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Am I over reacting?

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Comments

  • #92
    Squiggler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    I think the OP is the only one posting here who seems to be consciously aware that there are two sides to every story, and that it is ok for people not to be the same as everyone else.

    He's not REFUSING to buy her an engagement ring, he just freaked at the OTT quote he got for the most expensive diamonds the jeweller could try to flog to them. Not unreasonable given the price of diamonds these days.

    The shopping thing and splitting bills, that can become habit, stupid and petty, but not a hanging offence surely?

    OP, as I said before, it's good that you're talking about it with each other, keep that up. If he's being petty about something call him on it, as nicely as possible.

    While there is no reason that you should feel trapped in a relationship there is also no reason why you couldn't walk away and find another, so don't make that the reason to stay. But as long as there is communication there is a possibility of remedy.

    None of us know him, and we certainly aren't in a position to decide what his friends and family think of him.


  • #93
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    To the OP's boyfriend.

    TBH I doubt you've bothered to find this thread describing what's so upsetting the woman you "love". The fact you can't be bothered to get her a lousy card or pressie or even say "happy birthday" indicates that you're more than likely counting receipts or polishing your boat than trying to figure out how you can make it up to your girlfriend. However, on the off chance you're reading this there's a couple of things you should know. Even when you have someone crushed to such an extent that they justify it, even then they can wake up and if your gf does then you are screwed, you're going to end up very very very lonely. From what I hear EVERYONE knows what you're like, even if you find someone who hasn't heard of your antics they'll have you copped within five minutes and they'll be gone. You got with the OP when she was very young and didn't know any better, didn't know the way you are is gross and she just assumed that was ok and became a master of excusing and justifying. If she wakes and walks you'll get a real wake up call trying ANY of the **** you do on her on a mature woman, jesus you'll more than likely get a kick in the balls. Is there anyway to avoid all that and change? Yes, there is. You need to learn to share, and share properly. Not as in what's hers is yours and yours is your own, rather in the healthy way of treating each other as equals. Spoiling her occasionally as she does you. Making her feel beautiful and wanted and cherished. If you can cop on and stop the scrooge routine then that's brilliant.

    Best of luck


  • #94
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Squiggler wrote: »
    I think the OP is the only one posting here who seems to be consciously aware that there are two sides to every story, and that it is ok for people not to be the same as everyone else.

    He's not REFUSING to buy her an engagement ring, he just freaked at the OTT quote he got for the most expensive diamonds the jeweller could try to flog to them. Not unreasonable given the price of diamonds these days.

    The shopping thing and splitting bills, that can become habit, stupid and petty, but not a hanging offence surely?

    OP, as I said before, it's good that you're talking about it with each other, keep that up. If he's being petty about something call him on it, as nicely as possible.

    While there is no reason that you should feel trapped in a relationship there is also no reason why you couldn't walk away and find another, so don't make that the reason to stay. But as long as there is communication there is a possibility of remedy.

    None of us know him, and we certainly aren't in a position to decide what his friends and family think of him.

    As sunflower27 pointed out, the OP herself has mentioned the comments from his friends and family. Nobody here is assuming anything other than what the OP has told us.

    I have to ask you though Squiggler, do you really see no issue with a man saying to his partner of 11 years, who he intends to marry and who is unfortunately unemployed and on the dole at present, "why would I want to get married to somebody like you, you can't even save any money"?

    To me that just has a level of disrespect that should ot exist between two people who are meant to love each other and are meant to be planning their future together. He is aware of how she feels about this issue. She's told him. He hasn't take her concerns and her hurt onboard though. Instead she's excusing his behaviour (which is what made her post here in the first place) and placing the blame on herself.

    I genuinely hope the OP does manage to sort things out but after 11 years of this behaviour her partner is extremely unlikely to change. That she thinks she's too old to start again seems to be a huge factor for her. I personally will never understand this mindset and I feel sorry for anyone who is willing to put up with crappy treatment because they can't face being single.


  • #95
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    And anyway, seeing as he sits around all day eating, wouldn't that balance out a bit of Ben & Jerry's. He's sooooooooooooo blatantly taking the piss it is unreal.


