Who should you give up your seat for?

LeeHoffmann

So, we know to give up a seat for a pregnant woman or an elderly person (i.e. retirement aged or close to) or anybody who has any obvious physical disability that would make standing difficult. Is that it? I thought so. However a group of people in work this morning were discussing it and one of them said "these young ones wouldn't give up their seat for women in their 50's/60's". (This woman is aged in her 50's/60's and I'm a 'young one' so I decided not to go any deeper into it). Is it generally considered polite to give up seats for people in their 50's? I would have thought that would be kind of patronising - are 50 year olds that frail? And why is it specifically women in their 50's that are targetted - i.e. why don't men in their 50's deserve a seat? Are there other groups that I'm also ignoring who also deserve a seat? What about kids?

I'm just looking for simple answers here so I can compile a mental list - who should you give up a seat for?

(wanted to include a poll but don't know how!)

efb

Aged 60+ female 70+ male
Infirmed
Pregnant
New mothers (with their baby)
Ppl with young children
Ppl with limited mobility

xzanti

LeeHoffmann wrote: »

So, we know to give up a seat for a pregnant woman or an elderly person

A lot of people actually don't seeing as pregnancy is a choice..

You'd be suprised how many men have to be asked to move from seats in Maternity Hospitals to let pregnant women sit down. It was a regular occurance in the Rotunda.. Every time I went in for check ups I'd see it :rolleyes:

vibe666

i saw the same thing in holles street when we were in getting check-ups before my wife gave birth. the utter ignorance was astounding sometimes.

wild_cat

I usually hop up for the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

I'm a bit shy at moving when a buggy gets onto the bus due to the fact that they are meant to fold them up but often don't and it causes untold confusion when a wheel chair user also boards the bus.

I understand some people not being able to give up their seat in a normal hospital... but in a maternity hospital? Surely not all of the fellows who remain seated have an under lying health condition?

mathie

I usually hop up on the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

Galtee

vibe666 wrote: »

i saw the same thing in holles street when we were in getting check-ups before my wife gave birth. the utter ignorance was astounding sometimes.

I know exactly what you mean however, in the majority of cases I don't think it's ignorance, I think it may be more to do with lack of confidence. Personally I would give up my seat for anyone that I thought needed it regardless of what age they are. Pregnant women, old men and women, people with disability, kids who look like they might run all over the train/bus if not seated or are just looking tired etc. Makes no real odds what age they are, if they look like they need it then I give it up.

wild_cat

mathie wrote: »

I usually hop up on the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

http://www.overclock.net/attachments/software-news/201785d1300996196-news-com-au-apple-removes-gay-i-see-what-you-did-there

CardBordWindow

Does it count if you offer a hot girl the chance to sit on your lap?

mikemac

The list in Post two

However, on city buses there is only supposed to be one buggy and if a wheelchair gets on that buggy should be folded too

So I don't realy see the need to move if there are two or three buggies at the front of bus and I'm sitting at the front also
Those should be folded, rules are clear there should only be one

mickrock

I often ask young women if they'd like to sit on my lap but they all refuse.

Young people today are so rude and ungrateful.

xzanti

Galtee wrote: »

I know exactly what you mean however, in the majority of cases I don't think it's ignorance, I think it may be more to do with lack of manners. .

FYP

Nah seriously though, maybe a very small percentage of them might be too shy or whatever to stand up and offer the seat.. but I'm talking about men actually having to be told by staff to move out of the seats and they'd be scowling and rolling the eyes about having to move..

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it on several occasions with my own eyes..

Galtee

xzanti wrote: »

FYP

Nah seriously though, maybe a very small percentage of them might be too shy or whatever to stand up and offer the seat.. but I'm talking about men actually having to be told by staff to move out of the seats and they'd be scowling and rolling the eyes about having to move..

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it on several occasions with my own eyes..

WOW, I'm really shocked at that.

Mr. Presentable

I will offer my seat to anyone who looks less able than I to stand.

I don't believe being pregnant is necessarily a disablement and wouldn't always get up for someone who made a lifestyle choice and looks big and strong

MonkeyTennis

a pregnant granny

pancuronium

I will give my seat to anyone who looks less able than I, but would also offer my seat to any woman regardless of age or circumstance, I just wouldnn't be comfortable sitting while a woman stands in the aisle......Thats just me........ often i've had it where people would refuse and say "no your ok thanks" i'd just stand anyway......usually they'll just sit down making me more comfortable.

angelfire9

Mr. Presentable wrote: »

I will offer my seat to anyone who looks less able than I to stand.

I don't believe being pregnant is necessarily a disablement and wouldn't always get up for someone who made a lifestyle choice and looks big and strong

You are kidding right?? :rolleyes:
Being pregnant may be a "lifestyle choice" but its bloody hard work

Lollipops23

I would give up my seat to anyone infirm or a clearly pregnant woman.

