, hair and makeup/hot shave and gave our GM and BM a nice gift to say thank you. I would have felt really cheeky asking my BM to sort out her own shoes, not everyone has a dressy pair of shoes so you might well be putting people on the spot asking them to sort it out themselves.

Dolbert · 20-01-2012 04:15PM

I've heard of people getting good results from Lightinthebox.com too for bridesmaids dresses.

Steveo.1985 · 20-01-2012 04:19PM

Bride101 wrote: »

After a long search I have decided to buy my bridesmaids dresses online. The dresses in the bridal shops here are so expensive, I really wasn't expecting to have to pay the guts of €300 per dress. I have four bridesmaids and my buget just doesn't stretch that far!

So, am I supposed to buy shoes, a bag and jewellry aswell? Am I supposed to buy them a gift, or do I let them keep the dress? Do I cover the cost of their hair & make up too?

I don't want to come across as mean but money is tight. I'd have been happy with one bridesmaid but I had to even the sides up!

Hi myself and my girlfriend are getting married in September and my girlfriend has ordered all her bridesmaids dresses (5) from Tidebuy.com and she was really really happy with them and we paid about €400 for the lot. Hope this is of some help

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 05:05PM

Cathmandooo wrote: »

They'd be paying for their own accommodation so they're hardly getting everything as a freebie. Theyd probably give you and your partner a gift too.

Then you add in the time theyve spent helping you, the time going dress shopping, the time organising your hen night, gifts or games on the hen night, helping with the invites and mass booklets. Most bridesmaids do a lot of work, while I'm sure they're delighted to do it its still a lot of work so I wouldn't see it as a case of them having a freebie day and comparing them to what your normal guests fork out for themselves on the day

I guess that depends on what your bridesmaids do. I've done all of the above myself and there's no hen. So essentially they have less to do than a guest, seeing as they don't have to think about what to wear

Also, there's nobody forcing them to stay over.

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 05:07PM

Bags, earrings and necklaces bought, courtesy of iOffer. So don't get your knickers in a twist people! Oh hang on... do I have to provide knickers?

Sleepy · 20-01-2012 05:12PM

Only if you have an objection to them going commando

(well, you did mention selling on the dresses!)

maryk123 · 20-01-2012 05:23PM

If i was asked to be bridesmaid and asked to pay for my own dress because you have 4 and cant afford it I would be disgusted to be honest. Then you are moaning about having to pay for hair and jewellery. that is just mad. you asked them you pay for them. if you can afford it start cutting down on groomsmen and then bridesmaids. if i was asked to pay i would say no thank you.

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 05:27PM

Wow. Bridezillas really do exist. Some of you are scary. I was just making the point that it is costing more to dress the bridesmaids than it is to dress the bride.

maryk123 - Get off your high horse, nowhere did I say I was going to ask the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses. Read the post again. Slowly.

I was merely asking if other brides were paying for everything from make up to shoes, along with gifts etc.

silly · 20-01-2012 05:29PM

Dolorous wrote: »

I've heard of people getting good results from Lightinthebox.com too for bridesmaids dresses.

I got my 4 bridesmaids dresses here, they were perfect! Only cost about €80 each + customs.
They wore their own shoes.
Dress was one shoulder so no necklace.
Bought bracelets in debenhams sale.
Earrings from Avon
Got them a personalised compact mirror on eBay only €12.50 each.
Paid for their tan (ask for a discount if you are paying for 5-6 tans)
Paid for their hair /makeup.
They keep their dresses.
No bags.

Midnight Sundance · 20-01-2012 05:38PM

I will be bridesmaid later in the year and the bride will pay for our dress, we'll get our own shoes, I'm glad of this because I do t want very high shoes whereas other bridesmaids do.
I wouldn't expect tan to be paid for but I would expect my hair and make up paid for.
Reasons being... The bride wants our hair a certain way and to look professsional in the photos, also if we all do our own make up then we could all come out different in photos. The professionals use make up designed for cameras and that last. Don't see why we should have to fork out to look a certain way that the bride wants.
She wouldn't allow it's to pay for that anyways.

