What do you do when jehovah witnesses call

maxfresh

Recently i had a jehovah witness guy call to my door ,i had quick chat an said i wasnt interested,

how do you guys deal with them

Captain Darling

They are humans before they are jehovah witnesses. I'd have a chat and politely tell them i was not interested in organised religion.

Doff my metaphorical hat and then close the door.

Dionysus

maxfresh wrote: »

Recently i had a jehovah witness guy call to my door ,i had quick chat an said i wasnt interested,

how do you guys deal with them

Tell him you agree with him. They hate that. Their energy and self-belief comes from rejection, as odd as that might sound.

Richard Hillman

Usually along the lines of "look man, it aint happening" and wish them well.

The Snipe

Normally goes something like this:
1. Arrive at door in a latex suit
2. Invite them, while striking your arse with a whip.
3. Ask them about the religion
4. Ask: "If I join will I be forgiven? Because I've been a very naughty boy!" while slowly starting to caress your hand up his leg.
5. Sit back and relax as you never get disturbed by them ever again

danniemcq

ask are they the ones that said the world was gonna end twice already

and how they got that so wrong

Abi

I don't normally answer the door to the god squad, but I was stung by them about a month or so back. The lad saw me goin' up the drive way. He was nice enough I spose, so I took the crap he was giving me.. what is like watch tower or something like that? anywho, I just filed it in the green bin and that was that.

Whats annoying me more at the door at the moment is people selling crap. A sky rep came to the door and when I told him I already had the works he asked if he could use my toilet o_O

Recon

I had a great chat with one of them a few years ago, even made him promise to call back with answers to some of the things I asked him, mainly things like "why is a god even necessary?" and "even if I did exist why does me deserve to be worshipped?".

He never did call back...

danniemcq

XiledSniper wrote: »

Normally goes something like this:
1. Arrive at door in a latex suit
2. Invite them, while striking your arse with a whip.
3. Ask them about the religion
4. Ask: "If I join will I be forgiven? Because I've been a very naughty boy!" while slowly starting to caress your hand up his leg.
5. Sit back and relax as you never get disturbed by them ever again

isn't that your usual reaction? even with the postman or trick or treaters?

maxfresh

Abi wrote: »

I don't normally answer the door to the god squad, but I was stung by them about a month or so back. The lad saw me goin' up the drive way. He was nice enough I spose, so I took the crap he was giving me.. what is like watch tower or something like that? anywho, I just filed it in the green bin and that was that.

Whats annoying me more at the door at the moment is people selling crap. A sky rep came to the door and when I told him I already had the works he asked if he could use my toilet o_O

Thats dodgy ,the guy asking to use the toilet, he could be scoping out the place

Captain Darling

My mother lives down a road in the back of beyond but they always call into her. She brings them in for tea and a chat. I suppose she feels sorry for them or something. They always come in and fuss over the dog (not God or jehovah or whatever they are pushing).

They seem like a nice bunch, mis-guided, but nice.

Nothingbetter2d

maxfresh wrote: »

Recently i had a jehovah witness guy call to my door ,i had quick chat an said i wasnt interested,

how do you guys deal with them

i tell them that religion is for those that are too weak minded to believe in their own individual faith rather than following someone else's half baked ideas.

they usually dont stick around.

Carter P Fly

My Ma's a Jehovas Witness.

Jw's have a weekly class where they learn about their door to door work Trust me, All the really funny and really origional things folk come up with theyve all heard before and are prepared for it.

Just say No thank you politly but firmly and close the door.

Whlie I dont subscribe to their religion they really are great devout people who believe in their work.

mattjack

Just as they walk up the driveway, I jump out the front upstairs bedroom window and run off screaming bout the bodies in the freezer.Never fails.

Captain Darling

Captain Darling wrote: »

They seem like a nice bunch, mis-guided, but nice.

A great bunch of lads even!

GKidd

I usually keep them. I have 11 now..

Biggins

maxfresh wrote: »

Recently i had a jehovah witness guy call to my door ,i had quick chat an said i wasnt interested,

how do you guys deal with them

Just tell them "Not interested" and close door.

