How would you feel if your child was gay?

billybudd · 09-10-2011 06:01PM

Batsy wrote: »

I wouldn't want any gay children. I'd want them to be normal.

You first.

Dudess · 09-10-2011 06:02PM

Batsy wrote: »

I wouldn't want any gay children. I'd want them to be normal.

Must be like Christmas for you - you've a golden opportunity to mouth off about the "wishy-washy liberal PC do-gooders" as if that's a really clever, original way of wording things... when it's anything but.

beagle001 · 09-10-2011 06:05PM

I would do the same to them that I would do to any injured or abnormal animal.

billybudd · 09-10-2011 06:09PM

beagle001 wrote: »

I would do the same to them that I would do to any injured or abnormal animal.

Having a migraine as a brain must hurt alot.:rolleyes:

efb · 09-10-2011 06:09PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufbexgPyeJQ

starbelgrade · 09-10-2011 06:10PM

beagle001 wrote: »

I would do the same to them that I would do to any injured or abnormal animal.

I'm sure you know quite a lot about abnormalities.

Dudess · 09-10-2011 06:11PM

oranbhoy67 wrote: »

Not at all. im giving a straight answer to a straight question on how i feel on such a topic.. i could lie & say " oh it makes no diffrence to me he`ll always be my kid etc etc"... truth is .. that as a parent you want your child to follow in the same path as you & as human beings we are put here on earth to mate with the opposite sex & reproduce if possible in a normal healthy sexual relationship & thats what i want for my child.

You don't speak (thankfully) for all parents/would-be parents - and a lot of people have a much broader, more intelligent view of what constitutes a normal healthy sexual relationship.

KeithM89_old · 09-10-2011 06:11PM

beagle001 wrote: »

I would do the same to them that I would do to any injured or abnormal animal.

Banned

christina_x · 09-10-2011 06:13PM

I don't honestly think it would bother me!
I'd worry that they would face discrimination, because it is still in existence, but I think i'd be just fine with it.
They havn't hurt anybody, in fact, they'll hopefully make somebody very happy, so how can that be wrong?

Latchy · 09-10-2011 06:13PM

beagle001 wrote: »

I would do the same to them that I would do to any injured or abnormal animal.

No you wouldn't , it's 2011 now ... not 1951 .

ZombieBride · 09-10-2011 07:22PM

I don't want to know what my kids do in their bedroom (ewwww! That's like thinking that your parents had sex!) as long as they are with someone who respects them and is legal, then alls good.

TylerIE · 09-10-2011 07:47PM

hondasam wrote: »

not happy is not the same as disappointed and I'm not angry.

You have decided I'm not compassionate or caring enough for my sig, I have changed it.

Not happy is political speak for unhappy. Unhappy is not a good answer for gay children.

It's unfortunate my decision means that much to you - perhaps instead of changing your signature you could have re-evaluated your views and acceptance of those who are not hetrosexual?

you can sit there and judge me all you want, this thread was not about suicide. This is my last post on this subject.

This thread was about parental acceptance of gay or lesbian children. A superficial look at that topic brings up rejection, hurt and subsequent suicides. I could give only one link as uncontested evidence, but am aware of so so many more.

In case anyone feelss Im being a heartless ******* labouring the point I do so only because I know and have seen it first hand, and dont want anybody thinking that by denying it happens it wont happen.

TylerIE · 09-10-2011 07:59PM

billybudd wrote: »

Isnt it though? a percentage of people choose not to be gay! even though they have those tendencies.

They are still gay though. A significant percentage choose to ignore it. Many anonymous studies find around 10% of people being gay/lesbian/bi. Yet even UK Census figures etc often report only 1-5%. Probably half of the gay people I know in Ireland wouldnt have acknowledged this in the census if there had been such a question.

