Wedding present of cash

27-08-2011 04:24PM

kylith wrote: »

Disagree. My brother wound up with some of the most godsawful hideous lamps, vases, etc. not to mention 3 or 4 toasters. With most people living together before getting married the tradition of giving housewares is completely useless. The money can be put towards paying off the huge debts they may have incurred putting on the wedding in the first place.

But the point of the tradition of wedding present giving. Is to help the couple set themselves up in life.
If you want to pay crazy prices, to have me feign interest in watching you play prince and princess for a day. Have the decency to foot the bill yourself.

Micky Dolenz · 27-08-2011 04:34PM

kelle wrote: »

Your own avatar?

This is my avatar that you stole from me. Such a baby :pac:

27-08-2011 05:32PM

If you can't afford to get married then have a small wedding and reception, don't be relying Om guests to give you cash gifts in order to off set the cost.

Last friend wedding I was at was one if the best, they couldn't afford a big wedding so got married during the day with just family present and then they had a party in a country pub where all their friends were invited. There was plenty if music, food, drinking and s great time was had by us all. As most of us were under 24 at the time we didn't have a lot of disposable cash but all-made an effort to get them something they'd appreciate, I got them some of the Gibhli collection on DVD and they loved it but I know that if I gave that as a gift at most weddings the bride and groom would be disgusted if I didn't throw a few hundred euro into an envelope also.

I if was to ever get married it would be like a military movement, "this is how much we have and this is how much we can spend on the wedding" if the number was small then a small wedding, if the number was nUmber was big then a small wedding and the remainder saved for mire important things. Same thing goes for kids, "this is what we got but we need at least this much before we even consider kid".

Big Nasty · 27-08-2011 05:52PM

€100 - €150 would be the norm IMO. Would stretch to €200 if it was someone I'm really close to.

Was at a wedding in England a couple weeks back and was with the couple the next day when they were opening the presents and writing down names for thank you cards. The average was £50 and plenty gave only £25! :eek:

These were all fairly well off people too!

Aishae · 27-08-2011 06:54PM

its usually at the 50-75 mark for me. and 1/200 to people im close to. but i try hard to get a pressie rather than give cash. i hate giving cash.
when my cousin married a few years ago (were close, i was bridesmaid) my gift was making keyring/pendants gifts that sat on the name tags at the place settings at the reception. over 170 guests so i spent close to 300 but i loved doing something that was gift and contributed to the wedding (without feeling like i was just paying for part of the wedding)
i really wanted to give them a small gift too though. they love formula 1. so i drew an F1 car - with their initials on the bonnet and framed it. they loved it and hung it in the bathroom. that was free apart from a 5 euro frame.

another cousin im not close to - but whom i still care about. i'd no money really. i was her bridesmaid too. but her wedding was abroad, i had to buy my own flights etc so i couldnt afford some expensive assed pressie. you know those places where you get posters that have a little poem about the meaning of your name? well i saw a place that did a poster for couples. that took the meaning of their names and linked them in a nice way (compatability) - it was framed and i could have the weding date added too. they absolutely loved it thankfully. cost a tenner!

i dont think the price matters so much. its not even just the amount of thought that goes into something. its what that something will mean to them.

so i try to suss out what they like or need (around the house) - this is harder when you hardly know them!

nlgbbbblth · 27-08-2011 07:00PM

I'd always try and buy them something.

If not, I'd give a cheque.

Wouldn't recommend cash or a bank draft.

Wolfe Tone · 27-08-2011 10:28PM

The mother was telling me that when she got married she got gifts of a washing machine, tumble dryer, toasters, etc, basically a kitchen!

Would that be the norm back in the day? (remember ye wouldn't be living together before marriage in them days!)

modmuffin · 27-08-2011 10:35PM

I got married there about a month ago.

Most aunties and uncles and people over the age of 50 gave gifts, most younger people gave cash.

Average was €150 (from couples) which i believe is very generous.

Cellygirl · 27-08-2011 10:46PM

Totally astounded by people saying they 'only' give €100 these days cos they're stretched financially.

€100 is LOADS, seriously, a huge amount of cash.

Got married about five months ago and got everything from €50 to €400 in cards with the average about €150. We were so blown away, couldn't believe how generous people were. We genuinely were not expecting so much due to the recession and also just because we didn't really think of gifts at all, we were happy with anything at all, or nothing, didn't matter to us.

We paid for the wedding ourselves, after saving for two years and didn't need a penny of the gift money to pay for the wedding. The way I look at it, have the wedding YOU can afford. Don't rely on/expect cash gifts to pay for anything, that's not fair on your guests.

