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Should watching porn stop when you're in a relationship?

12467

Comments

  • #92
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 98,143 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    LOL

    Brother gets the money and lots of brownie points.

    Think back , was there any reason for him to seek revenge on something you did ?

    Was it enough for him to buy a new laptop :p ?


  • #93
    Hannah2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41 ✭Hannah2011


    To be honest OP, I would be equally as pissed off with you. I wouldn't like to think of my boyfriend watching porn, he probably does...but I would flip out if I knew for certain or saw any trace of it. As women we are always feeling self-conscious about our bodies, if we think you are constantly looking at this perfect bodied women, you can't live up to.

    So yeah she probably had a complete over-reaction, but I and many other women would have exactly the same reaction.


  • #94
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    Hannah2011 wrote: »
    To be honest OP, I would be equally as pissed off with you. I wouldn't like to think of my boyfriend watching porn, he probably does...but I would flip out if I knew for certain or saw any trace of it. As women we are always feeling self-conscious about our bodies, if we think you are constantly looking at this perfect bodied women, you can't live up to.

    So yeah she probably had a complete over-reaction, but I and many other women would have exactly the same reaction.

    But that's your failing, not the mans. I'm sure you've never looked at another man and thought you'd like to mount him have you? But that's ok i suppose.


  • #95
    starlit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,349 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    I am a girl and I wouldn't like a fella I were seeing to be watching it but if he wanted to continue watching it there is no reason for him to stop if I were in a relationship with him just once he doesn't let it consume him and not get obsessed over it. Its normal but there is a line he shouldn't cross like. Its only fantasy its not real but if he wants acts to be carried out I would be against that if he can't handle that then he can lump it I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that sort of thing and the expectation be too high. I wouldn't watch it with him he can do that in his own time.


  • #96
    Hannah2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41 ✭Hannah2011


    Seanbeag1 wrote: »
    But that's your failing, not the mans. I'm sure you've never looked at another man and thought you'd like to mount him have you? But that's ok i suppose.


    And that is why this conversation will go round and round, because by your comment you have clearly demonstrated you don't have a clue and don't understand women at all.


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  • #97
    Aoifey!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,571 ✭✭✭Aoifey!


    Hannah2011 wrote: »
    And that is why this conversation will go round and round, because by your comment you have clearly demonstrated you don't have a clue and don't understand women at all.
    I'm a woman and I don't agree with what you said at all.


  • #98
    Hannah2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 41 ✭Hannah2011


    Aoifey! wrote: »
    I'm a woman and I don't agree with what you said at all.


    What do you think?


  • #99
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    Hannah2011 wrote: »
    And that is why this conversation will go round and round, because by your comment you have clearly demonstrated you don't have a clue and don't understand women at all.

    I understand sane women.


  • #100
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Hannah2011 wrote: »
    And that is why this conversation will go round and round, because by your comment you have clearly demonstrated you don't have a clue and don't understand women at all.

    I'm a woman and I disagree with you completely.

    I have no illusions about my body, it's not great, but I'm not self conscious about it. I'm perfectly happy with it. Women are not always self conscious. And porn is FANTASY, just like how I find Johnny Depp ride-able. I love my boyfriend but that doesn't stop Johnny Depp being hot.


  • #101
    Aoifey!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,571 ✭✭✭Aoifey!


    Hannah2011 wrote: »
    What do you think?
    No matter how self conscious you are, you have have to realise that porn is fantasy, nothing more. It doesn't even compare to cheating. Women (well most women anyway) would be attracted to other men and possible have their own types of fantasies and that is not considered cheating, so why would porn be?

    When I man is watching porn, he's not comparing the women to his girlfriend/wife/partner/whatever.


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  • #102
    Temptamperu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,303 ✭✭✭Temptamperu


    Crazy chicks are the best in bed though ;)


  • #103
    argosy2006
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,210 ✭✭✭argosy2006


    http://pedlerpete.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/bitch_be_gone.gif?w=296&h=300

    Problem solved


  • #104
    Gilldog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭Gilldog


    Hannah2011 wrote: »
    And that is why this conversation will go round and round, because by your comment you have clearly demonstrated you don't have a clue and don't understand women at all.


