LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore · 22-12-2011 2:57pm

I think the best response is for the family/friends to be there but to encourage the person to talk to a professional. Yes it means the family has to shoulder the burden initially but they can practise some honesty too and say "I want to help you, I will always be here for you and help you regardless but I'm scared because I dont know how."

That sort of honesty can be refreshing sometimes when you have been living under layers of "pretense" yourself. :^/

I also wouldnt come off medication without talking to a professonal. My dad has been on Lexipro without any particular side effects but when he improved he became more himself, more happy and chatty, then he kept "improving" and he was the opposite of before, he was unstoppable happy and chatty and silly. We talked to the doc and had him talk to him as well and they dialed down the meds and he now seems like the dad I know and have always loved.

He needs those meds because there is something wrong with his chemistry, thats all. When he has them he is my dad. Its not fake, he's back, he's the real person. The other guy, the mopey depressed guy is fake.

DeV.

Deus Ex Machina · 22-12-2011 3:34pm

In my case the problem is supposedly bipolar depression, however I am very ambiguous about this diagnosis. I know I am the author of my own woes for the most part. As far back as I can remember I've always had extreme highs and lows, but I think this is more to do with my life circumstances than any inherent mental problem.

I have been using drugs since I was 15 or 16, which I won't use as blame but it has certainly been responsible for some highs as well as lows. I have been exposed to poverty and wealth. My parents have had a tumultuous relationship which has resulted in divorce and reconciliation followed with further anguish and separation. I have been in and out of academia and lived at home and abroad. I have never had a steady job and at the moment I am living alone surviving savings without employment. I continue to use alcohol and drugs constantly. I was drunk all morning (apologies if I'm making no sense).

Because of these highs and lows in circumstances I can go several days without sleep or substantial amounts of food, and then I go equal periods of time without getting out of bed and in the deepest chasms of melancholy. This went unnoticed for a long time due to other distractions. It was at my mothers request (after I experienced what she believed was a psychotic episode, it was not) that I went to several psychiatrists, all of whom were inclined towards a diagnosis of bipolar depression. I never followed this up and my mother hasn't either, so I'm happy to leave it at that.

Basically what I am saying is that diagnosis may not be a sure sign that you are suffering from any condition beyond bizarre life circumstances, and self diagnosis is even less useful. Before you can do anything to improve your situation you must acknowledge the problems which exist in your life and understand how they feed into your state of mind. You also must decide that change is worthwhile and valuable. This is more difficult because you have to buy into the notion wholesale, with almost religious fundamentalism, for it to change anything in your behaviour. I myself haven't reached this point. I still see change as basically pointless because as far as I can see "normal" life is as much a delusion as my current one. I'm also a lot better off than many others who have more profound difficulties than mine.

We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll change someday I see an error in my ways which has evaded me thus far.

I extend my sincerest sympathies to those who are depressed, whatever the cause.

cobear · 22-12-2011 3:48pm

Thank you so much for writing this post..a close family member experiences depression often and it's great that someone like you was able to break down the stigma and walls (unnecessarily) attached to depression

DeVore · 22-12-2011 3:54pm

DEM I agree with you and I'm very loath to put people into a "box" , be it one marked BiPolar or Depressed or anything. Its boiling down a hugely complex person into a single label, which even from an informational-compression point of view seem ludicrous.

People have said to me that I tend to take the "road less travelled" to which I reply "The road less travelled? Dude I'm 3 fields over, trying to walk up a tree". People shouldnt be afraid to be different, in may experience if there IS a "normal" its highly uncommon

BUT, (and its a *big* bootaay) if you are not "happy" you have the right and the power to change that. Forgive me but you dont sound like someone who is all that happy with the current state of play. I found I was "comfortably numb" and content to stay that way but inside I wasnt happy. Now I dont say that everyone has to be happy all the time, I hate that "americanisation" where feeling anything sad is considered "bad". Saddness is a valid emotion too, its often the human, healthy emotional response to something. Like you said, the highs and the lows.

My advice for everyone (and I dont want to sound like Papa Smurf here, I struggle just like everyone, I may just be a bit older

) is: consider your life and change or exclude that which stops you from being happy. That can be a toxic person (and I have cut a few of them out of my life I can tell you) or it can be an addiction or a compulsion or simply a rut you have gotten stuck in.

