That Chap I was so fond of...

Cee-Jay-Cee · 12-01-2012 01:11PM #1

I know this is a sensitive issue as its a real life situation but i'm puzzled by the RSA ad on the radio/tv about the woman talking about her son who was knocked down and killed on the roads some time back. She describes the day it happened and her feelings on discovering her son was killed but ends it by saying 'this chap i was so fond of' Surely she could have managed to say 'my son who i loved dearly'or something along those lines rather than the somewhat cold line she came out with on the ad. It bugs me everytime i hear the ad and i keep thinking the RSA or whoever ran the ad will have cottoned on and re-done it with a different ending...i wait patiently.

stargazer 68 · 12-01-2012 01:12PM

Have to say OP I find it really odd too!!

MrStuffins · 12-01-2012 01:13PM

OP, that part really irks me too! It makes her sound so cold, like she's talking about some bloke she's met 4 or 5 times in the pub.

Ficheall · 12-01-2012 01:13PM

If I were going to let something like that bother me,

CJC999 wrote: »

'my son who i loved dearly'

would bother me more.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 12-01-2012 01:18PM

Ficheall wrote: »

If I were going to let something like that bother me,
would bother me more.

Ok maybe not that line but something a bit less cold than what she did say is what i'm getting at.

Micky Dolenz · 12-01-2012 01:19PM

He is more then just her son though. I wouldn't be so bold to try a correct how a mother described their dead child.

sophieblake · 12-01-2012 01:19PM

As a person whose sister was killed in a road traffic accident I find the ads very difficult to look at but very effective. The devastation and emotion is palpable and real live people telling stories of how road accidents have torn their lives apart must make people take stock of how they behave in the car. For me the emotional telling of the stories far outweigh any oddness in the scripts

Skid · 12-01-2012 01:21PM

In parts of the Country, parents use the term 'chaps' to refer to their children.

Dudess · 12-01-2012 01:23PM

Can't help noticing it myself, but not everyone is comfortable with wearing their heart on their sleeve in public, in terms of things they say. In fairness, tears are pouring down her face when she says it - and she describes how utterly broken she is and always will be. That says a lot more.

Cuddlesworth · 12-01-2012 01:24PM

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

Dudess · 12-01-2012 01:25PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

What if the car was speeding?

MrStuffins · 12-01-2012 01:25PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

Still living up to your username I see?

Micky Dolenz · 12-01-2012 01:27PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

Are you aware of more facts not stated in the ad?

Ever been drunk?

Feeona · 12-01-2012 01:28PM

I think the line 'that chap I was so fond of' is really heart breaking. She puts her loss so simply. I think we all have ideas in our head as to how we would react if we lost a loved one, it rarely plays out like one imagines.

Minstrel27 · 12-01-2012 01:28PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

that evil bastard

sbsquarepants · 12-01-2012 01:32PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

Bit harsh there cuddles, don't you think?

Cee-Jay-Cee · 12-01-2012 01:32PM

Skid wrote: »

In parts of the Country, parents use the term 'chaps' to refer to their children.

Thats fair enough, its not the word chap that bugs me, its the word 'fond'

I'm fond of ice cream and the odd packet of crisps. I love my daughter more than anyone could imagine.

Dudess · 12-01-2012 01:33PM

Feeona wrote: »

I think the line 'that chap I was so fond of' is really heart breaking. She puts her loss so simply. I think we all have ideas in our head as to how we would react if we lost a loved one, it rarely plays out like one imagines.

Yeah, saying "my son" is probably so hard - slightly distancing oneself might be a mechanism to cope with the horrific reality...

Jimmy Bottlehead · 12-01-2012 01:33PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

I agree, in fairness - it was absolutely his own fault to get drunk and stumble in front of the car.
People can beat around the bush all they want, but nobody forced him to drink that much, and nobody pushed him in front of the car.

People need to accept that their own decisions result in actions, which lead to consequences - dire ones, in this case.