Most that I know in that boat dont do very well later in life. Some, as I mentioned earlier, turn to alcohol, drugs, rentboys, etc and ultimately separation or divorce. Some have obsessional relationships - they must always have a girlfriend and their world breaks down if they dont. Often they over compensate by talking (Bragging) about their sex lives excessively or even trying to have a tonne of kids.

If your referring to those who undergo therapy to change - the long and short of it is it doesnt work. Many dont have same sex encounters, all bar one in a study of "success stories" by one of the groups running such therapy, still had same sex fantasies. Many didnt act on them but obviously they werent quite committed to their wives 100% if they were fantasizing about other fellas.

efb · 09-10-2011 08:48PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOESpIz8Mjg

I take it this has been done...

efb · 09-10-2011 09:07PM

an aside, Milk is on RTÉ2 now.

Mike 1972 · 09-10-2011 10:42PM

TylerIE wrote: »

Many anonymous studies find around 10% of people being gay/lesbian/bi. Yet even UK Census figures etc often report only 1-5%. .

The UK census does not include a question on sexual orientation.

In any case I dont see how it matters a flying fiddlers whether 0.001% or 99.999% of the population are gay.

TylerIE wrote: »

Probably half of the gay people I know in Ireland wouldnt have acknowledged this in the census if there had been such a question. .

Quite a lot of the straight people I know wouldnt answer such a question either.

Its none of the Governments gawdamn business.

TylerIE · 09-10-2011 10:44PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

The UK census does not include a question on sexual orientation.

In any case I dont see how it matters a flying fiddlers whether 0.001% or 99.999% of the population are gay

Apologies it was the Office of National Statistics - the second biggest compiler of statistical data after the Census office.

It matters as its not just something that affects someone else, or someone elses children. If you have ten grandchildren, one of them is likely to be gay? Do you love all your grandchildren equally?

Re hetrosexuals not acknowledging it - they actually would if they filled in their surveys - and often they are by definition when they are married or indicate that someone else of the opposite gender is their partner in a survey it stands that they are hetrosexual. Its important for the government to know facts on such matters as it allows them to know how many people are actually in same relationships or would benefit from marriage equality. Just as its important and useful for the government to know what % of the population are Christian, etc.

Mike 1972 · 09-10-2011 10:56PM

TylerIE wrote: »

Its important for the government to know facts on such matters as it allows them to know how many people are actually in same relationships or would benefit from marriage equality. Just as its important and useful for the government to know what % of the population are Christian, etc.

What utter tosh.

The government should treat its citizens equally because its the right thing to do. The number of people who would actually benefit is pretty irrelevent.

TylerIE · 09-10-2011 11:02PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

What utter tosh.

The government should treat its citizens equally because its the right thing to do. The number of people who would actually benefit is pretty irrelevent.

I agree they should treat people equally.

However, as shown in the Proposition 8 trial in the US, the numbers of people affected by leglislation is important in terms of budgeting.

It was shown there by (IIRC) The Financial Controller for one City (San Francisco I think) that allowing same sex marriage had a huge positive effect on the State.

Its reasonable for the Government to want to know how many people would be affected by LGBT Marriage in Ireland - tax take would probably stay the same (both would probably be working), health may increase (married couples live longer), there would probably be a decrease in social welfare payments (jobseekers allowance is means tested and UK figures - perhaps surprisingly - show same sex couples having higher than average incomes), etc, etc.

Mike 1972 · 09-10-2011 11:05PM

TylerIE wrote: »

Its reasonable for the Government to want to know how many people would be affected by LGBT Marriage in Ireland

NEWSFLASH: Not all Gay people actually want to *get married.

* As distinct from wanting the RIGHT to get married.

TylerIE · 09-10-2011 11:08PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

NEWSFLASH: Not all Gay people actually want to *get married.

* As distinct from wanting the RIGHT to get married.

I know... Im pro equality.

San Francisco was examining the maximum POTENTIAL consequences. Its still reasonable for the State to want figures in order to be able to plan for any potential consequences. Its also good to show the vocal minority who oppose equality, that its not just a tiny minority of LGB people who are affected.