€100 is loads for a wedding present. Someone there was saying they can't go to a wedding and thought giving €75 would be stingy. It's NOT! Honestly, it's lovely of you to want to give something even though you can't attend but it is NOT expected at all. A card saying 'sorry we can't be there, have a lovely day' is perfectly acceptable. If you REALLY want to, a One4All voucher for anything from about €30 or so would be loads, up to €50 max, MAYBE. But only if you can afford it.

We also got some lovely gifts - frames, glasses, a piece of art, pretty cake stands, candle holders, lovely things.

ONe thing I will say is we got 38 wine glasses! In sets of four or six, but 38 none the less. So maybe don't buy wine glasses, generally couples get loads!!!

tskk · 27-08-2011 10:51PM

Aishae you sound so sweet.....not many people would go to so much thought or time on a gift!

I have not been to a wedding in a long time....early 40's!....most of my friends are married or have more sense at this stage!

I would give 125 euro if its a couple going to a wedding or 75 if you're going as a single. I know 3 of my friends who are single are going to a wedding and all chipping together to buy one large gift.

My name is URL · 27-08-2011 11:08PM

A whole load of bollocks. I don't like weddings at the best of times but being expected to give a cash gift is infuriating. Especially when you realise that the money is going to be used to pay for the fcuking egotistical display that is being put on for you.

I was at a wedding a few months ago and they had a string quartet playing at the church and the reception.. a fcuking quartet! These people don't like classical music, and neither did any of the guests. The old recession hasn't put stop to that bullshit just yet. Cash me hole.. get them a voucher for Harvey Norman's!

Bride2012 · 28-08-2011 01:35AM

As a couple we give €200 to most, €300 to each of our close circle of friends, €500 for siblings and €50 for an afters.

England is totally different, half a case of wine (6 bottles) or the equivalant is considered to be the norm.

allthedoyles · 28-08-2011 01:39AM

Bride2012 wrote: »

As a couple we give €200 to most, €300 to each of our close circle of friends, €500 for siblings and €50 for an afters.
.

You must get invited to a lot of weddings .

Did you ever wonder why you get so many invites ?

Mike 1972 · 28-08-2011 10:55AM

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Would that be the norm back in the day?

Not unless one had some pretty well healed* family/friends given that such things were hideously expensive back in the day (maybe less so in the pre/early tiger days of the 1990's ???). Most people would have struggled (HP and wotnot) to own such items themselves nevermind buying them as presents.

* So Comrade hows that revolution coming on

iPlop · 28-08-2011 11:54AM

My name is URL wrote: »

A whole load of bollocks. I don't like weddings at the best of times but being expected to give a cash gift is infuriating. Especially when you realise that the money is going to be used to pay for the fcuking egotistical display that is being put on for you.

I was at a wedding a few months ago and they had a string quartet playing at the church and the reception.. a fcuking quartet! These people don't like classical music, and neither did any of the guests. The old recession hasn't put stop to that bullshit just yet. Cash me hole.. get them a voucher for Harvey Norman's!

Reminds me of a wedding I went to in the good times, the invitation had on it an instruction of 'cash' as a gift and only a minimum of €250, and this was a fúcking instruction..

Two arseholes so far up their own arses, it annoyed me so much I gave them nothing.

It's good though they've been brought back to reality because of the recession, they have to shop in aldi with the rest of the common folk.

Micky Dolenz · 28-08-2011 01:41PM

My sister got married a few years ago and printed on the invitation was " The only present we want is your presence"

saying that another sister of mine had a wedding list at some big shop, which I thought was cheeky and tasteless.

Kiera · 28-08-2011 01:44PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

saying that another sister of mine had a wedding list at some big shop, which I thought was cheeky and tasteless.

I wouldnt have gotten her anything on the list. In fact i would have given her a shítty present for being so cheeky.

Micky Dolenz · 28-08-2011 01:45PM

Kiera wrote: »

I wouldnt have gotten her anything on the list. In fact i would have given her a shítty present for being so cheeky.

I burnt her house down, that learnt her, good and proper.

FloatingVoter · 28-08-2011 01:45PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

My sister got married a few years ago and printed on the invitation was " The only present we want is your presence"

saying that another sister of mine had a wedding list at some big shop, which I thought was cheeky and tasteless.

I'll hazard a guess that the first sister got more gifts.

Mike 1972 · 28-08-2011 01:48PM

kelle wrote: »

The lazy option would have been better, so I bear that in mind when giving wedding gifts (ie always money!).

I hate buying presents at the best of times. but Ive been invited in the past to weddings of relations I didnt particularly know that well. My extended family are scattered here there and yonder and I only see most of them once a year or less (in many cases I regard this as a blessing mind) How the fup is one supposed to buy presents for people one hardly knows with little idea of what things theyre into or already have/dont have ? In any case most of them probably have more money than I do anyway so probably have anything they really want/need.

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

My sister got married a few years ago and printed on the invitation was " The only present we want is your presence"

Which is the way it should be TBH.

