Dragon's Den - After Hours Edition.

RichieC · 23-09-2011 04:31PM

Beehive antfarm... lets face it, ants are Rubbish, I mean they are strong and and rugged but boring to watch.

Now for the first time, the Beehive antfarm is available in the Republic of Ireland. It comes in a sleek glass sphere or the elegant rectangle glass tank.

If kept in the correct light and temperature conditions your bees can last from 8 to 10 weeks AND GET THIS! Two, yes I said TWO free bee refills with every purchase, with free delivery!

Bee types? we have most of them! Bumblers, Those smaller bumblebees with less colour, Honeybees, africanised Honeybees AND exclusive new release, a Red Arse hive, these normally solitary bees will fight to the death in their Antfarm beehive for your amusement!

Order now.

Product not yet endorsed by the The Federation of Irish Beekeepers.

Solnskaya · 23-09-2011 04:32PM

"Fire-Pal"- the one call does all arson service.
In these recessionary times, we all have those annoying commitments and assets that seemed like such a great idea but are now just a pain in the hole. That jeep she moaned for a month about wanting, that pub you bought because it seemed like a good idea and the bank foolishly listened. That house you signed your life away for that looked so nice when it was all fresh and new, but now has green stuff on the gutters and the walls are cracking away from the windows.
Don't worry, just call 1800-Fire-pal. One quick call and a trained operative will call at an unsociable hour to simulate a fuel leak and unfortunate electrical fault and whoosh, your troubles are over. Discrete(very, obviously), fast(our operatives all wear nike air max's) and no embarrasing/traceable paperwork to complete, just call Fire-pal(from a phone box obviously) and all your problems will just be a smouldering memory.
I am seeking €50,000 for 10% of my company, and will be happy to answer all of your questions, just no smart-ars5d ones, or you will get our free demo package which includes a simulated burglary(usually €199.99 extra) and our "they gave me an awful hiding altogether Gard" package(usually €350.00). Thank you for your time, any questions?:cool:

flahavaj · 23-09-2011 04:38PM

The Mobile Phone Breathalyser. Blow once into a small removeable device that attaches to your phone. If you're above a certain limit the phone instantly dies until morning, preventing you from sending those cringe worthy texts to your ex that normally follow a bellyfull of beer.:pac:

Raiser · 23-09-2011 04:50PM

BeerBarrow - Its a wheelbarrow filled with cans of wholesome beer and freeezing ice. Its self-contained and portable from the shop aisle to its perfect spot beside your couch. Its needs nothing added except your willingness to sample its cold, alcoholic delights.

- Typical scenario:

Darling please go to the shop and buy milk, bread, nappies.

Husband returns whistling merrily and pushing a hefty BeerBarrow.

- Wife slips into something a little more comfortable.

Husband slips into wife.

Solnskaya · 23-09-2011 04:55PM

Just to flesh out my pitch for the Incredible "Fire-pal tm", to further investor interest, we intend to activly franchise our business model across Ireland and the Uk. Interested franchisees (and we feel there will be a lot of people, especially in Dublin, Limerick, Waterford and Cork who wish to become franchise holders) will receive an attractive package which includes a Fire-palpack(gallon can, zippo, a pair of Nike Air Max, pay as you go Tesco mobile, the number of a good local solicitor, latex gloves and a Fire-pal branded hoodie) as well as the attractive option of subscribing to our " Firepal franchise plustm" which includes our gold option of a pay-off to the local Gardai to ensure uninterrupted earning opportunities plus the number of a good local electrician who doesn't ask any awkward questions.

sdanseo · 23-09-2011 04:59PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A new range of flavoured condoms. The flavours would be salt and vinegar, smokey bacon, cheese and onion etc. We could set up a joint venture with tayto.

They could come free in packets of crisps.

Martyn1989 · 23-09-2011 05:01PM

c_man wrote: »

My product: A bottle bin for blue coloured bottles.

I'm never sure which one to throw them into. This would solve all sorts of confusion across the country (especially for big Harveys Bristol Cream drinkers).

I want E250,000 for 10% of my company.

Theres no such thing as a big Harveys Bristol Cream drinker

Raiser · 23-09-2011 05:09PM

The irritating Child IQ Test Kit.

Are you sick of listening to your sister, neighbour, work colleague or friend wittering on about how wonderfully clever and talented smarmy son Simon or darling daughter Dolores is? You know they're just snot-nosed little irritants but can't well say it......

Well then - Why not simply test them so you can prove it?

The irritating Child IQ Test Kit contains everything you need to convince those around you that their "Wonder Child" is an annoying, painful dullard who will never amount to anything using the genius of Rotoblat psychometric IQ evaluation.

Now you can mutter "the kids a fcuking Dope" with the weight of science behind you and better still cannot be blamed for the disappointing results either - We suggest you mutter comments about Mammy smoking and abusing drugs/alcohol during pregnancy to further deflect any unwanted criticism of your actions.

Thrill · 23-09-2011 05:19PM

Whose-fart-alyzer.

Now that smoking is banned from pubs, the foul smell of flatulence is easier to detect. Unfortunately, the culprit is still difficult to spot, giving you no chance to look disgustedly at the perpetrator so you wont be mistaken as the owner of the vomit inducing smell.