I think I'm pretty much agreeing with you that people should look into their lives and fix/remove anything which is contributing to the problem.

DeV.

cynder · 22-12-2011 4:18pm

I was never diagnosed with anything yet at 15 i tried to top myself (for a bunch of reasons and i had little regard for my life and would live life on the edge), during the assessment with the pyscologist i lied all the way through, her evaluation was that i was 'normal' whatever normal is.

Ive never taken drugs yet i have had highs and lows, my real turning point was when i had my first child, i had a reason to live, a reason to love life. Ive got myself though bad patches with out the need for medication, even though my own gp did give me tablets when my husband got cancer as i was on edge and very cranky. I took 3 days worth and the rest are still in the press 3 years later.

I always try and look on the bright side, thinking it could be worse and that gets me through the dark times. But recently ive been getting ulcers (3 in the last year and 2 in the last 3 months) and the gp recons its stress related. So maybe my bodys not coping as well as my head is.

Ah well xmas is just around the corner and i cant wait to see my kids faces when they open their presents.

Wattle · 22-12-2011 4:59pm

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

In my case the problem is supposedly bipolar depression, however I am very ambiguous about this diagnosis. I know I am the author of my own woes for the most part. As far back as I can remember I've always had extreme highs and lows, but I think this is more to do with my life circumstances than any inherent mental problem.

I have been using drugs since I was 15 or 16, which I won't use as blame but it has certainly been responsible for some highs as well as lows. I have been exposed to poverty and wealth. My parents have had a tumultuous relationship which has resulted in divorce and reconciliation followed with further anguish and separation. I have been in and out of academia and lived at home and abroad. I have never had a steady job and at the moment I am living alone surviving savings without employment. I continue to use alcohol and drugs constantly. I was drunk all morning (apologies if I'm making no sense).

Because of these highs and lows in circumstances I can go several days without sleep or substantial amounts of food, and then I go equal periods of time without getting out of bed and in the deepest chasms of melancholy. This went unnoticed for a long time due to other distractions. It was at my mothers request (after I experienced what she believed was a psychotic episode, it was not) that I went to several psychiatrists, all of whom were inclined towards a diagnosis of bipolar depression. I never followed this up and my mother hasn't either, so I'm happy to leave it at that.

Basically what I am saying is that diagnosis may not be a sure sign that you are suffering from any condition beyond bizarre life circumstances, and self diagnosis is even less useful. Before you can do anything to improve your situation you must acknowledge the problems which exist in your life and understand how they feed into your state of mind. You also must decide that change is worthwhile and valuable. This is more difficult because you have to buy into the notion wholesale, with almost religious fundamentalism, for it to change anything in your behaviour. I myself haven't reached this point. I still see change as basically pointless because as far as I can see "normal" life is as much a delusion as my current one. I'm also a lot better off than many others who have more profound difficulties than mine.

We'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll change someday I see an error in my ways which has evaded me thus far.

I extend my sincerest sympathies to those who are depressed, whatever the cause.

The thing is DEM it's impossible to make any progress if you are constantly in a fog of drugs and alcohol. The longer it goes on the worse you feel because you know in the back of your mind that you should be doing something about your problems. Your self esteem gets shot and you basically arrive at the conclusion that you are a hopeless case.

I don't really think that you have to 'fundamentalist' about change. That's a hole that people with emotional difficulties often fall into because they are perfectionists and think that they have to change everything about themselves all at once. Setting small goals and trying to achieve them is much more realistic and do-able. It gives you a sense that you're getting somewhere.

For instance you said you had a diagnosis of Bi-Polar and didn't follow it up? Are you on any medication to help you with Bi-Polar? Maybe it might help if you were? This could be a place to start.

To an extent you are right about 'normal life' being a delusion. It certainly is a challenge but if you are slowly moving forward you will be able to achieve some sort of sense of control over your life. The deeper you move into addiction the less choice you have because the addiction is totally out of control and needs to be fed and maintained.

Yes 'normal life' has it's difficulties. I was an alcoholic for a long time but quit before things got really dark. Life can be frustrating and there are days when I feel like saying **** it all what's the point but getting out from under your addiction feels wonderful and having a sense of being master of your own destiny is a powerful thing.