Giselle · 10-10-2011 12:20AM

If I had a kid who came to me and told me they were gay I'd...

a) Be glad they knew themselves well enough, and didn't try hide from it, and...

b) Be glad and proud that they were secure enough to tell me instead of worrying that I'd be 'disappointed' in them, and...

c) Be slightly worried that life might be more difficult for them, and selfishly worried that I'd never be a granny. But I'd recognise those as MY problems, and get over them.

Bannasidhe · 10-10-2011 12:29AM

TylerIE wrote: »

So a human beings main purpose on earth is to mate & reproduce?
What about single people? What about those who dont mate? Are their lives wasted?

And you say a "Normal healthy sexual relationship"? Il let normal slide as Il assume you mean its the type of relationship the majority engage in. Its perfectly normal for gay people to have gay relationships.

However "healthy" - if one has a son who has a relationship with another man theres no reason for that to be unhealthy? In fact its perfectly health for gay people to have sex with other gay men? (assuming safe sex unless in long term committed relationship, just like hetrosexual people).

So what is the purpose of celibate clergy?

Sir Gallagher · 10-10-2011 01:45AM

I'd prefer a straight son, just so i can bring him for his first lapdance in Liverpool after watching the match that day, just like my father did for me.

On the other hand if he turned out gay i'd just as soon bring him for a game of bingo in The George. I fcking love bingo.

Sonics2k · 10-10-2011 01:48AM

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

I'd prefer a straight son, just so i can bring him for his first lapdance in Liverpool after watching the match that day, just like my father did for me.

On the other hand if he turned out gay i'd just as soon bring him for a game of bingo in The George. I fcking love bingo.

To be fair, you could still take him for a lapdance. It just may not feature the people you were quite expecting :pac:

Blatter · 10-10-2011 01:55AM

Sonics2k wrote: »

To be fair, you could still take him for a lapdance. It just may not feature the people you were quite expecting :pac:

Ah come on now. Accepting it is one thing, putting thoughts of that sort into our heads is quite another. :pac:

Sir Gallagher · 10-10-2011 01:55AM

Sonics2k wrote: »

To be fair, you could still take him for a lapdance. It just may not feature the people you were quite expecting :pac:

Nah it has to be tits, i'm basically going to use him as an excuse to go to a stripclub in my 50's.

thebman · 10-10-2011 02:54AM

Shock followed by desire to support followed by sarcastic homophobic jokes and stopping searching the browser history to see what they've been looking up online

TerrorFirmer · 10-10-2011 05:28AM

Truthfully I'd be 100% supportive. This isn't a lifestyle 'choice' as it's portrayed, it's the way people are born. They can't help it, why people would berate them for that is totally beyond me.

10-10-2011 09:04AM

willmunny1990 wrote: »

Why? First of all for selfish reasons. I would love to be a grandfather one day and would find it hard to accept of being deprived that aspiration.

Secondly, I think gay people are unfortunately still heavily discriminated against in life

I think these are the two main reasons most parents would cite if their children turned out gay. The reduced chance of them ever having children, and the hardships their life would face.

Thankfully the number who would be upset for homophobic and/or religious reasons seems to be relatively small.

In my own situation - where I have ended up in a full relationship with two girls and we now have one daughter already - the parents clearly did not have the "grandparent" issue to be worried about.

Their fear for the discrimination their two daughters might undergo for being with me - and for being sexual with each other - was palpable though and it took a long time for them to accept both me and the situation. 7 years together now and I really only started feeling they had accepted the whole thing around the middle of year 4.

At the end of the day parents want what is best for their children. Homosexuality is just one of the things that can make parents fear their children will end up unhappy or worse. Give most parents time though and they see you are who you are and you are happy... and they come around in the end.

Were my own children to come out gay I would of course share the same concerns for their happiness but otherwise their sexuality would not bother me.

How would you feel if your child was gay?

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