14-year-old shoots himself after bullying

Gumbi · 13-01-2012 01:20PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cyberbulling is bullshít. Who honestly gets upset by words on the internet . In all honesty suicide is a horrible, selfish , terrible thing and it should be taken seriously . But if your kid is the type to commit suicide because of words on the internet then even if you stopped that happening , a week in the real world after school would set them off far worse than any 'cyber bullying' ever could

I agree, but it generally happens in cases where it is added torment, ie the bullying at school can now continue at home, thus exacerbating the situation for the person in question.

Personally, I don't agree with a lot of what Facebook entails.

sunflower27 · 13-01-2012 01:20PM

I'd love to see a campaign rolled out.

We see so many about drink driving - why not something for kids?

Obviously not every child that is bullied kills themselves (thank God), but for many their school years are fraught with suffering and sadness.

I post a good bit in PI and the amount of young people that post in their early 20s that are socially inept and insecure because of schoolyard bullying is rife.

I Heart Internet · 13-01-2012 01:21PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cyberbulling is bullshít. Who honestly gets upset by words on the internet . In all honesty suicide is a horrible, selfish , terrible thing and it should be taken seriously . But if your kid is the type to commit suicide because of words on the internet then even if you stopped that happening , a week in the real world after school would set them off far worse than any 'cyber bullying' ever could

No, it's not bull****.

Especially when, as a child, your world is quite small so people taking it over sending emails "from you" talking **** to people you know or writing obscence things on your facebook has a seemingly HUGE impact on them.

Of course, some kids/teens can stand up to it better but some can't handle it at all.

Degsy · 13-01-2012 01:22PM

CreepingDeath wrote: »

The kid isn't in gladiator school. :rolleyes:

What do you suggest then?

Going squealing to the teachers and making things worse?

Think they want to protect weak children 24/7?

You might never have stood up fopr yourself but its the only way to avoid being a victim..in school and in life generally.

Gumbi · 13-01-2012 01:22PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

No, it's not bull****.

Especially when, as a child, your world is quite small so people taking it over sending emails "from you" talking **** to people you know or writing obscence things on your facebook has a seemingly HUGE impact on them.

Of course, some kids/teens can stand up to it better but some can't handle it at all.

This is a solid reason why children should NOT be allowed on social networking sites. If you meant teen, then I agree with you.

Dravokivich · 13-01-2012 01:25PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cyberbulling is bullshít. Who honestly gets upset by words on the internet . In all honesty suicide is a horrible, selfish , terrible thing and it should be taken seriously . But if your kid is the type to commit suicide because of words on the internet then even if you stopped that happening , a week in the real world after school would set them off far worse than any 'cyber bullying' ever could

By saying cyberbullying, it sounds they are trying to make the internet sound like a beast that's part of the problem. But in essence all it is, is another schoolyard.

I can agree in part that the parents should be watching over their kids while online to be aware of what level of interaction is occurring and their kids know how to react/respond to it. Just as you would with kids in a playground/schoolyard/wherever.

This would not address the issue of bullying though as it is not held solely to any one medium and is most likely to be done where the bully does not expect to be challenged, which is a very real issue "In the real world."

MagicSean · 13-01-2012 01:25PM

sunflower27 wrote: »

Authorities as in the principal. I am well aware a teacher doesn't have the jurisdiction to remove a child. I am not an idiot.

So if you are aware of all this then why do you blame the teachers?

Gumbi · 13-01-2012 01:28PM

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then?

Going squealing to the teachers and making things worse?

Think they want to protect weak children 24/7?

You might never have stood up fopr yourself but its the only way to avoid being a victim..in school and in life generally.

Don't be so naive. You honestly think that such a black and white solution can solve such a complicated problem?

First of all, I don't think a child has the capacity to rationally defend himself if needs be, so in virtually all cases involving children, I would think that this solution would be incorrect.

Standing up for yourself doesn't necessitate physical violence. You've made several assertions in that post to which I simply couldn't be bothered responding.

gemma188 · 13-01-2012 01:29PM

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then?

Going squealing to the teachers and making things worse?

Think they want to protect weak children 24/7?

You might never have stood up fopr yourself but its the only way to avoid being a victim..in school and in life generally.