Good luck.

opinion guy · 22-12-2011 5:42pm

DeVore wrote: »

DEM I agree with you and I'm very loath to put people into a "box" , be it one marked BiPolar or Depressed or anything. Its boiling down a hugely complex person into a single label, which even from an informational-compression point of view seem ludicrous.

Just for general awareness there is also a thing called cyclothymia which is like a less severe form of bipolar disease:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002517/

People have said to me that I tend to take the "road less travelled" to which I reply "The road less travelled? Dude I'm 3 fields over, trying to walk up a tree". People shouldnt be afraid to be different, in may experience if there IS a "normal" its highly uncommon

lol....get out of my tree!!!!:mad::p

stupidusername · 22-12-2011 8:19pm

I just wanted to post on a good day so that you know I can have good days too

Today has been pretty good. When I say good, I mean significantly better than two days ago. While I don't feel happy, I have been having a laugh with friends. I feel a little lighter and a little brighter. maybe those adjectives don't mean much, but they're the best I can describe it as. It has been a good day in comparison to the past few weeks of almost constant struggling to do anything, and a lack of smiles.

My brain has been more active, and more interested. things have just been a bit easier.

My only problem with days like this is that it kinda makes my down days (like those of the past few weeks) harder to face. I know they'll be back, possibly tomorrow, maybe not for a few days. ****. I'm talking myself down now. better go try find something funny to read...

Saila · 22-12-2011 8:23pm

holy **** thats some record of thanks, nearly 1000!! :eek:

stupidusername · 22-12-2011 8:58pm

**** **** ****. I was meant to go to the psychs office this morning. I completely forgot :mad::( hate my memory being so bad

flutterflye · 22-12-2011 9:43pm

Saila wrote: »

holy **** thats some record of thanks, nearly 1000!! :eek:

It's exactly 1000 now! :eek:

triggermortis · 22-12-2011 9:52pm

1001 now.

Great post and a good read all through

foxinsox · 22-12-2011 11:10pm

I don't want to come across as stepping on Mods toes..

I've had Depression for more years than I care to remember as aul Mr Brennan says..

Please don't take much heed of how medication works or doesn't work with one person or if your read bad/horror stories online (anywhere online).

Remember people often just post about bad experiences, if the meds are working good, the people with Depression are out enjoying their lives.

I have been on several different brands of meds, like others I have had bad experiences on some and luckily now have one that works great.

Main reason for this post:

Remember anti-depressant meds can take up to 6 to 8 weeks to kick in and work to their best.

Every person is different, while one med is a nightmare for one person it might be the perfect med for someone else.

Hopefully you can find a doctor that really listens and understands you.

You will know yourself if the side-effects are completely out of whack and you should return to your doctor immediately for advice.

jaffacakesyum · 23-12-2011 12:39am

Never went to the GP in the end. Might in the New Year..

A thought crossed my mind though. To anyone who has been suffering for depression and getting help - does it ever go away? Can depression ever be cured? I know there are different levels of depression and different reasons for it, different treatments etc.

But for some people, can it go away completely? I know it doesn't happen overnight but after years of medication, counselling etc. ?

Lia_lia · 23-12-2011 12:58am

The worst thing I find about meds the going off them. Ever get them brain zaps? Eugh!

Also tend to put on weight on them, can't be dealing with that!

And the whole zombie personality thing.

Just, no.

Buceph · 23-12-2011 1:01am

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Never went to the GP in the end. Might in the New Year..

A thought crossed my mind though. To anyone who has been suffering for depression and getting help - does it ever go away? Can depression ever be cured? I know there are different levels of depression and different reasons for it, different treatments etc.

But for some people, can it go away completely? I know it doesn't happen overnight but after years of medication, counselling etc. ?

Absolutely it can go away, at least for most intents and purposes. For some they'll be able to adjust their lives in a way that it becomes merely a minor thing at the back of their head they have to watch out for. For other people they'll constantly struggle with it. It's just the luck of the draw. I think in either case you'll always have to be wary of it, watch out for signs your getting into a bad way and do something to counteract it if you feel it coming on. It will change you, it will force you to readjust to some things, but it absolutely can become fairly irrelevant to your day to day life.

I suffer from depression, but not in a way most people do as my depression is caused by and a symptom of another mental health problem I have. The main health problem I have being generally thought of as far more severe and debilitating than what most would have with depression (not to take anything away from depression.) And even in my case I've learned to deal with it a little at least. It will always be there for me, but with medication and a healthier attitude to life I live relatively normally.

