So there aint alot of jobs out there. Why not get a BS one?

Scruffles · 27-11-2011 03:36PM

Robdude wrote: »

I think it's this line of thinking that got us into this mess in the first place.

give Mr stateofflux thinktank service a call,he might be able to help.

way ahead on the BS jobs,anyone need a biological hazard mitigation consultant to waffle on about the dangers of farting gas,or perhaps are more in need of a terminology management executive consultant-to make up the name of some BS job in the first place?
hire fee is one crateful of redbull per day,sorry no cheap alternatives.

JuliusCaesar · 27-11-2011 03:52PM

godspal wrote: »

This is not like the recessions of 70s & 80s; everything costs money. .

Ah yes, those glorious recessions in the 70s and 80s, when they were giving stuff away free, so it didn't matter that the dole wasn't enough to live on!
:cool:

sheesh · 27-11-2011 04:51PM

I am a seatologist I am also currently taking a course in monitor studies.

Robdude · 27-11-2011 05:06PM

tolosenc wrote: »

Nah, there's plenty of actual jobs out there. It's just from a young age, I was told to work hard at school and go to college so I wouldn't end up flipping burgers in McDonald's, and now that I'm finished college and can't get a job, the people who told me to study are now perplexed that I won't apply to be a burger flipper, because I've "got notions from somewhere"!

As an educated adult I think you should be able to acknowledge that

1.) 'Stuff people said' is not a contract. It's not even guaranteed to be true. My parents told me I was the most handsomest boy in the World....and yet, I can't find a job as a model.

2.) Where you 'end up' is different than where you 'start out'. Going to college means you probably won't be flipping burgers when you are 40, not that you'll be a CEO with a corner office when you are 25.

Nolanger · 27-11-2011 05:21PM

LighterGuy wrote: »

So After Hours what are you going to become? :P

Pet psychic - first question, what's the dog's name?

Dudess · 27-11-2011 05:46PM

justryan wrote: »

LighterGuy wrote: »

Was reading the 'bulls[SIZE="2"]h[/SIZE]it careers' thread and got thinking ... is there really anything stopping anyone from just creating a bulls[SIZE="2"]h[/SIZE]it job for themselves? :pac: .. that tomorrow you can call yourself anything of the below. Advertising your services.

Life Coach.
You can read the wikipedia link above if you want. But basically its someone telling you how to "reach your goals" (:pac:) or how to handle your life between business, personal and love life. A quick google search finds out many places here in Ireland are actually charging you a €1000 euro for a short course to be one! :pac: .. is it really something you need to pay a grand for to be one €150 euro can buy you a nice looking suit, briefcase and books on the subject. You'll look and speak the part.

Food Critic
Apart from the head-scratching aspect of the job. Whats to stop you creating a bull**** website with so called reviews you made of restaurants. While trying to land a paying gig with a newspaper. Basic writing skills are the only requirement.

Psychic Readings
Buy Tarrot cards, a crystal ball and read a few psychology books and you are set. Charge people 50 euro (or more) for a reading.

Wedding Planner
Title says it all. People have been planning the weddings they wanted for decades (lets be honest, even in the 1300's some couple planned what they wanted) so what is really required to be one? ... an interest in weddings?!?! :pac:

Interview Skills Specialist
This makes me laugh. So someone will tell YOU what you should do in an interview. In what way to type your cv up, what to say etc. Brilliant con. Whats the experience needed? None. But why not lie and say your worked in recruitment for years? :pac:

So After Hours what are you going to become? :P
LighterGuy will be a trained and qualified Life Coach in a month (i aint actually joking... neck like a jockeys bollocks :P )

I would add Social Media Expert another bs career for people who know how to use Facebook, Twitter etc..

Social media is of huge consequence to businesses now though.

saa · 27-11-2011 05:55PM

LighterGuy wrote: »

Interview Skills Specialist
This makes me laugh. So someone will tell YOU what you should do in an interview. In what way to type your cv up, what to say etc. Brilliant con. Whats the experience needed? None. But why not lie and say your worked in recruitment for years? :pac:

Dang you know I will buy into this con, I am crapola at interviews will have to pay someone to do my cv.. I go all Kristen Stewart in interviews fer real.

Logical Fallacy · 27-11-2011 05:59PM

Nailz wrote: »

This. "Live" nightclub DJ's get stupid pay for around 3 hours work, and it's piss easy. I am studying with a chap who is a qualified bouncer (among about 10 other free lance things) and although he doesn't belong to an agency, nor does he do it full time as he's studying at Uni, he does work for one of his friends' security groups at the door of a Galway nightclub some weekends. In which he seen how much money those lads get paid, I believe it was around €120 or something like that for this one lad — all for a nights' work.

