average recession wedding gift??

campo · 14-10-2011 02:20PM

Roar wrote: »

To be honest, if I'm going to a full wedding I'd be ashamed to go without at least €150 in a card, depending on how well I know the couple. I would have thought that was pretty standard?

Normally the amount I give would depend on how close I was to them would not give less then 50e though as this would normally at least cover my meal

BostonB · 14-10-2011 02:40PM

Roar wrote: »

To be honest, if I'm going to a full wedding I'd be ashamed to go without at least €150 in a card, depending on how well I know the couple. I would have thought that was pretty standard?

That might depend if you have 150 to give in the first place. A lot of people simply don't.

BostonB · 14-10-2011 02:49PM

gimmick wrote: »

This thread is about money isn't it? If I cannot afford to go to a wedding I do not go. Thats hardly rocket science is it? But yes, I am shallow and pathetic. To me, going to a wedding involves the present, the boozing, the accomadation etc.

Only if you think thats a fundamental of wedding. I was at one wedding where the couple do a lot of charity work. They expressly requested no gifts, and accommodation was self catering. They actually gave every guest a small personal gift. Money is only an issue if the couple make it so. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but there are many ways to have a wedding.

Its a real first world problem though.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrismenning/first-world-problems-told-through-stock-photos

campo · 14-10-2011 03:21PM

How would people feel if this was in the invite their sent

Because at first we lived in sin
We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you, would be swell
But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well

More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!

A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!

Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

Malari · 14-10-2011 03:33PM

campo wrote: »

How would people feel if this was in the invite their sent
Because at first we lived in sin
We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you, would be swell
But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well

More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!

A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!

Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

Nauseous. And this is coming from someone who would not want physical gifts if I got married.

whatdoicare · 14-10-2011 03:37PM

campo wrote: »

How would people feel if this was in the invite their sent
Because at first we lived in sin
We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you, would be swell
But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well

More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!

A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!

Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

Seems kind of cheesy - what with the part about wishes...
Also, pretty sure I don't believe in that God fellow so the living in sin part wouldn't be in it....so no, the poem just wouldn't work.

If someone sent it to me - I'd be "bleugh, did not want", as the living in sin part would lead me to picture them doing the nasty! After that I'd be like, fair enough, that's what I was going to do anyway.

sillysocks · 14-10-2011 03:38PM

We wanted cash but didn't put the request in invites or anything and I'd say about 70% of our presents were money rather than gifts. I think even if you ask you'll still always get some percentage of actual presents rather than money.

To be honest if I got a poem like that in an invite it would annoy me, and probably make me go and buy a present where I might have originally just given cash (always just give money when we go to weddings, amount varies depending on who's getting married)

30Min · 14-10-2011 03:51PM

Deleted User wrote: »

This is a joke right?

Why is it crass?

Oh its the height of crassness :P.......

eyescreamcone · 14-10-2011 03:59PM

Just hand over the cash.
It's a no brainer - no wondering what they like/would want.

They wan't cash.
Even if they don't tell you - they wan't cash.

How much is appropriate??
Anything less than €150 is unusual to my knowledge.

But you will find that people you think have plenty give a tiny present, and those who you think have nothing pull out all the stops.

I wouldn't like to turn up personally with less than €200...so I don't!

gimmick · 14-10-2011 04:20PM

If I saw the word "donation" or "contribution" or "suggested" on an invite, I'd be giving that party a miss.

Best way to not be vulgar about is is not mention anything on the invite and let people do as they please.

yawnstretch · 14-10-2011 04:27PM

gimmick wrote: »

If I saw the word "donation" or "contribution" or "suggested" on an invite, I'd be giving that party a miss.

Best way to not be vulgar about is is not mention anything on the invite and let people do as they please.

Yeah but some muppets earlier in the thread had a frickin "moral dilemma" with giving cash - like I want your junk filling up my house? What are the odds of you buying me something that I actually need or that matches my tastes? And what if its something I don't actually want - will you be offended when it's not on public display on the mantelpiece when you come to visit?

Weddings are expensive. No one has money to be throwing around. Give cash, or give a card.

Keep the junk.

campo · 14-10-2011 04:32PM

gimmick wrote: »

If I saw the word "donation" or "contribution" or "suggested" on an invite, I'd be giving that party a miss.

Best way to not be vulgar about is is not mention anything on the invite and let people do as they please.

You talk sense so going to take your advice and just let people do as they please

Cheers for all the feedback everyone

D3PO · 14-10-2011 04:35PM

campo wrote: »

How would people feel if this was in the invite their sent
Because at first we lived in sin
We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you, would be swell
But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well

More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!

A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!

Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

I have always given cash gifts when Ive gone to weddings but If I got that on an invite I would go out of my way to get a cliched gift like wine glasses or a picture frame. Hell I might even go get them a toaster

to put something like that in an invite is as distasteful as it gets.

D3PO · 14-10-2011 04:38PM

yawnstretch wrote: »

Yeah but some muppets earlier in the thread had a frickin "moral dilemma" with giving cash - like I want your junk filling up my house? What are the odds of you buying me something that I actually need or that matches my tastes? And what if its something I don't actually want - will you be offended when it's not on public display on the mantelpiece when you come to visit?

Weddings are expensive. No one has money to be throwing around. Give cash, or give a card.

Keep the junk.

your an absolute ass. If you dont want the gifts people give you donate them to a charity.

theres nothing junk about a present. the only think thats junk here is your attitude.

yawnstretch · 14-10-2011 04:40PM

D3PO wrote: »

your an absolute ass. If you dont want the gifts people give you donate them to a charity.

theres nothing junk about a present. the only think thats junk here is your attitude.