Bride101 · 20-01-2012 05:46PM

Hi Silly! I've just had a look at those mirrors, they are lovely. I think I'll order them!

Light In The Box is good, I got a dress from there before. My gripe with the €300 dresses here is that they are not worth €300, nowhere near it. The quality isn't any better than the China dresses. The mark up is enormous.

I was in a bridal shop a few months ago and there was a sales assistant in the back room unpacking a big box of dresses, taking them out of the plastic bags, steaming them and putting them out in the show room. I couldn't help but wonder if they were buying them for $40 a pop from Light In The Box or Dino Direct.

lazygal · 20-01-2012 06:16PM

Bride101 wrote: »

Wow. Bridezillas really do exist. Some of you are scary. I was just making the point that it is costing more to dress the bridesmaids than it is to dress the bride.

How is it being a Bridezilla to suggest that you, the bride, pay for the choices you made for your wedding? I would think its far more bridezilla-ish to ask how you can get away with not paying for the routine expenses incurred in being part of a bridal party. If it's costing more to dress your bridal party, that's your affair, not the fault of the party themselves.

Dolbert · 20-01-2012 06:20PM

lazygal wrote: »

How is it being a Bridezilla to suggest that you, the bride, pay for the choices you made for your wedding? I would think its far more bridezilla-ish to ask how you can get away with not paying for the routine expenses incurred in being part of a bridal party. If it's costing more to dress your bridal party, that's your affair, not the fault of the party themselves.

Eh, she never said she was trying to get out of it, just looking for suggestions of how to reduce the expense

People can get the nose taken off them for simply asking a question in here it seems...

lazygal · 20-01-2012 06:24PM

Dolorous wrote: »

Eh, she never said she was trying to get out of it, just looking for suggestions of how to reduce the expense People can get the nose taken off them for simply asking a question in here it seems...

I made the point that most brides don't reduce those expenses, they pay for what they chose to have. Its common sense that if you are asking someone to be a part of your day, stand in photos and be part of the ceremony, you pay for them! She should have budgeted for this from the start, like any other wedding cost, not try to get ideas on how to cut back on things she should be paying for. and when people suggested that, the OP said those who suggested that were the bridezillas, which makes no sense.

Clare Bear · 20-01-2012 07:24PM

Add in accomodation in the hotel to that too if they're staying in the hotel (though I'm hearing of people lately that don't pay for the bridal party?? Thought that was a bit mean) Yep it's expensive having bridesmaids but that's weddings for you. Mine are wearing their own shoes. You don't have to go overboard on expensive jewellery, I don't see the need for a buying them bags provided they have small bouquets in whatever flower deal you're getting. If they're decent at doing their own make up you could save money that way but you'd have to pay for their hair. I mean they're doing you a favour at the end of the day is the way I see it, I don't want them forking out for anything. I've been bridesmaid and everything was paid for, I assumed it was the norm. Bridesmaid dresses are very expensive here so try online, lots of bargains to be had, just do your research.

whatdoicare · 20-01-2012 07:29PM

Monsoon is having an amazing sale at the moment - managed to get a silk dress (pale grey/lilac with teal floral print that would easily be a bridesmaids dress) for 27 euros down from 150 euros - they had all sizes up to 22. Worth checking out - they have some lovely stuff here in Limerick. Shoes and jewellery were on sale here too but I got the shoes in teal to go with the dress in new look for 12 euros and the bag and jewellery in accessorize for 5 and 3 euros.

Complete outfit for under 50 euro.

Even if you can't get all the same dress in the sizes - why not get different dresses all in the one colour? Or in complimentary shades. I've seen it done in Weddings and it really looks classy.

Hope that helps

amdublin · 20-01-2012 07:57PM

Bride101 wrote: »

Hi Silly! I've just had a look at those mirrors, they are lovely. I think I'll order them!

Light In The Box is good, I got a dress from there before. My gripe with the €300 dresses here is that they are not worth €300, nowhere near it. The quality isn't any better than the China dresses. The mark up is enormous.

