And so it begins

pragmatic1

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

TheMilkyPirate

Are you sure it wasn't spider-pig?

hondasam

Did he open the door himself?

FlutterinBantam

Had he a suitcase?

Lockey123

Saw some massive fukcing one's around in the house.
They're scary looking yokes.

admiralofthefleet

was he a dj?

languagenerd

Is it not coming to the end of spider-season??

texidub

Sorry to break it to you on a public forum like this, but interestingly enough, it's not that spiders are getting bigger it's that you are getting smaller every day. Soon you will be the same size as the spider and you will be forced to wrestle it naked on live television.

pragmatic1

texidub wrote: »

Sorry to break it to you on a public forum like this, but interestingly enough, it's not that spiders are getting bigger it's that you are getting smaller every day. Soon you will be the same size as the spider and you will be forced to wrestle it naked on live television.

Nooooooooooooooo. That would be a nightmare come true.

cocalolaman

You have my axe..

pragmatic1

languagenerd wrote: »

Is it not coming to the end of spider-season??

I always start to see them around this time of year. Think they come inside when it starts getting cold. This fcuker was like a smallish huntsman. Hes dead now though.

hatrickpatrick

texidub wrote: »

Sorry to break it to you on a public forum like this, but interestingly enough, it's not that spiders are getting bigger it's that you are getting smaller every day. Soon you will be the same size as the spider and you will be forced to wrestle it naked on live television.

Ok but hang on a second - do I get some kind of handicap to make up for his having 8 arms to wrestle me with and me only having two?

Could I tie four of his limbs behind his back first? Otherwise it's just completely unfair.

Secondly, if I have to be naked I insist we also shave the spider.

I was going to ask "how big" but no doubt you'll post a pic of one, I'll click on it, and no amount if sheep will get me to sleep tonight. So I'm going to assume it was a money spider






Did anyone else picture a spider sauntering on in with sunglasses and all on? No? Just me then? Alrighty....

CreepingDeath

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Be glad that insects never evolved lungs... that's the main reason there's a limit to their size. They only have primitive air spiracles to breathe through.
Otherwise the insects would rule the Earth.

Saila

did he just drop his luggage down and expect you to bring it upstairs for him
mine did, cheeky bastard :mad:

hatrickpatrick

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Be glad that insects never evolved lungs...

It's never too late for them to try something new...

kowloon

Started noticing the feckers the other day. Used to hunt them down every evening with a pint glass and throw them out. Had them fall on me while I was in bed a few times. Nothing more sickening then crunching one under a bare foot.

Frank Black

There was a big one in my shed yesterday.
My wife said 'throw the football at him', but I was genuinely afraid he would just head it back at me.

Now it feels like its 'his' shed.

They definitely weren't this big years ago.

pebbles21

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Why dont look on some website and see?:D

pragmatic1

Saila wrote: »

did he just drop his luggage down and expect you to bring it upstairs for him
mine did, cheeky bastard :mad:

Nah he scurried behind the couch all ninja like. Sneaky cnut. If he just asked I'd have spared his life but I'm sneakier.

Gran Hermano

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

was he a dj?

Did you find him in the bath, naked?

texidub

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

Ok but hang on a second - do I get some kind of handicap to make up for his having 8 arms to wrestle me with and me only having two?

Could I tie four of his limbs behind his back first? Otherwise it's just completely unfair.

Secondly, if I have to be naked I insist we also shave the spider.

I haven't thought it through completely, but I read this on the back of a beermat once:

You have the advantage of your superior human intelligence: e.g poke its eyes with your finger, Mourinho-style. Then bore it to death with metaphysical discussion. The possibilities are endless.

And then on another beermat:

I dunno if shaving the spider would be much help. It would make it extra slippy in the baked beans you will have to wrestle the spider in.

Son Of A Vidic

OP - They like to move indoors for the winter, so make sure it pays you rent.

languagenerd

pragmatic1 wrote: »

I always start to see them around this time of year. Think they come inside when it starts getting cold. This fcuker was like a smallish huntsman. Hes dead now though.

Oh ok. They only seem to come into my house during the summer... Must be just cause that's when I have the windows open.

They're always taking over my room cause I'm too cowardly to catch them and I have to wait for someone else to get home/wake up to get rid of them for me

EGAR

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

pragmatic1

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

Thats a big boy. I'd be out with a flamethrower.

Frank Black

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

Great.

Looks like its the 'spider nightmares' for me tonight.

SheFiend

I don't get the whole fear of spiders thing.

And I don't know what a tracker motgage is.

My name is URL

Man the fcuk up and call the fire brigade

Saila

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

Is the pack of fags to show scale? if so it worked :eek:

steddyeddy

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Theres a thread in the zoology forum about black widows making it to the uk so youd never know they could be over here soon.