I think you're a little confused in your own questioning though. With something like mental health, or as with pretty much any serious health issue it's never a case of it going away completely. There will always be an effect the disease has had on you. It absolutely can become fairly irrelevant to you leading a normal life though.

Lia_lia wrote: »

The worst thing I find about meds the going off them. Ever get them brain zaps? Eugh!

Yeah, they're pretty annoying. (Although I've never come off my meds, it's just been the odd night I'd forget to take them, or when I'd stay away from home and forget to bring them.) For me it's like the static electricity that you used get when you turned on old CRT TVs, the "fuzz" enveloping my brain, and little jolts going up and down my arm and face. They're annoying, but I don't particularly mind them. To me they just act as a reminder that I've missed a dose. Although I doubt I'll have to endure real withdrawal for a long time.

stupidusername · 23-12-2011 1:06am

foxinsox wrote: »

I don't want to come across as stepping on Mods toes..

I've had Depression for more years than I care to remember as aul Mr Brennan says..

Please don't take much heed of how medication works or doesn't work with one person or if your read bad/horror stories online (anywhere online).

Remember people often just post about bad experiences, if the meds are working good, the people with Depression are out enjoying their lives.

I have been on several different brands of meds, like others I have had bad experiences on some and luckily now have one that works great.

I don't think anybody talking about their experiences of meds came off like generalising. of course different people will have different experiences with different meds.

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Never went to the GP in the end. Might in the New Year..

awh, I thought of you just the other day, and was wondering had you gone.

Lia_lia wrote: »

The worst thing I find about meds the going off them. Ever get them brain zaps? Eugh!

Also tend to put on weight on them, can't be dealing with that!

And the whole zombie personality thing.

Just, no.

I was talking about brain zaps on the previous page, terrible things.

jaffacakesyum · 23-12-2011 1:35am

Something I've been thinking a lot about over the last while is, if/once I do get help, whether to go it alone or tell some friends/family.

I don't think my mother could handle having a second child diagnosed with depression, given her own mental health problems. I think it would be too much for her. And it isn't something I'd really be able to talk to my brothers or Dad about.

Which leaves me in a tricky situation. I don't think financially in the long term, I could afford the GP visits/counselling and antidepressants on my own.

stupidusername wrote: »

awh, I thought of you just the other day, and was wondering had you gone.

ah that's very nice of you!

Millicent · 23-12-2011 3:44am

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Never went to the GP in the end. Might in the New Year..

A thought crossed my mind though. To anyone who has been suffering for depression and getting help - does it ever go away? Can depression ever be cured? I know there are different levels of depression and different reasons for it, different treatments etc.

But for some people, can it go away completely? I know it doesn't happen overnight but after years of medication, counselling etc. ?

I think mine has (knock on wood). And I used to self-harm/was suicidal and suffered since childhood. Took me a long time but I think I've got there in the end.

pokertalk · 23-12-2011 3:47am

Millicent wrote: »

I think mine has (knock on wood). And I used to self-harm/was suicidal and suffered since childhood. Took me a long time but I think I've got there in the end.

congrats:D

Callipo · 23-12-2011 3:53am

Great thread.

We need a good system in place so that kids cans be checked at a young age to see if they suffer from depression. We check their eyesight but why not their general mental welfare?

Similar system work well in America.

nesf · 23-12-2011 10:18am

Article on a recent study on the brains of people who committed suicide: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=suicide-cells&WT.mc_id=SA_DD_20111222

Might be of interest to people into the science of this area.

Captain Graphite · 23-12-2011 10:29am

Millicent wrote: »

Ooh, Efexor -- I've yet to meet anyone who reacted well to that one. IIRC, that's the one that gave me the compulsive teeth grinding. Made my brother suicidal too. Sounds really nasty. I hope you get one that suits you soon.

o/

I've actually gotten on quite well with Effexor. Much more so than with Lexapro. I'm fortunate in that I've never had a bad reaction to either of them but the Lexapro just didn't seem to do much in the way of good either so taking it felt sort of pointless after a while.

