Tales from your school days

Da Shins Kelly · 29-10-2011 02:29AM #1

Anybody have any good stories from their school days - playground games, strange punishments, bullying, weird teachers, funny incidents, memorable classmates.

Had a night of reminiscing with a few friends about some hilarious stuff that happened to us in school - one girl who used to steal fags out of the teacher's bag when their back was turned, or the girl who knocked over all the lockers in the corridor and nearly killed our religion teacher, or another girl who vomited into her friend's locker and the vomit lay there, undiscovered, for two weeks, stinking out the locker area (nobody could figure out where it was coming from).

So just like to hear any good stories other people might have!

starviewadams · 29-10-2011 02:32AM

There was already one of these I think.

StaticNoise · 29-10-2011 02:34AM

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

sgb · 29-10-2011 02:34AM

I always wondered who stole my smokes from my bag

pudzey101 · 29-10-2011 02:35AM

I glued my history teacher to his chair and got suspended for it

Took the door down off the hinges and when he went to get the principal we put it back up to make him look like a looney

He finally came in one day with a stench of whiskey off him and screamed " I CANT TEACH THIS CLASS" and never saw him again lol

John Doe1 · 29-10-2011 02:36AM

I was hogtied once and dismembered and then after shot out of a cannon, ah schooldays :rolleyes:

orourkeda · 29-10-2011 02:37AM

I got suspended for getting my hair cut

policarp · 29-10-2011 02:40AM

I got 6 of the best once.
Christian Brother or wha?

policarp · 29-10-2011 02:45AM

Where's my 6 of the best?

OneArt · 29-10-2011 03:31AM

We were waiting outside the maths room one day (the teacher was ALWAYS late, not that I'm complaining...) and it was locked. There was a door to the back of the building right next to us, so you could walk around and look in the window. Those windows were always open so you could easily climb through.

So the entire class went outside and climbed into the class through the windows. We all got our books, pencils, copies everything etc. sat in our assigned seats quietly, looking all eager to learn.

The teacher comes up to the door, looks through the class to see us there, and tries to open the door with this big confused look on her face. We just sat there in stitches.

It took her a while to figure out that you could open the door with a key...

holystungun9 · 29-10-2011 07:02AM

sgb wrote: »

I always wondered who stole my smokes from my bag

Sorry teach.

crazygeryy · 29-10-2011 09:03AM

starviewadams wrote: »

There was already one of these I think.

yea, and i was banned for a week because of it.not going there again.

chopperbyrne · 29-10-2011 09:38AM

StaticNoise wrote: »

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

Greenhills College, religion teacher who only lasted a year?

kfallon · 29-10-2011 10:50AM

StaticNoise wrote: »

If you did something wrong the teacher would give you a 2000 word essay entitled "The inside of a golf ball".

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

sardonic · 29-10-2011 11:07AM

Bishop came to see our class before comfirmations. We were all standing in a semi-circle around him. The teacher was sitting down the classroom listening on. The Bishop started asking about the religious aspect of sex.

Know it all beside me stuck her hand up and filled him in on the physical side of things. Bishop went scarlet and teacher nearly choked herself laughing. This happened in the seventies. Different times.

Fozzydog3 · 29-10-2011 11:09AM

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

dominiquecruz · 29-10-2011 11:16AM

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

Congratulations??

joshrogan · 29-10-2011 11:17AM

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

It'd be funny if she wasn't heavily pregnant.

Fozzydog3 · 29-10-2011 11:22AM

joshrogan wrote: »

It'd be funny if she wasn't heavily pregnant.

Sorry I tell a lie it the teacher i tripped over wasnt pregnant , the pregnant one just guilt tripped me about the possiblity of her falling over

castletownman · 29-10-2011 11:33AM

I once had this hot history teacher. Buxom blonde, tights, short skirt etc. Anyway one day with the mocks fast apporaching, she offered me grinds after school. I showed up to her office fully ready to learn more about Hitler's expansion motives in Europe during World War 2, and indeed the role Charles Stewart Parnell played in the Land League, but soon discovered she was a nymphomaniac. It was right out of a scene from a porno, and the best two minutes of my life.

