Tales from your school days

Da Shins Kelly

Anybody have any good stories from their school days - playground games, strange punishments, bullying, weird teachers, funny incidents, memorable classmates.

Had a night of reminiscing with a few friends about some hilarious stuff that happened to us in school - one girl who used to steal fags out of the teacher's bag when their back was turned, or the girl who knocked over all the lockers in the corridor and nearly killed our religion teacher, or another girl who vomited into her friend's locker and the vomit lay there, undiscovered, for two weeks, stinking out the locker area (nobody could figure out where it was coming from).

So just like to hear any good stories other people might have!

starviewadams

There was already one of these I think.

StaticNoise

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

sgb

I always wondered who stole my smokes from my bag

pudzey101

I glued my history teacher to his chair and got suspended for it
Took the door down off the hinges and when he went to get the principal we put it back up to make him look like a looney
He finally came in one day with a stench of whiskey off him and screamed " I CANT TEACH THIS CLASS" and never saw him again lol

John Doe1

I was hogtied once and dismembered and then after shot out of a cannon, ah schooldays :rolleyes:

orourkeda

I got suspended for getting my hair cut

policarp

I got 6 of the best once.
Christian Brother or wha?

policarp

Where's my 6 of the best?

OneArt

We were waiting outside the maths room one day (the teacher was ALWAYS late, not that I'm complaining...) and it was locked. There was a door to the back of the building right next to us, so you could walk around and look in the window. Those windows were always open so you could easily climb through.

So the entire class went outside and climbed into the class through the windows. We all got our books, pencils, copies everything etc. sat in our assigned seats quietly, looking all eager to learn.

The teacher comes up to the door, looks through the class to see us there, and tries to open the door with this big confused look on her face. We just sat there in stitches.

It took her a while to figure out that you could open the door with a key...

holystungun9

sgb wrote: »

I always wondered who stole my smokes from my bag

Sorry teach.

crazygeryy

starviewadams wrote: »

There was already one of these I think.

yea, and i was banned for a week because of it.not going there again.

chopperbyrne

StaticNoise wrote: »

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

Greenhills College, religion teacher who only lasted a year?

kfallon

StaticNoise wrote: »

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

sardonic

Bishop came to see our class before comfirmations. We were all standing in a semi-circle around him. The teacher was sitting down the classroom listening on. The Bishop started asking about the religious aspect of sex.

Know it all beside me stuck her hand up and filled him in on the physical side of things. Bishop went scarlet and teacher nearly choked herself laughing. This happened in the seventies. Different times.

Fozzydog3

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

dominiquecruz

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

Congratulations??

joshrogan

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

It'd be funny if she wasn't heavily pregnant.

Fozzydog3

joshrogan wrote: »

It'd be funny if she wasn't heavily pregnant.

Sorry I tell a lie it the teacher i tripped over wasnt pregnant , the pregnant one just guilt tripped me about the possiblity of her falling over

castletownman

I once had this hot history teacher. Buxom blonde, tights, short skirt etc. Anyway one day with the mocks fast apporaching, she offered me grinds after school. I showed up to her office fully ready to learn more about Hitler's expansion motives in Europe during World War 2, and indeed the role Charles Stewart Parnell played in the Land League, but soon discovered she was a nymphomaniac. It was right out of a scene from a porno, and the best two minutes of my life.

I will always love you Ms.Coxxx

Savage Tyrant

kfallon wrote: »

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

Haha... Once had almost the same essay to write only it was the inside of a Ping Pong ball... I used a similar method to yours only I pretty much ripped off George Lucas and told an epically abridged version of Star Wars. :pac:

mackg

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

BABY KILLER

The J Stands for Jay

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

kfallon wrote: »

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

Haha... Once had almost the same essay to write only it was the inside of a Ping Pong ball... I used a similar method to yours only I pretty much ripped off George Lucas and told an epically abridged version of Star Wars. :pac:

Did they teach that one in teacher training or what?

pragmatic1

We were allowed to smoke on our bus, the place was full of drugs and the teachers couldnt give a fcuk.

