And so it begins

pragmatic1 · 30-08-2011 10:12PM #1

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

TheMilkyPirate · 30-08-2011 10:13PM

Are you sure it wasn't spider-pig?

hondasam · 30-08-2011 10:13PM

Did he open the door himself?

FlutterinBantam · 30-08-2011 10:13PM

Had he a suitcase?

Lockey123 · 30-08-2011 10:14PM

Saw some massive fukcing one's around in the house.
They're scary looking yokes.

admiralofthefleet · 30-08-2011 10:14PM

was he a dj?

languagenerd · 30-08-2011 10:15PM

Is it not coming to the end of spider-season??

texidub · 30-08-2011 10:16PM

Sorry to break it to you on a public forum like this, but interestingly enough, it's not that spiders are getting bigger it's that you are getting smaller every day. Soon you will be the same size as the spider and you will be forced to wrestle it naked on live television.

pragmatic1 · 30-08-2011 10:18PM

texidub wrote: »

Sorry to break it to you on a public forum like this, but interestingly enough, it's not that spiders are getting bigger it's that you are getting smaller every day. Soon you will be the same size as the spider and you will be forced to wrestle it naked on live television.

Nooooooooooooooo. That would be a nightmare come true.

cocalolaman · 30-08-2011 10:19PM

You have my axe..

pragmatic1 · 30-08-2011 10:20PM

languagenerd wrote: »

Is it not coming to the end of spider-season??

I always start to see them around this time of year. Think they come inside when it starts getting cold. This fcuker was like a smallish huntsman. Hes dead now though.

hatrickpatrick · 30-08-2011 10:22PM

texidub wrote: »

Sorry to break it to you on a public forum like this, but interestingly enough, it's not that spiders are getting bigger it's that you are getting smaller every day. Soon you will be the same size as the spider and you will be forced to wrestle it naked on live television.

Ok but hang on a second - do I get some kind of handicap to make up for his having 8 arms to wrestle me with and me only having two?

Could I tie four of his limbs behind his back first? Otherwise it's just completely unfair.

Secondly, if I have to be naked I insist we also shave the spider.

30-08-2011 10:24PM

I was going to ask "how big" but no doubt you'll post a pic of one, I'll click on it, and no amount if sheep will get me to sleep tonight. So I'm going to assume it was a money spider

Did anyone else picture a spider sauntering on in with sunglasses and all on? No? Just me then? Alrighty....

CreepingDeath · 30-08-2011 10:25PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Be glad that insects never evolved lungs... that's the main reason there's a limit to their size. They only have primitive air spiracles to breathe through.
Otherwise the insects would rule the Earth.

Saila · 30-08-2011 10:26PM

did he just drop his luggage down and expect you to bring it upstairs for him
mine did, cheeky bastard :mad:

hatrickpatrick · 30-08-2011 10:26PM

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Be glad that insects never evolved lungs...

It's never too late for them to try something new...

kowloon · 30-08-2011 10:29PM

Started noticing the feckers the other day. Used to hunt them down every evening with a pint glass and throw them out. Had them fall on me while I was in bed a few times. Nothing more sickening then crunching one under a bare foot.

Frank Black · 30-08-2011 10:29PM

There was a big one in my shed yesterday.
My wife said 'throw the football at him', but I was genuinely afraid he would just head it back at me.

Now it feels like its 'his' shed.

They definitely weren't this big years ago.

pebbles21 · 30-08-2011 10:30PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Why dont look on some website and see?:D

pragmatic1 · 30-08-2011 10:31PM

Saila wrote: »

did he just drop his luggage down and expect you to bring it upstairs for him
mine did, cheeky bastard :mad:

Nah he scurried behind the couch all ninja like. Sneaky cnut. If he just asked I'd have spared his life but I'm sneakier.

Gran Hermano · 30-08-2011 10:31PM

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

was he a dj?

Did you find him in the bath, naked?

texidub · 30-08-2011 10:33PM

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Ok but hang on a second - do I get some kind of handicap to make up for his having 8 arms to wrestle me with and me only having two?

Could I tie four of his limbs behind his back first? Otherwise it's just completely unfair.

Secondly, if I have to be naked I insist we also shave the spider.

I haven't thought it through completely, but I read this on the back of a beermat once:

You have the advantage of your superior human intelligence: e.g poke its eyes with your finger, Mourinho-style. Then bore it to death with metaphysical discussion. The possibilities are endless.

And then on another beermat:

I dunno if shaving the spider would be much help. It would make it extra slippy in the baked beans you will have to wrestle the spider in.

Son Of A Vidic · 30-08-2011 10:35PM

OP - They like to move indoors for the winter, so make sure it pays you rent.

languagenerd · 30-08-2011 10:38PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I always start to see them around this time of year. Think they come inside when it starts getting cold. This fcuker was like a smallish huntsman. Hes dead now though.

Oh ok. They only seem to come into my house during the summer... Must be just cause that's when I have the windows open.

They're always taking over my room cause I'm too cowardly to catch them and I have to wait for someone else to get home/wake up to get rid of them for me

EGAR · 30-08-2011 10:43PM

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

pragmatic1 · 30-08-2011 10:47PM

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

Thats a big boy. I'd be out with a flamethrower.

Frank Black · 30-08-2011 10:47PM

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

Great.

Looks like its the 'spider nightmares' for me tonight.

SheFiend · 30-08-2011 10:48PM

I don't get the whole fear of spiders thing.

And I don't know what a tracker motgage is.

My name is URL · 30-08-2011 10:53PM

Man the fcuk up and call the fire brigade

Saila · 30-08-2011 10:55PM

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

Is the pack of fags to show scale? if so it worked :eek:

steddyeddy · 30-08-2011 10:55PM

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Theres a thread in the zoology forum about black widows making it to the uk so youd never know they could be over here soon.

And so it begins

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