Lunatic Ex Partners

Paully D

Have any of you got any good stories to share about lunatic ex partners over the years?

FearDark

foreveralone.jpg

Abi

Paully D wrote: »

Have any of you got any good stories to share about lunatic ex partners over the years?

The book will be out in March :rolleyes:

Latchy

News of the World thread ...ah no it's closed down

starbelgrade

I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

Mint Sauce

starbelgrade wrote: »

I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

Mine also had a stew out of my kids rabbit.

CiaranMT

Thread has potential.

Wibbs

Abi wrote: »

The book will be out in March :rolleyes:

Abs I've got a series that would rival the Harry Potter franchise. Equally as internally daft too. Do NOT get me started.

Abi

Wibbs wrote: »

Abs I've got a series that would rival the Harry Potter franchise. Equally as internally daft too. Do NOT get me started.

I don't doubt you

wiger toods

I had one of these, I got back at her though, her and that little dog of her's!! MUUUUUUU HAAAAA HAAAAAAA! HAAAAAA! *Put's little finger to mouth*:P

Dotrel

starbelgrade wrote: »

I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

Sounds suspiciously like a movie I saw a few years ago. It was called Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

Riesen_Meal

wiger toods wrote: »

I had one of these, I got back at her though, her and that little dog of her's!! MUUUUUUU HAAAAA HAAAAAAA! HAAAAAA! *Put's little finger to mouth*:P

Did anyone else have to read the end bit twice?

I thought you were putting your little finger somewhere in the dog until I re-read your post....:P

helimachoptor

tbh i wouldnt even know where to begin

Hank_Jones

starbelgrade wrote: »

I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

Sounds like a crazy bitch, lucky that attraction didn't turn fatal for your family. Quite the close call.

Paully D

CiaranMT wrote: »

Thread has potential.

I seen it asked on another forum and some of the stories were hilarious!

Sunnyisland

:eek: Beware of the Bunny boilers :eek:







http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=bunny%20boiler&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CC8QFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FBunny_boiler&ei=T8DOTuDaDMmGhQe8qM2gDQ&usg=AFQjCNFTNVNAqXceE4k2YR1fLiTHvZpEcw

Sunnyisland

Lived with portuguese girl for years and when she got drunk she would turn into a violent possessive witch, Screaming and throwing things no matter where we were,She attacked me physically loads of times, and all because I am such a nice guy.........So Eventually we got married lol.lol.

Now divorced and living back in Ireland.

pragmatic1

Nope. I'm too Rick James for these biotches.

Kiera

I've only 2 that caused me serious problems and talking about them would only be wasting more of my time on them so i wont. The rest are grand lads.

Immaculate Pasta

starbelgrade wrote: »

I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

*yawn*

starbelgrade

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

*yawn*

Oh shut up & don't be such a tart.

filthymcnasty

Had a seious row with an ex about fcuk knows what , She grabbed my shoe and refused to give it back after an argument, cue me walking from phibsboro to city centre on sunday morn to get home one shoe on one off wtf

Sunnyisland

filthymcnasty wrote: »

Had a seious row with an ex about fcuk knows what , She grabbed my shoe and refused to give it back after an argument, cue me walking from phibsboro to city centre on sunday morn to get home one shoe on one off wtf

Did she put her foot in it

filthymcnasty

realies wrote: »

Did she put her foot in it

thats only a little bit funny but i laughed anyway ---i rang mate who lived in town. he lent me pair of runners hahah, i can't remember what happened to the other shoe. conundrum---what does one do with an odd shoe

orourkeda

starbelgrade wrote: »

I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

That shag in the lift looked kind of kinky

LighterGuy

4 years ago I was dating a girl ... and even as i type this I cant believe I was ever involved with her.

Over the course of being with her she said:

- (at the start) that her best friend recently died in a car crash. She also witnessed it.
- Her older sister had dangerously given premature birth to her twins (while in reality were born perfectly fine)
- She got mugged in the Phoenix Park one day.
- (At the end) she said she had cancer. Later claiming it to be a "scare" (she was actually saying this to her friends and not me. I got wind of it tho ... fu.cking head case!)

As you guessed it. It was all lies.
Jesus, as I wrote that I paused. That's not healthy sh.it above. I cant actually believe I listened to that crap. I was very naive and stupid back then but no excuse. Last I heard she works in child care!!!! yes. Child care. Can you imagine a person like this working with kids!!?!?!? :mad:

boomkatalog

There was the dude who liked pink elbow-length satin gloves.... In bed. On him, not me.

Lunatic might not be the right word for him but I don't know any other word that's sufficiently descriptive >.>

Doc Ruby

Whoo yeah. Psychotic. But I won't go into it as I'm not the man to hang out his dirty laundry in public.