    Im a woman, and I agree with him. does that mean that I don't understand women at all?

    Clearly if she has such a major issue with him watching porn, its her own insecurities at play. The only problem I would ever have with porn would be if it became an addiction or if a guy I was seeing wanted me to act out something I was uncomfortable with. I have watched porn of my choosing with ex boyfriends and found it fun, I understand some women don't like it but that does'nt mean its a mans failing for liking it.

    My ex boyfriend was very jealous of a super hunky foreign housemate I had, and used to get all paranoid that we got on well all the time - his issues, not mine. People are gonna fantasize about other people, and anyone who says they don't are liars!


  • #105
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    Gilldog wrote: »
    Im a woman, and I agree with him. does that mean that I don't understand women at all?

    Clearly if she has such a major issue with him watching porn, its her own insecurities at play. The only problem I would ever have with porn would be if it became an addiction or if a guy I was seeing wanted me to act out something I was uncomfortable with. I have watched porn of my choosing with ex boyfriends and found it fun, I understand some women don't like it but that does'nt mean its a mans failing for liking it.

    My ex boyfriend was very jealous of a super hunky foreign housemate I had, and used to get all paranoid that we got on well all the time - his issues, not mine. People are gonna fantasize about other people, and anyone who says they don't are liars!

    I remember reading about a study that explained mens attraction to porn. It's basically because of a lack of imagination and creativity. Women have the creative capacity to imagine up many fantasies with different people whereas men rely more on memory. So men will often remember sexual encounters instead of thinking of new ones. Porn basically provides new memory content for them.


  • #106
    westendgirlie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,125 ✭✭✭westendgirlie


    Agree with LyndaMcL & Aoifey! on this one. Don't know if their outlook comes with relationship experience but mine does.

    I don't feel threatened by the females in porn and Girlies, if you've never seen a porn, take it from me that most of their anatomy is not real! Movies are made up in bits and pieces and edited for viewing pleasure. Like Pierce Brosnan who's on right now. I'm having nawtee thoughts and he's dressed!!!

    Dunno about the other girlies on here but I think about sex.........a lot. And if men are disgusting for watching somebody elses ideas then I really won't be going to heaven for some of the ideas I have thought of myself :p


  • #107
    Gilldog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭Gilldog


    Seanbeag1 wrote: »
    I remember reading about a study that explained mens attraction to porn. It's basically because of a lack of imagination and creativity. Women have the creative capacity to imagine up many fantasies with different people whereas men rely more on memory. So men will often remember sexual encounters instead of thinking of new ones. Porn basically provides new memory content for them.


    So pretty much porn helps men learn better...they should use that to advertise it - porn makes you smarter!


  • #108
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    The OP's girlfriend shouldn't have broken his laptop, shouldn't have been snooping around, but ultimately I do agree with her. It is broadly analogous to cheating as far as I see it. Others mightn't share that view but I can understand why she would.

    I don't get how this position must of necessity mean insecurity though. Think about it this way OP, if there wasn't anything contentious about it why did you feel the need to hide it from your girlfriend in the first place?


  • #109
    willmunny1990
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,432 ✭✭✭willmunny1990


    its all just fantasy to me i was never compareing her with the women in the films,she claims i think shes not enough for me but just because i take care of myself and choke the chicken from time to time doesnt mean i think that,im sure women do it aswell.They might not look at porn but the defo take care of themselves!


  • #110
    tan11ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,056 ✭✭✭tan11ie


    philologos wrote: »
    The OP's girlfriend shouldn't have broken his laptop, shouldn't have been snooping around, but ultimately I do agree with her. It is broadly analogous to cheating as far as I see it. Others mightn't share that view but I can understand why she would.

    I don't get how this position must of necessity mean insecurity though. Think about it this way OP, if there wasn't anything contentious about it why did you feel the need to hide it from your girlfriend in the first place?

    I'm guessing he knew the probable outcome of being caught. CRAZY **** REACTION !


  • #111
    tan11ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,056 ✭✭✭tan11ie


    willmunny1990 wrote: »
    its all just fantasy to me i was never compareing her with the women in the films,she claims i think shes not enough for me but just because i take care of myself and choke the chicken from time to time doesnt mean i think that,im sure women do it aswell.They might not look at porn but the defo take care of themselves!