However, my step dad (60) was on the luas about 2 years ago- now he walks with a limp and might look a bit more shook than he actually is- but some "young one" (he out her around my age at the time, 22/23) offered him her seat. He nearly died, and politely informed her that there was no need. He took that as his signal he was getting old

Eever

I would give up my seat for:

pregnant women (I understand why some people wouldn't, I just personally would)

older people (I'm thinking 60+)

people with obvious physical medical/mobility issues

Do you know what drives me especially mad though? It's young women who accept seats from polite gentlemen. Every so often I'll be standing on the dart and an older man will offer me his seat because that's just the way some of them are, very mannerly. I always thank them but refuse the seat as I'm 26 years old and have no issues with standing, but it really gets to me when I see other able bodied young women my age that actually accept the seat from these kindly older gents who in all likelihood probably need it more than the young women do.

I get the dart with my dad in the mornings and we'll both be standing when a seat frees up - I always give it to him as he is (in a word) banjaxed. He's on his feet all day in work, works very long hours with little or no breaks, has a banjaxed knee, hip and shoulder and these problems are quite obvious when he walks. And yet if there is another perfectly able bodied female nearby who has just heard me say "no dad, you need the seat" after he's offered it to me, she will still take him up on the offer of the seat. I know it's his own fault for offering but it just really annoys me when these young women take advantage of good natured men like that.

MugMugs

generally if they smell of piss you should give them your seat. That goes for old people and pregnant people or old pregnant people.

Eever

pancuronium wrote: »

I will give my seat to anyone who looks less able than I, but would also offer my seat to any woman regardless of age or circumstance, I just wouldnn't be comfortable sitting while a woman stands in the aisle......Thats just me........ often i've had it where people would refuse and say "no your ok thanks" i'd just stand anyway......usually they'll just sit down making me more comfortable.

See I just don't understand this. I think it's great that you were brought up with manners and all that but at the same time I feel like you're just adding to this sense of entitlement that some women have.

And standing up thus making her feel so awkward about it that she has to sit down is a bit odd to me. I know you've the best of intentions but it would make me so uncomfortable if someone did that to me.

Lollipops23 wrote: »

However, my step dad (60) was on the luas about 2 years ago- now he walks with a limp and might look a bit more shook than he actually is- but some "young one" (he out her around my age at the time, 22/23) offered him her seat. He nearly died, and politely informed her that there was no need. He took that as his signal he was getting old

Yeah my dad is the same, despite the problems he has, a young lady did offer her seat to him once and he had the same reaction. I hadn't really thought about it like that.

Carrieleee

Lollipops23 wrote: »

I would give up my seat to anyone infirm or a clearly pregnant woman.

However, my step dad (60) was on the luas about 2 years ago- now he walks with a limp and might look a bit more shook than he actually is- but some "young one" (he out her around my age at the time, 22/23) offered him her seat. He nearly died, and politely informed her that there was no need. He took that as his signal he was getting old

I have seen this happening, someone will get quite distressed when offered a seat and insist that they are fit and able.

Generally 50/60 are able to stand...though some may have an impairment, it's hard to know. People take offence at the smallest things!

The way I look at it is if you see someone you feel deserves your seat then offer it to them. If they say no they say no, you've done your best.

orourkeda

only for a blow job

stupidusername

I would only judge someone for not giving up their seat for someone who clearly needs it. pregnant women don't automatically need a seat, because they're pregnant. same goes for older people.

I'd look at the person and make a judgement for myself. Though I did notice how few people will help you out when you're on crutches and genuinely need help. it's about 50/50, the people who will or won't move out of your way, considering how awkward it is to do, or people that will or won't help you do something, when you're clearly struggling. and I found women with buggies just as ignorant then too.

CardBordWindow wrote: »

Does it count if you offer a hot girl the chance to sit on your lap?

ha, i'd do it!

pancuronium wrote: »

I will give my seat to anyone who looks less able than I, but would also offer my seat to any woman regardless of age or circumstance, I just wouldnn't be comfortable sitting while a woman stands in the aisle......Thats just me........ often i've had it where people would refuse and say "no your ok thanks" i'd just stand anyway......usually they'll just sit down making me more comfortable.

you're not serious, right?

FloatingVoter

Sit on the top deck (I use Dublin Bus). Avoid the issue completely is my motto.

Angeles

I find it hard to understand the mentality of needing to give up a seat at all.

Its kinda ironic how were conditioned to give up a seat to an elderly person who's gonna take your seat for 20 mins on a bus, just to get up and spend the next few hours walking around shops in town..
Same goes for anyone.
If your disabled in some way, why are you getting on a bus in the first place?