And part of the reason they are paid so much is for "buying the tracks". Does he fuck buy them...

120eu for 3 hours is nothing tbh.

LighterGuy · 27-11-2011 06:20PM

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

120eu for 3 hours is nothing tbh.

as in ... 120 euro isnt a lot of money to make for only 3 hours work? :eek:

starlit · 27-11-2011 08:27PM

There ain't many jobs out there but its hard enough to get the BS ones!

Reamer Fanny · 27-11-2011 08:32PM

Dudess wrote: »

justryan wrote: »

LighterGuy wrote: »

Was reading the 'bulls[SIZE="2"]h[/SIZE]it careers' thread and got thinking ... is there really anything stopping anyone from just creating a bulls[SIZE="2"]h[/SIZE]it job for themselves? :pac: .. that tomorrow you can call yourself anything of the below. Advertising your services.

Life Coach.
You can read the wikipedia link above if you want. But basically its someone telling you how to "reach your goals" (:pac:) or how to handle your life between business, personal and love life. A quick google search finds out many places here in Ireland are actually charging you a €1000 euro for a short course to be one! :pac: .. is it really something you need to pay a grand for to be one €150 euro can buy you a nice looking suit, briefcase and books on the subject. You'll look and speak the part.

Food Critic
Apart from the head-scratching aspect of the job. Whats to stop you creating a bull**** website with so called reviews you made of restaurants. While trying to land a paying gig with a newspaper. Basic writing skills are the only requirement.

Psychic Readings
Buy Tarrot cards, a crystal ball and read a few psychology books and you are set. Charge people 50 euro (or more) for a reading.

Wedding Planner
Title says it all. People have been planning the weddings they wanted for decades (lets be honest, even in the 1300's some couple planned what they wanted) so what is really required to be one? ... an interest in weddings?!?! :pac:

Interview Skills Specialist
This makes me laugh. So someone will tell YOU what you should do in an interview. In what way to type your cv up, what to say etc. Brilliant con. Whats the experience needed? None. But why not lie and say your worked in recruitment for years? :pac:

So After Hours what are you going to become? :P
LighterGuy will be a trained and qualified Life Coach in a month (i aint actually joking... neck like a jockeys bollocks :P )

I would add Social Media Expert another bs career for people who know how to use Facebook, Twitter etc..

Social media is of huge consequence to businesses now though.

Agreed social media is a valuable FREE
Marketing tool for business, but you don't need a degree to set up a Facbook page

Logical Fallacy · 27-11-2011 09:29PM

LighterGuy wrote: »

as in ... 120 euro isnt a lot of money to make for only 3 hours work? :eek:

It's kind of bog standard pay for a boring weekend club. Nothing special about it. I could give you some numbers that would properly upset you.:D

psychward · 27-11-2011 09:42PM

I know someone who claimed to have been earning a grand or 2 a night as a part time DJ while an apprentice and then a tradesman as his main occupation however he seems to have been living at home with his mom all this time and his car ain't so flash frankly it's a banger. From that and very similar cases I think theres a lot of people who for some reason I can't understand are bigging themselves up. I'd say looking at the greed of publicans and nightclub owners and the way they treated the customer with regard to rip off prices should indicate that if they can get away with minimum wages then they will.

Logical Fallacy · 27-11-2011 09:51PM

psychward wrote: »

I know someone who claimed to have been earning a grand or 2 a night as a part time DJ while an apprentice and then a tradesman as his main occupation however he seems to have been living at home with his mom all this time and his car ain't so flash frankly it's a banger. From that and very similar cases I think theres a lot of people who for some reason I can't understand are bigging themselves up. I'd say looking at the greed of publicans and nightclub owners and the way they treated the customer with regard to rip off prices should indicate that if they can get away with minimum wages then they will.

Your average club DJ for a highstreet club is generally getting paid very little...or as little as the club can possibly pay. The simple fact is that they are there to play pretty obvious tunes and can be replaced pretty easily.

I know chaps that are quality DJ's and Producers and depending on the location of the club they could be getting anywhere from 1K to a few guys i have heard of getting 3K plus. And that is with serious name recognition behind them in their music scene.

So i reckon your mate was full of crap.

LighterGuy · 27-11-2011 10:19PM

Domo230 wrote: »

I'd say life coach is a good career but only for those rare few people who have every aspect of their life running smoothly.

I would happily pay money to get life coaching from a millionaire Olympian who dates multiple supermodels while studying for his PHD.

Only the happiest, most successful people should become life coaches. Most just seem to be housewives who have nothing better to do than tell other people what to do.