    And now I think you're blatently twisting what I said. He doesn't sit around all day eating. You make him sound like a layabout and he's far from it. His workshop is adjacent to the house, so he comes in for meals, to use the computer, breaks, has tea, fruit, biscuits etc.


  • #96
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    Op you seem happy with your lot now that he hasn't asked for money for milk in a week... You don't seem to want to take peoples points here so I dont see how this thread is of any more use to you.

    To the boyfriend - shame on you for your behaviour and mind games. You seem to have her wrapped up in your web but at least other people have copped in to you...


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  • #97
    Squiggler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 945 ✭✭✭Squiggler


    Chinafoot wrote: »
    I have to ask you though Squiggler, do you really see no issue with a man saying to his partner of 11 years, who he intends to marry and who is unfortunately unemployed and on the dole at present, "why would I want to get married to somebody like you, you can't even save any money"?

    What was the context? Were they arguing at the time? For all we know that was a response to some similar statement. We've all said things we didn't mean/instantly regretted in fights.

    The OP, as many on this forum, posted the original post when she was angry and distressed about something, but as she has continued to post here the story has changed and softened quite a bit, you call it justifying, but as someone who's been angry before I am willing to think that it might be that the anger has faded and things really aren't as bad as they were first painted.

    Not saying they have a perfect relationship, but who does? Talking to each other is the only way they can fix it.


  • #98
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Get rid of this looser. This man is shrewd and mean. He is using your money to pay for his food and his bills. He then has the neck to complain about how much you spend on a bottle of shampoo. You not working at the moment and you can't save x amount of money each day or week towards his car, boat ect.
    Do not get engaged to this man - he is to mean to buy you a birthday present or spend money on an engagement ring when he has a good car, boat ect which he expects you to pay for. I can understand him not spend money on credit card but not spending money on birthday present or on a engagement ring when he is earning good money in his job should alert you to his problem. Your life with him will be dreadful.
    A girl I know married a guy some what like the man you are with at the moment.
    They have turned into the tightest couple you could meet. They are always complaining when they have to spend money. There income is €100k plus a year. They had to change there car this year & they went to every garage in Ireland before buying a 2nd hand car. They bought all 2nd hand stuff when they had a child. This Christmas they did not even have Christmas presents to the value of €20 for some family members who brought them presents. Is this what you want your life to end up like?


  • #99
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    sunflower27 wrote: »
    Ah, here we go. You said yourself that he eats more than you because he works from home. Did you not say that? Did you not say that he eats more food and uses more electricity and yet doesn't factor that in to the 'bill splitting'?

    I am not twisting your words. You said he does these things. Obviously he doesn't eat all day, we know he works, but it was you that told us you felt it was unfair that he suits himself with regard to food consunption - and then makes you pay for shampoo despite the fact he consumes more food.

    In fact I think I asked you if you had ever mentioned that to him.

    You said:
    And anyway, seeing as he sits around all day eating, wouldn't that balance out a bit of Ben & Jerry's. He's sooooooooooooo blatantly taking the piss it is unreal.

    Anybody who clicks on the last few pages of this thread would think he's the unemployed one, what you said takes what he does out of context. Yes he eats all his meals in the house, but he does NOT "sit around all day eating" and until recently when I was made unemployed, ate the lions share of food bought in the household. In the past 3/4 months I have been home pretty much all the time, so I have been eating in the house as well so while eating MORE hasn't been a factor of late, the splitting of the bills for reimbursement has as I have no disposable income.

    In reply to yor question, I had said it to him before I lost my job about eating way more of the household food than I did. We were going through bills and he questioned how much our monthly total food bill was (I can't even remember the amount) and that's when I told him that he ate far more in the house than I did.


  • #100
    Zen65
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,630 ✭✭✭Zen65


    unregistered wrote: »
    I can't talk to my friends about this, we haven't told anybody we're getting engaged and they would be appalled at his meanness, they already give him stick over it and I don't want to give them ammunition to give him a hard time. I'm just so upset that what should be a really special time is turning out terribly.