PK2008

boomkatalog wrote: »

There was the dude who liked pink elbow-length satin gloves.... In bed. On him, not me.

Lunatic might not be the right word for him but I don't know any other word that's sufficiently descriptive >.>

Whats wrong with that................

44leto

I had this lunatic of an x who just couldn't understand why I followed her everywhere, monitored her phone, stood outside her gate every night when she broke it off. She was so nuts she just didn't realise I was doing those things out of love.

harmoniums

Here in the states I dated this girl who had horrid personality changes when drunk.
I flew her out with me to a friends wedding in Colarado and the night before the wedding she got ****faced and was refused service at the bar of the restaurant we were in.
This was my fault of course (seemingly I had a word with the barman ... I didn't).
It took me forever to get her back to the hotel where she ripped down the curtains and threw a chair through the plasterboard of the wall.
She then locked herself in the the bathroom screaming that she was going to flood the place.
I got her to open the door, and stepped in, she flung herself at me and hit me in the eye 3-4 times, and then get this, rammed a used tampon she'd just removed into my mouth!
I left the room and her and got another room
She seemingly munched a load of xanax and passed out.

Once I got settled in the new room I booked her on the first flight out of denver back to New Jersey and called her mother to pick her up.

Next morning she was still drunk when I let myself into the room but was all love-y.
That changed when I packed up her bags told her to be ready in 10 minutes and meet me out front in the car.

Drove her to the airport and dumped her there and then

The next few weeks were a bit of a pain with her calling me with everything from, "I'm pregnant" to "I'm going to kill myself"


Heres the trick fellas when it comes to the suicide threats, call their mothers and explain your concern, it shuts them right up, you won't get that empty threat again.

I felt like such a caricature at the wedding, the only Irish guy there and I had a black eye (and bloody mouth.....)

Did get me hole from a nice sympathetic Jewish girl that night though, so not a total loss

Doc Ruby

harmoniums wrote: »

and then get this rammed a used tampon she'd just removed into my mouth.

weeeeeeew

Kiera

harmoniums wrote: »

Heres the trick fellas when it comes to the suicide threats, call their mothers and explain your concern, it shuts them right up, you won't get that empty threat again.

I had to do that. The wanker took an overdoes on my birthday, rang me to tell me. I hung up and rang his Mam and told her to deal with her son as he was no longer my problem.

Frank Black

Kiera wrote: »

I had to do that. The wanker took an overdoes on my birthday, rang me to tell me. I hung up and rang his Mam and told her to deal with her son as he was no longer my problem.

Hang on. He overdid the **** on your birthday, and you told his Mam?

Jesus, that's cold.

Gummy Panda

black francis wrote: »

Hang on. He overdid the **** on your birthday, and you told his Mam?

Jesus, that's cold.

He could've gone blind.

No crazy ex stories. One suffered from depression and mood swings e.g. I love you / I don't love you. Even though it was a shítty time for me, it wasn't fully her fault. Her family were kinda cúnts

Wibbs

I had an ex ring me from her hen night looking for a hookup. She rang me four months after the wedding too. I didn't for the record. Not out of any moral fibre on my part BTW. Let's just say she went severely off the boil since we went out(briefly).

Had another ex who strung me along while she eased into a new relationship that I had no clue about at the time. I did find out and actually rang the chap in question. Turned out he was sound and we met up for a few bevs. Cue her shítting a brick when we both showed up to an event she was expecting him at. Ohh the excuses were worth their weight. Major social embarrassment for the win.

Had another wan who was the very definition of paranoid. If I even looked or god forbid talked to any woman I'd get static. She was very pretty so you do take that into consideration, but let's face it even "pretty" gets old after a while.

They're the tip of the iceberg TBH. I've even wackier ones, but details may identify those nutters too easily because of the novel nuttiness involved so I shall refrain...

earpiece

starbelgrade wrote: »

There was this one time at band camp.... I had an affair with a woman a few years ago. When the affair finished, she made my life a nightmare, slashing her wrists to get my attention, then claiming to be pregnant with my kid.

She then showed up at my house when I wasn't there - I was selling it at the time & she was pretending to be a buyer. After that, I had to move, but she kept calling me, then found my new place & poured acid on my car.

It got really bad when she kidnapped my daughter.

When I got her back, she tried to kill me & the police had her hospitalised.

But she got out, broke into my home & tried to kill my wife as she was taking a bath. I managed to stop her & as we fought, my wife shot her & she died.

True story.

flutterflye

One guy threatened to set my house on fire at night while me and my family were sleeping, also he was apparently going to kill my cats and shove my dead cats up my.... area.

