What do you do when jehovah witnesses call

gbee · 28-12-2011 02:38PM

I used to engage them in lengthy battles, I loved them calling around and my neighbours loved me for taking up all their time too. It used be like a little circus as neighbour would pass on the points and counter points and there would be tea an biscuits and even the odd glass of wine.

They don't call around anymore, I'm lonely now! NOT

johndoe99 · 28-12-2011 02:40PM

tell them your already a member of a cult, scientology.

oterra · 28-12-2011 02:44PM

A couple of years ago we were plagued by these guys. I had 3 of their bibles in my back catalogue. When they called again I simply played the role reversal tactic and sent them packing with a gift of one of their own Bibles. It was one of my finest doorstep battles:D

mattjack · 28-12-2011 02:45PM

johndoe99 wrote: »

tell them your already a member of a cult, scientology.

A stand off between Jehovahs witness's and the Scientology mob ? Now thats a turf war.

Agricola · 28-12-2011 02:47PM

Theres no point engaging with them in any way imo. Ive found that trying to convince them religion is a load of old cobblers doesnt work strangely enough!
If you give them any breathing space to air their views they take your politeness to mean weakness and they see you as a possible conversion.

Save the hassle, dún an doras.

Benny_Cake · 28-12-2011 02:51PM

I've never had any call. If they did, I'd be polite and probably ask them about 1914 and how the significance of that year to Jehovahs Witnesses has changed.

I'd take them over Sky, Airtricity or Concern any day though.

Owryan · 28-12-2011 02:51PM

maxfresh wrote: »

Abi wrote: »

I don't normally answer the door to the god squad, but I was stung by them about a month or so back. The lad saw me goin' up the drive way. He was nice enough I spose, so I took the crap he was giving me.. what is like watch tower or something like that? anywho, I just filed it in the green bin and that was that.

Whats annoying me more at the door at the moment is people selling crap. A sky rep came to the door and when I told him I already had the works he asked if he could use my toilet o_O

Thats dodgy ,the guy asking to use the toilet, he could be scoping out the place

Maybe he was hoping to put a multiroom box in there for ya.

curlzy · 28-12-2011 02:54PM

I used to be one so I know how useless it is to even try to get them to open their mind to the possibility that they're wasting their life worshipping something that doesn't exist. Anytime they call now I just smile and say my lord Satan wouldn't appreciate me studying the bible and then I close the door in their panic stricken faces.

Bubblefett · 28-12-2011 02:59PM

Never had them call around, I imagine they're like in black books

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBrMmJyVAGk

Stiffler2 · 28-12-2011 03:01PM

I usually get rid of these door [EMAIL="w@nkers"]w@nkers[/EMAIL] by saying I'm already part of whatever they're selling / have. Example -

Them :Jehovah witness calling to door to try to convert me.
Me : Sorry, I'm also a Jehovah's witness.

Sky calling to door :

Them : You looking for Sky
Me : I have Sky already mate ( no I don't )

same goes for every caller except Eircom Phonewatch

Them : You looking for Eircom Phonewatch to prevent robbery
Me : No Mate, Eircom Phonewatch is robbery !

and so on, you get the gist

CamperMan · 28-12-2011 03:03PM

I tell them I badly need a crap and shut the door in their face!

danniemcq · 28-12-2011 03:13PM

CamperMan wrote: »

I tell them I badly need a crap and shut the door in their face!

next time you should say that and then drop trousers and squat there in front of them

Vicxas · 28-12-2011 03:14PM

A Sky guy called to my door, told them I have sky. He asked me if i had the NEW SKY box, asked him if it was HD one, he said yeah. Told him I had it, but he just kept going and going and going.... persistent little buggers.

Eircom are whoores for this too. Ill never set foot in Eircom again.

choppermann · 28-12-2011 03:22PM

I normally answer the door to that lot with me kaks around me ankles and some bog roll in me hand, seems to really mess with their zen for some reason.

Achtung! Bono · 28-12-2011 03:40PM

I live in a very rough part of London these days. J W's Knock on my door and tell me to Fück Off.

pickarooney · 28-12-2011 04:06PM

Abi wrote: »

Oh I didn't let him in. He came back around a second time, and I'd told him he'd already been. a few weeks prior to that two of them were going around the area, and one of them asks if I have a hammer or something because the arse of his shoe was falling off. And no, I didn't give him a hammer! :eek:

I generally don't answer the door though.

These all sound like the plots to cheesy 80s porn films.

