The most Irish thing I've seen lately

Tiocfaidh Armani wrote: »

I get what you're saying but it's all about the context. If it's some Brit limey saying it then yeah it's an arse of a thing to say but it's Irish folk laughing at the little things that you would only get in Ireland so it's a bit of a laugh. Lighten up;)

What would you like?

O'Hanlan sat in the cafe and perused the menu. Then he called the waitress and said:

'I don't want a set-price meal, can you do separate orders?'

'Yes sir,' said the waitress. 'What would you like?'

'Well,' said O'Hanlan, 'how much is two boiled eggs?'

Two boiled eggs is £1.50 sir,' was the reply.

'And how much is one boiled egg?' he asked.

'One boiled egg is £1, sir,' muttered the waitress impatiently.

'Well, then,' said O'Hanlan, 'I'll have the other
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Lost in the desert

The Clancy brothers, lost in deepest Sahara, cut off from the rest of the legionnaires, had been crawling across the desert for hours. The heat was unbearable. The glare blinding, the water was gone and their hopes of rescue were diminishing by the second.

'Do you know,' said Peter. 'I've just remembered something.'

'What's that?'asked Paul.

'Well,' said his brother, 'today is 24 June - it's Ballybunion fair day.'

'Sure and haven't they got lovely weather for it,' said Paul.
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Lost in the store

'Follow the written instructions and you can't get lost in the building,' said the security man to Sean Flynn freshly up from the country and looking around a major Dublin store for the first time.

Awe-struck, young Flynn made his way around the building. But, all too soon, he returned, slightly dejected, to the security man.

'Look,' said Sean, 'I've tried my best. The door marked 'Push' I pushed.

The door marked 'Pull' I pulled. But when I got to the big door that said 'Lift' -I couldn't get it off the floor!'
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In the Blitz

The two Kerrymen were wending their way home from the pub in London's East End. The Blitz was at its height with German bombers overhead every night.

"Tis a terrible time to be in London,' said Pat. 'With no defence against the terrible air raids.'

'Sure it was, until now,' said Mick. 'Now of course they've found the answer. That's it up in the sky -barrage balloons!'

Mick pointed to the massive inflated objects hovering over the city on guide wires.

'You see,' he explained, 'the German planes come over and bump into the balloons and are destroyed.'

'But surely,' argued Pat, 'when the planes hit them the balloons will burst.'

'Indeed not,' said Mick. 'You see, the balloons are full of concrete.'

Batsy wrote: »

What would you like?

Nah, racist jokes aren't for me.

curlzy wrote: »

Wow, After Hours really has gone sh*te, you can't even laugh at yourself or it's called racisit.:(

It's us laughing at ourselves though, it's someone English coming away with the thick Paddy jokes that make it racist. It's a bit like how if I called a black man the 'N' word it's racist, yet black men calls themselves it no bother. Well in America anyway.

Tiocfaidh Armani wrote: »

You having a laugh? You telling me the men who fought in Ireland, India and Kenya etc were dying for freedom and democracy? They were fighting to deny countries their freedom.

WWII I grant you. But Britain's conquests around the world were not them fighting for US! Jeez-oh there is some gullible people out there who just lap up propaganda....

I don't care about your opinions. Your opinions are wrong.

And you can whinge all you like about Remembrance Sunday. It isn't going anywhere. It'll still be around long after you've gone. In a few weeks' time I'll be wearing my poppy with pride.

Anyway, the most Irish thing I see (or, rather, hear) is when Irish people (who can't pronounce the two "th" sounds) say "turd" instead of "third."

Batsy wrote: »

You have no qualms with being anti-English, though.

Not at all, I criticise your nations rampage around the world denying people their right to freedom. It's like saying me criticising Saddam Hussein's rampage into Kuwait in 1990 was being anti-Iraqi.

Anyway, the most Irish thing I see (or, rather, hear) is when Irish people (who can't pronounce the two "th" sounds) say "turd" instead of "third."

The amount of birds I've rode because of that is unreal:D

Tiocfaidh Armani wrote: »

Britain clings on to WWII as some sort of justification and cleansing all their other conflicts when they denied other countries their freedom under your 'empire'. Wear what you like, I wear my Lilly at Easter with pride, now they were fighting for me:)

I'm proud of the British Empire. This world would be a much better place today if the British Empire was still around.