Lunatic Ex Partners

Doc Ruby · 25-11-2011 12:12AM

harmoniums wrote: »

and then get this rammed a used tampon she'd just removed into my mouth.

weeeeeeew

Kiera · 25-11-2011 12:15AM

harmoniums wrote: »

Heres the trick fellas when it comes to the suicide threats, call their mothers and explain your concern, it shuts them right up, you won't get that empty threat again.

I had to do that. The wanker took an overdoes on my birthday, rang me to tell me. I hung up and rang his Mam and told her to deal with her son as he was no longer my problem.

Frank Black · 25-11-2011 12:22AM

Kiera wrote: »

I had to do that. The wanker took an overdoes on my birthday, rang me to tell me. I hung up and rang his Mam and told her to deal with her son as he was no longer my problem.

Hang on. He overdid the **** on your birthday, and you told his Mam?

Jesus, that's cold.

Gummy Panda · 25-11-2011 12:41AM

black francis wrote: »

Hang on. He overdid the **** on your birthday, and you told his Mam?

Jesus, that's cold.

He could've gone blind.

No crazy ex stories. One suffered from depression and mood swings e.g. I love you / I don't love you. Even though it was a shítty time for me, it wasn't fully her fault. Her family were kinda cúnts

Wibbs · 25-11-2011 12:41AM

I had an ex ring me from her hen night looking for a hookup. She rang me four months after the wedding too. I didn't for the record. Not out of any moral fibre on my part BTW. Let's just say she went severely off the boil since we went out(briefly).

Had another ex who strung me along while she eased into a new relationship that I had no clue about at the time. I did find out and actually rang the chap in question. Turned out he was sound and we met up for a few bevs. Cue her shítting a brick when we both showed up to an event she was expecting him at. Ohh the excuses were worth their weight. Major social embarrassment for the win.

Had another wan who was the very definition of paranoid. If I even looked or god forbid talked to any woman I'd get static. She was very pretty so you do take that into consideration, but let's face it even "pretty" gets old after a while.

They're the tip of the iceberg TBH. I've even wackier ones, but details may identify those nutters too easily because of the novel nuttiness involved so I shall refrain...

earpiece · 25-11-2011 12:57AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

There was this one time at band camp.... I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

flutterflye · 25-11-2011 01:04AM

One guy threatened to set my house on fire at night while me and my family were sleeping, also he was apparently going to kill my cats and shove my dead cats up my.... area.

He would ring/text one minute with angry texts, then the next he'd send apologetic begging messages.
Went on for ages.

We were only going out for a few months!

Immaculate Pasta · 25-11-2011 01:12AM

starbelgrade wrote: »

Oh shut up & don't be such a tart.

I had a housemate who dated this Muslim girl for a few weeks. My housemate found her boring and wanted to break up. Anyway she took it really badly saying that she was going to say he took advantage of her and get her brothers round :eek:. She already was seeing him in secret because her parents didn't want her dating any non Muslims. Exciting few days that was :cool:

Shane-KornSpace · 25-11-2011 01:15AM

not me but a mate of mine:
she cheated on him.
he pissed on her clothes.
she told him she had a miscarriage. she lied. she was never preggers.
he took a dump on her clothes.

they broke up.

she slept with a random guy.
he ran at her to hit her but went on his back on a wet floor. He took his anger out on a fruit bowl.

she gets with a guy that looks and dresses the same as my mate. 3 months later they marry. she tells her hubby shes had a miscarriage. she cheats on her hubby. they split up.

ladysarastro · 25-11-2011 01:28AM

A lad I used to know went out with a complete and utter pyscho! He went out one night without her permission. In revenge she sat in his car and drained the battery and pissed in the drivers seat. Classy bird :rolleyes:

Juwwi · 25-11-2011 01:31AM

Shane-KornSpace wrote: »

not me but a mate of mine:
she cheated on him.
he pissed on her clothes.
she told him she had a miscarriage. she lied. she was never preggers.
he took a dump on her clothes.

they broke up.

she slept with a random guy.
he ran at her to hit her but went on his back on a wet floor. He took his anger out on a fruit bowl.

she gets with a guy that looks and dresses the same as my mate. 3 months later they marry. she tells her hubby shes had a miscarriage. she cheats on her hubby. they split up.