Johnny Foreigner · 28-12-2011 04:13PM

maxfresh wrote: »

Recently i had a jehovah witness guy call to my door ,i had quick chat an said i wasnt interested,

how do you guys deal with them

I tell them I am an Atheist.
I ask them if there was a God, why would he allow Priests to sexually abuse children?
Then I close the door.

Nothingbetter2d · 28-12-2011 04:14PM

Achtung! Bono wrote: »

I live in a very rough part of London these days. J W's Knock on my door and tell me to Fück Off.

to be fair you probably deserve it.

chughes · 28-12-2011 04:16PM

I have got into a discussion with them about blood transfusions.

It's great sport listening to their jesuitical answers to this issue.

charlemont · 28-12-2011 04:18PM

I don't buy into what they preach but I do recognise they are good people, Their heart is in the right place.

Nodster · 28-12-2011 04:31PM

Had two JW's call to my Cheateau in Balbriggan on Chrimbo Day no less, politely declined copies of The Watchtower and Awake

Tomk1 · 28-12-2011 04:55PM

I usually take up a few hours of their time, as it's rare I get a chance to debate religion real-time, rather than on the web. Sometimes if they are making moves to leave, I'll throw out a line to real them back in. I don't let them read from a book as they should allready know their stuff, & I don't have a reference book.

One encounter, I told them 'I really respected their dedication to their faith, giving up their free time for their faith, unlike part-time catholics' but the answer I got suprised me, one of them said almost resentfully 'we have to do it'. That pretty much was the end of the religion talk so we chatted about a few other normal things like the weather, growing veg etc.

Best advice is completly change the subject off religion, say ''you've a good day to be out and about'' a rant about something, the new house-tax, neighbours-cat, etc and never take thier pamphlets, tell them you'll feel guilty for the environment by chucking it in the fire/bin.
I would never be rude to them.

But lately I do kind of feel left out, that the JW's I've met, don't call back.

Nothingbetter2d · 28-12-2011 05:09PM

next time they come to my house im gonna answer the door with a meat cleaver and yell back with a redneck accent "hey Ma we got here some gud eatin' tonight!" then lick my lips.

Nothingbetter2d · 28-12-2011 05:11PM

Tomk1 wrote: »

I usually take up a few hours of their time, as it's rare I get a chance to debate religion real-time, rather than on the web. Sometimes if they are making moves to leave, I'll throw out a line to real them back in. I don't let them read from a book as they should allready know their stuff, & I don't have a reference book.

One encounter, I told them 'I really respected their dedication to their faith, giving up their free time for their faith, unlike part-time catholics' but the answer I got suprised me, one of them said almost resentfully 'we have to do it'. That pretty much was the end of the religion talk so we chatted about a few other normal things like the weather, growing veg etc.

Best advice is completly change the subject off religion, say ''you've a good day to be out and about'' a rant about something, the new house-tax, neighbours-cat, etc and never take thier pamphlets, tell them you'll feel guilty for the environment by chucking it in the fire/bin.
I would never be rude to them.

But lately I do kind of feel left out, that the JW's I've met, don't call back.

its cos you didnt put out on the first date ya frigid

Borat_Sagdiyev · 28-12-2011 06:44PM

My Grandfather passed away over 10 years ago. He was a bit moody and also had a sharp wit.

One of his sons, my father's brother, is a Born again Christian.

My Grandfather was sitting at home one day minding his own business when there was a knock on the door. They were Born again Christians trying to sell books to him.

He asked them what they were - after getting the reply, his answer was :

"I have a son in the same predicament."

Pretty Polly · 28-12-2011 07:02PM

A simple..sorry, not interested does the trick. I don't find that the Jehovah witnesses are pushy at all..unlike some groups i could mention :rolleyes:

gabsdot40 · 28-12-2011 08:02PM

I always tell them I'm a Mormon. (I actually am a Mormon) and I sympathise with them about how hard going door to door is (I was a Mormon missionary in my youth). Then I tell them I won't waste their time but they can come in for a cuppa if they want.
They never do and they seem to black list our house because no one will call then for a few years.

Mike 1972 · 28-12-2011 08:09PM

Oddly enough I know someone who lives across the street from a Kingdom hall and never gets bothered by them.

Do they have a "dont p*** off the neighbours" policy ?

Crann na Beatha · 28-12-2011 08:10PM

This post has been deleted.

Owen · 28-12-2011 08:13PM

Option 1 :
Masturbate.

Option 2 :
Ask them why you should join when they believe only 144000 people are going to heaven, and those 144000 have already been chosen?

What do you do when jehovah witnesses call

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