I was in a bridal shop a few months ago and there was a sales assistant in the back room unpacking a big box of dresses, taking them out of the plastic bags, steaming them and putting them out in the show room. I couldn't help but wonder if they were buying them for $40 a pop from Light In The Box or Dino Direct.

Why are you buying those dresses then??

Go to debenhams and get the dresses there, they do plus sizes.

LBD · 20-01-2012 07:57PM

Clare Bear wrote: »

Add in accomodation in the hotel to that too if they're staying in the hotel (though I'm hearing of people lately that don't pay for the bridal party?? Thought that was a bit mean) Yep it's expensive having bridesmaids but that's weddings for you. Mine are wearing their own shoes. You don't have to go overboard on expensive jewellery, I don't see the need for a buying them bags provided they have small bouquets in whatever flower deal you're getting. If they're decent at doing their own make up you could save money that way but you'd have to pay for their hair. I mean they're doing you a favour at the end of the day is the way I see it, I don't want them forking out for anything. I've been bridesmaid and everything was paid for, I assumed it was the norm. Bridesmaid dresses are very expensive here so try online, lots of bargains to be had, just do your research.

And I would say don't include the cost of accomodation. People seem very split on this one. Boards is the only place I have heard of the bride and groom having to pay for bridal party accom. No one I know has paid for it and at the same time no bridesmaids I know have ever expected it! Just my opinion though no implying anyone is wrong!!!!

Like whatdoicare suggested when I got married I chose a colour but had the girls in different dresses. Worked out really well and looKed great!

We covered the cost of dresses, hair, makeup. One of the bridesmaids is a beautician so did the tan and nails free (I got her a special gift though). And I got them jewellery as a pressie! I bought them the shoes simply as all the dresses were different i wanted their shoes the same and I as chose them I wouldn't expect them to pay for them..

maryk123 · 20-01-2012 10:32PM

I read it again slowly and still think the same thing.
not on a high horse at all. i just think if you ask someone you need to pay.
my opinion.

Monife · 21-01-2012 01:50AM

I only had one bridesmaid and I got her dress off Dino Direct. Made to her exact measurements and it fit her like a glove. It comes wrapped very small so you have to steam it to get the creases out and it's not the best made but you wouldn't notice it unless you had your eyes right beside the dress. Including shipping it was €65 and you could prob get a discount if you are ordering more than one.

She used her own shoes. Didn't want tan as she is very pale. Paid for her hair and makeup (€50 in total) and I am so glad I did because it really transformed her and she looked gorgeous and totally the part (she is usually quite hippy-ish and I had her in a fuschia floor length dress

)

I got her an antique necklace from Newbridge for €40 as a pressie and she wore it on the day.

So total cost for 1 bridesmaid = €155 (Oh and my Dad paid for her room, which wasn't expensive at all)

ElleEm · 21-01-2012 11:29AM

Bride101 wrote: »

After a long search I have decided to buy my bridesmaids dresses online. The dresses in the bridal shops here are so expensive, I really wasn't expecting to have to pay the guts of €300 per dress. I have four bridesmaids and my buget just doesn't stretch that far!

So, am I supposed to buy shoes, a bag and jewellry aswell? Am I supposed to buy them a gift, or do I let them keep the dress? Do I cover the cost of their hair & make up too?

I don't want to come across as mean but money is tight. I'd have been happy with one bridesmaid but I had to even the sides up!

If you want them to have the same shoes, same hair, same bag and same jewellry as each other, then you should pay for them.

You asked them to do you a favour by being part of your Bridal party, so you should pay for all the bits that YOU require them to have on the day.

I thought that was obvious for weddings.

Toots · 21-01-2012 04:05PM

Do you mind me asking what sizes you're looking for? A friend of mine had 5 bridesmaids ranging in size from a 4 up to a 26 I think, and she said she got the dresses for a good bargain. I can't remember where she got them but I can find out if you like.

Bridesmaids costs!

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