Im trying to figure out who was the crazy one

stovelid · 25-11-2011 01:56AM

Had an affair with a married woman in Belfast years ago and ended it myself because of guilt - as in I was single but felt bad about doing that to her husband. Found a few years later that her husband, brother and extended family knew about it and I was being lined up for a very, very serious "talking to" that was thankfully averted due to my crisis of conscience.

SheFiend · 25-11-2011 03:16AM

filthymcnasty wrote: »

thats only a little bit funny but i laughed anyway ---

I laughed loads when I read the reply! I'm still kind of laughing. The silent, chest chugging kind.

Sigh.

LighterGuy · 25-11-2011 03:20AM

stovelid wrote: »

Had an affair with a married woman in Belfast years ago and ended it myself because of guilt - as in I was single but felt bad about doing that to her husband. Found a few years later that her husband, brother and extended family knew about it and I was being lined up for a very, very serious "talking to" that was thankfully averted due to my crisis of conscience.

Just as well you ended it so.
IMO sleeping with a woman while fully aware she has a boyfriend or worse still, a husband, justifies a beating. Despite the BS some people spout about "you should only fight in self-defense" crap we get on here ( :rolleyes: )

So in your case you definitely were best shot of her and the whole situation.

charlemont · 25-11-2011 03:31AM

Put a hole in my tyre.

Attempted to throw paint at the car.

She lived in the same house as me so she got into my flat by an open window twice in the night when I was in bed, The first time I woke and she was in my bed so that was good but the second time it was just to give me a pile of abuse.

She also broke both my kitchen windows once on a Sunday and then the second one two weeks later on a Saturday night in which she also brought down her bathroom bin and emptied it in my window.

She went crazy one night because I laughed at her as she didn't want to go to the night counter at the garage, Long story, So driving down by Capwell she actually attacked me as I was driving the car, We could have easily crashed.

She is some character, Still friends with her today, Very sexy too but she will never be tamed !!!

barleybooley · 25-11-2011 03:32AM

This thread makes me feel so less psychotic, I really need to up my game!

HazDanz · 25-11-2011 03:51AM

Girl I was with a while back used to blame me for her self harm. Tried to use it against me. Told her I was done with her after one particular night and got very threatening phone calls from her sister after.

sarahbro · 25-11-2011 04:25AM

Went out with a guy a few years ago for a few months. He cheated on me. We broke up. Case closed.

Couple of years ago he got back in touch. Was now living in my town, settled with a new girl, so sorry for how he treated me etc etc and could we be friends. I gave it a shot, realised he was still a twat and cut contact.

Then I hear he's making up all these lies about me and posting **** all over Bebo (it was a while ago!). Him and some girl I had never Met had this big long conversation on MySpace about how they knew where I lived and they were gonna beat me up on my way home from work!

****ing Psycho does not cut it!

sarahbro · 25-11-2011 04:28AM

Oh and then there was a guy who told me I had to pick between him and my family - after a few weeks of being together!!

And a guy who used to let go of the steering wheel while driving and head bang to whatever music was on the radio!

Jesus Shaves · 25-11-2011 04:49AM

sarahbro wrote: »

And a guy who used to let go of the steering wheel while driving and head bang to whatever music was on the radio!

Nothing wrong with that:p

stovelid · 25-11-2011 10:08AM

LighterGuy wrote: »

IMO sleeping with a woman while fully aware she has a boyfriend or worse still, a husband, justifies a beating.

No shit, Sherlock.

Sunnyisland · 25-11-2011 10:13AM

LighterGuy wrote: »

Just as well you ended it so.
IMO sleeping with a woman while fully aware she has a boyfriend or worse still, a husband, justifies a beating. Despite the BS some people spout about "you should only fight in self-defense" crap we get on here ( :rolleyes: )

So in your case you definitely were best shot of her and the whole situation.

