Cancer Scares

First off anyone who has a problem with a testicle get it checked out asap but be reassured that its far, far, far more likely to be something other then cancer.


Testicular cancer normally presents as a small lump with most patients being young, teenagers and early 20's, at a few months over 27 I would have bene on the older side. You can get it still when much older.

Ill give my experience if it might be of help to anybody.



In my own case I noticed my testicle was twice as big as normal and very hard with very little sensation if hit or pressed. There was a dull ache from the extra weight. The lesson being the symptoms can vary.


When your worried that you might have it you research a lot on the net and of course people who get cancer are far more likey to write accounts of their experiences then those whos trouble ended being something minor. This will make you a bit paranoid so remember chances are its not. Do however prepare a list of questions for all eventualities and bring it with you as when your in a consultants room you wont be given too much time.



My gp arranged for an appointment with a uroligist and an ultrascan. After a quick physical examination I was sent for a scan and from the muffled scraps of conversation between the doctor and the student I was suspicous the results werent good. I was then sent back to the uroligist who told me I had cancer and would need to have an operation to remove the left testicle.



Thankfully I had questions prepared as I wouldnt have had the presence of mind to think of what I needed to ask otherwise. As i was single at the time and regurally use a gym/pool changing rooms I enquired about and decided to get a fake silicone testical put in when I was going to get my operation.



A week later I was back in hospital for an orchidectomy. The procedure involves making an incision above your pubic hair line and having the testicle pushed up and out through it. I had a long chat with the anesthetist and the last thing I can remember him clearly saying was he couldnt remember anyone not having gone under by now. When I came round I was in an awful lot of pain. I would compare it to how i would have imagined the feeling of an elephant standing on your crotch. They gave me morphine, more morphine and some injections in my bottom. No affect. They called the anesthesist as they couldnt give me more without his say so and i got more morphine. All of a sudden there was no pain. I spent two days in the hospital with an unfortunate addiction to the Ross O'Caroll Kelly books a friend dropped up. This was a terrible mistake they are too good to put down but caused no end of laughter and due to the shaking an immense amount of pain.



You then have to decide on your treatment. There are 3 options:
Chemotherapy which would have been over kill for me as it had not spread beyond the testicle, radiation or surveillance. From my understanding surveillance meant 5 years of worry, scans and tests but less exposure to radiation so i decided to go with the surveillance.



The whole opposite sex thing is a bit tough to deal with for a while. I found I was very self conscious and put off sleeping with girls. This had the unforseen result that while still checking girls out I didnt really want to try anything on which seems to act as some sort of aphrodisiac to women. I was having more girls coming onto me in a month then I had in my entire life before that. I can say though that eventually I did have a couple of relationships and not one of the girls noticed the fake testical. Its four and a half years ago now and Im engaged so all worked out.



The first year or two are fairly hard as you can become a little bit of a hypocondriac, lot of bad sleeps, stress etc etc. It does get easier though and the cat scans less frequent. People who are well meaning will tell you its the best cancer to get, very treatable etc etc and this is all true. 95 percent survive but you will be worried about something happening your other testicle, hormone levels, fertility etc etc. All I can say is ive had no problems and most dont. Its fairly unstressful these days and the worst thing about it is im never able to hold down food after the injection given as part of a cat scan.


Testicular cancer's a bitch but theres plenty of things worse, for most after a period of time you will regain a normal life.