    Op, I'm really sorry to read all this. Part of me wants to tell you it's a good thing to be able to get a glimpse now of what your lives would be like as a married couple before you go through with it. Part of me says "well she sees now how he values her compared to his own little toys, so if she goes through with it she can't say her future misery is a surprise". But most of me is just appalled at the miserable nature of the man that you care for so much. I imagine how much greater your love would be for somebody who loved you as an equal, as a partner, rather than treating you as a financial burden. Most of me says you should tell your friends, because you need support to take action now before you turn this into an unhappy marriage.

    I do not want to suggest that you should split from this man. Perhaps you can get some help in the form of counselling where he can see the error of his ways, or at any rate where he can learn to behave in a different manner towards you.

    I would strongly suggest that you do not step any closer towards marriage until this behaviour is addressed. Do not compromise on the selection of ring (unless it turns out that he really is in a much worse financial position than you believe to be the case) because if you do that he will always view your wishes as negotiable whereas he treats his own as absolute. Make it clear that before you consider marrying him you want to have ground rules established around money. There must be some form of common pool of money from which all expenses are paid. A previous poster made a good suggestion about having a separate household account from which food, electricity, fuel, etc are paid. It is not necessary to contribute equally to the common pool, but each should probably contribute fairly (a % of net income).

    I wish you well, and I hope you remain strong about this. I understand you may love the man for his other charms, but your continued love for him despite his meanness is a remarkable charity on your part.

    Be at peace,

    Z


  • #101
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    I don't spend much time in this forum but your story really caught my attention. I've dealt with a number of women in abusive relationships and I would see this mans behaviour as a precursor one. Absolute control over finances along with a complete lack of respect or affection for you. I can't see it turning into anything nice. Your relationship is like that of a person and their accountant.

    Nobody is shelf material in their thirties. Financial problems can be worked out. These are no reasons to stay with someone. You say he places a higher value on money than you do. That's incorrect. He places a higher value on money than he places on you.


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  • #102
    amtc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭amtc


    I don't often post on the PI thread as things can so easily be misinterpreted.

    What I would say to you is from my experience. Dated (and was engaged) to a guy for 5 years. We both had good jobs, no money issues. I did notice the first few months that he was mean, but I put that down to being careful (now in truth at the time I would've been the other way).

    A couple of things really got me though -

    - we went on holiday - he really wanted a top in a designer store and knew I would've had to put it on my credit card. I had no problem doing this but he sulked for a day until I did it. To save the peace I did.

    - Meanness of pocket can translate through to meanness of mind. About four years in I did my back in and had to go home to my mother. He came to see me once in three months. His excuse was he didn't like my mother. Yes, he sent flowers etc. but it got me thinking that if I was ever really ill how would I deal with that? If we had children, what would happen?

    - The final moment was when we passed by a girl at a bus stop who was overweight and he was so cruel about her. For all we knew, she was pregnant, had some issues or simply was overweight - but what right had he to comment (and he wasn't God's gift either). We went into get petrol and he angled the window squirty things to spray out at her and drove past again. I just thought that was despicable.

    That was three years ago and I have never regretted getting rid of a relationship in that few white hot five minutes.

    A good friend of mine (who had a real whirlwind romance and within a year was married and has baby) said to me 'Know your own value'.

    It's so true.


  • #103
    Chinafoot
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    Squiggler wrote: »
    What was the context? Were they arguing at the time? For all we know that was a response to some similar statement. We've all said things we didn't mean/instantly regretted in fights.

    Which would be entirely acceptable if the attitude he has to money hadn't been so glaringly displayed throughout their 11 years together. It is a major issue between them and one which the OP has attempted to address. He refuses to alter his behaviour in any way and continues treating her disrespectfully.
    Squiggler wrote: »
    The OP, as many on this forum, posted the original post when she was angry and distressed about something, but as she has continued to post here the story has changed and softened quite a bit, you call it justifying, but as someone who's been angry before I am willing to think that it might be that the anger has faded and things really aren't as bad as they were first painted.