    Maybe your not showing her she is enough...just saying :)


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  • #112
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    tan11ie wrote: »
    I'm guessing he knew the probable outcome of being caught. CRAZY **** REACTION !

    Again, I don't see what's wrong about her reasoning. It's obvious that if one felt as if their partner were going to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere that they would feel as if they weren't / aren't enough.

    I can understand that, but as for the manifestation of that feeling through breaking the OP's property, that's clearly wrong.


  • #113
    Saila
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,751 ✭✭✭Saila


    Seanbeag1 wrote: »
    I remember reading about a study that explained mens attraction to porn. It's basically because of a lack of imagination and creativity. Women have the creative capacity to imagine up many fantasies with different people whereas men rely more on memory. So men will often remember sexual encounters instead of thinking of new ones. Porn basically provides new memory content for them.

    :confused: and nothing to do with stunning women getting nailed in all kinds of positions and entries


  • #114
    tan11ie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,056 ✭✭✭tan11ie


    philologos wrote: »
    Again, I don't see what's wrong about her reasoning. It's obvious that if one felt as if their partner were going to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere that they would feel as if they weren't / aren't enough.

    I can understand that, but as for the manifestation of that feeling through breaking the OP's property, that's clearly wrong.

    He wasn't physically cheating! Now that's a whole different ball game.


  • #115
    Emiko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 449 ✭✭Emiko


    philologos wrote: »
    Again, I don't see what's wrong about her reasoning. It's obvious that if one felt as if their partner were going to seek sexual satisfaction elsewhere that they would feel as if they weren't / aren't enough.

    It's a bit like thoughtcrime.


  • #116
    philologos
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,479 ✭✭✭✭philologos


    Both are broadly analogous as I see it. The only difference is the direct physicality. It doesn't change the fact that you are getting your jollies to another man or woman as far as I would see it.


  • #117
    MagicSean
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,897 ✭✭✭MagicSean


    Saila wrote: »
    :confused: and nothing to do with stunning women getting nailed in all kinds of positions and entries

    I think you're missing my point. Women can create the fantasy. Men need to see it.


  • #118
    flutterflye
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,538 ✭✭✭flutterflye


    Gilldog wrote: »
    People are gonna fantasize about other people, and anyone who says they don't are liars!

    This bugs me big time!
    Why is it that people believe that people are liars if they don't live up to the norms of society?!
    I can say 100% honestly that I do not fantasize about anyone else at all ever.
    I can see if a guy is hot, and I'll think "wow, he's hot" and then continue thinking about the dinner or whatever.


  • #119
    stripysocks85
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭stripysocks85


    Does the whole 'stop watching porn when in a relationship' lark apply when I'm the female?! :D


  • #120
    willmunny1990
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,432 ✭✭✭willmunny1990


    flutterflye wrote: »
    This bugs me big time!
    Why is it that people believe that people are liars if they don't live up to the norms of society?!
    I can say 100% honestly that I do not fantasize about anyone else at all ever.
    I can see if a guy is hot, and I'll think "wow, he's hot" and then continue thinking about the dinner or whatever.

    then your not human


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  • #121
    Gilldog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭Gilldog


    flutterflye wrote: »
    This bugs me big time!
    Why is it that people believe that people are liars if they don't live up to the norms of society?!
    I can say 100% honestly that I do not fantasize about anyone else at all ever.
    I can see if a guy is hot, and I'll think "wow, he's hot" and then continue thinking about the dinner or whatever.

    To be honest, I was basing it on conversations ive had with all my female friends over the years, and every one of them had a favourite guy on tv or sports player or celebrity or whatever what they fantasized about. A lot of the shows on tv like true blood and game of thrones have super hot guys with no shirts on looking hunky and dangerous and it's why a lot of women watch them in my opinion - because its a character they fall for, because women tend to need more than just a picture or an image, I believe that women need some sort of personality to go along with a hot bod.

    But hey, if you say that you have never fantasized about someone other than your boyfriend or husband, good for you. Im just saying that I do it regularly and so do most of my friends, and there's nothing wrong with it. I believe you, but I also think you are in the minority.

    Everybody needs escapism :D


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