Tales from your school days

DEFTLEFTHAND · 29-10-2011 05:24PM

Tried to organise a heist on the local Garda station to capture the L.C exam papers.

floutingmaxims · 29-10-2011 05:33PM

Rumour has it the old principal of our primary school locked up the bold kids in the drawer of his desk. Yes the drawer. We believed it!

I kept getting put in the 'black book' for hopping the school wall and running to the shop to buy everyone Mr.Freezes and 99's for the more prosperous.

cocoshovel · 29-10-2011 05:36PM

My school was mental. Flogging tables all over the shop constantly! We could get away with anything.

I remember in 4th year we had this really boring religion class that nobody cared about. It was about quarter to 4 and everyone was just roaring and talking etc.
One of the students kicked up a fuss and said he was leaving early, as happened in every class. Anyway when he walked out the door the teacher followed him for a split second feebly saying "coming back" or whatever.
In that short few seconds she turned her back the entire class busted out the emergency exit of the class (we had emergency exits in every class). It was just me and my friend left sitting there when she turned back.
Chair spinning in the middle of the room, tables thrown everywhere, rubbish carpeting the floor...complete silence.
me and my friend: "well miss".........she just gave up and left too. I just like that story because it was like something out of the Simpsons or a cartoon :pac:

We had these 2 classrooms separated by a weak wood partition. there was like this constant rivalry between the classes on either side. One day we had a class and the students on the other side had an unsupervised free class. Everyone was just ****ing **** against the partitions and full on running and jumping into it. It wasn't too long until someone busted the thing right through collapsing it in on our classroom.
Actually, this used to happen in most rooms, except the walls were a bit stronger than that rooms one and didn't collapse.

You would have to have been in my school for 6 years to see the absolute chaos and disorder that went on there, I just cant explain all of it. The majority of people there were pretty mentally retarded too. A huge amount of people were border line illiterate.

mattjack · 29-10-2011 05:38PM

cocoshovel wrote: »

My school was mental. Flogging tables all over the shop constantly! We could get away with anything.

I remember in 4th year we had this really boring religion class that nobody cared about. It was about quarter to 4 and everyone was just roaring and talking etc.
One of the students kicked up a fuss and said he was leaving early, as happened in every class. Anyway when he walked out the door the teacher followed him for a split second feebly saying "coming back" or whatever.
In that short few seconds she turned her back the entire class busted out the emergency exit of the class (we had emergency exits in every class). It was just me and my friend left sitting there when she turned back.
Chair spinning in the middle of the room, tables thrown everywhere, rubbish carpeting the floor...complete silence.
me and my friend: "well miss".........she just gave up and left too. I just like that story because it was like something out of the Simpsons or a cartoon :pac:

We had these 2 classrooms separated by a weak wood partition. there was like this constant rivalry between the classes on either side. One day we had a class and the students on the other side had an unsupervised free class. Everyone was just ****ing **** against the partitions and full on running and jumping into it. It wasn't too long until someone busted the thing right through collapsing it in on our classroom.
Actually, this used to happen in most rooms, except the walls were a bit stronger than that rooms one and didn't collapse.

You would have to have been in my school for 6 years to see the absolute chaos and disorder that went on there, I just cant explain all of it. The majority of people there were pretty mentally retarded too. A huge amount of people were border line illiterate.

Sounds like a "one flew over the cuckoos nest" type of school.

Tubsandtiles · 29-10-2011 05:52PM

I once gave Irish Grinds to a Cork lad who was madly in love with me and always asking for some "feeky"

He stalked me on a night out and I left him with the words "maybe in a few years". He then posted the whole experience on the internet :rolleyes:

Wetai · 29-10-2011 05:53PM

castletownman wrote: »

I once had this hot history teacher. Buxom blonde, tights, short skirt etc. Anyway one day with the mocks fast apporaching, she offered me grinds after school. I showed up to her office fully ready to learn more about Hitler's expansion motives in Europe during World War 2, and indeed the role Charles Stewart Parnell played in the Land League, but soon discovered she was a nymphomaniac. It was right out of a scene from a porno, and the best two minutes of my life.

I will always love you Ms.Coxxx

Jay?

ROFLcopter · 29-10-2011 05:57PM

I remember one of the lads in my class was boning the French teacher, everyone knew, including some of the other teachers, she was swiftly 'moved' to another school.

Mike 1972 · 29-10-2011 06:09PM

ROFLcopter wrote: »

I remember one of the lads in my class was boning the French teacher.

Nice

Yakult · 29-10-2011 06:30PM

That if you kissed a girl, you would get aids.

shannie · 29-10-2011 06:34PM

StaticNoise wrote: »

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

We have a teacher that does that :P

ringadingding · 29-10-2011 06:59PM

When I was in 2nd or 3rd class, about 6/7 years old.

I had been aggrieved with some punishment, so I wrote 5 notes. Each note had
Mrs ........
You are a f@cking b@stard

And I signed them all with the name of the class goody two shoes.

