Funny, rude and old expressions/sayings

DaveNoCheese

So I did a bit of a search on this and all I could find was this.

Think we could do a lot better than that

One that comes to mind was a few years back, one of the lads hopped out of his seat and exclaimed "I must drop the kids to the pool", took me a minute to cop that one :pac:

Another random one I can think of is "You wouldn't drive a nail into the bog with a frying pan".

AnonoBoy

How queer!

Brendog

"shes a face like a bucket of smashed crabs"

dipper.meath16

Em in sports "Ya wouldnt hit a barn door with a shovel" referring to the goals!
"Havin a Tom Hank"

CiaranMcDCFC

She would suck c*ck off a conveyor belt!

chin_grin

"Oh, it's this thread again."

Chuck Stone

S/he was like a goat staring at lightning.

Duggy747

She'd suck a bowling ball through a Wavin pipe.

Elba101

chin_grin wrote: »

"Oh, it's this thread again."

Oh quit your whining your lucky to have a job!

DaveNoCheese

chin_grin wrote: »

"Oh, it's this thread again."

"You can blow it out your h0le" :P

ejmaztec

chin_grin wrote: »

"Oh, it's this thread again."

Yes, the first time the thread appeared, "cad" and "bounder" were very popular, and "unhand me you scoundrel".

I remember it as if it were yesterday.

Micky Dolenz

I'll bate the snot outta ya.

chin_grin

Elba101 wrote: »

Oh quit your whining your lucky to have a job!

Makes no sense.

DaveNoCheese wrote: »

"You can blow it out your h0le" :P

Thank you, I will. Although the word 'hole' doesn't need a zero in it seeing that it isn't a rude word.

ejmaztec wrote: »

Yes, the first time the thread appeared, "cad" and "bounder" were very popular, and "unhand me you scoundrel".

I remember it as if it were yesterday.

:pac:

DaveNoCheese

chin_grin wrote: »

Thank you, I will. Although the word 'hole' doesn't need a zero in it seeing that it isn't a rude word.

This is very true, had the mindset that it was been used a rude word, habit i guess :cool:

chin_grin

DaveNoCheese wrote: »

This is very true, had the mindset that it was been used a rude word, habit i guess :cool:

In all fairness it does make the word look different. Almost...............feel different. Like it shouldn't be exciting, but it is.

Elba101

chin_grin wrote: »

Makes no sense.

It's all relevant



Back on topic: The tide wouldn't take her out. Always makes me laugh :pac:

Ellian

DaveNoCheese wrote: »

One that comes to mind was a few years back, one of the lads hopped out of his seat and exclaimed "I must drop the kids to the pool".

A lad I used to work with once said he was "off to release a chocolate hostage."

Ellian

Elba101 wrote: »

It's all relevant



Back on topic: The tide wouldn't take her out. Always makes me laugh :pac:

Or the variation - a sniper wouldn't take her out.

working fool

She's quiet for a diesel

someone should take the hat off that one and s**t in it

my granny
randomly used to say this when no one was wearing a hat ( usually aimed at people she didnt like )

chin_grin

Elba101 wrote: »

It's all relevant

I still don't see it!

DaveNoCheese

Ellian wrote: »

A lad I used to work with once said he was "off to release a chocolate hostage."

Haha skitting myself here :pac::pac::pac:

what a day

She has a [EMAIL="Ph@nny"]Ph@nny[/EMAIL] like a stab wound on a gorilla.

" " " " " " " " " " Like a wizards sleeve.

Or my favourite one from Jim Royle Himself "im off to have a chat with the arabs.........mustafa crap"

yupyup7up

I'd smash her back door in

puddinboxxx

She has a fanny like a badly packed kebab

dipper.meath16

Lads, I woulnn't ride her inta battle! or was like ridin a sack of spuds!

castletownman

"She has a face on her like a bulldog that's after licking piss off of a nettle"- to describe a non too pleasant looking woman

"He's like a blind skunk that fell in love with a fart"- a description of a particularly clueless footballer

"Stop your messing chaps or I'll redden your arse"- a warning of impending disciplinary procedure should children continue their unruly ways.

All from the tongue of a colourful uncle of mine throughout the years

marcbrophy

Go rim a donkey! :pac:

Ormus

As wet as an otter's pocket.

what a day

How about........ " he was beatin like a red headed step child"

Ya couldn beat it with a big stick!!

DaveNoCheese

yupyup7up wrote: »

I'd smash her back door in

A mate of mine uses this almost on a daily basis

kupus

well doesnt that bate banagher

DaveNoCheese

"She wouldn't even get ploughed at the championship"

irishejit

"She's a box on her like a sailor mans beard after eating a bowl of stew"

To describe someone cross eyed - " One eye was going for the shopping, the other was coming back with the change"

Elba101

chin_grin wrote: »

I still don't see it!

Nothing to see here, move along please.


When caught off guard "a face like a slapped arse" makes me laugh.

working fool

You'll never be half the man your mother was !

yupyup7up

I left her fanny looking like a bulldog chewing mayonnaise

Nyan Cat

S/he could chew an apple through a letterbox (buck teeth)

Welruc

she looked like her face was on fire and someone put it out with a shovel

ROFLcopter

"I'd rattle the box of her"

chin_grin

Elba101 wrote: »

Nothing to see here, move along please.

Honestly. How do you make a link between having a job and posting on boards about sayings? Colour me curious.

what a day

Im going to pot the brown. Plop!

Id give her one in the pink and two in the stink!!

He has a head like a well chewed toffee.

kfallon

Ellian wrote: »

A lad I used to work with once said he was "off to release a chocolate hostage."

Going to free Nelson Mandela :pac:

kfallon

About a 'hairy' one:

"She had a gee like a stab wound in a gorilla's back"

ROFLcopter

She has a box on her like a loose rasher counter in tesco.

Karona

"Ya have your ****e"
Said this to my housemate the other night and she had no idea what I was on about.

Al Capwned

"There's a wind out there that'd blow a kna**er off his sister!"

Feeona

The morning after a particularly ferocious night out 'He had an a*se like the Japanese flag'

Jim Royle lumbering out the door 'I'm off for an Eartha Kitt'

ejmaztec

Someone I used to work with was a regular for stinking the jacks out, and when we used to complain he'd say "something crawled up my arse and died".

what a day

That sticks out like a blind chippys thumb.

As sure as ****e sticks!!

As sure as my arse faces the ground.

One i havint heard in a while, a savage for a cabbage.

talullah

"ya'd lick the *rse of a low flyin duck"