I just feel sorry for the mother and the car driver.

Pretty_Pistol · 12-01-2012 01:33PM

Who is that ad suppose to be aimed at? People walking home drunk who may swerve/fall suddenly out onto the road or for drivers to look out for these people?

joseph brand · 12-01-2012 01:34PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

Anyone who has been 'knocked down' by a car deserves it? Their fault? Bad son? Suicide?

Worst post ever?

Oranage2 · 12-01-2012 01:34PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Are you aware of more facts not stated in the ad?

Ever been drunk?

Marjorie Flood from Castleknock, Dublin, whose son, Mark, 19, was killed after a night out in Dunshaughlin, Co Meath, in January 2008, is also featured in the campaign.

"He was out celebrating with his friends, He had had a few drinks, strayed out into the road and got hit by a car," she said.

"Until you are affected you don’t realise how many people are killed needlessly on the roads. I can’t make peace with this. This chap I was so fond of is no longer there and will never walk in the door again," she said.

http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/kfmhsnqlkfcw/rss2/

Not defending what cuddlesworth said since its not the nicest.

And as for what she said - Mayny people say thing like "your father" or "The young fella" when talking about people that have pasts - not sure why though it might be a way of trying to distant themselves emotionally.

Feeona · 12-01-2012 01:36PM

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

I agree, in fairness - it was absolutely his own fault to get drunk and stumble in front of the car.
People can beat around the bush all they want, but nobody forced him to drink that much, and nobody pushed him in front of the car.

People need to accept that their own decisions result in actions, which lead to consequences - dire ones, in this case.

I just feel sorry for the mother and the car driver.

He's dead.....I don't think he can accept or deny anything now.

The thread is about the use of 'that chap I was so fond of', not whether he deserved to die or not.

Jesus Christ.

Dudess · 12-01-2012 01:39PM

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

I agree, in fairness - it was absolutely his own fault to get drunk and stumble in front of the car.
People can beat around the bush all they want, but nobody forced him to drink that much, and nobody pushed him in front of the car.

People need to accept that their own decisions result in actions, which lead to consequences - dire ones, in this case.

I just feel sorry for the mother

Doesn't seem like it. If you did, you wouldn't be pointing out what he shouldn't have done, and just accept he's gone and can't come back, and respect his mother's grief. I'm sure you'll take grave offence, but that's how I see it.
Many of us do/did irresponsible things at 19 when fearless and convinced we're invincible - if it was his fault it doesn't make it easier for his mother.
As I already asked anyway, how do we know the car wasn't speeding?

Jimmy Bottlehead · 12-01-2012 01:40PM

Feeona wrote: »

He's dead.....I don't think he can accept or deny anything now.

The thread is about the use of 'that chap I was so fond of', not whether he deserved to die or not.

Jesus Christ.

I'm not saying he needs to accept or deny anything - that post is aimed at people saying "he was drunk" as if it's a valid excuse and he's not to be blamed.

Turn it around - instead of someone being drunk and getting hit by a car (killing himself, and ruining the lives of his family & the car driver), which people have sympathy for... what if someone was drunk, and beat the daylights out of another person. Is that excusable?

At what point is a drunken decision acceptable?

Also, I never, ever said he deserved to die. I said it was his own fault, which it was.

joseph brand · 12-01-2012 01:40PM

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

I agree, in fairness - it was absolutely his own fault to get drunk and stumble in front of the car.
People can beat around the bush all they want, but nobody forced him to drink that much, and nobody pushed him in front of the car.

People need to accept that their own decisions result in actions, which lead to consequences - dire ones, in this case.

I just feel sorry for the mother and the car driver.

What a horrible man. Getting drunk. Learned his lesson. You must have never been drunk, otherwise it would be stupid and hypocritical to make that statement. Some heartless people on boards today.

Oh btw, who the F**K cares if she said chap/ man/ guy etc. . First world problems eh?

ejmaztec · 12-01-2012 01:41PM

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

If he was stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car he might not have been the best son.