    The OP posted here because, as she said herself, the engagement ring issue was the straw that broke the camel's back. This is something that has been bothering her for literally years and something she has tried to rectify to no avail. She has done a u-turn because she has no intention of leaving this man (which is entirely her decision) and she believes that she would be "shelf-material" if she did. Of course she's trying to paint a better picture when almost every single reply has told her the same thing - he has no respect for her, is unsupportive and doesn't take her hurt and frustration on this issue into account.
    Squiggler wrote: »
    Not saying they have a perfect relationship, but who does? Talking to each other is the only way they can fix it.

    And by the sounds of things she has tried repeatedly. He is not willing to change.

    Ultimately the OP has made the decision to stay with him and that is her choice. We can go around and around here all day long but it won't make any odds. I personally just hope she is prepared for what the future brings because it's not going to be any different from the situation she is currently unhappy in.


  • #104
    LovelyLottie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 185 ✭✭LovelyLottie


    amtc wrote: »
    I don't often post on the PI thread as things can so easily be misinterpreted.

    What I would say to you is from my experience. Dated (and was engaged) to a guy for 5 years. We both had good jobs, no money issues. I did notice the first few months that he was mean, but I put that down to being careful (now in truth at the time I would've been the other way).

    A couple of things really got me though -

    - we went on holiday - he really wanted a top in a designer store and knew I would've had to put it on my credit card. I had no problem doing this but he sulked for a day until I did it. To save the peace I did.

    - Meanness of pocket can translate through to meanness of mind. About four years in I did my back in and had to go home to my mother. He came to see me once in three months. His excuse was he didn't like my mother. Yes, he sent flowers etc. but it got me thinking that if I was ever really ill how would I deal with that? If we had children, what would happen?

    - The final moment was when we passed by a girl at a bus stop who was overweight and he was so cruel about her. For all we knew, she was pregnant, had some issues or simply was overweight - but what right had he to comment (and he wasn't God's gift either). We went into get petrol and he angled the window squirty things to spray out at her and drove past again. I just thought that was despicable.

    That was three years ago and I have never regretted getting rid of a relationship in that few white hot five minutes.

    A good friend of mine (who had a real whirlwind romance and within a year was married and has baby) said to me 'Know your own value'.

    It's so true.

    Great post. "Know your own value" - this is my new mantra ;)


  • #105
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 19,021 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    unregistered wrote: »
    Going unregistered for this.

    My partner and I have been together over a decade, and during this time he has always been frugal with money, to the point that it's a joke between family and friends. He doesn't buy me christmas or birthday gifts, in 11 birthdays, I've got 3 gifts, only when he's reminded and pushed into it, I'm lucky if I get a card. 2 years ago he forgot to even say happy birthday, even when he was reminded the day before. I've got one christmas gift, that he had to buy as he got me in his familys kris kindle, so he bought me a cheap dvd. He has only ever bought me two bouquets of flowers, both in the first year or so of us going out, one for valentines, the other for my birthday because his sister made him, nothing since.

    I always buy him birthday and christmas presents and make a big fuss over him which he enjoys. I always buy his clothes, otherwise he would be threadbare! He gets annoyed at the price of clothes and resents buying them, yet accepts them when I do it.

    He's very funny about "sharing". We've lived together for 7 years and he refuses to open a joint bank account. Bills are split to the penny even though he works from home so uses more utilities than I do. I buy the groceries and he reimburses me, which is hell. He goes through every receipt and if there's anything on it that's moreso mine, eg shampoo and conditioner, he deducts it from his share. He eats far more food in the house than I do as he works from home so he has all meals and numerous cups of tea and snacks all day but this isn't taken into account. There's certain things I buy every week in the supermarket that are specifically for him, but I pay my share of these.

    Now, we've come to the point where we're getting engaged. Throughout the years I never made much of a fuss of not getting any presents because he always insinuated that when the time came he would get me something special. But now he's saying that the ring I wanted (and we both decided suited me) is too much. What has me so upset is that it's not like it's a €20k rock, it's quite small and insignificant compared to most. It's way smaller than any of my friends and family members and apart from that it was the one we both decided on. And now he's reneged on that. I feel that even if I chose the smallest ring in the shop it would be too much.

