Have you ever "dumped" friends?

phasers · 25-08-2011 10:34AM

yet it wouldn't be right to tell them to feck off

Here's your problem OP. If you don't like people then tell them as much. Why would you maintain a friendship with people you don't like? I've never understood it and I never will.

...this is probably why I only have 3 friends. At least I like them all though.

Koltashe · 25-08-2011 10:37AM

Its only natural to go through different friends through out your life... and yes some will stick around for years and some will be there at your deathbed...

I honestly don't see what the problem is? You dont want to spend time with them then when they call and invite you out just say you got other plans.

Do keep in mind that if not all but at least some of your friends will mature and grow as well and you might find yourself re commecting with them. So be nice and keep in touch no one is forcing you to spend every waking hour with them, but no need in dumping cutting people out of your life just because at the moment you don't find much in common with them.

bnt · 25-08-2011 10:44AM

I'm still friends with three guys I met in school, despite the fact that we live in four different countries now. But then I have a narrow definition of "friend": I've met various other people over the years and see some of them at times, but I'd call them acquaintances, not friends. If I needed help, my friends would be there for me, my acquaintances would not - and vice versa. My friends are the guys who made an effort to engage with me, instead of the usual apathy and dilettantism.

I think the word "friend" has been devalued recently, thanks to social networking (Facebook etc.). I see that Google is pushing back against this trend with Google+: your contacts are "people", and you choose the "circles" to which they belong. They're not friends in Google+ unless you put them in the circle called "Friends".

Lord TSC · 25-08-2011 10:54AM

I've lost contact with pretty much all the guys I went to school with unfortunatly. Although they were my best friends, there was some major opinion and lifestyle differences which led to a bit of trouble. Despite the fact I loved them all, I found out most of them were constantly *****ing about me behind my back, spreading rumours and making plans to do stuff to me I found competly unforgivable. I clung to the relationships for so long but eventually realised sometimes people just aren't meant to be friends.

I'm well aware that some of the problem lies with me, in that I'm the one with akwards views, but at the same time, I'm not beating myself up over it. For ages I thought "Wow, maybe it's bad I don't try harder to stay in touch and organise stuff", until I realised none of them were bothering with me either...

cityhunter · 25-08-2011 11:40AM

I have the same experience with you...
feel a little annoyed...

FTGFOP · 25-08-2011 11:47AM

Karona wrote: »

I really don't get people like you. I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude or anything but i get really pi$$ed off when people drop their friends just to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend the WHOLE time. Its ridiculous.

Are you saying here that one should stay friends with people you don't really like or relate to?

johnayo · 25-08-2011 11:51AM

Blast them with ??????????????

4zn76tysfajdxp · 25-08-2011 11:53AM

Mapck wrote: »

What if John Lennon had decided to hang-out with Yoko-Ono and listen to her instead of his friends? Ya that one gets you thinking.

Why, he could've ended up being murdered!

starlit · 25-08-2011 12:36PM

Ignored or distanced my self from friends ya but not necessarily dumped unless we got into an argument or something or didn't agree on something and didn't get pass that. Just generally end up ignoring or distance ourselves if the friendship starts to be one-sided.

ItsNoAlias · 25-08-2011 12:38PM

(Sarcastic)Try being an absolute C*NT to them... it always worked for me in the past... sinceyou dont want them to be your friends anymore than you shouldnt care what they think.

Or just email the ones you want to get rid of the link to this thread with the title "From my REAL friends to my EXfriends".

EverEvolving · 25-08-2011 01:12PM

OP - you should put this up on facebook -

"I'm currently making some changes in my life, and if you don't hear from me, then you're one of them."

People who do that are soo cool :rolleyes:

Apolloyon · 25-08-2011 01:21PM

The stab wounds were self inflicted and they crawled into the black bags on their own. I was merely facilitating their desire for deep sea diving without any breathing apparatus.

Any more questions can be directed to my legal team from now on.

