Funny, rude and old expressions/sayings

kupus · 10-01-2012 01:08PM

well doesnt that bate banagher

DaveNoCheese · 10-01-2012 01:09PM

"She wouldn't even get ploughed at the championship"

irishejit · 10-01-2012 01:09PM

"She's a box on her like a sailor mans beard after eating a bowl of stew"

To describe someone cross eyed - " One eye was going for the shopping, the other was coming back with the change"

Elba101 · 10-01-2012 01:09PM

chin_grin wrote: »

I still don't see it!

Nothing to see here, move along please.

When caught off guard "a face like a slapped arse" makes me laugh.

working fool · 10-01-2012 01:10PM

You'll never be half the man your mother was !

yupyup7up · 10-01-2012 01:10PM

I left her fanny looking like a bulldog chewing mayonnaise

Nyan Cat · 10-01-2012 01:13PM

S/he could chew an apple through a letterbox (buck teeth)

Welruc · 10-01-2012 01:14PM

she looked like her face was on fire and someone put it out with a shovel

ROFLcopter · 10-01-2012 01:14PM

"I'd rattle the box of her"

chin_grin · 10-01-2012 01:20PM

Elba101 wrote: »

Nothing to see here, move along please.

Honestly. How do you make a link between having a job and posting on boards about sayings? Colour me curious.

what a day · 10-01-2012 01:20PM

Im going to pot the brown. Plop!

Id give her one in the pink and two in the stink!!

He has a head like a well chewed toffee.

kfallon · 10-01-2012 01:23PM

Ellian wrote: »

A lad I used to work with once said he was "off to release a chocolate hostage."

Going to free Nelson Mandela :pac:

kfallon · 10-01-2012 01:25PM

About a 'hairy' one:

"She had a gee like a stab wound in a gorilla's back"

ROFLcopter · 10-01-2012 01:25PM

She has a box on her like a loose rasher counter in tesco.

Karona · 10-01-2012 02:01PM

"Ya have your ****e"
Said this to my housemate the other night and she had no idea what I was on about.

Al Capwned · 10-01-2012 02:04PM

"There's a wind out there that'd blow a kna**er off his sister!"

Feeona · 10-01-2012 02:07PM

The morning after a particularly ferocious night out 'He had an a*se like the Japanese flag'

Jim Royle lumbering out the door 'I'm off for an Eartha Kitt'

ejmaztec · 10-01-2012 02:10PM

Someone I used to work with was a regular for stinking the jacks out, and when we used to complain he'd say "something crawled up my arse and died".

what a day · 10-01-2012 02:14PM

That sticks out like a blind chippys thumb.

As sure as ****e sticks!!

As sure as my arse faces the ground.

One i havint heard in a while, a savage for a cabbage.

talullah · 10-01-2012 02:41PM

"ya'd lick the *rse of a low flyin duck"

DaveNoCheese · 10-01-2012 02:59PM

Any hole is a goal :pac:

W.Shakes-Beer · 10-01-2012 03:26PM

For anyone that has a crazy mouth of teeth.

"They could eat an apple through a letterbox"

EDIT: ^^^ already said

"Face like a well chewed toffee"

Run_to_da_hills · 10-01-2012 03:30PM

Working in the States there was an old guy from Oklahoma whose every second word was cotton picking, He had me in knots along with his southern drawl.