Also, I don't see the point of the ad. He killed himself.

I think the point of the ad is to make people think twice about being "stupid and irresponsible enough to get blind drunk and fall out in front of a car".

Cuddlesworth · 12-01-2012 01:45PM

Dudess wrote: »

What if the car was speeding?

What if? What if the car wasn't. He "strayed" out onto the road because he was drunk. He was a adult and had responsibility for his own safety.

MrStuffins wrote: »

Still living up to your username I see?

You can stuff me any day baby.

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Are you aware of more facts not stated in the ad?

Ever been drunk?

The facts are, he was drunk and fell/strayed out in front of a car. He made the choice to get that drunk and he could have avoided the incident.

I have been drunk. I try to moderate it, so I don't injure myself.

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Bit harsh there cuddles, don't you think?

Harsh but fair.

joseph brand wrote: »

Anyone who has been 'knocked down' by a car deserves it? Their fault? Bad son? Suicide?

Worst post ever?

He wasn't knocked down by a car. He put himself in front of one. Assisted suicide is a better description of the incident. If he was drunk enough to go out in front of a car, he was drunk enough to fall off a bridge or down a hole.

Feeona wrote: »

He's dead.....I don't think he can accept or deny anything now.

The thread is about the use of 'that chap I was so fond of', not whether he deserved to die or not.

Jesus Christ.

I'd be fond of a drunk I knew who threw away his life.

Jimmy Bottlehead · 12-01-2012 01:45PM

Dudess wrote: »

Doesn't seem like it. If you did, you wouldn't be pointing out what he shouldn't have done, and just accept he's gone and can't come back and respect his mother's grief. I'm sure you'll take grave offence, but that's how I see it.
Many of us do/did irresponsible things at 19 when fearless and convinced we're invincible - if it was his fault it doesn't make it easier for his mother.
As I already asked anyway, how do we know the car wasn't speeding?

Like I said, I'm pointing it out to the people who jump to defend a persons drunkeness in these situations. I've no time for "I only did it because I was drunk" excuses.

Yes many of us did stupid things in the past - myself included. But if they'd been different and had gone wrong, should they be considered anything but stupid? If I'd paralysed myself driving like a look, should I blame anyone OTHER than myself?
No.

Regardless of whether the car was speeding, his own mother stated he "strayed out into the road and got hit by a car" - if the driver was speeding, I'm sure it would have been referenced. And it doesn't take speeding to kill someone who has wandered out in front of your car.

Feeona · 12-01-2012 01:47PM

Jimmy Bottlehead wrote: »

I'm not saying he needs to accept or deny anything - that post is aimed at people saying "he was drunk" as if it's a valid excuse and he's not to be blamed.

Turn it around - instead of someone being drunk and getting hit by a car (killing himself, and ruining the lives of his family & the car driver), which people have sympathy for... what if someone was drunk, and beat the daylights out of another person. Is that excusable?

At what point is a drunken decision acceptable?

Also, I never, ever said he deserved to die. I said it was his own fault, which it was.

I don't think a drunken decision is acceptable. But that's not the point of this thread.

I f*king abhor this new fashion of saying 'Yeah he/she suffered, but what about....?'. Are we this inured to absolute devastation that we can take something, process it and dismiss it? I'm really just trying to figure this mindset out, because it's not something I could dismiss so easily. But then again, I've had the unfortunate advantage of losing people who were very close to me. Thank god I've never had to go through the horror of losing a child though, from what I've heard and observed, it's the single most horrendous thing you can go through.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 12-01-2012 01:48PM

joseph brand wrote: »

Oh btw, who the F**K cares if she said chap/ man/ guy etc. . First world problems eh?

Its a discussion forum, i didnt realise there were grades of problems/concerns which had to be met in order to start a thread on a topic.

I suggest you FRO and go somewhere else as your going to get very upset when you see some of the rest of the topics in this forum.

That Chap I was so fond of...

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