What is the funniest thing you have seen or heard during a sports match ?

Number 10 Shirt

This happened about twenty years ago when I was still in primary school. My school was playing in a gaelic football match against another school from Wexford. Anyhow at halftime we were well behind in the game. One of our players decided he wanted to make an immediate impact at the start of the second half so he gained possession and began to solo like a madman towards the goal. Only problem was that he was going towards the wrong goal. The teachers on the sideline shouted to him 'you are going the wrong way !'. True story !

epgc3fyqirnbsx

At Mayo vs Kerry a few weeks back when we were getting wupped a fella next to us screamed "Come on Mayo, use the force!!!"

Made me smile for 4 seconds

Micilin Muc

"What's it like to have a queen" was shouted at the Armagh supporters in Hill 16 back in the 2002 All-Ireland Semi-Final!

Cill Dara Abu

Jason McAteer shouting 180 at Jimmy White when he was on a night out.

I wasn't there though

HalloweenJack

'Twas at a Bray Wanderers match a few years back.

Ciaran Ryan, one of lesser gifted players, was having a poor game, par for the team at the time. Anyway, at one point, he makes a complete balls of a clearance in the left-back area, it ends up going out for a throw-in a few yards up. As he's tracking back towards goal, one of the guys standing beside me says: "That was a bunch of ****e, Ryaner!". The player turns to him and confidently roars back: "**** off!". We were all stunned.

Brilliant.

Balfie

Ireland v Germany in Croke park.. Germany scored a goal, an on the tonnoy Ian Dempsey pops out with

''goal to West Germany, I mean Germany''

paddyandy

All Ball games are funny and ridiculous looking spectacles fit only for boys.

Paparazzo

At a Bohs match a few years ago and Glen Crowe (a slightly large framed footballer) wasn't quite fast enough when he was chasing a ball going out of play. Someone shouted "If there was batter on it you would have caught it"

SantryRed

FCUKING
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ghandee

I read this one in an overheard in Dublin book.


The Dubs were playing some county from down the country, a high ball was played and a Dub player jumped for the ball, but he totally missed it.

One of the supporters from the country club shouted "ya durty Jackeen bastid! If it was a bag of heroin ye'd have caught it I bet!"

omerin

Was on the RTE radio broadcast during the half time break from a spectator at the Cork City v Bayern Munich match many years ago. Cork City were 1-0 up and a Cork City supporter was asked what he thought the end result would be. He said with no hint of sarcasm or humour, in a dead pan way "Well at the start of the match I thought we'd lose 5-0, but now we scored a goal we'll probably lose 5-1"

Badgermonkey

Frank Rijkaard v Rudi Voeller in the spit-fest at Italia '90.

Scummers, the pair of 'em.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

At a local football game when a player missed a sitter of a goal, "If there was hair on it you'd have got it in!"

thefootiechef

was at a county football game and after a rather bad misplaced kick by one of our lads this classic came out from behind me '' get the hair out of your eyes ...you baldy ba*tard '' Had everyone in stiches

Radharc na Sleibhte

Paul Collins on Today FM this morning

Djokovic beat Federer in straight sex :pac:

Monty Burnz

Didn't see it first hand, but how about this one:

Needing to beat Grenada by two clear goals to qualify for the finals in Trinidad and Tobago, Barbados had established a 2-0 lead midway through the second half and were seemingly well in control of the game. However, an own goal by a Bajan defender made the score 2-1 and brought a new ruling into play, which led to farce. Under the new rule, devised by the competition committee to ensure a result, a match decided by sudden death in extra time was deemed to be the equivalent of a 2-0 victory. With three minutes remaining, the score still 2-1 and Grenada about to qualify for the finals, Barbados realised that their only chance lay in taking the match to sudden death. They stopped attacking their opponents' goal and turned on their own. In the 87th minute, two Barbadian defenders, Sealy and Stoute, exchanged passes before Sealy hammered the ball past his own goalkeeper for the equaliser.

