Bertie Ahern is on my flight

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 07:42AM #1

I'm currently taxiing into Dublin Airport (yeah yeah I know I shouldn't have my phone on yet) and Bertie Ahern is on the flight, up in business class of course.

I have about 15 minutes before we pull in and he's gone so what do AH?

cocoshovel · 12-10-2011 07:44AM

Call him a scumbag.

I-Shot-Jr · 12-10-2011 07:47AM

Tell everyone you saw him touching himself and making lewd gestures at air hostesses. Tell the news too.

geeky · 12-10-2011 07:48AM

B.H.W.T.

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 07:49AM

I-Shot-Jr wrote: »

Tell everyone you saw him touching himself and making lewd gestures at air hostesses. Tell the news too.

And I'm sure I could get half the plane to corroborate the story

PG4000 · 12-10-2011 07:50AM

Ask him if he has a lend of a tenner and promise to pay him back - but don't.

That'll teach him

galwayrush · 12-10-2011 08:00AM

Be happy OP knowing that you probably helped pay for his flights and expenses through your taxes....;)

Uriel. · 12-10-2011 08:06AM

Just get off the plane when the doors are open, walk to border control, show your passport, go to the baggage collection, collect your bag and leave the Airport and continue you on to home or wherever you are going.

What else would you be doing? You're not going to say or do anything to Bertie and in anycase why would you?

Get on with your day and your life

GavRedKing · 12-10-2011 08:06AM

Tap him on the shoulder, smile, punch him in the throat.

MagicMarker · 12-10-2011 08:08AM

The situation seems pretty clear cut.

Hijack the plane, bring it back up to 30,000 feet and throw him out the fúcking door.

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 08:10AM

Uriel. wrote: »

Just get off the plane when the doors are open, walk to border control, show your passport, go to the baggage collection, collect your bag and leave the Airport and continue you on to home or wherever you are going.

What else would you be doing? You're not going to say or do anything to Bertie and in anycase why would you?

Get on with your day and your life

I actually did speak to him just before boarding. We passed each other in the hall and I nodded to him and said 'Bertie'. But I could tell that he knew I really meant 'You miserable cnut! May all your endeavours end in failure'

galwayrush · 12-10-2011 08:10AM

MagicMarker wrote: »

The situation seems pretty clear cut.

Hijack the plane, bring it back up to 30,000 feet and throw him out the fúcking door.

Yeah, because forget about trying to get a ransom for the fecker.

Crazy Horse 6 · 12-10-2011 08:10AM

Are criminals allowed in business class?

phasers · 12-10-2011 08:10AM

as if you'd actually speak to him.

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 08:12AM

MagicMarker wrote: »

The situation seems pretty clear cut.

Hijack the plane, bring it back up to 30,000 feet and throw him out the fúcking door.

I did try to arrange a posse but everyone was engrossed in Transformers on the in flight entertainment

im invisible · 12-10-2011 08:13AM

So, what did you do OP?

Sam Vimes · 12-10-2011 08:18AM

im invisible wrote: »

So, what did you do OP?

Other than my greeting that was dripping with obvious malevolent intent, I wussed out

I'm sorry AH, I promise I'll do better next time. I've been watching Dexter recently and it has some really useful ideas for how to deal with someone like that

Napper Hawkins · 12-10-2011 08:19AM

He did nowt. That's what the Irish do best and why Bertie won't have a sleepless night til the day he dies because he knows the Irish are cowards.

up for anything · 12-10-2011 08:19AM

Why would people find it so difficult to believe that Sam wouldn't walk up to him/past him, look him in the eye and say, "You sir, are a business class wanker" and walk away with his dignity intact.

On the other hand I would be dragged away by airport police, kicking and screaming abuse at him because I've learned that my bitterness overrides my natural sense of courtesy and good manners and about time too.

Plazaman · 12-10-2011 08:26AM

The best course of action of course would have been to catch up to him and just say "All the best Mr Haughey" thus comparing him to another crook and also leaving him to think that he has gone from Taoiseach to now a person who's name is forgettable and this will leave him so despondant he will take off to his favourite pub for the afternoon and drink gallons of Bass and then decide to top himself by jumping into the Liffey taking two skangers with him as anchors to weigh him down. A missed opportunity OP.

krudler · 12-10-2011 08:36AM

steal his in flight peanuts screaming "I'm reclaiming these for Ireland!" that'll show him.

mconigol · 12-10-2011 08:40AM

Obviously you should have had a whip around among the other passengers and presented it to him as you were getting off.

It's kinda odd how people feel embarrassed saying something to him considering the neck on him!

Fizman · 12-10-2011 08:40AM

You should have somehow altered the passenger manifest, and scribbled out his name. He would have been in a truck load of trouble then I tell ya.

Failing that, you should have jizzed into your hand, and go over to shake his.

Gummy Panda · 12-10-2011 08:49AM

Should've thrown your shoe at him while calling him a dog

Saila · 12-10-2011 10:04AM

shake your fist

Lord Trollington · 12-10-2011 10:24AM

As a matter of interest where are you flying to and with what Airline.

I call bullsh*t on this thread to be honest.

JerryHandbag · 12-10-2011 10:26AM

Snake On A Plane

Einhard · 12-10-2011 10:28AM

Sam Vimes wrote: »

I did try to arrange a posse but everyone was engrossed in Transformers on the in flight entertainment

With Transformers as in-flight entertainment, I'd say he'd be thankful if you hijacked the plane and threw him out the door at 30 000 feet!

s_gr · 12-10-2011 10:29AM

should have punched the head off the ff wanker!!!

RobAMerc · 12-10-2011 10:33AM

it doesn't matter what you did or called him the deluded little prick would think you were the odd one out and that everyone else loves him so much he'll be crowned God of Ireland before long !

Yawlboy · 12-10-2011 10:34AM

you should have asked him why he wasn't running for president

Bertie Ahern is on my flight

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