Or maybe some kids just have more class than to lower themselves to the level of a bully by engaging in a physical altercation. And how naive of you to suggest that its the only way to prevent bullying.

tiny_penguin · 13-01-2012 01:29PM

MagicSean wrote: »

So if you are aware of all this then why do you blame the teachers?

Cant speak for sunflower - but if the teachers sees something happen and does not tell the principal who is in a position to do something about it, then they are facilitating it.

msg11 · 13-01-2012 01:36PM

RIP to the poor young lad. He/It should never have come to him taken his own life.

On a side note, I am not joking here either. If this was America , he would have gone into the school and started shooting. Thankfully this is not America.

Hope the family pull together , such a sad time. A few more years he would have been out of school or sorted the situation out.

Degsy · 13-01-2012 01:36PM

gemma188 wrote: »

Or maybe some kids just have more class than to lower themselves to the level of a bully by engaging in a physical altercation. And how naive of you to suggest that its the only way to prevent bullying.

What then do you suggest for the classier child?

Wattle · 13-01-2012 01:36PM

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then?

Going squealing to the teachers and making things worse?

Think they want to protect weak children 24/7?

You might never have stood up fopr yourself but its the only way to avoid being a victim..in school and in life generally.

Going squealing to the teachers may be the solution. Guy in our school was constantly bullied by five or six other guys. He told the form master. The bullies, along with their parents, were hauled up in front of the school authorities, suspended and warned if it ever happened again they'd be expelled. The guy never got bullied again.

CreepingDeath · 13-01-2012 01:37PM

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then?

Going squealing to the teachers and making things worse?

Think they want to protect weak children 24/7?

Not all problems can be solved with your fists.

That approach might work in some rough inner city school where the bullies are a product of scumbag parents and the teachers don't care.
But most schools and parents would prefer a more civilised approach that addresses the issue of the bullies aggression.

ch750536 · 13-01-2012 01:38PM

Its a funny one because society tells us we should 'work things out' with others without violent means but that is not how the real world works.
I have 2 rules in life. Never live in fear. Never be led.
If you are living in fear then do something about it. With regards to bullies this is a tough one for parents but generally speaking giving as good as you get is the answer for kids. I have not known a bully yet that didn't respond to this. A good example is my son who is 7. He wasn't really being bullied but he had a friend who would constantly hit him even if he asked not to. He told the teachers about it and he just got hit when the teachers weren't there. I told him to hit them back but he refused to do this as it was against the school rules (and no amount of persuation would work on this one.) Finally he bumped into him outside school and gave him a good beating. He no longer gets hit.
The same is true with verbal \ social bullying. Get in their faces, dont back down. They soon stop. Match everything they do with a little more venom.
Appreciate this is not what many parents want to hear but once your kid makes a stand they feel fantastic and they walk a few inches taller. Having others solve their issues simply leaves them concerned at when the next bully will come along as they do not have the tools to sort the issue themselves.

Lanaier · 13-01-2012 01:39PM

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cyberbulling is bullshít. Who honestly gets upset by words on the internet .

Kids.

Degsy · 13-01-2012 01:39PM

CreepingDeath wrote: »

That approach might work in some rough inner city school where the bullies are a product of scumbag parents and the teachers don't care.
.

Is that where you went to school?

How long were you bullied for?

XenaLady · 13-01-2012 01:40PM

this is so sad I cant find the words :´(

Degsy · 13-01-2012 01:44PM

ch750536 wrote: »

Its a funny one because society tells us we should 'work things out' with others without violent means but that is not how the real world works.
I have 2 rules in life. Never live in fear. Never be led.
If you are living in fear then do something about it. With regards to bullies this is a tough one for parents but generally speaking giving as good as you get is the answer for kids. I have not known a bully yet that didn't respond to this. A good example is my son who is 7. He wasn't really being bullied but he had a friend who would constantly hit him even if he asked not to. He told the teachers about it and he just got hit when the teachers weren't there. I told him to hit them back but he refused to do this as it was against the school rules (and no amount of persuation would work on this one.) Finally he bumped into him outside school and gave him a good beating. He no longer gets hit.
The same is true with verbal \ social bullying. Get in their faces, dont back down. They soon stop. Match everything they do with a little more venom.
Appreciate this is not what many parents want to hear but once your kid makes a stand they feel fantastic and they walk a few inches taller. Having others solve their issues simply leaves them concerned at when the next bully will come along as they do not have the tools to sort the issue themselves.