When the cost of weddings comes up many people focus on the cost to the couple but it can be pretty bloody expensive exercise for a lot of the guests too. Particularly if they have to travel a long distance and/or dont have a pot to piss in. In fact It can often be pretty bloody inconsiderate inviting a person in such circumstances to ones wedding knowing that they are the sort of person who will feel obliged to turn up.

I wouldnt be totally against the wedding list idea though (provided its not somewhere like feckin Brown Thomas or suchlike) at least if might stop the four dinner sets and five toasters.

hondasam · 28-08-2011 02:05PM

I think the wedding list is a great idea you are buying what they want, can't be wrong.

Micky Dolenz · 28-08-2011 02:08PM

Mike 1972 wrote: »

I wouldnt be totally against the wedding list idea though (provided its not somewhere like feckin Brown Thomas or suchlike) at least if might stop the four dinner sets and five toasters.

hondasam wrote: »

I think the wedding list is a great idea you are buying what they want, can't be wrong.

ah yeah, but she had a fecking 42" flat screen TV on the list :P

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 28-08-2011 02:16PM

kylith wrote: »

Disagree. My brother wound up with some of the most godsawful hideous lamps, vases, etc. not to mention 3 or 4 toasters. With most people living together before getting married the tradition of giving housewares is completely useless. The money can be put towards paying off the huge debts they may have incurred putting on the wedding in the first place.

What a silly statement. If you are going to get into HUGE debt to have a fcuking wedding then that person is brain dead. The same person is then pissed off because the guests didn't give him cash so he/she could pay for their retarded wedding...

People really are stupid.

hondasam · 28-08-2011 02:19PM

Barbara Chubby Voucher wrote: »

What a silly statement. If you are going to get into HUGE debt to have a fcuking wedding then that person is brain dead. The same person is then pissed off because the guests didn't give him cash so he/she could pay for their retarded wedding...

People really are stupid.

Agree if you can't afford a big wedding then have a small one or stay single.

Mike 1972 · 28-08-2011 02:22PM

^^ Or cohabit like intelligent people do

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

ah yeah, but she had a fecking 42" flat screen TV on the list :P

Fine as long as she had cheaper stuff on there too.

Anyway Id hate to have a 42" CRT (non-flat) set in the gaf

You could always give them their comeuppance
1) by buying a 42" set with only analogue (or MPEG2) tuning (The number of people who have been and still are getting sold a pup on this score is phenomenal and will become apparent in around 18 months from now)
2) By rejecting all this imperialist hegemony and buy them a 42 centimetre set

jos28 · 28-08-2011 02:22PM

x_Ellie_x wrote: »

I normally buy presents. I don't give money. I think its kind of rude to just give money in a card. It kind of says you didn't care enough to bother spending your time looking and choosing a present for them.

Couldn't agree more. I hate putting money in a card. I think it is tasteless and shows that you could not be bothered choosing a present. Put a bit of effort in, find out what they really like. Use your imagination when choosing presents.

Sooopie · 28-08-2011 02:25PM

Sink The Banana wrote: »

Reminds me of a wedding I went to in the good times, the invitation had on it an instruction of 'cash' as a gift and only a minimum of €250, and this was a fúcking instruction..

Two arseholes so far up their own arses, it annoyed me so much I gave them nothing.

It's good though they've been brought back to reality because of the recession, they have to shop in aldi with the rest of the common folk.

:eek:

thats disgraceful!!!

hondasam · 28-08-2011 02:26PM

Sooopie wrote: »

:eek:

thats disgraceful!!!

yes who shops in Aldi ffs.

Bride2012 · 28-08-2011 02:34PM

allthedoyles wrote: »

Bride2012 wrote: »

As a couple we give €200 to most, €300 to each of our close circle of friends, €500 for siblings and €50 for an afters.
.

You must get invited to a lot of weddings .

Did you ever wonder why you get so many invites ?

No, we get invited to a perfectly normal amount of weddings. I can't imagine that the couple would be saying how much particular guests gave so nobody would know.

iPlop · 28-08-2011 02:36PM

Sooopie wrote: »

:eek:

thats disgraceful!!!

Yeah they are the type of people that think they're posh because they've bought a house, I remember the guy used to wear a scarf and try to dress like a "well to do" because they bought an overpriced house and 2 cars on credit, the girl changed her accent to a D4 accent, pretty feckin outrageous stuff.

I think the real reason I gave them nothing is because they're muppets, they actually re-mortgaged the house for the wedding and it cost 50k.They pretended that they just had the 50k lying around and were telling everyone at every opportunity that "it was nothing ,just 50k" ,the grooms brother told me they re-mortgaged the house for it, even he thought they were muppets. LOL:pac:

Wedding present of cash

Comments