What is the funniest thing you have seen or heard during a sports match ?

Number 10 Shirt · 09-09-2011 10:33PM #1

This happened about twenty years ago when I was still in primary school. My school was playing in a gaelic football match against another school from Wexford. Anyhow at halftime we were well behind in the game. One of our players decided he wanted to make an immediate impact at the start of the second half so he gained possession and began to solo like a madman towards the goal. Only problem was that he was going towards the wrong goal. The teachers on the sideline shouted to him 'you are going the wrong way !'. True story !

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 09-09-2011 10:40PM

At Mayo vs Kerry a few weeks back when we were getting wupped a fella next to us screamed "Come on Mayo, use the force!!!"

Made me smile for 4 seconds

Micilin Muc · 09-09-2011 10:44PM

"What's it like to have a queen" was shouted at the Armagh supporters in Hill 16 back in the 2002 All-Ireland Semi-Final!

Cill Dara Abu · 09-09-2011 10:48PM

Jason McAteer shouting 180 at Jimmy White when he was on a night out.

I wasn't there though

HalloweenJack · 09-09-2011 10:48PM

'Twas at a Bray Wanderers match a few years back.

Ciaran Ryan, one of lesser gifted players, was having a poor game, par for the team at the time. Anyway, at one point, he makes a complete balls of a clearance in the left-back area, it ends up going out for a throw-in a few yards up. As he's tracking back towards goal, one of the guys standing beside me says: "That was a bunch of ****e, Ryaner!". The player turns to him and confidently roars back: "**** off!". We were all stunned.

Brilliant.

Balfie · 09-09-2011 10:50PM

Ireland v Germany in Croke park.. Germany scored a goal, an on the tonnoy Ian Dempsey pops out with

''goal to West Germany, I mean Germany''

paddyandy · 09-09-2011 10:51PM

All Ball games are funny and ridiculous looking spectacles fit only for boys.

Paparazzo · 09-09-2011 10:51PM

At a Bohs match a few years ago and Glen Crowe (a slightly large framed footballer) wasn't quite fast enough when he was chasing a ball going out of play. Someone shouted "If there was batter on it you would have caught it"

SantryRed · 09-09-2011 10:52PM

FCUKING
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ghandee · 09-09-2011 10:53PM

I read this one in an overheard in Dublin book.

The Dubs were playing some county from down the country, a high ball was played and a Dub player jumped for the ball, but he totally missed it.

One of the supporters from the country club shouted "ya durty Jackeen bastid! If it was a bag of heroin ye'd have caught it I bet!"

omerin · 09-09-2011 10:56PM

Was on the RTE radio broadcast during the half time break from a spectator at the Cork City v Bayern Munich match many years ago. Cork City were 1-0 up and a Cork City supporter was asked what he thought the end result would be. He said with no hint of sarcasm or humour, in a dead pan way "Well at the start of the match I thought we'd lose 5-0, but now we scored a goal we'll probably lose 5-1"

Badgermonkey · 09-09-2011 10:56PM

Frank Rijkaard v Rudi Voeller in the spit-fest at Italia '90.

Scummers, the pair of 'em.

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 09-09-2011 10:57PM

At a local football game when a player missed a sitter of a goal, "If there was hair on it you'd have got it in!"

thefootiechef · 09-09-2011 10:57PM

was at a county football game and after a rather bad misplaced kick by one of our lads this classic came out from behind me '' get the hair out of your eyes ...you baldy ba*tard '' Had everyone in stiches

Radharc na Sleibhte · 09-09-2011 11:02PM

Paul Collins on Today FM this morning

Djokovic beat Federer in straight sex :pac:

Monty Burnz · 09-09-2011 11:02PM

Didn't see it first hand, but how about this one:

Needing to beat Grenada by two clear goals to qualify for the finals in Trinidad and Tobago, Barbados had established a 2-0 lead midway through the second half and were seemingly well in control of the game. However, an own goal by a Bajan defender made the score 2-1 and brought a new ruling into play, which led to farce. Under the new rule, devised by the competition committee to ensure a result, a match decided by sudden death in extra time was deemed to be the equivalent of a 2-0 victory. With three minutes remaining, the score still 2-1 and Grenada about to qualify for the finals, Barbados realised that their only chance lay in taking the match to sudden death. They stopped attacking their opponents' goal and turned on their own. In the 87th minute, two Barbadian defenders, Sealy and Stoute, exchanged passes before Sealy hammered the ball past his own goalkeeper for the equaliser.

The Grenada players, momentarily stunned by the goal, realised too late what was happening and immediately started to attack their own goal as well to stop sudden death. Sealy, though, had anticipated the response and stood beside the Grenada goalkeeper as the Bajans defended their opponents' goal. Grenada were unable to score at either end, the match ended 2-2 after 90 minutes and, after four minutes of extra time, Thorne scored the winner for Barbados amid scenes of celebration and laughter in the National Stadium in Bridgetown.

James Clarkson, the Grenadian coach, provided an unusual variation on the disappointed manager's speech: "I feel cheated," he said. "The person who came up with these rules must be a candidate for the madhouse. The game should never be played with so many players on the field confused. Our players did not even know which direction to attack: Our goal or their goal. I have never seen this happen before. In football, you are supposed to score against the opponents to win, not for them," he added.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThpYsN-4p7w

Derfil · 09-09-2011 11:04PM

At a Dublin Meath match a few years back with a chap from India to showcase the game to him. Walking down Jones road and to my horror there was a group of young Dubs coming our way singing "I'd rather be a packie than a Royal". Of course they erupted in cheers and pats on the back when the saw the guy with me. And then when they were headin on I heard one of them saying to another "Jaysus thats ****in deadly. You sing about packies and one bleedin appears"

Number 10 Shirt · 09-09-2011 11:07PM

This wasn't during a game but I heard audio once from Pat Kenny's radio show during the RWC in '07 when he was caught out by a listener's text. Something about whether Gavin Henson would 'get into Church' during the tournament !