Sierra 117 · 25-08-2011 01:22PM

I've dumped a few friends. Used to hang around with them in school but once I left school, I realized I had little in common with them. It didn't help that two of them had no problem hitting other people when they got upset or angry.

saywhatyousee · 25-08-2011 02:03PM

Dont do it OP.At the end of the day the boys will always be there.All i have to do is walk down to the corner and they will always be there with a funny story and a j.We always lend any each other money and there is never any bother paying it back.I would say were more like a band of brothers than friends.Reading this thread just made me realize how lucky i am.

Abi · 25-08-2011 02:23PM

charlemont wrote: »

Yes, I grew out of some things and no longer associate with people who bring on trouble.

This ^

I've always dissociated myself from people who attract drama of any kind. About a month ago a 'friend' of mine threw an absolute bitchy hissy fit just because I couldn't go over to hers for the night. She had a few drinks on her and said a couple of things she shouldn't have, things I had confided with her and she lash it all back at me.

Red card offense. Bubbye.

Wattle · 25-08-2011 02:24PM

I quit booze 8 years ago so I had to stop hanging around with my drinking buddies. Suddenly I had nothing to say to them anymore.

ItsNoAlias · 25-08-2011 03:33PM

Abi wrote: »

This ^

I've always dissociated myself from people who attract drama of any kind. About a month ago a 'friend' of mine threw an absolute bitchy hissy fit just because I couldn't go over to hers for the night. She had a few drinks on her and said a couple of things she shouldn't have, things I had confided with her and she lash it all back at me.

Red card offense. Bubbye.

Fair play to ya Abi. Had a "friend" from school do this to me a few years ago only he said the stuff to other people he was in the pub with. I aint spoken to him once since and we see each other all the time. I let it be known I do not like him and if anyone mentions him I always say "I have nothing bad to say about that man".

Funnily he has nothing but bad things to say about me. I aint the most likable bloke in the world but as I am socially inept but even I wouldnt do that just to get people to like me.

Move on and move up I say.

marcsignal · 25-08-2011 03:58PM

I've had to lose, or rather, 'avoid' a few long term friends over the last few years. In each case it was down to drink.

I drank hard, and all the time in the 90s, and had great fun doing it, but some of the lads I know from back then just never got beyond that.
I got pissed off hanging out with them eventually because they were always 6 pints in, by the time we'd all meet up at 9 O Clock. You're playing catch-up all night, while listening to them going on about the same shit, week in, week out.

It's a pity really, they're nice blokes in their own way, but I'm convinced one of them will be dead, or completely alienated, before he hits his mid 40s if he keeps it up.:o

Wattle · 25-08-2011 04:08PM

marcsignal wrote: »

I've had to lose, or rather, 'avoid' a few long term friends over the last few years. In each case it was down to drink.

I drank hard, and all the time in the 90s, and had great fun doing it, but some of the lads I know from back then just never got beyond that.
I got pissed off hanging out with them eventually because they were always 6 pints in, by the time we'd all meet up at 9 O Clock. You're playing catch-up all night, while listening to them going on about the same shit, week in, week out.

It's a pity really, they're nice blokes in their own way, but I'm convinced one of them will be dead, or completely alienated, before he hits his mid 40s if he keeps it up.:o

There's always a few sad cases amongst groups of friends. It's good that the penny dropped for you and you've been able to distance yourself.

guitarzero · 25-08-2011 04:17PM

I had a group of "friends" who I just ignored, pretended not be around when they called by, when in their company I found I had less to say and just grew bored of them. They were pretty dumb and was only friends with them by working with them, not by choice.
Now, I'm in another group of "friends". Im realizing a lot of it is to do with how boring I think many people are, how mundane their conversations can be and how little I care for the things and events they are enthused by.

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 25-08-2011 04:24PM

It depends on the friends

I have buddy's that will always be close mates of mine. I have friends that I grew up with that I mightn't have that much in common with now, and we mightn't hang out all that much anymore, but we'd always still have each others back if need be.

Then I have a couple of friends that I just don't want to see anymore becuase they never grew up, are rude and obnoxious, insulting to everyone and unbelievably arrogant insofar as they say things to you that you just dont say to people.
So they can **** right off

Karona · 25-08-2011 04:41PM

FTGFOP wrote: »

Are you saying here that one should stay friends with people you don't really like or relate to?