Irish Guitarist

One day, either between classes or at break time, I was standing around messing with a friend when another pupil came up behind me and gave me a kick up the arse. It was one of those kicks that goes up between your cheeks and inside your body. He then walked away, thinking he was a real hard man. I went over and pushed him as hard as I possibly could and he landed against the wall.

I was delighted to have taken the smug smile off of his ugly face until his brother, who was about six feet tall, got up from the radiator he had been sitting on and gave me a punch in the nose.

My nose started spouting blood and I thought it was broken so I went to the principal to ask if I could go to the doctor. The school sports day was starting after lunch and I was already in my tracksuit. I said to the principal "I think my nose is broken" and he shouted at me "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR UNIFORM?". I was profoundly moved by his sympathetic reaction.

I don't know if that's funny or if it was just one in a long line of incidents at school that made me eventually pack it in to do a FAS course when I was sixteen. Happy times.

ChunkyLover_53

Pulled a sickie from school.
Took my mates Da's car.
Faked the death of one of my girlfriends relatives to get her out of school.
The three of us drove to Chicago where I pretend to be Abe Froman 'The Sausage king of Chicago' & got a free lunch in a fine restaurant.
Drove home but wrecked me mates Da's car.

I had a great day.

Didn't end well for me mate though, his Da knocked the bollix out of him and he ended up addicted to meth.

saa

After Mary was elected for her first term I was about 6, she came to visit our school in Dublin, a modern school.

For the 10 or so students who forgot their recorder were locked in a class room, we were all on our own for a few hours even during the tour.

My my how I hope things have changed.

StaticNoise

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Greenhills College, religion teacher who only lasted a year?

No, different place. Unless you can describe the teacher: any distinguishable characteristics?

kfallon wrote: »

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

I wish I had done that.

Mike 1972

pragmatic1 wrote: »

the place was full of drugs and the teachers couldnt give a fcuk.

They were probably getting a cut

Temptamperu

We used to have a priest as a religion teacher but we just threw stuff at him and took the piss. One day he slammed his hands down on the table and shouted "RIGHT THATS IT" and stormed out of the classroom.
We thought he was going to get the year head but then we heard a screeh of tyres and his car speeding out of the carpark.
Never seen him again.

ballsacky

Someone clogged up the jacks with toilet paper in primary school once,and after a lengthy investigation with no culprit found we were all issued a quota of one square of toilet paper each to take a sh1te.Tough times.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Tried to organise a heist on the local Garda station to capture the L.C exam papers.

floutingmaxims

Rumour has it the old principal of our primary school locked up the bold kids in the drawer of his desk. Yes the drawer. We believed it!

I kept getting put in the 'black book' for hopping the school wall and running to the shop to buy everyone Mr.Freezes and 99's for the more prosperous.

cocoshovel

My school was mental. Flogging tables all over the shop constantly! We could get away with anything.

I remember in 4th year we had this really boring religion class that nobody cared about. It was about quarter to 4 and everyone was just roaring and talking etc.
One of the students kicked up a fuss and said he was leaving early, as happened in every class. Anyway when he walked out the door the teacher followed him for a split second feebly saying "coming back" or whatever.
In that short few seconds she turned her back the entire class busted out the emergency exit of the class (we had emergency exits in every class). It was just me and my friend left sitting there when she turned back.
Chair spinning in the middle of the room, tables thrown everywhere, rubbish carpeting the floor...complete silence.
me and my friend: "well miss".........she just gave up and left too. I just like that story because it was like something out of the Simpsons or a cartoon :pac:


We had these 2 classrooms separated by a weak wood partition. there was like this constant rivalry between the classes on either side. One day we had a class and the students on the other side had an unsupervised free class. Everyone was just ****ing **** against the partitions and full on running and jumping into it. It wasn't too long until someone busted the thing right through collapsing it in on our classroom.
Actually, this used to happen in most rooms, except the walls were a bit stronger than that rooms one and didn't collapse.

