Who should you give up your seat for?

starlit · 31-08-2011 05:47PM

Pregnant Women
Old People
People with heavy bags
People who are on crutches

starviewadams · 31-08-2011 05:59PM

Elderly people
Pregnant Women
Young Children
Good Looking Women.

Eric Cartman · 31-08-2011 06:08PM

elderly people, people on crutches. thats about it

TirEoghain · 01-09-2011 04:48AM

And for those people more deserving of the seats, who should be the ones to give up the seats?

Does it go by location of the person needing the seat, or by who might be sitting in nearby seats?

In Brisbane here, they have signs on the trains that students on concession tickets must not occupy seats while any adults are standing.

Rarely do I ever see these students giving up seats for anyone, not even elderly/disabled/etc even when they are occupying the priority seats beside the doors.

Elmidena · 01-09-2011 05:19AM

Am disabled myself, but unless I'm in an extremely bad way physically then I tend to stand for a journey on dublin bus (not in the city terribly often, but when I am I do take a few buses) Never, EVER go upstairs since an incident involving an ex getting chucked through window a few years back in Tallaght (if anyone remembers it) and too often jarred myself painfully on stairs on way down. As I said, unless I'm in a very bad way physically I'll stand for the half an hour or whatever it is out of choice, but if I do get a seat I'll still be conscious of those around me, and if I feel capable of standing I will, for anyone pretty much except for inyerfayce yungwans. Though it has entertained me in the past to listen to oul wans bitching if I'm in a seat and seeing their attitude change when they see my travel pass!

Bipolar Joe · 01-09-2011 05:21AM

Steve Buscemi. No exceptions.

kowloon · 01-09-2011 05:52AM

This whole argument is just another reason I try to avoid public transport.
What if I give up my seat to someone older and they get offended that I think they're frail?

When I took the train I used to just stand up and walk up the carriage if I saw someone who needed the seat, that way I wouldn't offend them and they could just take an empty seat.

That doesn't always work out though: once I remember leaving my seat only for some scumbag to leap for the seat and leer at the pregnant woman. You can't win.

Pompey Magnus · 01-09-2011 06:20AM

If an extremely frail elderly person (must be 80+) gets on the bus I would usually move my bag off the spare seat beside me to let them sit down. Of course I'd wait a few seconds just to see if anyone else stands up to let them sit, if not then I normally would do the selfless thing.

astonaidan · 01-09-2011 10:17PM

Hot Girl
OAP
Mother and Child
Really Hot Girls

01-09-2011 11:20PM

Angeles wrote: »

I find it hard to understand the mentality of needing to give up a seat at all.

Its kinda ironic how were conditioned to give up a seat to an elderly person who's gonna take your seat for 20 mins on a bus, just to get up and spend the next few hours walking around shops in town..
Same goes for anyone.
If your disabled in some way, why are you getting on a bus in the first place?

This is not to say i won't give up my seat out of politeness to someone who looks like they really need it.. example being an exhausted old person after walking town for hours..
But i can't stand the attitude of needing to give up just for the sake of someone being of age.

Ever wonder what happens when there are only old people on a bus and more old people get on, thats right, they stand like the rest!

Just.......wow....... I hope you're not really serious? Plenty of disabled people need to work too. Hell, plenty of old people have to work. One of my colleagues is a frail 79-year-old who's working because he needs the money (some family issue). The thought of him having to stand on the bus on his way to do an 8-hour shift actually breaks my heart.

Aishae wrote: »

I'm also 27 and look healthy. It's not obvious I'm often dizzy and have no balance, never mind the walking trouble. I'm often left standing. I don't demand a seat. That's fine. But it DOES annoy me that when I do get a seat I'm stared out of it by an old one. I give up the seat if I'm able, but if I need it I need it. You cant always judge a book by the cover, as they say.

I always gave up my seat for old folks the heavily pregnant and infirm. I'm in the last category now. I don't expect people to give up a seat - I appreciate it if they do. But if I get a seat I'm staying there.

