Bertie Ahern is on my flight

Mountjoy Mugger · 12-10-2011 10:34AM

Where were ye coming from - Manchester?

Einhard · 12-10-2011 10:35AM

Saila wrote: »

shake your fist

Didn't a Cork dj get arrested for doing that on a plane recently?

Not sure how it would affect Bertie though, unless the OP was sitting beside/on him at the time!:pac:

steamsey · 12-10-2011 10:57AM

I saw Bertie as well back in mid September of this year. I was waiting at the gate for a Dublin - JFK flight with Aer Lingus and they called for those who need more time, those with kids and business class passengers to board. Bertie appeared out of nowhere waving his business class boarding card. He was the first person to board the flight. He laughing away with some other guy who was with him. The whole gate was staring at him and you could feel the tension - I was waiting for someone to shout something, but no one did. Then he went through and you could actually feel the moment passing.

I felt bad that I didn't say anything, but if you heckle strangers in the airport, you are unlikely to be allowed to board. I can only assume that everyone else at the gate felt the same way.

That said - one comment would probably have gotten the ball rolling - it would have been great.

RonMexico · 12-10-2011 11:04AM

Should have passed a bag of vomit up to him and said it was a little digout.

Mr Benevolent · 12-10-2011 11:21AM

Blast him with piss, hijack the plane, go up to 30000 feet, depressurise and boot him out. Time it so he lands on Enda.

the groutch · 12-10-2011 11:22AM

steal his passport, hopefully they won't let him back into the country

markesmith · 12-10-2011 11:25AM

Perform a citizen's arrest

goose2005 · 12-10-2011 12:11PM

shag his bird in the plane toilet

Mal-Adjusted · 12-10-2011 12:18PM

hmm...FaceKicker, have you any suggestions?

Galtee · 12-10-2011 12:19PM

Ask him if he has any tips for todays horseracing?

CrazyRabbit · 12-10-2011 12:30PM

Sit beside him. If the plane crashes, he'll walk away unscathed as he always does. So stick close to him if the plane starts taking a dive.

Badgermonkey · 12-10-2011 12:30PM

Was on a flight to Heathrow with John O'Donoghue some time back.

We all boarded the bus to whisk us between terminals, by which time big John had completely vanished.

Lumbo · 12-10-2011 12:44PM

You should have opened a newspaper. Found the story about the Quinn's ripping the country off. Handed the paper to him and said "Here's another story about your mates".

Jimmy444 · 12-10-2011 01:44PM

A pity Gerard Depardieu was not on the flight. He would have known what to do!

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2011/0818/1224302639122.html

Fighting Irish · 12-10-2011 02:25PM

Ask him why he made most of the country spend too much money, and over extend themselves?

Son Of A Vidic · 12-10-2011 02:40PM

Sam Vimes wrote: »

I actually did speak to him just before boarding. We passed each other in the hall and I nodded to him and said 'Bertie'. But I could tell that he knew I really meant 'You miserable cnut! May all your endeavours end in failure'

How ridiculous is that? Why would you even greet him when you clearly can't stand him? At least give him the finger to communicate what you really feel ffs.

the purple tin · 12-10-2011 02:41PM

Buy a bottle of duty free vodka, knock it back as fast as you can and time it so you puke all over him as your walking past his seat.
Do it at the start of the flight so he has to sit there covered in it for longer

DoneDL · 12-10-2011 02:43PM

Shake his hand and tell him your`e his biggest fan. That will scare the sh*t out of him.

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 02:49PM

Lord Trollington wrote: »

As a matter of interest where are you flying to and with what Airline.

I call bullsh*t on this thread to be honest.

It was an Etihad flight from Abu Dhabi to Dublin and here's the side of the man's head:
[url=https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/44959/177773.jpg[/url]

Wattle · 12-10-2011 02:57PM

Tell him you've lost everything because of people like him and then ask him to help you commit suicide.

retalivity · 12-10-2011 03:05PM

ask him if he was learning more despotic techniques in the middle east that he can use when he becomes supreme commander of ireland

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 03:08PM

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

How ridiculous is that? Why would you even greet him when you clearly can't stand him? At least give him the finger to communicate what you really feel ffs.

He totally caught me by surprise tbh. I walked around a corner and there he was walking the other way around the corner. I had a split second.

My lack of attempted murder is indefensible though

spurious · 12-10-2011 03:10PM

Sam Vimes wrote: »

It was an Etihad flight from Abu Dhabi to Dublin and here's the side of the man's head:
<snip>

He doesn't look as orange as I remember him. Times must be hard that the tanfastic sessions had to go.

Galtee · 12-10-2011 03:12PM

Sam Vimes wrote: »

It was an Etihad flight from Abu Dhabi to Dublin and here's the side of the man's head:
https://us.v-cdn.net/6034073/uploads/attachments/44959/177773.jpg

OMG, the blonde girl in the photo is my wife, she's supposed to be at home with the kids :eek:

Chuck Stone · 12-10-2011 03:16PM

I think I might have been able to shout something while disembarking.

HEY BERTIE...

Yes?

Nothing.

Kasabian · 12-10-2011 03:16PM

Galtee wrote: »

OMG, the blonde girl in the photo is my wife, she's supposed to be at home with the kids :eek:

It's alright it isn't her, she is here with me.

Kids are asking if I am their real Dad.

Awkward.

Galtee · 12-10-2011 03:26PM

Kasabian wrote: »

It's alright it isn't her, she is here with me.

Kids are asking if I am their real Dad.

Awkward.

Don't you mean brother? And the answer is no, you're adopted!

Dotrel · 12-10-2011 03:30PM

Too late now but your could have run up and down the aisles screaming: "There's a bum on the plane! There's a bum on the plane! "

donvito99 · 12-10-2011 03:39PM

Sam Vimes wrote: »

business class

What airlines have business class anymore?! :rolleyes:

Fighting Irish · 12-10-2011 03:46PM

Wattle wrote: »

Tell him you've lost everything because of people like him and then ask him to help you commit suicide.

:rolleyes:

He was my taoiseach too and i lost nothing and have no debt!

Bertie Ahern is on my flight

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