Meet the Whose-fart-alyzer.

Simply point is at your prime suspect and the Whose-fart-alyzer will analyze the persons breath and, using a secret patented process, will tell you if your target is the the one responsible. If he is, then an alarm will sound, alerting everyone to the true owner of the rectal gases, leaving you in the clear.

Note: Be sure to test it on yourself first, in silent mode, as you may have unknowingly let one go.

1 million for a 20% share of the company.

--LOS-- · 23-09-2011 07:31PM

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

A real life ignore button so you can ignore people you don't like in real life. It won't actually be a button of course, instead it will be a baseball bat with ignore written on it.

....but reversed so it leaves the message imprinted :cool:

FlutterinBantam · 23-09-2011 07:47PM

Raiser wrote: »

Basically you pitch your business idea as you would on the TV show and People can then analyse it and decide whether or not to invest based on its genius merits or unfortunate flaws - simples.

I'll get the ball rolling.......

Steriandle - An extra handle fitted on Toilet Doors for use only by People who have washed their hands!

You see them frequently in the pub, hotels, restaurants etc. - Filthy Gobshítes scrotum-scavenging, peeing all over their grubby hands, arsé-picking etc. and then by passing the washbasins and straight back out the door. You then wash your hands of course but you then have to use the same filthy, fecal, pubed-up handle :eek:

My Company aims to retro fit every toilet door on the Planet with a Steriandle situated 6 inches above the existing one - Profits are going to be immense, this is one of my last remaining days on this Earth not coked to the gills and chugging Champagne.

I'm looking for an investment of 50,000 and guaranteeing 2% of Global revenue for 5 years.

Small print - If you choose to take part in this thread you are assumed to have agreed to the following. If an idea born here subsequently becomes a commercial success then you are legally obliged to pay me 10% of all profits for life as without me you would have remained an unfulfilled entity. Seriously. I mean it.

I'll invest €50k for a half share!!

Was 'straining the plums' in a downtown pisser yesterday and in walks this gimp with a prick like a fcuking baseball bat swinging from to side as he approached the pissers.Hogs eye like baby's smile on it.

Spread the legs and put his hands behind his head, and to the tune of a ripe scuttery fart proceeded to spray piss over three bowls with a mist of backwash like the Victoria Falls.

Then when the blast finished shook the fcuker like a rag doll, dispersing dollops of smeg and piss in a radius of five feet.

I could take no more and looked at him and said, "Shake that thing in my direction again pal, and you will go home with a raggy stump for your mott"

Guy was out of it,stuffed the thing back in his trousers and no wash out the door.

Had to open the door with my elbow to get out:mad:

Assholes.

Svetti Arss · 23-09-2011 08:25PM

http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/dragonsden/

fryup · 24-09-2011 08:50AM

Well here's my pitch.............

********Topless Service Stations********

Think about it,

Fit young gorgeous women (pref eastern european) filling up or better still...washing your car

Then you go in to pay and there's another one behind the counter smiling at you.

Its gotta be a winner they'd be coming from miles around... truckers, bikers, priests etc

Of course i'll have to hire security if anybody tries anything on and i'll also have to pay the girls extra during the winter months (blue boob allowance) but hey i'll still think i'd make a healthy profit and then set it up as a franchise.

1/2 million for a 20% share of the company

Kidchameleon · 24-09-2011 09:29AM

Everybody will purposely soil the Steriandle just to be funny, in no time at all it would be worse off than the normal handle.

holystungun9 · 24-09-2011 09:48AM

A heated doctor's stethoscope. I hate going for a check up and out comes the frozen silver disk of death.

Another doctor's office thing would be disposable gloves with raised bumps on the fingers. If you're going to check my prostate we may as well make it as nice a time as possible. Also a little cuddle afterwards would make the act a little less sterile.

I have other ideas for the health sector too. My company is called LeMaTANAP - 'Lets make this as nice as possible'. I'm looking for fiddy Gs for 10% share.

Boards?

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 24-09-2011 10:04AM

An Indoor Outhouse. It's like a toilet, but indoors

Solnskaya · 24-09-2011 11:58AM

Jayde Melodic Gorge wrote: »

An Indoor Outhouse. It's like a toilet, but indoors

I think these might already have been invented, I've heard rumours that one of the neighbours have one. Havn't actually seen it myself, but they are pretty flashy for around here.:D You could sell loads of these in Offaly, people there are crying out for a bit of luxury.
I want someone to invent a shower-gel warmer. There's nothing worse than jumping into a nice warm shower and having to smear that first handful of freezing cold shower gel gloop onto your body.

FlutterinBantam · 25-09-2011 01:50PM

Jayde Melodic Gorge wrote: »

An Indoor Outhouse. It's like a toilet, but indoors

Hmmmm.... Now, I would be an aficionado of the indoor toilet, but Slasher,

you fail to grasp the obvious failings in your plan.

Why the fcuk would you break up a gaff to install an Indoor Outhouse,when you can unload into a basin or sommat (Big Saucepan)and dispose of it OUTSIDE.

Back to the drawing board pal.

php-fox · 25-09-2011 02:01PM

Here is my idea.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_c49UIMDYY

Any offers?

Dragon's Den - After Hours Edition.

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