He would ring/text one minute with angry texts, then the next he'd send apologetic begging messages.
Went on for ages.

We were only going out for a few months!

Immaculate Pasta

starbelgrade wrote: »

Oh shut up & don't be such a tart.

I had a housemate who dated this Muslim girl for a few weeks. My housemate found her boring and wanted to break up. Anyway she took it really badly saying that she was going to say he took advantage of her and get her brothers round :eek:. She already was seeing him in secret because her parents didn't want her dating any non Muslims. Exciting few days that was :cool:

Shane-KornSpace

not me but a mate of mine:
she cheated on him.
he pissed on her clothes.
she told him she had a miscarriage. she lied. she was never preggers.
he took a dump on her clothes.

they broke up.

she slept with a random guy.
he ran at her to hit her but went on his back on a wet floor. He took his anger out on a fruit bowl.

she gets with a guy that looks and dresses the same as my mate. 3 months later they marry. she tells her hubby shes had a miscarriage. she cheats on her hubby. they split up.

ladysarastro

A lad I used to know went out with a complete and utter pyscho! He went out one night without her permission. In revenge she sat in his car and drained the battery and pissed in the drivers seat. Classy bird :rolleyes:

Juwwi

Shane-KornSpace wrote: »

not me but a mate of mine:
she cheated on him.
he pissed on her clothes.
she told him she had a miscarriage. she lied. she was never preggers.
he took a dump on her clothes.

they broke up.

she slept with a random guy.
he ran at her to hit her but went on his back on a wet floor. He took his anger out on a fruit bowl.

she gets with a guy that looks and dresses the same as my mate. 3 months later they marry. she tells her hubby shes had a miscarriage. she cheats on her hubby. they split up.

Im trying to figure out who was the crazy one

stovelid

Had an affair with a married woman in Belfast years ago and ended it myself because of guilt - as in I was single but felt bad about doing that to her husband. Found a few years later that her husband, brother and extended family knew about it and I was being lined up for a very, very serious "talking to" that was thankfully averted due to my crisis of conscience.

SheFiend

filthymcnasty wrote: »

thats only a little bit funny but i laughed anyway ---

I laughed loads when I read the reply! I'm still kind of laughing. The silent, chest chugging kind.

Sigh.

LighterGuy

stovelid wrote: »

Had an affair with a married woman in Belfast years ago and ended it myself because of guilt - as in I was single but felt bad about doing that to her husband. Found a few years later that her husband, brother and extended family knew about it and I was being lined up for a very, very serious "talking to" that was thankfully averted due to my crisis of conscience.

Just as well you ended it so.
IMO sleeping with a woman while fully aware she has a boyfriend or worse still, a husband, justifies a beating. Despite the BS some people spout about "you should only fight in self-defense" crap we get on here ( :rolleyes: )

So in your case you definitely were best shot of her and the whole situation.

charlemont

Put a hole in my tyre.

Attempted to throw paint at the car.

She lived in the same house as me so she got into my flat by an open window twice in the night when I was in bed, The first time I woke and she was in my bed so that was good but the second time it was just to give me a pile of abuse.

She also broke both my kitchen windows once on a Sunday and then the second one two weeks later on a Saturday night in which she also brought down her bathroom bin and emptied it in my window.

She went crazy one night because I laughed at her as she didn't want to go to the night counter at the garage, Long story, So driving down by Capwell she actually attacked me as I was driving the car, We could have easily crashed.

She is some character, Still friends with her today, Very sexy too but she will never be tamed !!!

barleybooley

This thread makes me feel so less psychotic, I really need to up my game!

HazDanz

Girl I was with a while back used to blame me for her self harm. Tried to use it against me. Told her I was done with her after one particular night and got very threatening phone calls from her sister after.

sarahbro

Went out with a guy a few years ago for a few months. He cheated on me. We broke up. Case closed.

Couple of years ago he got back in touch. Was now living in my town, settled with a new girl, so sorry for how he treated me etc etc and could we be friends. I gave it a shot, realised he was still a twat and cut contact.

Then I hear he's making up all these lies about me and posting **** all over Bebo (it was a while ago!). Him and some girl I had never Met had this big long conversation on MySpace about how they knew where I lived and they were gonna beat me up on my way home from work!

****ing Psycho does not cut it!

sarahbro

Oh and then there was a guy who told me I had to pick between him and my family - after a few weeks of being together!!

And a guy who used to let go of the steering wheel while driving and head bang to whatever music was on the radio!

Jesus Shaves

sarahbro wrote: »

And a guy who used to let go of the steering wheel while driving and head bang to whatever music was on the radio!

Nothing wrong with that:p