Shot being the important word there.:)

Andy-Pandy · 25-11-2011 11:00AM

Ive had crazy ex's and if im honest, i've been the crazy ex. Heartbreak does strange things to a person.

bijapos · 25-11-2011 11:02AM

LighterGuy wrote: »

Just as well you ended it so.
IMO sleeping with a woman while fully aware she has a boyfriend or worse still, a husband, justifies a beating. Despite the BS some people spout about "you should only fight in self-defense" crap we get on here ( :rolleyes: )

So in your case you definitely were best shot of her and the whole situation.

Does it fcuk! If so then by your logic the woman deserves a beating too :rolleyes:, it tales two to tango.

I've slept with a few married women, one who was in a loveless relationship, one who was fed up of their husbands cheating on them and tried to get back and one (who I was with for 8 months) whose marraige had totally broken down but who were staying together for a few years for the sake of the kids. What if a woman is in an abusive relationship, she sleeps with a guy, so does that mean that the partner then has some right to beat the crap out of you and more than likely her?

No two cases are the same, and if the woman is prepared for whatever reason to cheat on her partner then why the fcuk should I accept a beating for that.

OldGoat · 25-11-2011 11:30AM

I've found, through a series of partnerships, that it is infinatly better to be the psychotic one in the relationship.

25-11-2011 11:32AM

i had one ringing me up at night to hurl abuse down the phone at me when he found out i was seeing someone new, well after we'd broken up
got a few more of those because he suffered some sort of paranoia
threatened to humiliate me etc etc :rolleyes:

considering he was the one who'd cheated on me, i just don't know :rolleyes:

moco · 25-11-2011 12:54PM

I was seeing this Portuguese guy for about 2 weeks in total. I had a full time job and worked in a pub some evenings too. From the first night I went out with him, if I wasn’t working in the pub that evening, I’d arrive home from work to him sitting outside my house, unarranged. Then he’d sit in my house all night not taking the hint to go home. After 2 weeks of this I was well and truly sick of it, so I pretended I was working in the pub one night when I wasn’t, so he wouldn’t turn up at my house.

I came home from work, had something to eat, had a bath, then something I heard on the telly got my attention so I went in to the living room watch it, standing there in my towel. Looked up and there he was staring in my window. He then ran across the garden and away. He lived at the opposite end of London so it’s not like he just happened to be passing!

Later that night I start getting these phone calls from a guy with a Portuguese accent, I presume to be his friend, telling me how it was his birthday and him and his friends were on the way to my house to get ‘his present’.

I was actually really scared as this nutter was outside my house earlier and I was living on my own.

This other one I was with for a couple of months used to make up lies to get me to meet him..like his best friend at home had just been killed in a car accident and he really needed to see me cos he was so upset. I met him in a pub anyway, then a few hours later his other best friend walked in and when I mentioned about your man dying he didn’t know what I was talking about. I finished with him after him telling me another load of lies but we still kept in touch through the odd e mail.

Several years later he asked me to meet him for a birthday drink. I agreed, even though I wasn’t 100% comfortable about it..but when I walked in to his party (I thought it was just the two of us for a couple of drinks) his relatives were all over saying they were delighted we got back together a few months ago, that he’d never stopped talking about me in the years we were apart. I’d never met any of these people before either. I have several more mentallers but this reply is getting too long.

shannon_tek · 25-11-2011 12:58PM

let me see.......

Sleepy · 25-11-2011 01:06PM

Wibbs wrote: »

Had another ex who strung me along while she eased into a new relationship that I had no clue about at the time. I did find out and actually rang the chap in question. Turned out he was sound and we met up for a few bevs. Cue her shítting a brick when we both showed up to an event she was expecting him at. Ohh the excuses were worth their weight. Major social embarrassment for the win.

Now that, kids, is grace under fire.

sensibleken · 25-11-2011 01:07PM

I had this partner once. A real crazy lunatic, never played by the rules but always got his man.

Then 6 months ago he was gunned down by some low life punk on a drug burst. I swore that day I'd hunt down every drug dealin' scum in this god forsaken city to avenge his death!

Lunatic Ex Partners

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