I will always love you Ms.Coxxx

Savage Tyrant · 29-10-2011 11:33AM

kfallon wrote: »

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

Haha... Once had almost the same essay to write only it was the inside of a Ping Pong ball... I used a similar method to yours only I pretty much ripped off George Lucas and told an epically abridged version of Star Wars. :pac:

mackg · 29-10-2011 11:35AM

Fozzydog3 wrote: »

I once brought in 10lb fishing line and tied it to a pipe in the toilets and walked around school with it in my pocket , and I tripped over our heavily pregnant vice principal :cool:

BABY KILLER

The J Stands for Jay · 29-10-2011 12:06PM

Savage Tyrant wrote: »

kfallon wrote: »

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

Haha... Once had almost the same essay to write only it was the inside of a Ping Pong ball... I used a similar method to yours only I pretty much ripped off George Lucas and told an epically abridged version of Star Wars. :pac:

Did they teach that one in teacher training or what?

pragmatic1 · 29-10-2011 12:06PM

We were allowed to smoke on our bus, the place was full of drugs and the teachers couldnt give a fcuk.

Irish Guitarist · 29-10-2011 12:32PM

One day, either between classes or at break time, I was standing around messing with a friend when another pupil came up behind me and gave me a kick up the arse. It was one of those kicks that goes up between your cheeks and inside your body. He then walked away, thinking he was a real hard man. I went over and pushed him as hard as I possibly could and he landed against the wall.

I was delighted to have taken the smug smile off of his ugly face until his brother, who was about six feet tall, got up from the radiator he had been sitting on and gave me a punch in the nose.

My nose started spouting blood and I thought it was broken so I went to the principal to ask if I could go to the doctor. The school sports day was starting after lunch and I was already in my tracksuit. I said to the principal "I think my nose is broken" and he shouted at me "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR UNIFORM?". I was profoundly moved by his sympathetic reaction.

I don't know if that's funny or if it was just one in a long line of incidents at school that made me eventually pack it in to do a FAS course when I was sixteen. Happy times.

ChunkyLover_53 · 29-10-2011 12:40PM

Pulled a sickie from school.
Took my mates Da's car.
Faked the death of one of my girlfriends relatives to get her out of school.
The three of us drove to Chicago where I pretend to be Abe Froman 'The Sausage king of Chicago' & got a free lunch in a fine restaurant.
Drove home but wrecked me mates Da's car.

I had a great day.

Didn't end well for me mate though, his Da knocked the bollix out of him and he ended up addicted to meth.

saa · 29-10-2011 03:15PM

After Mary was elected for her first term I was about 6, she came to visit our school in Dublin, a modern school.

For the 10 or so students who forgot their recorder were locked in a class room, we were all on our own for a few hours even during the tour.

My my how I hope things have changed.

StaticNoise · 29-10-2011 03:40PM

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Greenhills College, religion teacher who only lasted a year?

No, different place. Unless you can describe the teacher: any distinguishable characteristics?

kfallon wrote: »

Very easy to do, "I have always imagined that inside a golf ball there is a whole minute world full of miniscule people. It is like a throwback to Germany under Hitler....."

Then get out your History book and write out the section about Hitler's Germany. No thought needed just pure plageurism!

I wish I had done that.

Mike 1972 · 29-10-2011 04:51PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

the place was full of drugs and the teachers couldnt give a fcuk.

They were probably getting a cut

Temptamperu · 29-10-2011 05:20PM

We used to have a priest as a religion teacher but we just threw stuff at him and took the piss. One day he slammed his hands down on the table and shouted "RIGHT THATS IT" and stormed out of the classroom.
We thought he was going to get the year head but then we heard a screeh of tyres and his car speeding out of the carpark.
Never seen him again.

ballsacky · 29-10-2011 05:24PM

Someone clogged up the jacks with toilet paper in primary school once,and after a lengthy investigation with no culprit found we were all issued a quota of one square of toilet paper each to take a sh1te.Tough times.

Tales from your school days

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