This is not to say i won't give up my seat out of politeness to someone who looks like they really need it.. example being an exhausted old person after walking town for hours..
But i can't stand the attitude of needing to give up just for the sake of someone being of age.

Ever wonder what happens when there are only old people on a bus and more old people get on, thats right, they stand like the rest!

flowerbee

When i was pregnant i was coming home on the train to Longford after a stressful apt in holles st. Got on at Connolly. All carriges full to the brim. I know everyone paid for a seat but i was eight months pregnant and not one person let me have their seat. I finally got a seat at Mullingar. Not good enough when your legs, ankles and feets have trippled in size and are red and sore.

pancuronium

Eever wrote: »

See I just don't understand this. I think it's great that you were brought up with manners and all that but at the same time I feel like you're just adding to this sense of entitlement that some women have.

And standing up thus making her feel so awkward about it that she has to sit down is a bit odd to me. I know you've the best of intentions but it would make me so uncomfortable if someone did that to me.

Don't get me wrong the reason I would rather stand isn't to make you feel better about taking the seat its because I feel more comfortable leaving you with a choice as not everyone would feel comfortable accepting the seat from someone they don't know & it is now your choice to stand or sit makes no odds to me............i'm a me feiner like that like I said it makes me more comfortable

Carrieleee

Angeles wrote: »

If your disabled in some way, why are you getting on a bus in the first place?

Just because you're disabled doesn't mean you sit in the house all day. It doesn't mean that you can drive. And it doesn't mean that you have others to ferry you around either.

inforfun

Carrieleee wrote: »

Just because you're disabled doesn't mean you sit in the house all day. It doesn't mean that you can drive. And it doesn't mean that you have others to ferry you around either.

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?
Same for pensioners, women with buggies etc. Bags full of shopping so they clearly didnt just finish working.

stupidusername

inforfun wrote: »

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?
Same for pensioners, women with buggies etc. Bags full of shopping so they clearly didnt just finish working.

probably just to piss you off.

Carrieleee

inforfun wrote: »

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?
Same for pensioners, women with buggies etc. Bags full of shopping so they clearly didnt just finish working.

Hahaha! You can't just depict times that certain people may use the bus!

Lollipops23

inforfun wrote: »

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?
Same for pensioners, women with buggies etc. Bags full of shopping so they clearly didnt just finish working.

Because they also don't have to be tied to certain hours of bus usage...?

Jesus, how judgemental, disabled people/pregnant women etc are allowed use the bus whenever they choose!! I sit at a desk all day, why do I need the seat more than them?!!

stovelid

Elderly people; people holding a small child or pregnant women.

Knine

Sometimes though a disability is not obvious. My child uses as special needs buggy as she has both physical and intellectual disability but because she looks like any other child, people don't realise and you have to explain yourself.

Recently on a trip to the zoo, one of the staff starting telling me to make the lazy child get out and walk as they were too old to be in a buggy.:rolleyes:

He went on and on about it and to be honest when you either raising a child or looking after an adult with a disability you have much bigger battles to fight each and every day of the week to get too upset about comments like the above.

Wow Angeles, so the disabled should stay at home every day of the week, rather than inconvenience you by getting on a bus? It is no wonder that disabled people and their carers feel isolated from the rest of the world with that sort of opinion.

WindSock

Bus ****

inforfun

Carrieleee wrote: »

Hahaha! You can't just depict times that certain people may use the bus!

Why not?
OAP's in Holland get rather big discounts to use public transport. But they can only use these discounts after 9am.

Not that i really care anymore. You wont find me on a bus anymore.

LumpyGravy

A wise man once told me he'd rather have a pregnant woman stand on the bus than see a fat woman cry.

Aishae

wild_cat wrote: »

I usually hop up for the elderly, the less mobile and pregnant women.

I'm a bit shy at moving when a buggy gets onto the bus due to the fact that they are meant to fold them up but often don't and it causes untold confusion when a wheel chair user also boards the bus.

I understand some people not being able to give up their seat in a normal hospital... but in a maternity hospital? Surely not all of the fellows who remain seated have an under lying health condition?

Ah that really got my goat once.

I use a walking stick mostly but at times I need a rolling walking aid. I got on to a bus one day a few months ago with the roller and there was a buggy. Suddenly 3 more got on and somehow I ended up blocking the aisle with it as they all shuffled about to squeeze in. The driver had to shout back twice 'fold at least of those buggies!'

I rarely see a folded buggy even if there are 3-4 of them.

I'm also 27 and look healthy. It's not obvious I'm often dizzy and have no balance, never mind the walking trouble. I'm often left standing. I don't demand a seat. That's fine. But it DOES annoy me that when I do get a seat I'm stared out of it by an old one. I give up the seat if I'm able, but if I need it I need it. You cant always judge a book by the cover, as they say.