    We've been arguing for days about it, I just feel so upset, and I think I'm over reacting but part of me says I'm not, I deserve it. He's now saying "why would I want to get married to somebody like you, you can't even save any money". As it happens I lost my job, and while I have a small amount of savings, I haven't been able to add a penny to it while on social welfare and this is what he's getting at. His life revolves around money, making more money and spending it on himself. He's not poor, he has his own business, plenty of working capital and still doing ok for now and has accumulated a good bit in savings as well. He has a collection of "boys toys" (cars, a boat, and a mountain bike which cost more than the ring we had decided on)

    I can't talk to my friends about this, we haven't told anybody we're getting engaged and they would be appalled at his meanness, they already give him stick over it and I don't want to give them ammunition to give him a hard time. I'm just so upset that what should be a really special time is turning out terribly.

    He sounds like a nightmare,I could not live with him.
    Can you really put up with this for the rest of your life?
    What happens when your jsb changes to jsa if you do not get another job? As you are living together you will get 0.


  • #106
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,006 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Zen65 wrote: »
    Do not compromise on the selection of ring (unless it turns out that he really is in a much worse financial position than you believe to be the case) because if you do that he will always view your wishes as negotiable whereas he treats his own as absolute.


    I think this hits the nail on the head. When you're in a relationship where your other half believes that his/her viewpoint is always correct while you have to struggle to fit in around his/her life, I think this is a huge sign that the relationship will not work out in the long run unless the issues are addressed. Of course, in the case of this thread, the argument is about money and unfortunately for the OP, she will always have the fear that she (because she's a woman) will be seen as a 'gold digger' because she wants to discuss money matters.

    From what I've read, it seems as if your boyfriend is stingy and mean. Stingy because he's counting his pennies, and mean because he moans about you buying items that you need. Meanness can be shown in several different ways-eg when a girl puts her boyfriend down in front of his friends, when a guy makes fun of his girlfriend's weight etc. I bet you would look at these scenarios and think 'I would never put up with that'. Well people in this thread are looking at your scenario and are thinking 'I would never put up with that'. And the reason people are saying these things is because of things like receipt splitting, complaining about you eating a tub of ice cream. That goes much deeper than 'just watching the pennies'. I myself would never dream of saying to my boyfriend 'Well the razors are yours, and you eat more, so you pay more' because that would point to a meanness of spirit in myself that I just could not tolerate.

    You mentioned that your boyfriend would be embarrassed if you mentioned his meanness to anyone. That in itself is another red flag. Do you not think it's odd that your boyfriend worries more about what your friends/family think than what you think? Where do you think you come in his list of priorities? Because from where I'm standing, you're positioned very low on his list. And if you get married, that means you agree to his opinion of you, and will stay very low down his list of priorities for the rest of your life.

    Meanness is meanness in any shape or form. Just because it happens to be money that's highlighting your boyfriend's meanness, it doesn't make it any less worse than a girl constantly emasculating her boyfriend, or a guy constantly making fun of his girlfriend's weight.


  • #107
    amtc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭amtc


    Oh the more I read this (and as I said I don't post often on PI) just get out.

    I said meanness of mind, and another poster said meanness of spirit - they are the same thing. Do you really want someone like that? I mentioned a couple of the things my ex did but one more came to mind - we were going to a wedding of a family friend of his family and all the family put money into a card - he decided it was too much and took money out of it rather than putting it in. Despicable. I laughed it off at the time.

    I live on my own, since I split up from the guy I mentioned in my previous post, and I love it. The realisation for me was that when the chips were down and my back would not function I could not rely on him. My mum looked after me. I was back in work (and earning more than him) after a few months but it made me think what would happen if I couldn't.

    Get out while you can. It is so much better to be alone than lonely in a relationship. And that's from a girl who was engaged at 29 and thought she knew it all. And is now 38 and looking at my house that I bought, my door that I decide who comes in and out my self esteem that is through the ceiling my work I love, my family and my friends that are great.