+1

Parents and teachers cannot fight the childrens battles forever,the kid has got to learn to stick up for itself at some stage.

If the child doesnt then it will be haunted by feelings of inadequacy where it was aware of adults intervening all teh time because it couldnt sort out its own problems.

As i've already said,bullies will only pick on people who have proved themselves unwilling to defend themselves either verbally or physically and a child will always feel better after standing its own ground.

Bringing councillers and teachers and guards and focus groups into a childs development is wrong and will only result in esteem issues later on in life.

I Heart Internet · 13-01-2012 01:50PM

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then?

Going squealing to the teachers and making things worse?

Think they want to protect weak children 24/7?

You might never have stood up fopr yourself but its the only way to avoid being a victim..in school and in life generally.

You use "squealing" the same way a bully would.

It's not a bad thing to explain to those in authority (parents/teachers/principal) that another person is making your every waking moment a living hell (because that's what it becomes for those on the receiving end of the most severe bullying).

Would you extend your argument to society in general?

"Think the gardai want to protect weak people 24/7?"

There is a lot to be said for wtanding up for yourself and giving back some of what you get. But your notion that fighting off a bully (even if that were possible for the teen/child) is the best way forward is ridiculous.

I Heart Internet · 13-01-2012 01:52PM

Degsy wrote: »

+1

Parents and teachers cannot fight the childrens battles forever,the kid has got to learn to stick up for itself at some stage.

If the child doesnt then it will be haunted by feelings of inadequacy where it was aware of adults intervening all teh time because it couldnt sort out its own problems.

As i've already said,bullies will only pick on people who have proved themselves unwilling to defend themselves either verbally or physically and a child will always feel better after standing its own ground.

Bringing councillers and teachers and guards and focus groups into a childs development is wrong and will only result in esteem issues later on in life.

Your argument is fine except it doesn't work for every young person. Didn't work for the kid in the OP. Maybe he was gonna stick up for himself the next day, huh??

CreepingDeath · 13-01-2012 01:53PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

You use "squealing" the same way a bully would.

But your notion that fighting off a bully (even if that were possible for the teen/child) is the best way forward is ridiculous.

Well said.

And bullies tend to be cowards themselves.
They rarely attack on their own typically having a little gang of sidekicks around.

sunflower27 · 13-01-2012 01:56PM

MagicSean wrote: »

So if you are aware of all this then why do you blame the teachers?

Magicsean, I am not blaming teachers. I have an issue with teachers that turn a blind eye to it and refuse to report it to principals or people that can take up the complaint and follow it through.

I am sure there are many, many teachers out there that do the right thing. I'm hardly going to group all teachers under the same 'don't give a ****' umbrella, because that is ridiculous.

gemma188 · 13-01-2012 01:56PM

Degsy wrote: »

What then do you suggest for the classier child?

Confront the bully without using violence. Get class discussions started on the topic of bullying. Push for stories such as this poor child in Australia to be published in the school newsletter to make bully realise what their actions could drive someone to do. Talk to a parent. Report the bullying to a teacher. Lots of ways to resolve it without using your fists.

Bully's solve things by fighting. Why should someone who is better than this be forced to reduce themselves to such thuggery?

Degsy · 13-01-2012 02:01PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

You use "squealing" the same way a bully would.
.

Exactly what the bully will say to them when they find out that they told the teacher or whatever...

I Heart Internet wrote: »

It's not a bad thing to explain to those in authority (parents/teachers/principal) that another person is making your every waking moment a living hell.

No its not a bad thing to explain whats going on but at the heel of the hunt the kid should be able and willing to make a stand for himself...it sets a precedent for later on in life..if you get used to being a victim you will get good at being a victim.

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Would you extend your argument to society in general?

"Think the gardai want to protect weak people 24/7?" .

Yes..if people looked and acted less like victims then they will become victims less often.