2 stroke

I used be plagued by them, always at the same time each sathurday. Finally got rid of them by answering the door naked, complaining that they were interupting us practising our religion. When they asked what religion we were practising, I explained that in our holy book it said to go forth and multiply, but that they rang the doorbell everytime we had a chance. Never saw them again.

danniemcq

Abi wrote: »

I don't normally answer the door to the god squad, but I was stung by them about a month or so back. The lad saw me goin' up the drive way. He was nice enough I spose, so I took the crap he was giving me.. what is like watch tower or something like that? anywho, I just filed it in the green bin and that was that.

Whats annoying me more at the door at the moment is people selling crap. A sky rep came to the door and when I told him I already had the works he asked if he could use my toilet o_O

be careful with things like that, few houses have got robbed this way,

remember kids never allow ANYONE into your house unless you have asked them in or know the reason they are calling.

all to easy these days to do up a fake ID and grab a uniform or official looking clothing

Hobbes

Only thing I like is if I say I am not interested, they go away and don't bother me.

Compare that to an Eircom or Sky Cable shill and they just won't shut up. You say you are not interested and they ignore you, then when they do stop talking and you again say you are not interested, they say "Are you the house owner?" and then demand to speak to the house owner before they will p!ss off.

galwayrush

Dionysus wrote: »

Tell him you agree with him. They hate that. Their energy and self-belief comes from rejection, as odd as that might sound.

That works, once i made the mistake of confronting them, took ages to get away. Now i just agree with them and thank them for calling. Had them about 10 minutes ago, between agreeing and thanking them for calling, they were 2 mins max at my door,

Biggins

Hobbes wrote: »

...Compare that to an Eircom or Sky Cable shill and they just won't shut up. You say you are not interested and they ignore you, then when they do stop talking and you again say you are not interested, they say "Are you the house owner?" and then demand to speak to the house owner before they will p!ss off.

If they keep talking, as they do, I still continue to close the door.
They can talk all they want to a wood door if they want after that.

Haelium

I try to convert them to the Church of the Golden Throne and tell them about the God-Emperor of mankind.

Abi

maxfresh wrote: »

Thats dodgy ,the guy asking to use the toilet, he could be scoping out the place

danniemcq wrote: »

be careful with things like that, few houses have got robbed this way,

remember kids never allow ANYONE into your house unless you have asked them in or know the reason they are calling.

all to easy these days to do up a fake ID and grab a uniform or official looking clothing

Oh I didn't let him in. He came back around a second time, and I'd told him he'd already been. a few weeks prior to that two of them were going around the area, and one of them asks if I have a hammer or something because the arse of his shoe was falling off. And no, I didn't give him a hammer! :eek:


I generally don't answer the door though.

Scruffles

the jehovahs called around mine a few weeks ago-there were older women in old fashioned dresses with the pair of men.
was watching from the bedroom window as its on ground floor ,after the knock,they all saw the plaque on the wall-it is a residential home [and shoud be obvious to them from the layout,carpark and signs]....staff opened the door and the gaggle of religeon-folk said they were jehovahs and apologised for bothering us.
weirdly though,they all stood on the ramp up to the door arguing with each other.

its nice to know they were repelled,but also concerning that they dont think we were good enough for a copy of the watch tower to nosy through.

cosanostra

Ask them do they still believe the world is only a few thousand years old if they say yes i'll tell them to come back when they get sense

44leto

Just "not interested" or just a plain "no" and I shut the door.

Who I do hate is the aggressive sellers that use foot in the door tactics. Those get a non polite response.

rednik

Smile and close the door.

petes

Invite them in and try to convert them to jedi's!

DoesNotCompute

Usually I release the hounds.

44leto

What is that about. Why do the religious want to "convert" people. I would describe myself as a non-believer/atheist I have never had the tiniest inclination to "convert" people to my way of thinking.

gbee

I used to engage them in lengthy battles, I loved them calling around and my neighbours loved me for taking up all their time too. It used be like a little circus as neighbour would pass on the points and counter points and there would be tea an biscuits and even the odd glass of wine.