Same here. This is my pet peeve. I'm not as badly off as you are, but I do have a bad back, bad knees and general pain most of the time and I can't stand the looks I get when I rush to get a seat or take one when it becomes available. I look younger than I am and look healthy, so you can see people assuming I'm just ignorant. Obviously I'd give it up for someone who is obviously pregnant, elderly or disabled, but no way am I going to stand there and watch some other twentysomething sit down so they can go on their iPad.

Noopti wrote: »

Don't get the whole "pregnancy was their choice, so they can stand" idea. Fact is I am a fairly fit and young person, so I don't care if the woman chose to be pregnant, she could probably do with a seat more than me. So I would offer the seat.

If someone came on the bus with crutches would you ask them how they got the injury before offering them the seat? If they answer "hit by car" they get the seat, if they answer "playing football" well it was their choice to play football and risk an injury, so they stand. I do understand how people can be wary of offering a seat to a pregnant woman - if it wasn't really obvious and she could be just big.

People who need a seat more than me get it, simple.

Exactly. That 'well, she decided to get pregnant' attitude is incredibly immature and just plain stupid. And misogynistic as well, IMO. Someone has to carry babies so the human race doesn't die out, and she didn't get pregnant on her own. I wonder how many people would love the thought of their own heavily pregnant wife standing for an hour while a young man was sitting near her. And I say that as someone who hates smug mothers and entitled women.

wolfpawnat · 01-09-2011 11:37PM

When I was pregnant I noticed the only ones who never offered me a seat were all either youngsters or toffs who were too good to get up! Says a lot about the Celtic Tiger society, it really did no good for our people!

All of those who refuse to get up were the foetuses in pregnant women before and will be the elderly in years to come, and will then need the seats!

VenusPlays · 01-09-2011 11:39PM

I dont understand why anyone wouldnt give up their seat to certain people especially to someone elderly. its not about who needs the seat more. Its about respect and decency.

CrazyRabbit · 01-09-2011 11:48PM

Mr. Presentable wrote: »

I will offer my seat to anyone who looks less able than I to stand.

I don't believe being pregnant is necessarily a disablement and wouldn't always get up for someone who made a lifestyle choice and looks big and strong

Same here. Anyone who needs it more than I do can have it.

jive · 02-09-2011 07:32PM

I like to offer my seat to women in their 30s or early 40s. Let the insecurities and inner torment commence!

The King of Moo · 02-09-2011 08:45PM

I'd echo the usual sentiments: I'd give my seat up for older people (sometimes I'm not sure if someone's old enough, and think they might be insulted if I offer them the seat, so I'll wait to see if they're looking for a seat), pregnant women and the disabled.

I gave my seat up for a very old couple on the train recently. I felt slightly bad as it was only one of those fold out seats right in front of the toilets, but no-one in the proper seats had offered them a seat (it was rush hour in the evening heading northwards from Connolly in Dublin, so it was full of self-important tools on their way home from the IFSC - not that everyone working in the area is like that, just enough for it to stand out).
I was a little worried they'd be embarrassed or annoyed but they were very grateful and nice. Naturally I saw some people about to grab the seats as soon as we got up till I gave them the eye.

Something I'm curious about it - any women here who'd give up their seat for an elderly man? And if you would, would you expect a man to give up his seat first, and only offer your seat if no man was going to do it?
Not that I think women shouldn't of course, it's just that obviously there's still a bit more onus on men to be chivalrous and give up their seat.

phasers · 02-09-2011 09:16PM

pregnant lady
someone with young children
disabled person

I rarely give up my seat for old people, they're a shower of bastards.