You would have to have been in my school for 6 years to see the absolute chaos and disorder that went on there, I just cant explain all of it. The majority of people there were pretty mentally retarded too. A huge amount of people were border line illiterate.

mattjack

cocoshovel wrote: »

My school was mental. Flogging tables all over the shop constantly! We could get away with anything.

I remember in 4th year we had this really boring religion class that nobody cared about. It was about quarter to 4 and everyone was just roaring and talking etc.
One of the students kicked up a fuss and said he was leaving early, as happened in every class. Anyway when he walked out the door the teacher followed him for a split second feebly saying "coming back" or whatever.
In that short few seconds she turned her back the entire class busted out the emergency exit of the class (we had emergency exits in every class). It was just me and my friend left sitting there when she turned back.
Chair spinning in the middle of the room, tables thrown everywhere, rubbish carpeting the floor...complete silence.
me and my friend: "well miss".........she just gave up and left too. I just like that story because it was like something out of the Simpsons or a cartoon :pac:


We had these 2 classrooms separated by a weak wood partition. there was like this constant rivalry between the classes on either side. One day we had a class and the students on the other side had an unsupervised free class. Everyone was just ****ing **** against the partitions and full on running and jumping into it. It wasn't too long until someone busted the thing right through collapsing it in on our classroom.
Actually, this used to happen in most rooms, except the walls were a bit stronger than that rooms one and didn't collapse.

You would have to have been in my school for 6 years to see the absolute chaos and disorder that went on there, I just cant explain all of it. The majority of people there were pretty mentally retarded too. A huge amount of people were border line illiterate.

Sounds like a "one flew over the cuckoos nest" type of school.

Tubsandtiles

I once gave Irish Grinds to a Cork lad who was madly in love with me and always asking for some "feeky" He stalked me on a night out and I left him with the words "maybe in a few years". He then posted the whole experience on the internet :rolleyes:

Wetai

castletownman wrote: »

I once had this hot history teacher. Buxom blonde, tights, short skirt etc. Anyway one day with the mocks fast apporaching, she offered me grinds after school. I showed up to her office fully ready to learn more about Hitler's expansion motives in Europe during World War 2, and indeed the role Charles Stewart Parnell played in the Land League, but soon discovered she was a nymphomaniac. It was right out of a scene from a porno, and the best two minutes of my life.

I will always love you Ms.Coxxx

Jay?

ROFLcopter

I remember one of the lads in my class was boning the French teacher, everyone knew, including some of the other teachers, she was swiftly 'moved' to another school.

Mike 1972

ROFLcopter wrote: »

I remember one of the lads in my class was boning the French teacher.

Nice

Yakult

That if you kissed a girl, you would get aids.

shannie

StaticNoise wrote: »

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

We have a teacher that does that :P

ringadingding

When I was in 2nd or 3rd class, about 6/7 years old.

I had been aggrieved with some punishment, so I wrote 5 notes. Each note had
Mrs ........
You are a f@cking b@stard

And I signed them all with the name of the class goody two shoes.

I then spent the day sneaking in and out of the various classrooms and planted the notes in the teachers hand bags, and most daringly of all on the desk of the headmistress.

Needless to say, mum was hauled into the school again, I was suspended and got the wooden spoon.

Conchir

We ordered pizza to our prefab once, when the teacher decided not to turn up for our class.

It got delivered. We ate. We got an almighty bollocking from our year head.

mojesius

My 3rd class teacher was hilarious - She used to flirt outrageously with any men that came near her - Fathers, fellow teachers etc. She used to write lovesongs and make us learn them and sing different harmonies, while she played piano. We'd do this for at least an hour every day that year. Last I heard, she married a rich Texan and was living the American dream!