I was doing well on Effexor, so well in fact that I made the mistake of not renewing my prescription when it ran out. I wasn't sure if I needed it any more or not but when I'd been off it a couple of weeks things started getting a lot worse. It'd be foolish to write that off as a mere coincidence so I went back to my GP and went back on it. I am on a lower dosage this time than I had been previously, so that's an encouraging sign I guess.

GP said she'd prescribe a lower dosage again if I do ok.

I guess my experience on and off meds (on = good, off = bad) ties in with the most awkward thing about depression in my opinion, which is just how quickly your whole outlook changes. This time last week I was MUCH less positive than I find myself this week. The week before that I was barely even able to get myself out of bed. Now that I'm having a pretty good week, I have this renewed enthusiasm all of a sudden. Yet one small little knock back and that could all go to shít again. It's almost impossible trying to predict how I'll feel next week based on how I feel this week because it can change without warning.

opinion guy · 23-12-2011 12:22pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

But for some people, can it go away completely? I know it doesn't happen overnight but after years of medication, counselling etc. ?

Absolutely. The plasticity of the human brain is astonishing.

I had it for years. After deciding to beat it it took me maybe 12-15 years to do it. I would say I don't even think in the same ways anymore, and I learned ALOT. It has given me completely different viewpoint on depression I feel also. It wasn't easy, but its definitely possible.

Wattle · 23-12-2011 3:43pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Never went to the GP in the end. Might in the New Year..

A thought crossed my mind though. To anyone who has been suffering for depression and getting help - does it ever go away? Can depression ever be cured? I know there are different levels of depression and different reasons for it, different treatments etc.

But for some people, can it go away completely? I know it doesn't happen overnight but after years of medication, counselling etc. ?

The difference for me now is that I don't get depressive episodes that cause my whole life to grind to a halt. I do get bad and grumpy days and my sleep can be affected. What keeps me well is a combo of medication, exercise, having a purpose, hobbies and regular attendance at Aware meetings. Support groups are very helpful. They break the chain of isolation.

Does it ever go away? No not completely but you can learn how to live with it and manage it.

cynder · 23-12-2011 4:01pm

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Never went to the GP in the end. Might in the New Year..

A thought crossed my mind though. To anyone who has been suffering for depression and getting help - does it ever go away? Can depression ever be cured? I know there are different levels of depression and different reasons for it, different treatments etc.

But for some people, can it go away completely? I know it doesn't happen overnight but after years of medication, counselling etc. ?

No idea, i take each day as it comes. What works for one will not work for another, everyone is different.

I know my first attempt at suicide was at age 8, I held a knife to my stomach and pressed as hard as I could, I barely cut myself before I stopped as it hurt like hell. Those thoughts never left me till the age of 19. I thought about it many times before I finally broke at 15. When I was in hospital my boss came to see me and made me promise I would never do it again, I am a vey honest, person so when I promised I stuck to it, no matter how bad I felt, however I would do stupid stuff hoping to get killed accidentally like walking out in front of cars, standing on a cliffs edge and so on, it wasn't till I had my baby that it clicked, that's what life was about, to make this little girls life he best it could possible be.

As I said before I do get down days, but my love for my family pulls me threw, I no longer feel I am a burden. I am the glue that keeps us altogether, I'm the one who has to keep everything together, when my husband had cancer, when my daughter was going into comas, when are son was thought to have possible autism, the list goes on.

I love what I have now....

stupidusername · 23-12-2011 5:15pm

stupidusername wrote: »

**** **** ****. I was meant to go to the psychs office this morning. I completely forgot :mad::( hate my memory being so bad

Almost completely forgot to do this today again! :mad: called down anyway, and no they're not open. Closed until January 3rd.

jammstarr · 23-12-2011 5:55pm

grindelwald wrote: »

I take each day as it comes.

That's all anyone should do really. I find myself sometimes overthinking things or worrying about the future - this only causes more aggravation in the present.

steddyeddy · 23-12-2011 6:56pm

Has anyone here ever felt depression was benificial to you? Now by this I dont mean enjoyable, pleasent or anything like it. I mean has your depression ever helped you realise a job, relationship or situation wasnt for you?

DeVore · 23-12-2011 11:23pm

No, not that I can recall.

Remember that over the Xmas there is a twitter account called @121Depression which is being manned by a group of supportive people. You can talk to them about anything, even if you just want a natter.

DeV.

LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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