The Grenada players, momentarily stunned by the goal, realised too late what was happening and immediately started to attack their own goal as well to stop sudden death. Sealy, though, had anticipated the response and stood beside the Grenada goalkeeper as the Bajans defended their opponents' goal. Grenada were unable to score at either end, the match ended 2-2 after 90 minutes and, after four minutes of extra time, Thorne scored the winner for Barbados amid scenes of celebration and laughter in the National Stadium in Bridgetown.

James Clarkson, the Grenadian coach, provided an unusual variation on the disappointed manager's speech: "I feel cheated," he said. "The person who came up with these rules must be a candidate for the madhouse. The game should never be played with so many players on the field confused. Our players did not even know which direction to attack: Our goal or their goal. I have never seen this happen before. In football, you are supposed to score against the opponents to win, not for them," he added.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThpYsN-4p7w

Derfil

At a Dublin Meath match a few years back with a chap from India to showcase the game to him. Walking down Jones road and to my horror there was a group of young Dubs coming our way singing "I'd rather be a packie than a Royal". Of course they erupted in cheers and pats on the back when the saw the guy with me. And then when they were headin on I heard one of them saying to another "Jaysus thats ****in deadly. You sing about packies and one bleedin appears"

Number 10 Shirt

This wasn't during a game but I heard audio once from Pat Kenny's radio show during the RWC in '07 when he was caught out by a listener's text. Something about whether Gavin Henson would 'get into Church' during the tournament !

Monty Burnz

Number 10 Shirt wrote: »

This wasn't during a game but I heard audio once from Pat Kenny's radio show during the RWC in '07 when he was caught out by a listener's text. Something about whether Gavin Henson would 'get into Church' during the tournament !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3xFxaVucmE

It's funny how he's dumb enough to repeat it, but I like how he laughs at himself at the end.

Jonah42

At an MMA fight a few years ago. The two fighters go to the ground and the grappling starts. This goes on for a minute or two and the whole crowd goes silent apart from one guy at the back who shouts out in the most bloodthirsty, sickening screech "Tickle him!!!"

Fremen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k0qZDdfvZk

tommyhaas

Wasn't at the game myself, but Celtic fans used to sing to Rangers keeper and paranoid schizophrenic Andy Goram;

There's only two Andy Goram's....etc

parker kent

Balfie wrote: »

Ireland v Germany in Croke park.. Germany scored a goal, an on the tonnoy Ian Dempsey pops out with

''goal to West Germany, I mean Germany''

Ireland-Germany was a 0-0 draw when they played in Croke Park.

http://www.rte.ie/sport/soccer/2007/1013/ireland3.html

thefootiechef

why didnt they just go up and score a goal themselves if everyone was was at other end. or at least try. that wud have made it 3-2 win. or am i confused. I have image of them having everyone in there half by the description.

Sealy cannot be everywhere he is not Richard Dunne.

Guy:Incognito

Badgermonkey wrote: »

Frank Rijkaard v Rudi Voeller in the spit-fest at Italia '90.

Scummers, the pair of 'em.

Rijkaard was the only one that spat, twice.

4leto

Who remembers Brian Clough
He talkrd fluent funny sports quotes.

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=5&sqi=2&ved=0CDUQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.england2010.co.uk%2Fbrian-clough-quotes.htm&ei=LZFqTtHbKcmh8QPG8PAb&usg=AFQjCNFBXSn_AejCYPPNLxtI4sJe6NEaAQ

TheUsual

Was at the Ireland versus Australia (International Rules) game in Croke Park ... I think it was 2006 but I could be wrong.

So this little jack russell dog runs on the pitch for 8 minutes and chases the ball from one end of the pitch to the other. The crowd started cheering the dog on instead of the players and when they finally caught him, there was a huge Booooo !!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5dcRdWsf-4

Badgermonkey

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Rijkaard was the only one that spat, twice.

Yep, you is correct.