Better than our 2nd class teacher who was obsessed with cross stitch and knitting - That year was like a sweatshop.

cruiser178

policarp wrote: »

I got 6 of the best once.
Christian Brother or wha?

6 of the best christian brothers :eek: bet that was sore.

When I was about 7 and in second class the teacher we had was very strict, a right bitch, anyway one day class finished at 1 o clock for lunch so we all went home. So back in class 40 mins later we are all sitting down when in arrives one of the slower kids 10 mins late. The teacher fcuking looses it and screams, Mr Shannon why are you late, he just stands there like a rabbit caught between the head lights of a car. So again she screams, Mr Shannon why are you late(he was visibly shaking) to which he replied "I slept it out miss". I still get a bit of a laugh about it today 30 years later.

woodoo

In primary school this guy started laughing uncontrollably and a big green horn started falling out of his nose. He was laughing and trying to call for a tissue at the same time. The greenie kept getting bigger and stretching, it was about 2 foot long coming out of his nostril. He was hanging over the desk at the end as he didn't want to touch it or get it on his books. It was hilarious and revolting at the same time.

Shane-KornSpace

In Irish class I farted which in turn got the whole class to write 200 lines saying Farts Are Not Funny.
Only 1 person actually wrote it out.

Amzie

When I was in secondary school a group of my friends broke some lights in our class with the sweeping brush! All the bullies normally broke them so wen we had a go, they got the blame

cruiser178

Shane-KornSpace wrote: »

In Irish class I farted which in turn got the whole class to write 200 lines saying Farts Are Not Funny.
Only 1 person actually wrote it out.

Farts are funny, ha.

Shane-KornSpace

while our new school was being built, the one were in had bins up and down the corridors to catch all the rain water. One day the principal lost the rag and forgot the bins were full of water so he kicked it.
His foot went through the bag, completely soaked himself so he punched the wall.

A lil scumbag in my class was acting up in science so my teacher shouted ''get the **** down to the back of the class''.
''but sir, theres no stools down here''.
Teacher picks up a stool and throws it down to the back of class at him and says ''sit the f*** on that!''.

Engineering teacher was out sick so we all thought it would be a good idea to make Ninja Death Stars. about 15 of us tested them out on the class door.
Teacher arrives in the next day and looks at the door and says in a very boring careless tone ''lads.....anyone know what happened to the door?''.

Cee-Jay-Cee

We had the same teacher after 11am break each day for maths class. For the first two weeks of the year someone (sometimes me, sometimes not) stuck chewing gum into the keyhole so he couldnt get the key in to unlock the door. He would then ask if anyone had a compass and of course no one had one (yet everyone would miraculously have one when needed in class) so he'd head off get one somewhere else, come back, pick out the gum and open the door. 15 minutes would have been wasted each day with this carry on until he decided he would just leave the door open and spoiled our fun.

Our geography class while in 2nd/3rd year was in the same room used for music and all the musical instruments were kept in a small store room off the class room. Anyway one day i was messing in class and the teacher told me to get out of the class, i got up to walk out and he told me to go into the instrument store room. So in i went, the place was full of instruments, drums, piano, flutes, guitars etc etc and best of all the key was in the lock on the inside, so i locked the door and proceeded to play the drums. The teacher tried to open the door and started hammering on the door and shouting at me to open it, the louder he hammered the louder i played. He was totally enraged and roaring at me, i'd stop playing and say i couldnt hear what he was saying due to the noise and start banging them again. I then decided to stop and let him get on with teaching but i got bored and decided to mess about on the piano and the banging on the door started again. I'd stop and he'd get on with class and i'd pick a different instrument and try and play it and the hammering on the door would start again. The class was in fits of laughing at my antics. I waited for 15minutes after class ended and i had to get out through a window as he had locked the door when class was over. I avided the class for nearly 3 weeks and when i did go back in again he never mentioned it ever again.