I recently had to intervene on behalf of some bloke on the luas who was being robbed of his ipad..he was probably the only person on the carraige oblivious to the fact that two junkies were staring at him as he browsed away merrily.

He had no sense of spatial awareness and wasnt employing the slightest shred of common sense...basically he looked like he wasnt going to resist and as it turned out he didnt,me and another person had to come to his rescue..

I Heart Internet wrote: »

But your notion that fighting off a bully (even if that were possible for the teen/child) is the best way forward is ridiculous.

What do you suggest? That the bullied child pleads with them or starts crying in teh hope they'll leave him alone?
It doenst work like that..bullies thrive on weakness and weakness only.

RachaelVO · 13-01-2012 02:01PM

I can't find anything about this particular case online (YET). It's terribly sad that a 14 year old is driven to commit suicide. But I found this from a few months ago, and my heart has just broken reading it. A 10 Year old, a fecking 10 year old, killing herself.

http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Funeral-held-for-10-year-old-driven-to-suicide-by-bullying-134029088.html

On Wednesday the tragic funeral of Ashlynn Conners took place in Illinois. The 10-year-old girl was found dead in a closet by her elder sister last Friday.

Her family believes it was bullying by peers in her school and in the small town of Ridge Farm that drove her to commit suicide. Ashlynn’s body has been examined by the Vermilion County Coroner Peggy Johnson and an investigation by the Sheriff’s department into her suicide is ongoing.

Ashlynn’s grandmother, Lory Hackney, told the Chicago Tribune that she was being called “a boy” and fat or ugly.

She said “When she started cheering for youth football, we'd gotten her hair cut in a bob…The kids started making fun of her then. They started calling her a boy.''

Her grandmother said the taunting had been going on for some time.

On Thursday Ashlynn had asked her mom if she could be home schooled because she was being picked on at school. She assured her daughter they would speak to the school’s principle this week.

On Friday she heard her daughter telling a friend about the bullying on the phone. Just 30 minutes later Ashlynn’s 14-year-old sister found her dead in a closet.

Hackney, a retired nurse, attempted to give her granddaughter CPR. She said “I don't know what was so bad she couldn't wait."

Sadly suicide in young children appears to be uncommon it happens hundreds of times a year. The US Center for Disease Control states that more than 200 children, between the ages of 10 and 14 killed themselves between 1999 and 2005.

Now I don't care what anyone says, but 200 children between 10 and 14 in 6 years for the tiny population we've got is a worrying number. That works out at 33 a year for that time period in that age group. That's just beyond tragic!!!!

I've no words to describe the anger and upset I feel for those poor families, and the poor kids who are driven by such a sense of desperation!

CreepingDeath · 13-01-2012 02:01PM

In the States they charged all the bullies who drove an Irish girl to suicide.

Time to hunt down those bullies now in Ireland.
Get the bullies parents to see what damage they've done to others.

sunflower27 · 13-01-2012 02:05PM

CreepingDeath wrote: »

In the States they charged all the bullies who drove an Irish girl to suicide.

Time to hunt down those bullies now in Ireland.
Get the bullies parents to see what damage they've done to others.

Yes, it has been 'time' for a long time.

I've worked in media my entire professional life and would happily donate my time and experience into doing something about this.

Degsy · 13-01-2012 02:05PM

CreepingDeath wrote: »

In the States they charged all the bullies who drove an Irish girl to suicide.

Time to hunt down those bullies now in Ireland.
.

What will we charge them with?

Calling another six year old fat?

Accusing another ten year old of looking like a woman?

Slagging a fellow five year old over thier haircut?

Yep..we should bring out the special branch for that alright:rolleyes:

sunflower27 · 13-01-2012 02:08PM

Degsy wrote: »

What will we charge them with?

Calling another six year old fat?

Accusing another ten year old of looking like a woman?

Slagging a fellow five year old over thier haircut?

Yep..we should bring out the special branch for that alright:rolleyes:

Ever heard of suspension? Let the parents deal with looking after a bullying child for a period of time. Let the parent know what the outcome is if their child doesn't learn to respect others.

The other option is to just let it go, let a bully know that there are no consequences and let the bully grow up and get worse and worse.

14-year-old shoots himself after bullying

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