I always gave up my seat for old folks the heavily pregnant and infirm. I'm in the last category now. I don't expect people to give up a seat - I appreciate it if they do. But if I get a seat I'm staying there.

ejmaztec

I'd give my seat up to a suicide bomber.

whydoibother?

There's definitely a bit of judgement required as to how easily the person can stand. I know someone who is 60+, plays sports every day and looks young for her age. I'd say she'd be quite offended by an implication that she couldn't stand (though she wouldn't show it, she'd just accept politely)

mw3guc

inforfun wrote: »

But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?

Many people with disabilities also work and need to use public transport during rush hours for that very reason. Others may be attending doctor or hospital appointments. It would be nice if everyone could arrange their lives for the convenience of others but it's not often possible :rolleyes:

Most people (with or without disabilities, pregnant bumps etc) who don't need to be on a bus/train during rush hour would choose any other time to travel to avoid the congestion and discomfort.

Eever

Carrieleee wrote: »

The way I look at it is if you see someone you feel deserves your seat then offer it to them. If they say no they say no, you've done your best.

Probably the best attitude to have.

Angeles wrote: »

Its kinda ironic how were conditioned to give up a seat to an elderly person who's gonna take your seat for 20 mins on a bus, just to get up and spend the next few hours walking around shops in town..
Same goes for anyone.
If your disabled in some way, why are you getting on a bus in the first place?

How do you know that the elderly person is off to spend a few hours shopping in town? There could be any number of reasons they're on the bus other than to go shopping?? Even if that is what they need to do, all the more reason to give them a rest so they're not wrecked by the time they get there!

inforfun wrote: »

Fair enough.
But if they are disabled enough, not to be able to work, why the **** do they always seem to be needing the bus during rush hours?

What makes you think they're not working just because they're disabled?? If anyone who isn't working can avoid the bus during rush hour, I'm sure they would. Sure why would they want to put themselves through it?

inforfun wrote: »

Why not?
OAP's in Holland get rather big discounts to use public transport. But they can only use these discounts after 9am.

Feel free to correct me, but I thought it was the same here? That OAP bus pass can only be used at certain hours? Could be wrong about that though.

Aishae wrote: »

I always gave up my seat for old folks the heavily pregnant and infirm. I'm in the last category now. I don't expect people to give up a seat - I appreciate it if they do. But if I get a seat I'm staying there.

I hate that. There's nothing worse than people who stare or demand seats. If noone is willing to get up and offer one then they'll just have to put up with it. I had a woman get on a bus once and literally start screaming at me before I even looked up and saw her. She started calling me all sorts of names and telling me to gerrup outta da seat so I can sit down.

As far as I could see she was just fat and tired, though as has been said there could have been other medical problems I wasn't aware of and if I'd just seen her standing there I might have offered, but she didn't give me that chance, just started swearing at me so there was no way I was rewarding her behaviour by giving up my seat!

Beggared

stovelid wrote: »

Elderly people; people holding a small child or pregnant women.

Anyone who could hold a pregnant woman is in better shape than me so I would keep my seat.

stovelid

Beggared wrote: »

Anyone who could hold a pregnant woman is in better shape than me so I would keep my seat.

You missed the fact that I said pregnant women which would have allowed you an even more tortuously extended joke.

chopperbyrne

I once offered my seat to a pregnant girl on the LUAS.

She turned to me an said "I'm not fúcking pregnant!"

So I sat down again and then she start giving out to me for not giving her the seat.

No way am I giving up my seat for some fat, lazy girl in her twenties.

Aishae

An old couple got onto the Luas . Quite old I'd say frail and 80, I got up n motioned to them there was 1 seat. A pig ignorant burly fella that looked 30-40 ran for the seat and took it. Due to his size and scowl I didn't call him on it but most of the carriage was giving him dirty evils.

Kojak

I'd only give up my seat for bertie Ahern - what that man did for this country, no one can forget...

jacksprat

Rosa Parks maybe..?

Alice1

Saw men sitting in the Coombe hosp too - while pregnant ladies had to stand - when I was in for check ups. On one memorable occasion, a nurse came marching up through the waiting area and very loudly told all the men to stand and give their seats to the ladies - and she kept repeating it until all of the preggy ladies had seats.

I shall be eternally grateful to all the kind kind people who gave me their seats on the bus when I was preggy.

Daniel S

efb wrote: »

Aged 60+ female 70+ male

Good to see equality has become commonplace.

Mr. Presentable wrote: »

I will offer my seat to anyone who looks less able than I to stand.

I don't believe being pregnant is necessarily a disablement and wouldn't always get up for someone who made a lifestyle choice and looks big and strong

Exactly same here, +1.