LeeHoffmann · 02-09-2011 09:53PM

Something I'm curious about it - any women here who'd give up their seat for an elderly man? And if you would, would you expect a man to give up his seat first, and only offer your seat if no man was going to do it?
Not that I think women shouldn't of course, it's just that obviously there's still a bit more onus on men to be chivalrous and give up their seat.
Interesting point. I agree there seems to be more onus on men but, as I think there's no good reason for this, the gender of the person doesn't factor into my decision to give up/keep my seat

CorsetIsTight · 02-09-2011 10:42PM

With reference to the people commenting about men taking seats in the ante-natal clinic waiting room, while pregnant women were left standing, I have experienced this too and it was horrible. If there had only ever been one, I would have assumed that he was in some way incapacitated himself, but each time I saw it there was many more than just one.

What always went through my head about those obviously well-matched couples was:

1. Would the men hogging seats be happy if their pregnant woman was forced to stand because of men hogging seats...?

2. Why didn't the pregnant women whose men were hogging seats tell them to give up their seats...?

When my husband was with me he always gave up his seat immediately if it was needed. I know that if for some reason he hadn't noticed that a pregnant woman was standing and that all the seats were full, a word from me would have had him giving up his seat.

dark crystal · 02-09-2011 10:59PM

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

Something I'm curious about it - any women here who'd give up their seat for an elderly man? And if you would, would you expect a man to give up his seat first, and only offer your seat if no man was going to do it?
Not that I think women shouldn't of course, it's just that obviously there's still a bit more onus on men to be chivalrous and give up their seat.
Interesting point. I agree there seems to be more onus on men but, as I think there's no good reason for this, the gender of the person doesn't factor into my decision to give up/keep my seat

As an able bodied young(ish) woman, I would always give up my seat to an elderly person of any gender.

I would also always give up my seat for a pregnant woman, or a parent with young kids.

I don't see why able bodied women should be any less chivalrous than able bodied men where it comes to giving up their seat.

I wouldn't mind standing for the extra 10 minutes for the benefit of someone who clearly needed it more than I did.

CorsetIsTight · 02-09-2011 11:01PM

The King of Moo wrote: »

Something I'm curious about it - any women here who'd give up their seat for an elderly man? And if you would, would you expect a man to give up his seat first, and only offer your seat if no man was going to do it?
Not that I think women shouldn't of course, it's just that obviously there's still a bit more onus on men to be chivalrous and give up their seat.

I was a regular user of the DART and Dublin Bus until I was 18, and we moved away to an area with no public transport.

An elderly man, or a woman who was my mother's age or older, would always be offered my seat. Also pregnant women, people with any kind of walking aid, and women with small children, or anyone who looked particularly frail, ill or tired.

I think it's because when I was a girl and out with my mother, if she noticed anyone from the above group, she would tell me to stand up so that the other person could sit down. She trained me well, and I always did it, even when she wasn't there

Neyite · 02-09-2011 11:02PM

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

Something I'm curious about it - any women here who'd give up their seat for an elderly man? And if you would, would you expect a man to give up his seat first, and only offer your seat if no man was going to do it?
Not that I think women shouldn't of course, it's just that obviously there's still a bit more onus on men to be chivalrous and give up their seat.
Interesting point. I agree there seems to be more onus on men but, as I think there's no good reason for this, the gender of the person doesn't factor into my decision to give up/keep my seat

I would and have given up my seat for an elderly man - I would not wait to see if someone else would. I am (relatively) young, and have no health issues, therefore if anyone needs a seat more than me I would give it.

JustAThought · 02-09-2011 11:20PM

O I've done that a few times and have been always refused: thou a few times they have motioned to quite well kept sprightly wives to sit or to move so that they could chat together. But the look of horror and fright on their faces would actually almost put me off offering to elderly men again; they really seem to take it as an offence or insult : ( and that was on the JAMMERS Dundalk train where there's little chance of a quick sit. Tricky one. But still I'd offer, discreetly.
I agree with other posters: a few times I've watched some female sprint to it and had to bluntly telll them to get up: I offered it but not to you. No manners...

Who should you give up your seat for?

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