Nicely dodged the issue about people wanting to see their gifts when they visit! - Buying random crap is wasteful.

campo · 14-10-2011 04:41PM

D3PO wrote: »

your an absolute ass. If you dont want the gifts people give you donate them to a charity.

theres nothing junk about a present. the only think thats junk here is your attitude.

If I do get any presents that I dont need or what I am just going to stick them up on adverts.ie , could not donate to charity as charity starts at home

D3PO · 14-10-2011 04:45PM

campo wrote: »

If I do get any presents that I dont need or what I am just going to stick them up on adverts.ie , could not donate to charity as charity starts at home

thats fair enough aswell but to call them junk as the other poster did is a joke

yawnstretch · 14-10-2011 04:47PM

D3PO wrote: »

thats fair enough aswell but to call them junk as the other poster did is a joke

Sorry lads but that's what unused items are. Consumer culture has brainwashed ye.

D3PO · 14-10-2011 04:47PM

yawnstretch wrote: »

Nicely dodged the issue about people wanting to see their gifts when they visit! - Buying random crap is wasteful.

what are you waffling about. Nobody ever visits somebodies house searching to see where the gift they gave them is :rolleyes: try and justify yourself all you want.

Fact remains your atitude sticks.

yawnstretch · 14-10-2011 04:48PM

D3PO wrote: »

what are you waffling about. Nobody ever visits somebodies house searching to see where the gift they gave them is :rolleyes: try and justify yourself all you want.

Fact remains your atitude sticks.

They bloody well do.

D3PO · 14-10-2011 04:48PM

yawnstretch wrote: »

Sorry lads but that's what unused items are. Consumer culture has brainwashed ye.

maybe you should ask for a dictionary on your gift list. Unsued items do not equal junk.

ionapaul · 14-10-2011 04:50PM

Wow, is €150+ per couple really the average gift these days?!!! I was at a good friend's wedding recently and including a cheque for €100 with my card (me and GF of course) and thought this would be bang on average...

yawnstretch · 14-10-2011 04:51PM

D3PO wrote: »

maybe you should ask for a dictionary on your gift list. Unsued items do not equal junk.

Lol you're the one who cant spell and you also don't know the difference between your and you're.

campo · 14-10-2011 04:54PM

ionapaul wrote: »

Wow, is €150+ per couple really the average gift these days?!!! I was at a good friend's wedding recently and including a cheque for €100 with my card (me and GF of course) and thought this would be bang on average...

Agree with this 50e each should be plenty

D3PO · 14-10-2011 04:58PM

yawnstretch wrote: »

Lol you're the one who cant spell and you also don't know the difference between your and you're.

its a good tactic deflect from your stinking attitude. :rolleyes:

the good news for you is your wife will probably realise this eventually and then you can go find somebody new and get a whole lot of new "junk" for your second wedding :rolleyes::rolleyes:

eyescreamcone · 14-10-2011 05:00PM

ionapaul wrote: »

Wow, is €150+ per couple really the average gift these days?!!! I was at a good friend's wedding recently and including a cheque for €100 with my card (me and GF of course) and thought this would be bang on average...

campo wrote: »

Agree with this 50e each should be plenty

Well... €100 IS on the low side.
The average would be between 150 and 200.

Now you know!

D3PO · 14-10-2011 05:00PM

ionapaul wrote: »

Wow, is €150+ per couple really the average gift these days?!!! I was at a good friend's wedding recently and including a cheque for €100 with my card (me and GF of course) and thought this would be bang on average...

there is no such thing as average to be fair. Personally myself and the other half give €200 but then again were probably in a better position financially than others.

give what you can afford. It thats nothing then thats ok. You rnot being invited as a cash cow and if you are and you fall out with the person as a result frankly yo have had a lucky escape. Because nobody needs ignorant greedy friends like that.

TonyStark · 14-10-2011 05:02PM

campo wrote: »

Agree with this 50e each should be plenty

I think it's pretty crass to expect a couple starting out in married life to pay for a meal for someone attending the wedding. At the very least pay for what you eat..otherwise you will be gossiped about and branded a skinflint. If you can't afford to at least do this don't go.

On the other side of the coin giving something non cash as a present is a tried and trusted method of off loading some boxed up bit of junk that's gathering dust in your attic.

14-10-2011 05:06PM

You cant win

If people say "no presents just presence" they are accused of being patronising

If people say "cash only" they are accused of being money grabbing

which points to the obvious - when it comes to a wedding people don't like being told what to or what not to give

There are no correct answers because every couple is different, if you know the couple well enough you gain a sense of what would be an appropriate "gift" cash or other, to give to them, (if circumstances allow) as a heartfelt gesture to mark the celebration of their marraige.

And if you are lucky enough you will be invited to the wedding of a couple that are grateful for anything they get, so what if you get five toasters? one is not going to last forever, its handy to have replacements.

If these people are true friends they will be grateful for no matter how big/small/bizzare the token they recieve from their guests.

eyescreamcone · 14-10-2011 05:07PM

D3PO wrote: »

there is no such thing as average to be fair.

To be fair...of course there is such a thing!!!

Calculating the average is the difficult part.
From my experience, of my own wedding and attending a lot of other weddings recently I would think that the average value gift is between 150 and 200.

Some will give less, some will give more.
Hence... the average!!!

average recession wedding gift??

Comments