No I'm not saying that. The OP said he was sick of the majority of them, that's not them all. But it sounded like he was willing to get rid of all of his friends just so he can spend time alone or with his girlfriend.

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 25-08-2011 04:51PM

Everyone bitches about someone,so less of the paranoia stuff,your not here on earth to entertain or to please anyone so just live your life.

there's six billion people in the planet to be friends with so,if you do drop them make your peace and go your own way.

Ray Palmer · 26-08-2011 01:50PM

I "dumped" a friend I knew for 28 years. He effectively stopped growing up at around 18 and just became resentful. If you had nicer stuff than him he would break it on the sly or say how useless it was and he wouldn't want one.
I tried to look out for him for years but it became such a drain on my time and I just never wanted to see him. He now has no friends from his childhood,teens or 20s pretty much for the same reasons. Very like Jay from the inbetweeners

Eggy Baby! · 26-08-2011 01:55PM

I have actually- I "dumped" a friend because he decided to steal from three stores in my company, including the store one of my parents worked in! So I suppose I "disowned" him- never felt so betrayed in my life before; I drifted away from my friend on purpose and didn't return texts/calls when he wanted me to go down town or hang out...and I don't regret it!

dark crystal · 26-08-2011 02:04PM

I had a best friend for about 10 odd years, whom I met in school.

Anyway, she married a lovely guy, who adored her and we sort of lost touch, as they moved to another town.

A few years later, they moved back to the area and we started getting pally again. by now they had two kids, whom I thought the world of and would babysit occasionally. One day, I was over at hers having a glass of wine one evening, when she took a call from someone and I could hear her having an argument. When she came back n and I asked her about it, she said it was X's (one of the children) real father.

I said "WTF! He's not X's (her husband) child??" to which she just laughed and said, "Well, he's away so much (he worked for the navy), what am I supposed to do, just sit around waiting??"

I was so furious, I stormed out and haven't talked to her since. Turns out neither child was his (two different fathers to boot), although he believed they were and loved them as such. They ended up getting divorced when he found out and she's still single today, 6 years later.

I could never be friends with someone who thought it was ok to do such a rotten, deceitful thing to someone who was so utterly decent and kind.

DitzyPoo92 · 26-08-2011 02:28PM

I had two separate groups of friends up until about 3 months ago but i absolutely HATED half of one of the groups but loved the other half. I wanted to dump the other half so basically I told them they said stuff about each other behind each other backs so they had a row and stopped talking and I just told the half i hated that I heard they said stuff about me too. Now I can hang out with the half of the group I love no problem

Salty · 26-08-2011 02:46PM

I've just finished school and I'm in the process of cutting one toxic girl out of my life.

She's the most two-faced person I know..she said awful things about me and some of my closest friends behind our backs.

She made the last year in school so much more stressful than it should have been..she even managed to divide our group of friends in two:(

I just couldn't be bothered with this sort of childish carry on anymore..I didn't do anything to offend her or harm her. I always got a bad vibe off her, but refrained from showing my feelings for the sake of the others who seemed to really like her.

Sh*t hit the fan in May. I'm kinda glad it did. Now that we're all heading to college, it'll be easier to forget about her, and keep contact with the friends I actually value.

astonaidan · 26-08-2011 05:47PM

ive never intentionally cut friends off, Ive more grown apart from them dont see them, dont really meet them or have much in common with them anymore, Saying that ive a select group of friends who have moved all over the world korea australia england etc, who if i met in the morning i could talk to like i was talking to them yesterday, they would be the group i would actually consider real friends

Agricola · 26-08-2011 06:01PM

I shared a college flat with a friend who Id known since I was 14/15. We fell out over something which looking back seems fairly innocuous now. He tried to patch things up with me for weeks after but I just ignored the phone calls. He ended up moving to England for work and even though hes home a couple of times a year, we don't speak anymore. Its a pity really, we got on really well and he was like a brother. (The non-fighting type of brothers!)

My advice is just meet up with your friends once in a while. You may find them a massive pain in the ass now, but in 5 years time you might like to be able to pick up a phone, call one of em and go for a pint, and you won't be able to.

Have you ever "dumped" friends?

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