Funny clip here including Rod Hull's stint between the posts for the Netherlands.

tommyhaas

4leto wrote: »

Who remembers Brian Clough
He talkrd fluent funny sports quotes.

http://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=5&sqi=2&ved=0CDUQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.england2010.co.uk%2Fbrian-clough-quotes.htm&ei=LZFqTtHbKcmh8QPG8PAb&usg=AFQjCNFBXSn_AejCYPPNLxtI4sJe6NEaAQ

He came out with some great quotes, and was a brilliant manager in the early/mid stages of his career. He let himself down badly though in the latter stages of his career

Immaculate Pasta

England vs Germany Euro 96 semi final on English tv

Shearer had put England ahead in the third minute then Steffan Kuntz equalised for Germany. As quick as anything the commentator blurted out

"KUNTZ!! ...... It's 1-1"


I heard a classic from someone who was in the stands at the recent Ireland Argentina friendly. Zinedine Kilbane was at left back and had the ball and was facing Angel Di Maria. Kilbane - in classic Kilbane fashion - decided that he would try and get past Di Maria by knocking the ball past him and then thinking he could outpace Di Maria and continue dribbling with the ball. Shockingly Kilbane was comfortably dispossessed. After this stunt someone from the crowd blurted out "For fecks sake Kilbane you couldn't outrun Di Maria if you were on a moped!".

ontheditch2

We used to have great craic playing soccer before. We played for the B team in the club, which was ****. And i mean, it was probably the worst league in ireland, terrible stuff altogether. It was so bad, we were down 4-0 at half time one day, got it back to 4-4 within 20 minutes of 2nd half, they then had a man sent off, then they scored 3 more to win 7-4. You wouldn't see ****e like that in a schoolyard..

One day our keeper left in a goal, and as we were about to tip off, the manager shouts in at the keeper, "if it was a f*****g burger you would of caught it ya fat prick". The game didn't start for about a minute, the referee was even in histerics.

Another one, at a GAA match, wing forward playing particularly bad, an old fella in the crowd shouts out "For F*** sake, take him off and bring on nobody"..

7sr2z3fely84g5

Ted walsh- This is really a lovely horse, I rode her mother once

Another from From dont feed the gondolas,classic!-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpa0TnZrDxg

Man brushing teeth during match

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEm6GuLj73Y

Liverpool beachball goal-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpW1gRrdkHE

Andre80Johnson

I read about this a few months back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeS4f5p0BrI

Plazaman

Under 16's rugby, we were caught at home on the line by the opposition (the fúckers). Argy bargy later the ball went out over the line and the ref called to our team we could have a line out or a scrum. So shouting ensues from the group and captain of our team emerges shouting "Scrum... Captain....Scrum....".

He is known as Captain Scrum from then till now

losthorizon

Micilin Muc wrote: »

"What's it like to have a queen" was shouted at the Armagh supporters in Hill 16 back in the 2002 All-Ireland Semi-Final!

Used By LOI supporters against Derry city since 1984.

K-9

Micilin Muc wrote: »

"What's it like to have a queen" was shouted at the Armagh supporters in Hill 16 back in the 2002 All-Ireland Semi-Final!

The original quote was aimed at a Donegal lad in a certain Kerry establishment owned by a well known Kerry GAA figure.

"When ye lot won the All Ireland, the Queen will present the trophy".


Well Mary Robinson did present the trophy to us! Down got it twice and also Derry, Tyrone 3 times (sssshhhh) and Armagh before her Majesty graced our presence!

u_c_thesecond

last week - tipp and kilkenny. was in a pub and half time and went out for a bit of air, and this woman says within earshot " jesus conor i hope we get a try, we cant have them bastards getting any more trys we will lose the match" !

i nearly wet myself!!

It wasn't a sports match, but it's a sport alright, while watching a friend show jumping one day and doing pathetically, someone beside me noted "That horse needs to take a piss!" so another auld lad beside us yelled out "Here, whip yer mickey out!" My friend dropped the reins, horse faltered, thought she was gonna take a massive fall.... she was ok but god, the whole side of the arena where I was standing was rolling around laughing.

Omeceron

Under 21 match between Offaly and Westmeath a few years ago. One Westmeath supporter was firing out abuse the entire match. Someone shouted at him to "relax, its only a game". His response was "its not about a game, its about land".

DazMarz

Was over at West Ham v. Chelsea in Upton Park in December '09. Many of Chelsea's African players would be leaving in January to play in the African Cup Of Nations.