    Yeah I get lonely. But you know what I go to bed with someone I love every night. And that's me.


  • #108
    countryliving
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 200 ✭✭countryliving


    hi there, i am sorry you have lost your job.
    tough times.
    your situation sounds like a nightmare.
    there is nothing worse than mean ness. in my opinion if someone is mean there is a a real nasty side to them.
    your other half works for himself, is doing ok therefore should be treating you and not halving groceries. he has probably been earning more money than you when you were working. it is ok though for him to have his toys to show off but won't buy you a christmas present or a birthday gift. he obviously has a few bob which makes this worse.
    don't get me wrong i am not a materialistic type of girl. its not about the money -its about the thought like for your birthday if he didnt have money just a gesture. i am not articulating this very well but we are talking here about generosity of spirit and somebody may not have a tosser but they are generous.
    i grew up in a family where my father was mean. so so mean...there is a very nasty side to him and he was not poor, my mother had a life of hell she was not working as mothers of that generation had to give up their job.
    i mean if he is like this at this stage of your relationship and he is arguing over the price of an engagement ring - he is supposed to be making you feel special and woo you and he should be doing something romantic of course couples stick to a budget but come on .....
    don't get me wrong i am an independent lady and when i go out with a guy i pay my way but it is definitely nice and shows their character if they pay for a few more things especially if they earn more money than me.
    if you are unemployed now - surely he is making your life very difficult now? like - do you still have to be paying for half the food? it is difficult enough being unemployed but having to deal with this meanness must be horrendous? i mean; ive a friend who has a very good job and her partner became unemployed and the poor guy is in bits but she happily gives him money cause hes not entitled to social welfare and she said she wouldnt want him without a penny and that is the way it should be. years ago when they first met as it turned out she was a broke student and he was earning great money so its swings and roundabouts.
    in my opinion having grown up with a father who is the meanest man in ireland it is hell...
    i hope you will be ok.....but i think mean people dont change.
    sorry for the long long reply.


  • #109
    Mini2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9 ✭Mini2011


    I think you are crazy marrying him but reading on further comments from yourself you love him and want to stay with him. I personally couldn't be happy with somebody so selfish as him.

    It seems to me that you are in a bad relationship but you don't want to change, maybe scared. . You make excuses for him even though u know deep down he's wrong. Obviously your friends can see it too if they are making these comments.

    Marry him with a cheap ring if u really want to. That's the least of your wories. Listening to him belittle you, not give you anything yet you spent everything on him and he has all his toys. What a joke. I want to shake you but no point. You're in it and seem happy enough to be there. Dont think you'll smell the coffee. Pity as I think you're wasted on him.


  • #110
    Garlic Suplmnt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 141 ✭✭Garlic Suplmnt


    OP, this guy is a pr1ck. Do yourself a favour.


  • #111
    Jenneke87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 807 ✭✭✭Jenneke87


    This whole story saddens me. He doesn't even grand you a E5 bottle shampoo. When my lover asked me what I wanted from christmas I asked him for a small thing and he gave it to me.....together with two other expensive giftset and it totally blew me away, I loved it so much. He did that because he knew how happy and suprised I would be. Your "partner" actually waits till the shops are closed and then suggests to buy you a present? Im speechless! You're right when you say it isn't about the gifts, but everybody wants to feel wanted, valued and to be considered worthy of love and affection and yes, sometimes that comes in the form of a thoughtful or funny gift. Why? Because it shows that the one that claims to love you went throught the "trouble"of spending his time and money on something to show you that you're loved. He doesn't even say happy birthday? I imagine if you had children they'd be waiting all day for their father to say "happy birthday" and it just never comes, because he really can't be bothered with anything,judging by your original post. I've seen dogs showing more affection to their owners for gods sake. Please have some self respect and leave this "man" and find a proper one.


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  • #112
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos



    LovelyLottie - we request all posters to use the "thanks" button to show support for individual posts instead of simply replying as you did.

    Garlic Suplmnt - if you have not already done so please review our Charter. The expectation is that all advice will not only be constructive but also civil.

    Thanks
    Taltos


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