Son Of A Vidic

You know you've got a big spider when you hit it with a phone book, lift up the book and the spider scurries away.

Uriel.

steddyeddy wrote: »

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Probably the biggest spider I've ever seen has just walked into the sitting room. I'd say we're in for a bumper year. Were spiders always this big or is this a new thing.

Theres a thread in the zoology forum about black windows making it to the uk so youd never know they could be over here soon.

Black windows as in tinted so no one can see inside or black windows as in black out windows to stop the sun getting in and waking you up on Saturday morning at 7am?

Either way I wouldn't mind a set of one or other or both of them. Especially of they can keep spiders out.

Can't think for the life of me its relevance to a zoology forum......

EGAR

Saila wrote: »

Is the pack of fags to show scale? if so it worked :eek:

Yep, it was the only thing I had at hand in a hurry as the beast was fast and defending his spot but he couldn't possibly defeat the brush . And I probably saved his life. He wouldn't survive 5 minutes in my house, the hounds from hell and the cats would LOVE to have met him.... Yum, euch.

Corvus Maximus

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

You know you're stuck in the 90's when you have a phone book,.

FlutterinBantam

steddyeddy wrote: »

Theres a thread in the zoology forum about black windows making it to the uk so youd never know they could be over here soon.

Fahking blackout is still on over there?:eek:

ascanbe

EGAR wrote: »

Twas the size of a small pony... I swear...

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/270522_238798369477632_100000424117521_910390_903006_n.jpg

They ARE getting bigger. Thought he could hide behind my windowbox until I opened a window so he could sneak in.

I evicted him off the windowsill but I did not kill him.

I call it a *him* because if I call him an IT then I'd be afraid of it.

That's the famous modern art-work titled:
'Study of giant spider on moon with giant cigarette packet and yellow plane in distance'.

languagenerd

*makes mental note not to open any links in this thread*

Fremen

CreepingDeath wrote: »

Be glad that insects never evolved lungs... that's the main reason there's a limit to their size. They only have primitive air spiracles to breathe through.
Otherwise the insects would rule the Earth.

They do rule the earth. It's just the human and insect perspectives on the concept of 'rule' are rather different.

texidub

pragmatic1 wrote: »

Nooooooooooooooo. That would be a nightmare come true.

It's OK. hatrickpatrick is gonna wrestle him for you.

Gran Hermano

languagenerd wrote: »

*makes mental note not to open any links in this thread*

Best not look at this one then
http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/

Frank Black

Gran Hermano wrote: »

Best not look at this one then
http://www.onemotion.com/flash/spider/

Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

Geekness1234

When I was in the country,at about 12:23 AM There was a spider which I measured,(after careful deliberation because he looked like he could take me any day of the week).He was three Fu@king inchs wide.He was bulky as well like he had been using 'roids.

steddyeddy

Uriel. wrote: »

Black windows as in tinted so no one can see inside or black windows as in black out windows to stop the sun getting in and waking you up on Saturday morning at 7am?

Either way I wouldn't mind a set of one or other or both of them. Especially of they can keep spiders out.

Can't think for the life of me its relevance to a zoology forum......

Jaysus I have to stop studying my heads wrecked I dont knoiw what Im writing half the time. (replace the word studying with drinking for accuracy).

Son Of A Vidic

Deleted User wrote: »

correct.

Year: 1998.
Location: Belsize Park, London.

Darkginger

Serious question to other arachnophobes out there - does size matter?

Chuck Stone

You're making a big mistake killing them Prag. One night I was walking home on a country road and an old woman was crying at the side of the road and she pointed at me and stared with steel grey eyes and wailed 'the more you kill the more will come' and disappeared into the ditch.

Frank Black

Darkginger wrote: »

Serious question to other arachnophobes out there - does size matter?

Anyone who says it doesn't is just trying to be nice.

pragmatic1

Chuck Stone wrote: »

You're making a big mistake killing them Prag. One night I was walking home on a country road and an old woman was crying at the side of the road and she pointed at me and stared with steel grey eyes and wailed 'the more you kill the more will come' and disappeared into the ditch.

I normally love all animals but I've had a few vodkas and this dude was asking for it.

pragmatic1

Darkginger wrote: »

Serious question to other arachnophobes out there - does size matter?

Yeah but its more to do with the way they move. Its just alien looking.

DepecheHead101

I wish I had not read this thread. I might have to sleep at the opposite end of the bed tonight. Spiders like to come up behind my headboard. Seemingly they won't do this if I sleep the other way around.

It's also growing season for psilocybin mushrooms. Gee thanks, God.