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Liz Jones - Sperm Thief

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Comments

  • #32
    token56
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,703 ✭✭✭token56


    Do some condoms not contain spermicide too?


  • #33
    Squarewave
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,059 ✭✭✭Squarewave


    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/liz-jones-launches-used-condom-appeal-201111034504/


  • #34
    PeterIanStaker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,072 ✭✭✭PeterIanStaker


    She clearly has issues or is making this all up. Does anyone think this would happen in real life? I hope not.


  • #35
    Dotrel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭Dotrel


    Squarewave wrote: »
    http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/liz-jones-launches-used-condom-appeal-201111034504/

    The head on her. No wonder she had to steal the stuff.


  • #36
    LeeHoffmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭LeeHoffmann


    if a woman disappears to the loo immediately after sex, I suggest you find out exactly what she is up to.
    I don't think anyone needs to know exactly what she's doing


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  • #37
    PrincessLola
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 851 ✭✭✭PrincessLola


    This woman is attention seeking and batsh*t crazy, but the article is trying to make it look like stealing a man's sperm is something all women do or contemplate doing.
    Its giving the basement dwellers another excuse to hate women
    Women can't be trusted. They take what they can from men without caring what the man wants, just so long as it makes them happy. When things go wrong though, it's always the mans fault.

    case in point. :rolleyes:


  • #38
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    PrincessLola wrote: »
    This woman is attention seeking and batsh*t crazy, but the article is trying to make it look like stealing a man's sperm is something all women do or contemplate doing.

    This is established fact:


    General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: [very nervous] Lord, Jack.
    General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
    General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen... tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
    General Jack D. Ripper: [somewhat embarassed] Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
    General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
    General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
    Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
    General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.


  • #39
    LeeHoffmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭LeeHoffmann


    why does General Jack D. Ripper have Obama's voice when I read that?


  • #40
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Wolfe Tone wrote: »

    So what should we do with used condoms? Out the window? They block the jacks so its a risk to flush.
    Fill it up with water and drain it down sink or jacks or something.


    I'd say she even smells of crazy. Mad stuff.


  • #41
    Wetai
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 773 ✭✭✭Wetai


    "I don’t understand why more men aren’t wise to this risk — maybe sex addles their brain. So let me offer a warning to men wishing to avoid any chance of unwanted fatherhood: if a woman disappears to the loo immediately after sex, I suggest you find out exactly what she is up to. "
    She's acting as if she's performing a public service by warning people about this :rolleyes:

    She's probably expecting to get child support-type payments from him now if it had worked. :l.


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  • #42
    starbelgrade
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,739 ✭✭✭✭starbelgrade


    LiamN wrote: »
    if a woman disappears to the loo immediately after sex, I suggest you find out exactly what she is up to.

    Normally it's just a huers bath.


  • #43
    floorpie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,542 ✭✭✭floorpie


    mackg wrote: »
    Wouldn't poking holes in the condom have been an awful lot easier and far less weird?

    On the other hand, poking holes would mean it'd leak when she's sneaking off to the bathroom.

    Don't want to get Liz Jones pregnant...do or don't poke holes in condom?! It's a trap :s


  • #44
    earpiece
    Closed Accounts Posts: 550 ✭✭✭earpiece


    In that photo it looks like she's got something in her mouth she's keeping for later!


  • #45
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    floorpie wrote: »
    On the other hand, poking holes would mean it'd leak when she's sneaking off to the bathroom.

    Don't want to get Liz Jones pregnant...do or don't poke holes in condom?! It's a trap :s

    Best solution is for no one ever to have sex with Liz Jones. EVER.


  • #46
    Dotrel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭Dotrel


    He could have saved us from this whole article by just shooting off in her face at the end of the deed. Nothing says "I like things as they are" like a face full of jizz.


  • #47
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,031 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Anyone watch Bad Teacher? Cameron Diaz's character says Chicago Bulls players bring their condoms with them after a one night stand.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #48
    super_furry
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,387 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    I know it's not right to wish death on anyone but if the people who write for the Daily Mail had simply never been, I think the world would be a slightly brighter place.


  • #49
    Snakeblood
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,461 ✭✭✭Snakeblood


    super_furry wrote: »
    I know it's not right to wish death on anyone but if the people who write for the Daily Mail had simply never been, I think the world would be a slightly brighter place.

    Console yourself with the idea that they manage to combine easily proven ineptitude with their malevolence. Someone who is good at engineering agenda driven bile is much harder to spot.


  • #50
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    I love the way the way they try and turn some statistically remote batshit occurence into an epidemic via steroidal journalism.


  • #51
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    stovelid wrote: »
    I love the way the way they try and turn some statistically remote batshit occurence into an epidemic via steroidal journalism.

    Will you have sex with me? I don't want a baby :pac:


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  • #52
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    PrincessLola wrote: »
    This woman is attention seeking and batsh*t crazy, but the article is trying to make it look like stealing a man's sperm is something all women do or contemplate doing.
    Its giving the basement dwellers another excuse to hate women
    Women can't be trusted. They take what they can from men without caring what the man wants, just so long as it makes them happy. When things go wrong though, it's always the mans fault.

    case in point. :rolleyes:
    Yep, people with women issues LOVE sh1t like this...


  • #53
    Alan b.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 502 ✭✭✭Alan b.


    floorpie wrote: »
    mackg wrote: »
    Wouldn't poking holes in the condom have been an awful lot easier and far less weird?

    On the other hand, poking holes would mean it'd leak when she's sneaking off to the bathroom.

    Don't want to get Liz Jones pregnant...do or don't poke holes in condom?! It's a trap :s

    I think it was implied that she poke a few pin holes in the condom before he uses it.


  • #54
    stovelid
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,252 ✭✭✭✭stovelid


    Abi wrote: »
    Will you have sex with me? I don't want a baby :pac:

    Oh go on then.


  • #55
    Martyn1989
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,561 ✭✭✭Martyn1989


    This sounds like something the birds on sex and the city would do


  • #56
    Dotrel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭Dotrel


    Martyn1989 wrote: »
    This sounds like something the birds on sex and the city would do

    Sarah Jessica Parker has a vet down at the stud who gets it whenever she needs some.


  • #57
    LeeHoffmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭LeeHoffmann


    Nothing says "I like things as they are" like a face full of jizz.
    If you like getting your face jizzed up (and who am I to judge?), I'm sure there's plenty of boardsies who'd be only too happy to oblige.
    Blast him with jizz?


  • #58
    booboo88
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,107 ✭✭✭booboo88


    Im totally confused, is she a real person?
    Who the hell is liz jones when shes around?


    Sperm banks do charge I suppose.

    Kinda screams desperation


  • #59
    Oh_Noes
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,512 ✭✭✭Oh_Noes


    My whole experience of Liz Jones before this was reading her article in the back of the Sunday Mail magazine which is usually in the bathroom of my friend's house. I have usually already read the shampoo bottle.

    I always thought she was a fictional character; a kind of generic Bridget Jones type middle-aged-and-not-getting-any-younger woman desperately seeking the storybook life that she has already missed. I honestly thought that her article was satirical and most likely written by a man.

    Shocking to find out that this is actually a person.


  • #60
    J. Marston
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,408 ✭✭✭✭J. Marston


    Liz Jones - Oxygen thief.


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  • #61
    Nolanger
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,556 ✭✭✭Nolanger


    booboo88 wrote: »
    Who the hell is liz jones when shes around?
    She's in her 50s and childless, for a very good reason.


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