Exactly man.
That's why i firmly believe its one of the biggest joke jobs. Its who is telling you how to be successful.

if I was a life coach you'd get some lies outta me :pac:
"Well I left school at 14 working 2 jobs to support my family. At 18 i studied part time to get my junior and leaving. It was hard but I over came everything. Then I went to college while working 85 hours a week (:pac:) I later trained and entered the Olympics .. I was also a russian commando at weekends. And I was the influence behind the formation of U2. Even tho they formed years before my birth. Why delay call today."

LighterGuy · 27-11-2011 10:20PM

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

It's kind of bog standard pay for a boring weekend club. Nothing special about it. I could give you some numbers that would properly upset you.:D

:pac: ,
I still wouldnt turn down 120 for 3 hours work. (cause mister tax man wont know about it :pac: )

Robdude · 27-11-2011 11:44PM

If you guys think DJs have it so easy - why don't you become one?

Reamer Fanny · 28-11-2011 03:02AM

Robdude wrote: »

If you guys think DJs have it so easy - why don't you become one?

Don't most DJs use an ITunes playlist?

Robdude · 28-11-2011 03:48AM

justryan wrote: »

Don't most DJs use an ITunes playlist?

I don't know anything about being a club DJ - but I do know the DJ's music selection was the biggest reason my friends and I would go to one club over another; back when I was in college. Granted, *I* didn't care; but the girls did, and we went wherever the girls wanted.

There are a ton of professions that appear to be easy at a superficial level.

Coaches just tell players how to play!
Critics just say what they think about something!
Artists just splash paint around and call it art!
Design consultants just tell you what looks good!
Actors just stand around and read lines!
DJs just play a bunch of songs they like!
Photographers just take pictures of crap!
Cooks just follow recipes!
etc...etc...

But there is a huge difference between me making a youTube video of myself and Brad Pitt or someone staring in a movie. The biggest difference is the number of people willing to watch Brad Pitt do his thing, than those willing to watch me.

Sure - you can say that these are all subjective things and you'd be right. But what isn't subjective is the number of people willing to pay to see the result. We can argue all day over which 'playlist' is better or which 'painting' is the prettiest - but objectively, we can measure the number of people who like playlist one verse playlist two, the number of people who buy painting a instead of painting two.

A good DJ has a huge impact on a club. And in time, clubs build a reputation for having the best DJs and DJs build their own reputation to. I firmly believe there are aspects of being a DJ that, even if superficial and subjective, make a huge difference to people who care about music and who frequent clubs. Even if it is as simple as making a playlist, I promise you, a lot of people would hate my playlists.

If I am wrong, and being a DJ is mindless and easy....

1.) Why do clubs have them? Any MP3 player with a shuffle feature can replace them.
2.) Why not become a DJ? If the pay is good and it takes virtually no effort, you aren't risking anything by becoming one.

I'm not saying that as a 'call out' or with any disrespect. It could be that you naturally are good at selecting music and think DJing is easy, because you would be great at it. Or maybe it would be a lot more competitive than you think.

psychward · 28-11-2011 04:16AM

A playlist is easily copied from a club in LA to one in Dublin . However acting skill like in the Brad Pitt example given above can't be magically transferred and is locked inside the persona of Brad Pitt. Some resources are not scarce or exclusive to an individual and some are.
As far as I have observed, a DJ should be good at mixing tracks together and fading them out again otherwise paying him to choose a playlist is nonsense as most clubs full of drunken suckers paying for overpriced beer would be quite happy with a playlist of whatever is in the charts that year or season with a few eternally popular tracks thrown in for good measure.

Oranage2 · 28-11-2011 04:19AM

How exactly does one get clients to his life coaching service?

Also I thought life coach became surplus to requirment when MTV stopped making the show 'Made'

psychward · 28-11-2011 04:23AM

Oranage2 wrote: »

How exactly does one get clients to his life coaching service?

I can give you ''how to become a life coach'' coaching for 500 snots an hour

LighterGuy · 28-11-2011 04:29AM

I personally wouldnt call a DJ a BS job. But of course, in what levels are we talking about here?

Take a club dj. You use their own equipment. So you think that's handy. But in reality in order to land a paying club job. You would of had to of had your own equipment gaining experience for a good while. So its not like you walk into that job and said equipment dont come cheap. So thats a financial aspect to it.

But many a club dj says the skillful aspect is knowing what songs to play and when. As what can happen is you can play any recent chart songs and people are just not dancing to it. You are failing in what you are being paid to do. So thats why DJ's go on about skill. I understand that.

but .... how much of a skill are we talking about?
- the ability to realize the type of person who comes to club and play music suiting them.
- The cop on and savvy to realise what you are playing isnt going down well and the ability to change things up.
- the ability of pacing. you cant play 20 recent number 1's in a row.

So there aint alot of jobs out there. Why not get a BS one?

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