I then spent the day sneaking in and out of the various classrooms and planted the notes in the teachers hand bags, and most daringly of all on the desk of the headmistress.

Needless to say, mum was hauled into the school again, I was suspended and got the wooden spoon.

Conchir · 29-10-2011 07:54PM

We ordered pizza to our prefab once, when the teacher decided not to turn up for our class.

It got delivered. We ate. We got an almighty bollocking from our year head.

mojesius · 29-10-2011 08:45PM

My 3rd class teacher was hilarious - She used to flirt outrageously with any men that came near her - Fathers, fellow teachers etc. She used to write lovesongs and make us learn them and sing different harmonies, while she played piano. We'd do this for at least an hour every day that year. Last I heard, she married a rich Texan and was living the American dream!

Better than our 2nd class teacher who was obsessed with cross stitch and knitting - That year was like a sweatshop.

cruiser178 · 29-10-2011 09:07PM

policarp wrote: »

I got 6 of the best once.
Christian Brother or wha?

6 of the best christian brothers :eek: bet that was sore.

When I was about 7 and in second class the teacher we had was very strict, a right bitch, anyway one day class finished at 1 o clock for lunch so we all went home. So back in class 40 mins later we are all sitting down when in arrives one of the slower kids 10 mins late. The teacher fcuking looses it and screams, Mr Shannon why are you late, he just stands there like a rabbit caught between the head lights of a car. So again she screams, Mr Shannon why are you late(he was visibly shaking) to which he replied "I slept it out miss". I still get a bit of a laugh about it today 30 years later.

woodoo · 29-10-2011 09:23PM

In primary school this guy started laughing uncontrollably and a big green horn started falling out of his nose. He was laughing and trying to call for a tissue at the same time. The greenie kept getting bigger and stretching, it was about 2 foot long coming out of his nostril. He was hanging over the desk at the end as he didn't want to touch it or get it on his books. It was hilarious and revolting at the same time.

Shane-KornSpace · 29-10-2011 09:28PM

In Irish class I farted which in turn got the whole class to write 200 lines saying Farts Are Not Funny.
Only 1 person actually wrote it out.

Amzie · 29-10-2011 09:32PM

When I was in secondary school a group of my friends broke some lights in our class with the sweeping brush! All the bullies normally broke them so wen we had a go, they got the blame

cruiser178 · 29-10-2011 09:36PM

Shane-KornSpace wrote: »

In Irish class I farted which in turn got the whole class to write 200 lines saying Farts Are Not Funny.
Only 1 person actually wrote it out.

Farts are funny, ha.

Shane-KornSpace · 29-10-2011 09:39PM

while our new school was being built, the one were in had bins up and down the corridors to catch all the rain water. One day the principal lost the rag and forgot the bins were full of water so he kicked it.
His foot went through the bag, completely soaked himself so he punched the wall.

A lil scumbag in my class was acting up in science so my teacher shouted ''get the **** down to the back of the class''.
''but sir, theres no stools down here''.
Teacher picks up a stool and throws it down to the back of class at him and says ''sit the f*** on that!''.

Engineering teacher was out sick so we all thought it would be a good idea to make Ninja Death Stars. about 15 of us tested them out on the class door.
Teacher arrives in the next day and looks at the door and says in a very boring careless tone ''lads.....anyone know what happened to the door?''.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 29-10-2011 10:25PM

We had the same teacher after 11am break each day for maths class. For the first two weeks of the year someone (sometimes me, sometimes not) stuck chewing gum into the keyhole so he couldnt get the key in to unlock the door. He would then ask if anyone had a compass and of course no one had one (yet everyone would miraculously have one when needed in class) so he'd head off get one somewhere else, come back, pick out the gum and open the door. 15 minutes would have been wasted each day with this carry on until he decided he would just leave the door open and spoiled our fun.

Our geography class while in 2nd/3rd year was in the same room used for music and all the musical instruments were kept in a small store room off the class room. Anyway one day i was messing in class and the teacher told me to get out of the class, i got up to walk out and he told me to go into the instrument store room. So in i went, the place was full of instruments, drums, piano, flutes, guitars etc etc and best of all the key was in the lock on the inside, so i locked the door and proceeded to play the drums. The teacher tried to open the door and started hammering on the door and shouting at me to open it, the louder he hammered the louder i played. He was totally enraged and roaring at me, i'd stop playing and say i couldnt hear what he was saying due to the noise and start banging them again. I then decided to stop and let him get on with teaching but i got bored and decided to mess about on the piano and the banging on the door started again. I'd stop and he'd get on with class and i'd pick a different instrument and try and play it and the hammering on the door would start again. The class was in fits of laughing at my antics. I waited for 15minutes after class ended and i had to get out through a window as he had locked the door when class was over. I avided the class for nearly 3 weeks and when i did go back in again he never mentioned it ever again.

Tales from your school days

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