They don't call around anymore, I'm lonely now! NOT

johndoe99

tell them your already a member of a cult, scientology.

oterra

A couple of years ago we were plagued by these guys. I had 3 of their bibles in my back catalogue. When they called again I simply played the role reversal tactic and sent them packing with a gift of one of their own Bibles. It was one of my finest doorstep battles:D

mattjack

johndoe99 wrote: »

tell them your already a member of a cult, scientology.

A stand off between Jehovahs witness's and the Scientology mob ? Now thats a turf war.

Agricola

Theres no point engaging with them in any way imo. Ive found that trying to convince them religion is a load of old cobblers doesnt work strangely enough!
If you give them any breathing space to air their views they take your politeness to mean weakness and they see you as a possible conversion.

Save the hassle, dún an doras.

Benny_Cake

I've never had any call. If they did, I'd be polite and probably ask them about 1914 and how the significance of that year to Jehovahs Witnesses has changed.

I'd take them over Sky, Airtricity or Concern any day though.

Owryan

maxfresh wrote: »

Abi wrote: »

I don't normally answer the door to the god squad, but I was stung by them about a month or so back. The lad saw me goin' up the drive way. He was nice enough I spose, so I took the crap he was giving me.. what is like watch tower or something like that? anywho, I just filed it in the green bin and that was that.

Whats annoying me more at the door at the moment is people selling crap. A sky rep came to the door and when I told him I already had the works he asked if he could use my toilet o_O

Thats dodgy ,the guy asking to use the toilet, he could be scoping out the place

Maybe he was hoping to put a multiroom box in there for ya.

curlzy

I used to be one so I know how useless it is to even try to get them to open their mind to the possibility that they're wasting their life worshipping something that doesn't exist. Anytime they call now I just smile and say my lord Satan wouldn't appreciate me studying the bible and then I close the door in their panic stricken faces.

Bubblefett

Never had them call around, I imagine they're like in black books

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBrMmJyVAGk

Stiffler2

I usually get rid of these door [EMAIL="w@nkers"]w@nkers[/EMAIL] by saying I'm already part of whatever they're selling / have. Example -

Them :Jehovah witness calling to door to try to convert me.
Me : Sorry, I'm also a Jehovah's witness.

Sky calling to door :

Them : You looking for Sky
Me : I have Sky already mate ( no I don't )

same goes for every caller except Eircom Phonewatch

Them : You looking for Eircom Phonewatch to prevent robbery
Me : No Mate, Eircom Phonewatch is robbery !

and so on, you get the gist

CamperMan

I tell them I badly need a crap and shut the door in their face!

danniemcq

CamperMan wrote: »

I tell them I badly need a crap and shut the door in their face!

next time you should say that and then drop trousers and squat there in front of them

Vicxas

A Sky guy called to my door, told them I have sky. He asked me if i had the NEW SKY box, asked him if it was HD one, he said yeah. Told him I had it, but he just kept going and going and going.... persistent little buggers.

Eircom are whoores for this too. Ill never set foot in Eircom again.

choppermann

I normally answer the door to that lot with me kaks around me ankles and some bog roll in me hand, seems to really mess with their zen for some reason.

Achtung! Bono

I live in a very rough part of London these days. J W's Knock on my door and tell me to Fück Off.

pickarooney

Abi wrote: »

Oh I didn't let him in. He came back around a second time, and I'd told him he'd already been. a few weeks prior to that two of them were going around the area, and one of them asks if I have a hammer or something because the arse of his shoe was falling off. And no, I didn't give him a hammer! :eek:


I generally don't answer the door though.

These all sound like the plots to cheesy 80s porn films.

Johnny Foreigner

maxfresh wrote: »

Recently i had a jehovah witness guy call to my door ,i had quick chat an said i wasnt interested,

how do you guys deal with them

I tell them I am an Atheist.
I ask them if there was a God, why would he allow Priests to sexually abuse children?
Then I close the door.

Nothingbetter2d

Achtung! Bono wrote: »

I live in a very rough part of London these days. J W's Knock on my door and tell me to Fück Off.

to be fair you probably deserve it.

chughes

I have got into a discussion with them about blood transfusions.

It's great sport listening to their jesuitical answers to this issue.

charlemont

I don't buy into what they preach but I do recognise they are good people, Their heart is in the right place.