Monty Burnz · 09-09-2011 11:12PM

Number 10 Shirt wrote: »

This wasn't during a game but I heard audio once from Pat Kenny's radio show during the RWC in '07 when he was caught out by a listener's text. Something about whether Gavin Henson would 'get into Church' during the tournament !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3xFxaVucmE

It's funny how he's dumb enough to repeat it, but I like how he laughs at himself at the end.

Jonah42 · 09-09-2011 11:13PM

At an MMA fight a few years ago. The two fighters go to the ground and the grappling starts. This goes on for a minute or two and the whole crowd goes silent apart from one guy at the back who shouts out in the most bloodthirsty, sickening screech "Tickle him!!!"

Fremen · 09-09-2011 11:13PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk

tommyhaas · 09-09-2011 11:17PM

Wasn't at the game myself, but Celtic fans used to sing to Rangers keeper and paranoid schizophrenic Andy Goram;

There's only two Andy Goram's....etc

parker kent · 09-09-2011 11:17PM

Balfie wrote: »

Ireland v Germany in Croke park.. Germany scored a goal, an on the tonnoy Ian Dempsey pops out with

''goal to West Germany, I mean Germany''

Ireland-Germany was a 0-0 draw when they played in Croke Park.

http://www.rte.ie/sport/soccer/2007/1013/ireland3.html

thefootiechef · 09-09-2011 11:18PM

why didnt they just go up and score a goal themselves if everyone was was at other end. or at least try. that wud have made it 3-2 win. or am i confused. I have image of them having everyone in there half by the description.

Sealy cannot be everywhere he is not Richard Dunne.

Guy:Incognito · 09-09-2011 11:21PM

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Frank Rijkaard v Rudi Voeller in the spit-fest at Italia '90.

Scummers, the pair of 'em.

Rijkaard was the only one that spat, twice.

4leto · 09-09-2011 11:23PM

Who remembers Brian Clough
He talkrd fluent funny sports quotes.

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=5&sqi=2&ved=0CDUQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.england2010.co.uk%2Fbrian-clough-quotes.htm&ei=LZFqTtHbKcmh8QPG8PAb&usg=AFQjCNFBXSn_AejCYPPNLxtI4sJe6NEaAQ

TheUsual · 09-09-2011 11:25PM

Was at the Ireland versus Australia (International Rules) game in Croke Park ... I think it was 2006 but I could be wrong.

So this little jack russell dog runs on the pitch for 8 minutes and chases the ball from one end of the pitch to the other. The crowd started cheering the dog on instead of the players and when they finally caught him, there was a huge Booooo !!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5dcRdWsf-4

Badgermonkey · 09-09-2011 11:28PM

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Rijkaard was the only one that spat, twice.

Yep, you is correct.

Funny clip here including Rod Hull's stint between the posts for the Netherlands.

tommyhaas · 09-09-2011 11:30PM

4leto wrote: »

Who remembers Brian Clough
He talkrd fluent funny sports quotes.

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=5&sqi=2&ved=0CDUQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.england2010.co.uk%2Fbrian-clough-quotes.htm&ei=LZFqTtHbKcmh8QPG8PAb&usg=AFQjCNFBXSn_AejCYPPNLxtI4sJe6NEaAQ

He came out with some great quotes, and was a brilliant manager in the early/mid stages of his career. He let himself down badly though in the latter stages of his career

Immaculate Pasta · 09-09-2011 11:30PM

England vs Germany Euro 96 semi final on English tv

Shearer had put England ahead in the third minute then Steffan Kuntz equalised for Germany. As quick as anything the commentator blurted out

"KUNTZ!! ...... It's 1-1"

I heard a classic from someone who was in the stands at the recent Ireland Argentina friendly. Zinedine Kilbane was at left back and had the ball and was facing Angel Di Maria. Kilbane - in classic Kilbane fashion - decided that he would try and get past Di Maria by knocking the ball past him and then thinking he could outpace Di Maria and continue dribbling with the ball. Shockingly Kilbane was comfortably dispossessed. After this stunt someone from the crowd blurted out "For fecks sake Kilbane you couldn't outrun Di Maria if you were on a moped!".

ontheditch2 · 09-09-2011 11:31PM

We used to have great craic playing soccer before. We played for the B team in the club, which was ****. And i mean, it was probably the worst league in ireland, terrible stuff altogether. It was so bad, we were down 4-0 at half time one day, got it back to 4-4 within 20 minutes of 2nd half, they then had a man sent off, then they scored 3 more to win 7-4. You wouldn't see ****e like that in a schoolyard..

One day our keeper left in a goal, and as we were about to tip off, the manager shouts in at the keeper, "if it was a f*****g burger you would of caught it ya fat prick". The game didn't start for about a minute, the referee was even in histerics.

Another one, at a GAA match, wing forward playing particularly bad, an old fella in the crowd shouts out "For F*** sake, take him off and bring on nobody"..

What is the funniest thing you have seen or heard during a sports match ?

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