At one point in the game, Chelsea's German midfielder Michael Ballack misplaced a pass, much to the annoyance of the entire away contingent of Chelsea fans, including one little teenage scrote next to me, who came out with this classic: "For fúck sake, Ballack! God, I can't wait until he fúcks off to the African Cup of Nations!"

Chelsea would go on to earn a 1-1 draw, and the national I.Q. of England went down a couple of points...

Topper Harley

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

Kilbane - in classic Kilbane fashion - decided that he would try and get past Di Maria by knocking the ball past him and then thinking he could outpace Di Maria and continue dribbling with the ball.

Ah yes, Kevin Kilbane and his back of trick.

few cans?

I used to play for a football club when i was a teenager and at half time we all used to smoke a fag on the pitch!

swan19

Torres eventually scoring for Chelsea last season...was laughable!!!

Liverpool really do ruin players!!! :P

lemonjelly

He's backing in well, all around the lads now ...and connected.

never trusted rugby people

jugger0

Was playing a rugby match against a team of scummers, we got in a massive fight and i ended up in the middle of it, some random man walking by ran onto the pitch and punched me in the back of the head then ran off and jumped a wall, i didnt find it funny but the rest of the lads did.

Another time playing some soccer on astro turf in a dodgy estate, some tinker child threw a 2 litre bottle of milk at us.

flas

have two, once at a match a ref was being particulary bad and not letting anything run, so someone shouts in from the sideline "ah for feck sake ref, would ya not let it run" to which someone shouted "that fella wouldnt let a tap run"...
then at another match, under18 in athlone, playing this team, some of their players were a little on the rough side, not bad on the pitch, but off it a complete different story! anyway, thses two lads up front, pa and pa, when they were shouting at each other all game to pass the ball myself and the other centre half couldnt stop laughing "pass the ball pa" to which pa would shout back "sher you will doin nothing with it pa"...like the un'believables!! during this match a child comes running onto the pitch, straight up to one of the pa's, child is about 3 or 4, and is shoutin daddy, daddy.. pa picks the child up, looks around him, see's who must be his missus, and shouts "if you dont keep an eye on my fcukin child il go over there and give you box"... i know domestic violence isnt funny but this happening during a game, with the game still going on was madness!

Ken.

Was playing u-18 soccer(i play in goal) and our opposition's striker had a tendancy to go down in the box when no one was near him. This one time he's clear through on goal and kicked the ball to far ahead of himself. I was going to get to it first.

Next thing he's in a heap on the ground with me 10 yards away and the defender 5 yards behind.

Whaqt happened next will keep me smiling till my dying day. My defender hits the ground about 2 seconds after yer man and covers his head. The ref gets to him first and asks whats up. Joe's answer led to the game being delayed 10 mins till me and the ref composed ourselves. His reply was " i thought their was a sniper in the crowd".

I nearly pissed myself.

Their striker got sent off for diving btw.

suarez9

Years ago U14's when there loads of lads on bench manager gave me ten minutes as a sub in a game he then took me off again wtf... He said were doin better 14 again 15

Cass

Friend of mine in his early 30s decided the best way to loose weight was to take back up the GAA. 15 minutes into his "long awaited" return match he pukes his ring up, then stands in goal smoking a fag.

Nearly wet myself laughing. He never came out after half time.

teddy_303

http://youtu.be/K5loeV-_4og

titsmahgee

I remember playing a football match in primary school and the opposition had a huge harmless bastard on the bench, one of those huge lads who hits puberty and reaches 6 foot by the time he's 12. Only thing is he was absolutly useless, big and awkward, couldnt kick a ball to save his life.

So anyway these other lads are hammering us so they decide to bring on 'titch' as he was known. All his teammates on the sideline start riling him up,by the time titch gets on he's ready to do damage, he runs over to the little guy he's marking picks him up by the neck with one hand and kind of choke slams him to the ground. the ref tells titch to get off the pitch and the lad on the ground is too scared too play on.

Seemed more funny in secondary school when we went to school with titch and realised what a harmless lad he was.